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Today’s problem: a co-worker faking sick. The Wimbly Womblys play Rayo Vallecano.
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 (00:00) to (02:00) Hello! And welcome to a brand new season of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys. I just want to bring you up to date on a couple of different developments. We've lost uh Dominic Solanke uh and also uh Ben Woodburn who were on loan with us from Liverpool. But we've replaced him, don't worry with this fella, Omarsson uh who is now going to be probably our our main backup striker at least to start and potentially our only backup striker because Will Grigg wants to be sold but my my contention is that with Omarsson and Will Grigg we've got ourselves a great team. Uh also we're zero games into the season and ralpho is already complaining about playing time so that's eh uh exciting and and welcome. Um we're gonna be playing in this European international cup competition. The idea here is simple, its a made up competition where we try to win 5 million dollars. We need 5 million dollars really badly because we've got big big teams coming in for the likes of John Green and John Green and I am nervous. I'm going to solve somebody's problem today guys. Uh in addition to solving my problem of never having played at Wanda Metropolitan problem solved. I'm gonna solve Merrys problem. I like the way Merry spells Merry's name. Its like merry Christmas. I've always preferred that spelling, but I feel bad because I know most people don't use that spelling. But I had a friend in uh middle school who used that spelling and I've always been partial to it. Merry's problem is as follows, 

" I have a friend oh no a coworker who is consistently calling in sick to work, then later I find them posting Instagram stories of themselves at concerts even though they should have been at home sick. I rely on this person to help me on different projects throughout the year, I don't want to go to my boss and rat them out. How do I politely tell them about their behavior? 

 So I mean...I..I.. I have a somewhat unusual perspective on this Merry and I suspect that maybe perspective is gonna be unpopular if there's somebody at your office whose not working... (02:00) to (04:00) Whose not working, and your boss doesn't know about it, it might be because your boss depends upon people like you to let them know when people aren't working.

And I know its uncomfortable. I know its awkward.

Also, I don't know the specific rules of your company. Like is this this really - are they taking sick days or are they taking like PTO days because it all goes into the same bucket. I mean, I assume that they're not taking their FMLA family medical leave time to go to concerts.

Um - and anyway in the US that's unpaid I believe, for most companies. So, I don't know if they're taking sick-sick days, or if they're taking like PTO days and then they're pretending to be sick, but it doesn't really matter because its the same bucket as vacation days.  That's off the post. We've had an awful start to our 2021-2022 season.

Guys, I need you to focus, alright. Roffo,(?~2:03) if you're gonna complain about playing time, you gotta play better. that's how - that's how it works. That's a great ball.

That's really phenomenal. It's great stuff. It's John Green, I mean he's a comeback specialist and then he just puts the ball in the absolute top corner, you cant stop him, you can only hope to contain him.

And, hes gonna do a little macarena thing.  I mean, its not the best celebration but it's the one that I happened upon. And we're up one - nil, we've got every opportunity to win this five million dollars which would be very important because i'd like to give John Green and John Green a raise in an attempt to make them happy, so that they don't leave because they are literally irreplaceable. 

Even if someone pays me 150 million dollars for John Green, it's not like I can go out and get Mosala(?~2:03) for 150 million dollars, like I have to get somebody whose worse than John Green. Because none of the clubs like - oh god - none of the clubs will sell me their - its off the post - will sell me their Mosalas(?~2:03).

 Wimbledon doesn't have the - yet - its doesn't have the champions league pedigree that those best-of-the-best players are looking for.  So, I think that you should - I mean - it's, I guess really the choice is between doing nothing. (04:00) to (06:00) Doing nothing, um, which I think is an acceptable thing to do in this situation. Um, you can do nothing. But then if you're gonna do nothing you can't let yourself simmer in resentment, because that's not bad for them, right, it's bad for you.

Like, when you're not getting the support you need at work, that's bad for you. Um, and when you're just merely resentful about it, like that doesn't actually make the situation better, or anything like that, all it does is make you miserable. 

Get it John Green - oh John, Green, it's one touch and then shoot in that situation. It's not sit on the ball and see what happens. I know I shouldn't complain, since you've already given me a goal and I also really don't want you to leave, but, it's still a little frustrating.  Oh no. Panic. Panic stations. Panic stations!

And everything worked out better than expected, Roffo with a completely unnecessary save. Roffo, you're not allowed - how does a 16 year old have that strange of a hairline? Uh, you're not allowed - Roffo, you're not allowed to get excited about a save that you didn't have to make and that resulted in your team giving up a corner kick. 

I'm critical of him - for those of you who are critical of my criticism - i'm critical of him because he's young and he still has a lot to learn, and he knows that he's very gifted. And so I don't need to like, be encouraging to him because he is well aware of his manifest in many gifts.

Right, so the three choices are, you do nothing but make a deal with yourself that you're no longer gonna simmer in resentment about this - oh no , I just knocked over one of my players with one of my other players. I mean, that's the worst defense i've ever seen in the history of FIFA.

 And yet, it all worked out.  Option two is that you talk to your coworker. (06:00) to (08:00) that is a tough thing. I- I mean, I almost might say like, it depends on the level of friendship you have with your co-worker, right? Becuase like one thing you could say, it's a little passive aggressive, but it might get the point across, is like, "hey, you know I follow you on Instagram. Like, I-I know that you don't have, like, if you were sick yesterday, you did an amazing job of, uh, you know, waking up in time for that..." I'm trying to think of a relevant musical artist who's relevant to the young people of today, "Lil Xan concert".

Did that work Meredith? Meredith says she also doesn't know. She also doesn't know any-any-any popular artists. I have heard a Lil Xan song, and so I feel like an expert in Lil Xan's music. And, uh, I mean I'm, I'm concerned about Lil Xan, if I'm being honest. That's not a joke. I am genuinely concerned about Lil Xan, and I hope that everything works out okay for him. 

Um, but yeah. So, you can do that. You can confront your co-worker. And there's a bunch of ways to do that, right? There's the way where you say, "listen, I feel like we need to have a talk because I really count on you to be part of this team, and I feel like you're not being part of the team. And that's frustrating for the rest of the team".

Like, like, the, like you know how in-in college pa-like you'd do group projects, there'd always be that person who like, didn't really do anything for the group project except have a lot of opinions? And like, the less they do, the more they have opinions kind of thing?

By the way, we've had one shot, they've had 7. But, we're winning. So, thank goodness the game doesn't count by shots. It just counts by winnings.

 Uh, bald John Green got a little too nervous there. Bald John Green doesn't believe in his pace the way that he used to, and that's unfortunate because he still has the pace. Aw, that was way too, he made it way too complicated. Bald John Green (08:00) to (10:00)

Bald John Green, that situation - you know what you do? You hammer the ball in the back of the damn net. The game isn't called "Run Around the Box and Pass It." The game is called...Well, I guess it's called "Football." It's also not called "Goal Scoring." But it should be called "Goal Scoring," because that's the point, Bald John Green! can confront your coworker, which you can do in a number of ways: Passively aggressively. I recommend just doing it in a semi-casual way, where you're semi-casually like "Hey, we're really counting on you to be part of this project, and it's frustrating to see your Instagram story on days when you're supposed to be sick." I think that's a pretty, like, direct way to confront the issue.

Or you can just go to your -  or you can go to your supervisor. Because that is what the job of the supervisor is to do. Is to say - you know - is to deal with those problems. And it's not necessarily a super fun job for your supervisor, but they're a grown-up; they can deal with it.

And you say "Listen. Here's my concern: This person (who is a nice person) is not coming to work, and that is a problem for the rest of our team." clears throat And I know that feels like throwing someone under the bus, and it feels like you're - you know - being - you know...-

Great job, Roffo. Great. Job. Roffo.

- I know like it feels like you're being a jerk, but you're not being a jerk. You're standing up for yourself. Now, I think that if you go in and say, like, "I hate this person, and you need to fire them," that's being a jerk. But if you go in and you say, like, "I feel like this person is taking advantage of our sick leave policy, because...and that they're not pulling their wait in this project, and that's frustrating." I think, like, any normal boss is gonna be like, "Oh! Well, let's think about some solutions for that problem.

 (10:00) to (12:00)

"And, like, it may be, ultimately, that finding that solution is on me! And that's why I'm the boss!" And then they'll deal with it, hopefully.

I think that's a corner kick? Otherwise, that was the worst shot I've ever seen in my life. We're gonna bring on Deji Oshilaja, who's gonna need to have a bigger role for us this season.

So, just to give you a broad sense of where things are in the AFC Wimbledon sphere: We are about to begin our first season in the Premiere League, which is incredibly exciting. It's also a little terrifying, because right now we can't buy any new players. We were only given a 10 million dollar transfer budget, which I know seems like a lot of money.

Like, if someone gave you 10 million dollars, you could probably do whatever you wanted with the rest of your life. And I get that, but it's not a lot of money in the FIFA 18 transfer market. And in the end, we're gonna just spend almost all of that money renegotiating the contracts of our existing players.

Because our players are...well, they're underpaid, and they now know it. Because they're playing the Premiere League and they're looking at all their friends who play in the Premiere League, and they're like, "You know, this guy's getting paid 30,000 bucks a week, and I'm getting paid 2 sandwiches and a - you know - a $5 bill. And I'm in England; I can't even spend that money!" 

And so, they wanna get new contracts, and I understand that, and I'm sympathetic. And, listen, they're the reason we're here. (Them, and my managerial genius.) And so I want to - you know - acknowledge that and be fair and everything.

It's John Green! Oh, he's off the post! Wow, that's frustrating. I mean, the guy just has so much power. Sometimes he can't even control himself. I really like that he got himself in that situation, but it would've been a wonderful moment. Put the game away. But instead, now we're stuck defending again, which (as everybody knows) is not our specialty. 

So, are they gonna have a last second goal? It's looking like no. I'm gonna make a third substitution, just to slow things down a little bit. 

 (12:00) to (13:03)

Also - oh, wow. We don't have - we have very few substitutes on the bench for this game. You know, let's give Omarsson his...Boy, that is a - I mean, it's just not a great photograph...We're gonna give him his first game. We're gonna give him an opportunity to come into the game. Just get his feet wet. Feel a little bit what it's like to play for AFC Wimbledon.

This is a guy who's comin' from (I believe) Iceland, and this is a big opportunity for him, you know? He's playing for a club that's miles and miles ahead of what he's used to, and I'm excited for him.

I'm a big believer in Icelandic players. Those of you who have followed me for a while will know this. I just believe - I believe in Iceland. And so I'm excited for him! He didn't get to touch the ball yet, but he's celebrating anyway, which is nice to see. 

Mr. Mangerinio(?~12:50), happy with the victory. It doesn't ultimately matter, but we could use the 5 million bucks. 

And I wish you luck with your not-sick employee, Mary. Thanks for watching. Best wishes.