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Edited by Tim Thomas
Hank: Hello and welcome to Games with Hank.  I'm Hank, this is games with me.  You'll be really pleased to know that I went and I looked at your comments on my last episode of Sims 3, and a great number of you wanted me to know certain things about the game that I'm sure you are finding intensely frustrating, so let's go fix those.

Alright.  Everybody's doing bad.  I need to click on this and that's gonna tell me things about my people. Uh, I think, is what you said.  I had to click on that and he's gonna go to bed, 'cause he's very sleepy.  He's also very hungry, and I also just got a boop noise in my ear that I don't even know what that means. 

Needs.  Hunger, bladder, energy.  Uh, this is the first time I've clicked on the needs tab, apparently.  Would I like to learn more about it?  No.  I wouldn't, you know?  So, social, he's very good, hygiene, he's okay, but uh, energy is very low.  But it's getting better.  Hunger and social are getting worse, and now I have to find my friend Bill and see what are you up to.  You're also sleepy.  Your hygiene is horrible.  Well.  You have spent a lot of time in dumpsters lately. 

Let's fill up your things.  I'm feeling better now that I've done this.  Oh, the other thing that you guys really want me to do, uh, okay, carpool's gonna come for Bill in an hour so what you really wanted me to put in some more counter space, because they couldn't prepare normal meals on the scant counter I've given them, which is just this sink area and a table.  But really?  You can't make food on a table?  I gave you an island, dorks.  Alright, counters.  Yes, counters.  That's a counter.  Uh, Sim points?  I just need money.  Country fried counter.  That sounds wonderful.  How do you--I forgot how to spin things.  That's not it.  I've completely forgotten how to spin things.  There it is.  Very intuitive.  Except when it doesn't work at all.  I don't know why that didn't work.  Why can't I put it there?  Why not?  I don't understand.  That seems like a great place, right there, below the--no.  I can put it right there, but then they can't open the fridge.  What?  What, what, why?  Why can't I put it there?  Does that count?  It's inelegant, I can say that for sure.  Why can't you put it next to a window?   I don't understand.  Alright, well, now they got counter space, I hope.  "Your counter, if you choose to accept it, is made of the finest materials ready to withstand intense chopping.  It's also pleasing when spied from the corner of your eye."  Eye.  "This counter will not self-destruct in three minutes or three lifetimes," Yo.  Instead I got this one, "We are committed to bringing your favorite sights and smells to your home in every way.  It's time for home furnishings to be fried.  Country fried.  What looks like paint to the untrained eye is really a decorative batter.  It's delicious and reasonably priced."  Alright, well, I got a fried counter and I don't know why I couldn't put it where wanted it, but I couldn't, so let's just not care and--okay, let's play the game. 

Bill, get up, you need to take a shower, quickly.  What's happening?  This is not ideal.  Ye--no--what?  No.  Yes?  I don't care.  Jesus.  I'm playin' a game, Java!  Now, Bill Clinton's not gonna get to work on time 'cause Java needed to update.  Okay.  Alright.  Get in the shower, Bill Clinton, you smell awful, shower, quickly.  Use your running shoes, man, and then you can prepare some waffles, which is maybe the first time you'll ever have had a meal that isn't awful.

Uh, you are now clean enough.  Go get food.  No, I got rid of it, no.  I'm awful at this.  Have breakfast.  Have breakfast.  Waffles.  Nope, nope.  Oh, God, I always click on the thing, God dang it!  Go to the car!  Where is it?  Go to work.  Now.  Who's calling me?  Who's calling who?  I don't know how to--ahh, God, this game!

Oh, God, I turned it off.  Don't click--I--why is that the thing?  It seems to me like if the things (?~4:51) then you click on it, right?!  Oh, God.  Charismatic cash.  A local politician that's been keeping an eye on you thinks that you should put in the effort to improve your charisma skill.  Well, Bill Clinton is into that.  To make this worth your effort, you'll be paid to improve your charisma by just one level.  Seems like a good deal.  I agree!  Seems like a great deal.  City Hall, alright, return to Sim.  Oh.  Uh, wait, where's that?  There was the thing.  It said re--well, Bill Clinton is not gonna get food today.

I do like this game.  Oh gosh, get to work, Jimmy Carter.  Yep, go.  Did you eat or did you just cook?  You didn't eat the waffles.  You made waffles but you did not eat them.  You are slow.  You are slow.  What's this?  No, don't go home.  Go w--you have to go to work.  Don't go home.  I hope I didn't tell you to go home just now.  This game has so many different things in it to be confusing about.  No, no, don't ever never click on things!  Jesus!  It's such a--it's right in front your face, it's like, hey, (?~6:12) at least there's waffles at home, he's starving.

There's just so much I don't know about how to make the world work for my Sims.  Bill, are you at home?  Have you eaten those waffles?  Are you eating food?  Eat food.  Yeah, make things in the oven.  Oh, there's a--there was a trash can there!  Ohhhh.  Let's move that.  Everything is better now!  Alright.  Put your trash can by your trash can or just put it over here, I guess.  Probably both of them, 'cause that's less weird.  Alright.  Right, okay.  Feelin' like I accomplished something.  Bill Clinton just burned the meal he was cooking?  Oh God dang it, did you just say 'cah-rack'?  Cah-rack.  You're so hungry.  You burnt Jimmy's waffles! 

Oh my God, this game.  Eat it anyway, you're starving.  Are you gonna eat it?  Don't go to bed.  Eat the waffles.  What?  What?  You just made them more by--eat the waffles.  Eat the waffles.  Yeah, thinking about those burned (?~7:32) waffles you're gonna eat--oh, yeah, they're food.  That counts.  Oh man, so what--what do you got--what do you got for me?  Your needs...oh your hunger's going away, you're low on energy, you are a drowsy little slob, Bill Clinton, but you do wanna gain a point in charisma so let's--oh, I can also--I ca--also I think a lot of people would like for me to move the mirror onto the inside of the house, so I've done that now, so isn't that nice?  Bill Clinton is late for work?  He's not late for work, he just left early.  You had a chance to advance science through dishwashing alone and you missed it.  Oh man.  Hey, uh, hey, Bill.  I think that if you look in this mirror, you can maybe practice a speech and you might gain a charisma point, I've hear--I--maybe?  I'm not sure.  Zabble-dab-so-tee. 

Jimmy's at work, not accomplishing all he could have accomplished today.  Are you gonna gain a point in charisma by talking to a mirror?  I think this is how you get charisma, it's how I do it.  I'm not sure what's happening, but there's a plus sign above his head, so that can't be bad.  Just keep talking, this thermometer's going up, this head thermometer you got, it's increasing in blue, that can't be bad. 

Seriously, though, looking at yourself in the mirror and talking is not a bad way, like there are a lot of fudged things in The Sims, but it's not a bad way to sort of get--get more comfortable with yourself, get more comfortable with your voice, um, Bill Clinton is very tired, but Jimmy Carter is doing much better because apparently he managed to eat at work.  The--okay, well you're gonna go to sleep, 'cause you're so tired.  Go to bed.  I click on that.  That's the thing to click. 

Jimmy Carter, how are you doing?  You are ex--you are dying of tired right now.  Bill, cuddle on bed, go cuddle with Bill.  Okay, go do that.  That wasn't cuddling!  That was--that was talking.

Hey!  I just improved a point, I did it!  Did I get the Simoleons?  Okay, stop, who cares, stop.  Yeah, go here.  Stop that.  That's a good song.  Uh, eat.  Grab a plate.  And next time, don't burn the waffles.  I don't understand why you can't cook wa--why were they even in the stove?  Waffles don't go in the stove.  That's nuts.  It just doesn't make any sense.  You're so sleepy.  You need a full night's sleep, man.  You need a--you need a full night's sleep.  Everybody needs a full night's sleep, and--but like, but now I can make--yeah, he's like, this is awful!  Serve dinner.  Mac and cheese.  Make some mac and cheese!  And then throw away this.  I wish I could do it for you.  Make enough mac and cheese for both you and Jimmy Carter.  Oh, now he's disgusted.  Bill's a vegetarian, which means he likes to prepare vegetarian alternatives to common meat-laden dishes.  Okay.  That's a thing I knew about Bill Clinton.  Sometimes he eats fish, but mostly not.  Look at this, look at this green thing above his head, I'm so proud.  This is not so great.  It's only been a day!  What happened with the food suddenly being completely rotten?  It's only been a day.  It takes a long time to cook macaroni and cheese.  Oh God, no!  He grasped the basics of cooking, he made brown macaroni and cheese?  Of horrifying quality.  I need to clean up and--oh man.  Try again.  Clean up, oh man, ah man, I am so embarrassed by you.  Let's see, is Jimmy doing okay?  Oh, you're feeling so much better, Jimmy.  Oh yeah, so much energy right now.  Clean that up as well, and then eat some of this awful macaroni and cheese you made.  I have to visit City Hall to complete the opportunity?  I did not realize this.  Well, I'm glad he--Bill is ready to jump into the frying pan of culinary--the culinary crafter, kitchen specialist, the deliverer of delicacies.  Eat this.  Eat this.  Eat it.  Grab a bowl.  It'll take a lot of time behind the stove and in front of the cookbook, but Bill will never be without company when everyone knows he can perfect their favorite foods.  Oh yeah, eat a bowl of that awful macaroni and cheese, it's gonna be so bad.  Oh yeah, it's brown, huh?  Of horrifying quality, but it's food, your hunger is decreasing.

Yeah, alright.  Good job.  Now, go to bed.  Sleep.  Full night.  And everything's gonna be great.  Alright, everybody, thank you for watching this episode, admittedly somewhat boring, of Hank Green plays the Sims 3, I'm Hank, this is The Sims 3, that's what the game is, this is games with hank, the YouTube channel.  Tomorrow, or, you know, next time this thing happens, Bill Clinton's gonna go to the City Hall and he's gonna--I'll tell you what, he's gonna get some Simoleons for his increased charisma.  I might also make them cuddle, 'cause I really wanted to this episode but I didn't get a chance.  Alright.  DFTBA.