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In which John discusses presents, sophistication, balls, and presidential politics. And sings.


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A Bunny
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Good morning, Hank. It's Thursday, March 1st; we're one sixth of the way done. Today's video comes in four parts. Part one: presents. Part two: sophistication. Part three: balls. Part four: presidential politics. Yeah, I said balls. Part one: presents. Hank, I want to thank you for completing the picture book project. It really kind of made my day and it felt like you were giving me a present. I feel like I haven't given you many presents during the making of this video blog and it makes me kind of sad, although it occurs to me that it's kind of a present when I physically hurt myself because, let's face it, brothers like to see that stuff. Plus, there's the small matter of Christmas 2000, when I bought you a DVD player for Christmas and you bought me two pairs of white tube socks. I feel like you're still making up for that. (John now has eight ecogeek business cards taped to his face.) Anyway, Hank, I want you to know that I'm definitely going to try harder to give you presents on this video blog in the future. Part two: sophistication. Hank, in the first two months of our video blog we've managed to mention most of the major bodily functions. Anyway, I've been thinking that we should increase the sophistication factor of Brotherhood 2.0. And that's why, today, I'm commencing a project to read James Joyce's entire Ulysses to you out loud thirty seconds at a time starting now. (Reading from Ulysses)"Stately, plum Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air." (Book down) Okay, that's boring. Part three: balls. Hank, your video on Monday where you had the gigantic blob of earwax removed from your ear got me to thinking a lot about the world's largest balls. What I'm thinking is this: if you work hard and stay committed, you could potentially accrue the world's largest ball of earwax by the end of 2007. Now, of course, it wouldn't just be your earwax. We would also have to get help from our viewers. They would send you their earwax and their friends would send you their earwax, and then finally you would mold it together and turn it into the world's largest ball of earwax.Believe me, Hank, this is practical. I'm a connoisseur of the world's largest balls. I've seen the world's largest ball of twine, I've seen the world's largest ball of paint, and I've seen the world's largest ball of stamps. And the world's largest ball of earwax is just out there, waiting to be sculpted. Part four: presidential politics. Hank, I have a question for you. Should Brotherhood 2.0 endorse a presidential candidate? If so, should we endorse a presidential candidate in the primary? I think the answers to these questions are yes, and yes. And Barack Obama. What do you think the answers are? (John has cards on face again) This feels kind of good actually. (singing) I'm being Hank for a day; I'm being Hank for a day. I live in Montana and rarely shower, I'm always blogging about solar power, oh, I'm being Hank for a day! Hey, Hank, something just occurred to me: did I never get you a wedding present? If so, please put the word myriad in your next video.