Hank: Hello and welcome to Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter, I’m a dog! And we’re in Aragog’s forest. The forbidden forest, looking for Aragog.

 

Katherine: Bad things are about to happen…for Ron.

 

H: Bad things are about to happen. And we need to make sure we bolt it up because we’re not true wizards yet.

 

K: Oh, man.

 

H: Hello, Aragog. Hopefully…

 

K: Trouble.

 

H: Hopefully there’s a lot of um…a lot of bolts coming up. Studs! No!

 

K: I need to ask you about these people.

 

H: I didn’t do that!

 

K: Did you kill these people?

 

H: Well you sure as heck better not come into my forest if you don’t think I’m gonna feed my children.

 

K: Ahhhhhhh!!!!! Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it!

 

H: Oh. I thought I was Harry, I thought I was Harry, I thought I was Harry, oh my god.

 

K: You are not Harry.

 

H: I am not Harry, oh my god there are so many! How do we stop them from coming? Ahhh, Aragog, you’re supposed to be nice!

 

K: No. No.

 

H: Well he said out of respect for Hagrid!

 

K: Hold Z to lift a spider, then press and hold z again to spin and throw it.

 

H: Uh…but I should probably have this enabled. Spin and throw it! There’s a student in peril over here.

 

K: Get it.

 

H: I got it.

 

K: No you didn’t. (???) Ahhhh, run away from the spider killing! Killing spider!

 

H: We have to get so many bolts!

 

K: We need…we need all of them if possible. Hm. If at all possible.

 

H: Oh, I got…I got webbed! Ah! Katherine I got webbed! I got webbed again! I died.

 

K: I don’t know if there was anything I could have done.

 

H: I don’t…I mean maybe you shoot me and I un-web? I get un-web.

 

K: Why...why aren’t you doing the thing you’re supposed to do? I’m trying to shoot you. Oh my god!

 

H: See, I’m pushing Z again!

 

K: Ahhhh! I’m Harry, right?

 

H: Yes, I’m Ron.

 

K: Just…just stop following me! You…duke!

 

H: You duke!

 

K: You…nooooooo! I died!

 

H: I’ll get all your bolts, I’ll get all your bolts, it’s okay. I feel as if we have not, uh, yet done any of the things we need to do.

 

K: I’m confused, yeah. Push it again. Just, push it…push it…what? How do you make them…ah, Z. Z? Z is that one.

 

H: Yes, Z. Z is that one.

 

K: Okay.

 

H: Ah, I got…oh, stop it! Stop…oh my god no! Well that went poorly.

 

K: Lift! Wingaaaaa…wingaaaa…winga. Wingaa…winga.

 

H: Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!

 

K: Spin it! AH!

 

H: Okay, I’m trying to guard…ah balls.

 

K: I don’t understand. Now press…oh, shoot I’m in a…no! No no no! Okay, we suck!

 

H: We do, I’m not even trying, I’m trying to like.

 

K: I don’t even know what to do! I’m stuck in a fricken’ thing.

 

H: Oh, man.

 

K: Oh, it got me again! Aragog, you are troublesome!

 

H: I don’t understand. Ahhhh!!

 

K: Okay, what…what is happening.

 

H: (Heavy breath) Okay.

 

K: (Heavy sigh and laugh)

 

H: So when we shoot the spiders…

 

K: Well, shoot them with what?

 

H: With a, just a shooty.

 

K: Yeah.

 

H: They die sometimes and sometimes they flip over. Or is the flippy just when you Wingardium them?

 

K: It says, hold Z…push Z and then hold…hold Z. Z was the only thing you were supposed to be doing.

 

H: Okay.

 

K: But maybe I’m not using the right spell?

 

H: Ughhhhh

 

K: Ah!

 

H: We are still not…

 

K: Ah, maybe it’s only a special one. Like, see there’s these blue ones?

 

H: Oh, yeah.

 

K: Yeah.

 

H: So yeah, the blue one you…can flip it over.

 

K: Okay, the other ones you have to kill.

 

H: But then I pick it up and I don’t know what I’m doing,

 

K: I don’t…I, yeah. I don’t know. Okay, nuts to you, nuts to you!! Oh, my god.

 

H: Oh yes. I have…I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

 

K: Well! This is supposed to be so, so extra good here.

 

H: What do I do?? Stupid spider!

 

K: Okay. Do it! Why won’t you do it? Good cripes!

 

H: I can pick him up but I don’t know what I’m doing with him! Okay. He’s on my…I’m picking him up now. Flipping him over. He’s flipping over. I seem to…something happened that time.

 

K: Yeah, I don’t…where are you supposed to…where is it supposed to go?

 

H: Aragog only has one heart. Or two hearts. So we’ve done something right.

 

K: Hm. Drop it on him. Yeah? Maybe you’re supposed to just drop it on him?

 

H: Well that didn’t work. I can’t move it once it’s in the air.

 

K: You can’t?

 

H: No, it takes it right there.

 

K: Then it spins!

 

H: Oh! God!

 

K: And then it throws it at him!

 

H: Okay. Two times. There are so many spiders. Thank you for saving me, I’m still stuck in this thing. So we need the blue spider.

 

K: That one.

 

H: I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know…I’m doing…Ball. Sack. Get me out of the thing, oh my god!

 

K: Oh, shoot. No! I’m dying! Goodbye.

 

H: I saved you. I saved you my little friend.

 

K: At the last second.

 

H: The last possible second.

 

K: Yes, indeed. It…aw, I wanted a heart.

 

H: Okay!

 

K: Yeah, get it! Ah, it’s like he throws stuff at it, and it…spin it!

 

H: Oh, god. What is happening? What is the sequence of buttons I should push?

 

K: Just Z. And then tap Z. Tap Z and then hold Z?

 

H: I’m tapping…oh jeez.

 

K: Oh jeez. Oh jeez, oh jeez!! Aw…what? That was fast.

 

H: It’s okay the…

 

K: It’s okay. Get it, get it!

 

H: Alright spider. Show him who’s boss. Lift up! Oh, why? I don’t understand why that was…that was what I would call bad game-play.

 

K: I think…yeah is like…

 

H: Sometimes they spin! You know?

 

K: Are the controllers not…I don’t know what’s happening

 

H: No, the uh…the controllers are fine.

 

K: Okay, now we have to escape…part.

 

H: Okay, we have to escape.

 

K: What were we going for?

 

H: We…yes. We are now like, nine minutes in. That went really badly.

 

K: Yeah.

 

H: Sorry everyone, that was boring.

 

K: That was frustrating for us as well.

 

H: Ford Anglia has its own…oh! And it has a…motorcycle.

 

K: Yes.

 

H: Which one am I, I’m Ron?

 

K: You’re in the car.

 

H: Okay.

 

K: I am in the motorcycle.

 

H: (Singing) Oh, my goodness gracious me, I am not excited about this.

 

K: Fricking run away. A lot. Better. Better than that. You have to drive…

 

H: One of five!

 

K: You have to drive better than that, honey. Push down.

 

H: I don’t…I cannot see! I am pushing down!

 

K: (Laughing) Hello!

 

H: Oh, I just ran right into you.

 

K: (Laughing) Hello! I fell over. I fell over. I fell over. Aragog killed me. I got two of five? Five what?

 

H: Two of five. Two of five somethings? Ah, Aragog got me. Aragog me. Oh come on, this can’t be over.

 

K: No, it’s not.

 

H: We are so close to true wizard.

 

K: It’s one part.

 

H: Okay.

 

K: Confused what that was…wheee!!

 

H: Three of five!

 

K: I’m ramping everything!

 

H: I’m trying to, uh, trying to hit as many walls as possible so that I can…oh! Stop eating me Aragog! Jeezul Crease!

 

K:  Jeezul Crease.

 

H: Jeezul...I think we…

 

K: Jeezula Crease!

 

H: Did we true wizard and I missed it?

 

K: Maybe? It looks very close. No, it’s not doing the thing.

 

H: It’s not doing the…I am upside down.

 

K: Yeah, a spider got you. No, maybe we did!

 

H: I got…I just knocked down…

 

K: There it is!!

 

H: There it is! True wizaarrrddds!

 

 

K: Yeah, sweet! Look out. Look out. Look out, Harry!

 

H: Oh, there’s a spider on my roof.

 

K: There’s a spider on everything. Oh my god, oh wow I just got…

 

H: This is imp…you cannot see anything.

 

K: Yeah, you cannot see anything.

 

H: And it’s split screen all the time.

 

K: Yeah, and this thing is impossible to control anyway. Hello! Hello, oh! Wow, why am I doing it? Uh…

 

H: Are you behind me?

 

K: Yeah, because you keep going so much farther ahead…

 

H: Well, I…I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying to slow down. Oh, there we are. Together is so much easier.

 

K: I’ve been, I’ve been…I’m being stomped by Aragog. Here we go, okay.

 

H: Arastomped!

 

K: Whoops!

 

H: I’m stuck on a pyramid.

 

K: Huh? Ooh, I found a…

 

H: Five of five! I can’t believe we managed to hit anything on purpose.

 

K: Yup. We did it.

 

H: Ah, stop stomping me Aragog! I would not call any of what we’ve done purposeful.

 

K: (Laughing) On purpose! It was all just an accident. This has just been a misunderstanding!

 

H: Go! Go car! Go! It’s all just a giant misunderstanding, I’m so sorry mister spider man! I did not mean to upset you or your children!

 

K: Woo-hoooo!!

 

H: Oh my god. More? More?

 

K: We continue going.

 

H: We continue going?

 

K: Yes.

 

H: I am on my butt in the…

 

K: We are almost there…there’s a spider on you.

 

H: Yes of course…there’s always a spider on me. I can’t believe you got the motorcycle, that looks fun. We are here! We are back! That scooter is awesome!

 

K: The scooter is a friend of the Ford Anglia apparently.

 

H: They’re buds. There was a giant pumpkin on my head and now it looks like I have a little pumpkin on my head.

 

K: Yeah. It looks like a pumpkin. Whoa! What’s up with your mouth?

 

H: What’s up with your face, man?

 

K: Why does her mouth look so weird?

 

H: Hermione! What is wrong with your face?

 

Both: (Mimicking characters) Hmmm

 

H: Basilisk?

 

K: Hmm. Well, friends.

 

H: Thank you for watching this episode of Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4.

 

K: We…stunk it up as usual.

 

H: (Laughs). That was pretty stinky.

 

K: Do not…do not judge us.

 

H: Yes. Do not judge us.

 

K: For that. Uh, we tried our best.

 

H: Um…

 

K: At least we got the true wizardmanship.

 

H: Yes. True wizardmanship. You will not see us, we will not see you.

 

K: It’s true, but you will hear us next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4.

 

Both: Goodbye!