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Duration:10:25
Uploaded:2011-03-29
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I recorded this before I did the guide episode, so that's why I'm not quite certain what I'm doing. I blow through some pretty dang complicated test chambers in this episode...I hope those of you who are confused aren't too confused, and those of you who are portal masters won't be too frustrated by my incompetence
Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. We are now in portal chamber 13.

(0:07) We haven't faced anything really deadly yet. (GLaDOS: ...feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline) Okay. Peptic salves and adrenaline. Sounds good.

(0:38) What do I need to do here? To get that thing in that thing. Okay. Go on through, come on down. Excellent. You're moving now. Oof, almost missed that. Hello, why can't I get off of this? Why can't I stop this crazy thing? Where am I going now?

(1:11) Yeah, first try! Where's the other thing? Other, gotta be another one somewhere. Aha, there doesn't have to be another one, because I am so smart!

(1:28) (GLaDOS: As part of the previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.) That's not true GLaDOS! (GLaDOS: When the testing is over you will be missed.) You will be dead. 

(1:42) Aperture Science. We do what we must, because we can. For the sake of all of us, except the ones who are dead. Now there's no use crying over - portal chamber number 14

(2:02) We've got the cube on your head, the energy ball in the face, the boiling sulfuric acid of death, do not drink the water and you must fly like a crazy man in this chamber.

(2:35) We do what we must because we can. Did you see how I already knew how to do that? That's because I've done this before, how odd. Oh look, they put stairs here for me. How nice of them. Faster man, faster. 

(2:55) Alright, I opened the portal door. There's a thing here - I need the thing to come out there. That is blue and I need the yellow on the other side. So remember Hank, yellow, orange, whatever color that is. Do not hit the blue. 

(3:22) Oh geez, oh geez, right, right. Oh, so the acid, oh the acid of death. Good, next. Orange. Phew. I was worried for a second there that that was not gonna (GLaDOS: Very very good.) Very very good. Thank you GLaDOS, I'm so glad that you're proud of me. I'm a little bit proud of you for being so very creepy.

(3:59) Alright. Alrighty righty. Four minutes into this episode and I have, I have done I think I've done two chambers already, so that's good time. And I'm back in the sparkly elevator, and I'm loading. 

(4:15) So I don't know what else is going on, besides my apprehension for Portal 2, but, you know.

(4:27) Where'd it go? Okay, I have to get through that somehow. Ah, I see. Nope. Yeah! I am the master of awesome!

(5:05) What is this? What is that? What is this? What is that? So many things. So many things. Can I walk through this? No I can't! That disrupts my portal. I don't know - what the frick? How do I fix that problem? I'm confused. So I do this, and then I do this. 

(5:39) Ah, balls. Oh, I did. It got through. Um, well at least I've got the mark on the wall now. So is that going to work? Yes! I'm so good at games!

(5:59) Die! (GLaDOS: Vital testing apparatus destroyed) Yeah, vital testing apparatus destroyed. That's because that's what I do. I'm a vital testing apparatus destroyer. Fall! Okay, anyway. I am not a big fan of your vital testing apparatus. I did not sign up for this! Can I make that any more clear? I did not sign up for this. 

(6:31) Not going to make that. So I need the blue one and I need to do it here. Blue one! Oh, I see, I see, I see, that is hard. I need another blue one to go there, before I land. Okay, here I come. Yeah! I'm good at this game!

(7:00) Where am I? This is hard. This - oh my God, this is a long level! Okay, we'll try and finish this in less then ten minutes, but I am not convinced. Okay. Should I step on this? It is not moving. It is not currently moving, okay. So I have to go through that. No. Okay. I am at least there.

(7:40) Does that get me what I need? Yes! Yes! Yes, yes yes. How do I get back over this wall? Like that, that's exactly how I get back over. 

(8:00) Okay. Oh my God, I can't believe I did that so well. Geez. I was freaking out that whole time. Oh my God, how long is this level? Okay. Alright. Does this take me upstairs? Going upstairs on this little elevator thing. This is a long, long level.

(8:40) Okay. That, where do you hit the ground? You hit the ground there. And then this - what does this do? It times something. Ohhhh! Not good! Please do not make me do that all over again.

(9:09) Oh good. Phew. Alright, well, next time I will not do the thing where I kill myself. So that opens one door and that opens the other door. You gonna get through? Ohhhh, yes! Yes! That was freaking awesome! (laughing) That was close, that was close. Sorry if that was loud, everybody, but man, that was exciting. I was pretty sure I was not going to get that, and I did! That was pure luck, I didn't even know what I was doing! Man!

(9:58) Thank you for watching this episode of Hank Green plays Portal. I am feeling amazing right now so I hope that you enjoyed it. Next time you won't see me and I won't see you, but you will hear me because that is what I do. I talk into this microphone and play video games. Alright, thank you, and goodbye.