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In which Hank discusses tiny chicken disease, business cards and punishments.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good afternoon, John. It is Thursday, January 11th. (sneezes twice)

So I was just watching my video from January 9th. I'm paying the price for not being commensurate with my values. At some point, while in Detroit, I met a really — like a tiny chicken. I don't actually remember this tiny chicken but I'm almost positive that we had an encounter, because this tiny chicken has laid tiny eggs in my head. One here. One here. One here and one here.


Those tiny eggs are growing and hatching, and the baby tiny chickens are feeding on my brain. They do everything that baby chickens do. They're cute, they're fuzzy. They poop, and they eat. They're eating my brain and their poop is coming out my nose. Fucking tiny chicken!

Tell me if you seen junk coming out of my nose, because it'd be really embarrassing to have that caught on video blog. No, it's still there! Ahh, there we go. Ha ha! (sniffle) No junk. No junk coming out of my nose. No. I think that we should suggest some more punishments so that we can choose between punishments.

Also, we can have people suggest punishments. So far all we have is the 500 Miles punishment, which I'd be totally okay with doing. Honestly, I think it'd be fun.

So, punishments that I am suggesting today: Grow your facial hair for one full week and then wax your chin. Also, there's the Stick A Needle In My Eye provision. Third on my list of punishments that I'm suggesting for today: Give yourself a mohawk. I kind of always wanted to give myself a mohawk, and I'd really like an excuse.

I've got a little bit of a problem, and I was hoping that you or maybe one of our viewers could help me out. I was going to Detroit, right, so I figured I'd have a bunch of business cards printed up. I used an online service, and I uploaded my files, and they sent me a bunch of business cards. I like that. I like, it's like a nice, sturdy card stock. And on the back, it's supposed to be like this one, which I got printed up at Kinko's. But this one, on the back, says this. And on the front, says this.

What am I supposed to do with this? Okay, it's one thing to have one that does that... What about this many? This many, that are the same on all the sides. What am I supposed to do with it? John, viewers: What do I do with 100 three inch by one-and-a-half inch cards that say 'ecogeek' on them? So far my only idea is to tape them all over my face.

(sings) 'I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more'

See, this is — this is to me not a punishment. I— I don't know. To me, it's not a punishment. We sh— we need to come up with better punishments, is what I'm saying.