(PBS Digital Studios intro plays)

Victoria: Is this really necessary?

Iggy: Before he went under, I promised Kenneth that I'd give him a proper Viking funeral.

Victoria: It's medically impossible to get frostbite inside your brain, but if it wasn't-

Iggy: Kenneth!  You were a mighty warrior, and a good friend.  And I shall see you one day on the Killing Fields of Valhalla, where we will share a frothy jug of mead and tell tales of our greatest feats in battle.  Farewell, my friend.  Alright, well, it really kills the vibe if it doesn't actually light on fire.  

Victoria: Obviously, we need to keep him for further study.  As everyone's about to see, he was successfully revived from a cryopreserved state.  He's maybe the most important rat in history.

Iggy: Except the--the rat who started the black plague.  

Victoria: That was more than one rat!

[intro plays]

Victoria: All of our attempts to perfect and fine tune the thawing process have led us to this moment. We have successfully frozen and now revived our lab rat, Kenneth.

Iggy: Alright, I'm on my way . . . I'm almost there, sorry. It's just this, this limp. Ow! 

Victoria: Hey, how is that limp? I barely noticed it.

Iggy: I am prepared to sacrifice my body for the good of science. You know Michael Faraday once poisoned himself with mercury vapor for years perfecting electromagnetic rotation.

Victoria: The evidence that Faraday actually suffered mercury poisoning is entirely circumstantial.

Iggy: Can you just let me have this one thing?

Victoria: Okay.

Waldman: Where is he? Where's our Kenneth? I don't believe it. You really did it? I don't believe it! He's back and he really seems like himself.

Victoria: Now that Kenneth has revived, our first task is to determine if the thawing procedure has had any impact on his brain's ability to process information.

Iggy: Yeah and if we're ever going to do this to a bigger, smarter mammal we're gonna have to make sure they don't come back brain dead or crazy or something.

Waldman: Bigger mammal? You have something in mind?

Iggy: Uhh, yeah, like, you know, pig or cow or frog.

Waldman: That's an amphibian.

Victoria: The point Iggy's making is that if we're going to consider cryopreservation as a viable procedure, we need to consider its impact on basic cerebral functions.

Waldman: I see.

Victoria: So what we've designed are some straightforward rat intelligence tests. In this first area, Kenneth will have to slide this lid over a few inches in order to reach a treat hidden below. 

Iggy: And to reach the next treat, Kenneth will have to figure out how to climb a ladder and cross a bridge.

Victoria: If Kenneth pushes this lever, nothing happens. If he pushes this lever, it will dispense a treat. Will he figure out which lever to keep hitting for his reward?

Iggy: Find out in the next thrilling chapter of Frankenstein, M.D.!

Victoria: Kenneth successfully completed all three of these tasks before he was frozen. 

Iggy: Yeah! Ken rules!

Victoria: Probably just getting his bearings.

Waldman: Did he hesitate like this the first time you ran the test?

Victoria: Uhh, I'd have to go back and review my notes to be sure.

Iggy: Alright, Kenneth, two, and, um, anti-Kenneth, zero.

Victoria: Three for three! I think we can officially declare the thawing process a success.

Iggy: Okay, so we're placing Kenneth in with some of the other lab rats hoping to see if the process has had any impact on his personality or ability to socialize.

Waldman: So, about these other mammals . . .

Victoria: Um, I can put together a detailed proposal for you outlining potential next steps.

Waldman: I think you have something in mind already, so please stop stalling.

Victoria: I want to be sure my findings are presented in the best possible way.

Waldman: Dr. Frankenstein, need I remind you this is my lab. I need to know what you're up to. NOW.

Iggy: Hey, uh, Victoria. I, uh, I think you should tell him. It's time.

Victoria: I believe I have perfected a process that we can use to restore life to Robert's body. And I want to use your lab to do it with Iggy as my assistant.

Waldman: My God.

Iggy: Assistant?!

Waldman:  Robert is dead. Your mother is dead. You can't help them.

Victoria: Yes, I can.

Waldman: What you're describing is not only unethical, it is impractical.

Victoria: You've seen the evidence yourself.

Waldman: What evidence? Some 3D printed bone? A thawed cow's eye? Your assistant losing two toes?

Iggy: Assistant?!

Victoria: Robert's brain is intact. We can rebuild his bones and we can regrow his skin and just now, I've demonstrated that we can-we can thaw him without causing any brain damage. I don't need your help, I just need you to look the other way.

Waldman: What about Robert's body? The school knows it's here.

Victoria: You'll say that you had no use for it, you had him cremated. No questions asked.

Waldman: There's a paper trail there. We could easily be discovered.

Victoria: If I'm wrong and it doesn't work, we really will cremate him. No one will ever know.

Waldman: You know, I'm more concerned by the alternative. What if you succeed?

Iggy: Then we'd have to figure out who gets to keep the Nobel Prize at their house.

Victoria:Actually, every recipient of the Nobel Prize gets their own gold medal to keep.

Iggy: Okay, can I just have this one thing?

Waldman: I need to think about this.

Victoria: Of course. Thank you, Dr. Waldman.

Waldman: No-- don't thank me! I haven't agreed to anything yet! And don't tell anyone else about this.

Iggy: I think he forgot that we film everything.

Victoria: He's on board. Guaranteed. It's just a lot to take in.

[rats squeaking]

Victoria: Kenneth!

Iggy: What's he doing?

Victoria: He's not "doing" anything-- they're attacking him!

Iggy: Well, get him out of there!

Victoria: (tries to get him out but is bit) Ouch!
(cut forward a few minutes)

I guess it's time for another lab rat funeral.

Iggy: Yeah. . .

Hey, do you have any idea where I could buy, like, tiny miniature arrows? Like, just hypothetically. Like...