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Last sync:2023-11-02 04:00
In which John answers real questions from real nerdfighters about puppies, ferrets, dancing, the casting of the movie adaptation of The Fault in Our Stars, the ducks in the pond, and many other things.
Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday. It's Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters. Let's get right to it. What's your least favorite kind of animal? Mice, who lord over theme parks. What's your favorite dance move? This one: you take this guy up and then, oh! You're dancin'! I'm dancin'! [crash] Ow. I want to apologize to my printer. Why does everyone like ferrets so much? I don't know who you're hanging out with, but that is not an issue in my house. What's your favorite photograph? This one, called "Young Farmers," also sometimes known as "Three Farmers on Their Way to a Dance, August 1914." There were two dances that they were on their way to, of course, the one they knew about, and World War I. How's Willie? He's good. Here, you can watch him for the next several questions. TFiOS casting?! Yes, Ansel Elgort has been cast as Augustus Waters, and Hazel Grace Lancaster will be played by Shailene Woodley. But I am a giant squid of anger about this! Yeah, that's not a question, but I am grateful that you are passionate about the book and want it to be a good movie, but you have to understand: I also want it to be a good movie, and I've actually seen the auditions, and you aren't going to think, "Oh, that's Shailene Woodley, or oh, that's the guy who plays Caleb Prior in Divergent. You're just going to think, "Oh, that's Hazel and Gus." How much say do you actually have in casting? A surprising amount. I mean, I'm definitely not casting the movie, but the producers and the director have been really, really nice about including me in everything. What'd you think of the Gatsby movie? Myeehhhh... Hey, what would you do if you were invisible for an hour? I would go to the emergency room. I mean, I'm pretty hypochondriacal, but I assume that anyone who suddenly became invisible would proceed with some haste to the nearest health care provider, and be like, "Why am I invisible? I Googled it, but there is nothing in the medical literature. Perhaps we should do a CAT scan." How many times a day do you check your cell phone? ...I'm sorry, what's that? Are you good at multitasking? Studies consistently show that the better people think are at multitasking, the worse they actually are. And I am great at it. How's it feel to be a doctor? Not the same as it felt before, actually. Did they let you keep your cape thing? Did they?! I've hardly taken it off! By the way, it is technically known as a "cape thing." Would you rather fight a rabid badger or Nicolas Cage? Well, I'm going to have to know more about the badger. Is it a regular badger or a honey badger? Is it, like, a baby badger? If it's a regular, baby badger, I'm gonna take the rabid badger. Otherwise, definitely Nic Cage. If you could only recommend one book to Nerdfighteria, what would it be? Well, that changes weekly. At the moment, my recommendation for zombie novels is The End Games by T. Michael Martin. For non-zombie novels, I'm gonna recommend How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia. If I were to gift you a Pegasus, what color would you like it to be? Listen, that's very nice of you, but I do not want a Pegasus. First, there's the fact that I don't have a barn in which to house a Pegasus. Also, there's the not insignificant cost of hay. Plus, I've always found flying pets to be kind of more trouble than they're worth. Hey, where do the ducks go when the pond freezes over? They migrate south, except in the actual case of Holden Caulfield, wondering what happens to the ducks in the Central Park pond. They do not migrate south because the pond never freezes over. As the official photographer for Central Park put it, "I don't know what Salinger was thinking. I've worked at the Park for 27 years, and I've always seen ducks in the winter." Have you ever been tempted to get Nerdfighters to tame honey badgers so you could have a Broadway musical starring honey badgers? Yeah, I can see the headline now: "Man Convinces Children to Tame Honey Badgers for Strange Broadway Musical. Seven Dead, Including No Honey Badgers." Hank, DFTBA. I will see you on Friday.