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Duration:12:02
Uploaded:2016-08-05
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Hank Green delivers a fake TED Talk and performs 2 songs at w00tstock 8.0.

Filmed on July 21, 2016 at the Balboa Theater in San Diego by UAT Digital Video Professor Paul DeNigris and students Brett Chapman and Killian Davies.

Editing for this w00tstock series by Prof. DeNigris and students Andrew Aguirre, Alex Beaver, Trevor Jones, and Patrick Kebert.

Special Thanks to our Indiegogo backers for making our w00tstock 8.0 coverage possible!

Shake Koulloukian
Casey A. Hoefer
Reggie Riley
Francois Besnier
Paul Osborne
Tracey Shrier
David Chuhay
Logan K.
Ana Leguillou
Ryan Stephens
Brian L. Tan
Susan Steakhouse
Bill Harting
Shane Barnett
Killian Davies
Gwyneth Christoffel
Keegan Ead
Announcer: Please welcome to TEDW00t, Hank Green.

Hank: Hello, fellow humans. I'm here to tell you about an idea whose time has come. I'm a little worried that that was grammatically incorrect. 'Cause I've always been told that "whose" is in reference just to people and that that is what we use to talk about ideas with, have you heard that? 'Cause people always yell at me, they're like... When I say "that" in reference to a person, they're like, "You're dehumanizing that person by calling them a that" and I'm like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm bad at the internet. I'll get better". That's what it's all about, get better every day.

So I'm a little worried about this, but I know that actually this quote, "There's nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come", that was Victor Hugo, and he probably knows more about grammar than me. Also, than all those people on the internet. He's Victor Hugo. And also, like, grammar isn't a system through which we should judge each other, that's not why it exists. Grammar exists for clarity, and actually using grammar as a way to say that one person is better than another person because of the way or not that they speak, but the way that they are, and the way that they were raised, that's destructive! So shut up, little head brain thing! It's an idea whose time has come. That's not confusing! Grammar is for clarity! No one's confused when I say an idea whose time has come, you're not thinking, "Oh, he said who, an idea, that must be the name of a person". Like, like, nothing is as powerful as a Brian whose time has come. And I'm not saying that Brian isn't powerful, and I'm glad that his time has come, but probably there are some things more powerful than a Brian whose time has come.

Maybe you think, "Hey, you're saying, you're saying an idea as if it's a whole group of people, like, it would be the equivalent of saying there's nothing as powerful as a nerd whose time has come", and I'm here to tell you that there aren't very many things as powerful as a nerd whose time has come, and maybe we're here right now at Comic-Con, feeling that now is the time, the time for nerds has come.

But that's not what you think I mean when I say "there's nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come". Wait a second. Who can be used in reference to a person, but also to an animate, living thing, like a dog, you can call a dog "who", that's okay grammatically, fine. Maybe what Victor Hugo is saying is that ideas are living things, and I don't think that we can say that they definitely aren't. What's the definition of a living thing? It consumes energy. This series of ideas that I'm spewing at you right now, these useless ideas, they're consuming my cognitive energy and yours, they're replicating, another condition of life, they're in your head now. They're moving around. This is what Victor Hugo is saying, "there's nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come", it's not the people. It's not the people who have the ideas, the people who implement the ideas, it's the idea itself, they are controlling us, they're in our heads, these ideas whose time have come, we can do nothing about them. They get into us and they feed off of our brainspace and they make us do things that we wouldn't otherwise do, these ideas whose time have come.

So I'm here to tell you about an idea... Maybe I should just say an idea that's time has come. That sounds dumb. I'm not gonna do that. So an idea whose ti... Now I don't like the whose anymore, it scares me now, 'cause it makes me think that there's this thing inside of my head eating me like a little dog, little dog in there that's controlling my whole body. Maybe it's a small reptile whose time has come. No, let's just say instead, because I can see by my clock here that I've talked for a long time and I haven't. Oh gosh. Well, I should move on, so let's say instead maybe now I wanna talk to you about an idea for which the opportune moment for acceptance and implementation has arrived.

Grammar is about clarity, you guys, and what is the idea? Did we get there? After five minutes of me talking about grammar and being confused about ideas eating my brain? Human skin. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "Hank, I don't mean to criticize, human skin's been around for a while, I feel like it's not, like, super revolutionary", but that's the thing about Victor Hugo's quote, he doesn't say when it arrived, he just said it has come. Now that could be now, off into the infinity of the past. So yes, the time for human skin has arrived, it just arrived 200,000 years ago or so, not with the invention of skin so much as the invention of humans. The idea for human skin has come. Now, you might be thinking another thing, "Hank, not technically an idea? But, hey, what's the difference between the physical thing itself and the idea of the thing?" Just that the thing exists, but that doesn't mean that the idea of the thing doesn't exist. The idea is still there, and let me propose to you this: If we lived in a world where that physical thing, that human skin, did not exist, would there be a better idea, an idea whose time was more ripe for implementation than the idea of human skin!? Right? So I wanna sing you a song.

"Here's an idea whose time has come
A substance built for outdoor fun
Without which your life could not go on.
And with it we communicate,
And feel sensations when we mate,
Only a Bolton would ever want it gone.

It's your body's largest organ
The unsung hero of your immune system,
It's absolutely free, and it has simple operation.
Self-lubricating, perspirating, and absolutely fascinating,
On your head, ankles, and elbows, knees, scrotum, and chin.

Human skin.
Human skin.
Living cells marching to death, 
leave behind their keratin,
Human skin.
Human skin.
A multi-layered miracle that keeps your insides in.
Human skin."

I'm gonna do one more song for you, because a friend of mine is dearly missed who is not here for a legitimate reason, but I wrote a song about this ensign aboard a starship, and I wanna sing it for you. Raise your hand if you've been playing Pokémon while this has been happening. It's a pretty good Pokémon spot. Raise your hand if you've been checking in on the convention. Hit that guy.

Stardate 42695.3 was a pretty big day for me
I was given my first command
But it turned out to be more difficult than I planned.
So I went to Riker and said what if I fail?
What if I freeze up with a Borg on our tail?
What if the choice I make is wrong?
And Riker said to me, Wesley, gimme a break,
It's arrogant to think you'll never make a mistake,
But when you're in that position,
You only have to ask yourself one question.

You ask, what would Captain Picard do?
Yeah, what would Captain Picard do?
He'd ensure the safety of his ship and his crew,
And then complete the mission,
And he'd make himself a better person.
He'd bring peace to the galaxy,
And he'd do it for free,
Oh, yeah, that's what Captain Picard would do.

Well, I just woke up after three centuries,
And my first thought was of money,
Not that my family was gone.
But this bald guy in a jumpsuit said to me
That they'd abolished currency,
Everything I'd worked for was gone.
Yeah, there was nothing to withdraw.
So I said to him, what do you invest in,
If you don't have big corporations?
He said we invest in ourselves.
And maybe I should try that out for myself.

'Cause that's what Captain Picard would do,
Yeah, that's what Captain Picard would do.
He'd ensure the safety of his ship and his crew,
And then complete the mission,
And he'd make himself a better person.
He'd bring peace to the Federation
And earn the Klingon's admiration,
Oh, yeah, that's what Captain Picard would do.

Oh, remember when he told us 
To remove the saucer section,
Even though we were at warp nine,
There was no objection,
And yeah we could have killed the Borg 
Using Hugh
But we agreed with the Captain,
It was the wrong thing to do
And I'd rather follow Dixon Hill, private detective
Than observe some outmoded and obscure Prime Directive,
And even after he was tortured for 40 days and night,
He told that Cardassian that there were four lights.
Oh, yeah, when you're confused and the choice seems too hard,
Just think of Captain Picard!

Thank you all. You're... This is wonderful.