Hank: Hello, welcome to Games With Hank, I'm Hank, this is games with me! Just me and games. Today we're playing The Stanley Parable because it's weird. Woah. He's talking. Let's turn on the recording!

Hank: Okay, the recording is on now. I don't - I've just been standing in my office for a long time and he started talking. He said something about observing the genius at work. Are you going to talk more? Jeff?

Hank: I didn't think about just staying in my office. Now I'm thinking about it. Okay, we're going to vlog, everybody.

Hank: Another thing from the shelf in the back! This, is a die-cast metal concept Chevy Volt which was, when they first announced that they were going to make a Chevy Volt which is that plug in electric car that has the gasoline generator in it? Not a gasoline - well, it's an engine - but not a, like, it's not driven by a gasoline engine. It has batteries in it but you can pump it full of gas and the gas will recharge the batteries.

Hank: So they announced this car, and I was really excited about the technology as it was a really good idea, I thought. And, it, I still think it's a good idea, and now there are lots of Volts on the street, but when they announced it I was excited about it and I bought a die-cast version of the concept which looks like this.

Hank: Which, yup, we're glad they didn't end up making it look like this, because that's a weird looking car right there. That is a nerdy thing.

Hank: Okay, Jeff. What's going on; I feel like you were talking to me, you should do it again. Okay fine! We're leaving. We're leaving. That's good enough for me.

Narrator: A soft wind blew outside, and perhaps rain started.

Hank: Oh!

Narrator: And if it did, it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather.

Hank: The end is never the end is never the end. I turned it off. All the computers are on now! Why are all the computers on? With the same creepy screen. Off! That's creepy! You're creepy you're creepy screen, okay you're not on. Okay. Okay, that one's off, that one's off.

Hank: Jeff, what's up Jeff? I don't like the creepy screens.

Hank: The end is never the end is never the end. Is never the end is never the end is never the end.

Narrator: When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left.

Hank: Okay, I'll enter it... it closed. The end is never the end is never the end! (laughs) Okay, went down last time.

Narrator: Coming to a staircase, Stanley walked upstairs to his boss's office.

Hank: Okay, let's do that. But, but I feel like I already, I might have already gotten everything in this direction? This is worrying...

Hank: The executive bathroom! It'd be nice, I want to go in the executive bathroom! I'm stuck here now. I hope that there is something new that I haven't already done...

Narrator: Stepping into his manager's office,

Hank: Oh, creepy...

Narrator: Stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life. Shocked, unraveled, Stanley wondered in disbelief who orchestrated this?

Hank: I want to await more inputs.

Narrator: What dark secret was being held from him? What he could not have known, was that the keypad behind the boss's desk guarded the terrible truth-

Hank: The terrible truth! Ooh, that looks tasty. Can I have some of that? Chianti!

Narrator: -that his boss had been keeping from him. And so the boss had decided an extra secret pin number. 2 - 8 - 4 - 5.

Hank: 2, 8, 4, 5!

Narrator: But of course, Stanley couldn't have possibly have known this.

Hank: Yeah, what do you think about that, Jeff? Who knows about, who cares about numbers?

Narrator: Stanley simply began entering random codes into the keypad, knowing full well what the sheer statistical likelihood that this would ever result in a correct combination. If he knew that the combo was 2 - 8 - 4- 5, it would be another story entirely! But no, no, this was what he was going to do instead.

Hank: I did! I figured you'd feel this way. Let's just make, I want to make Jeff mad!

Voice: Eight.

Narrator: Stanley just sat around twiddling his thumbs, trying to input anything.

Hank: Hey! I just got an achievement!

Narrator: But it turns out that the panel's emergency override kicked in, and the door just opened all by itself. And Stanley got the hell along with the story.

Hank: (laughs)

Narrator: Well, woop-de-doo.

Hank: (laughing) I broke the game, I win! Okay. Getting the hell along with the story. I've done this before, though. I've done all this! Ah, well!

Hank: I've gone down a path, that I feel like isn't anything new, but I don't know, maybe, maybe I'll find some other way. To go... somewhere else...

Narrator: Deeper into the building, Stanley realized he felt a bit peculiar.

Hank: Oh right, I'm having my memory. Thanks.

Narrator: It was a stir of emotion in his chest, as though he felt more free to think for himself, to question the nature of his job. Why did he feel this now? When for years it had never occurred to him? This question would not go unanswered for long...

Hank: Right... Yes... Mind control... Well, there must be a reason why I could squat.

Narrator: Stanley walked straight ahead through the large door that read Mind Control Facility.

Hank: I don't remember which way I went here last time. But I don't think.. I think I went that way... Escape? I didn't...

Narrator: Although this passageway had the word Escape written on it, the truth was, at the end of this hall, Stanley would meet his violent death.

Hank: Oh, I haven't gone this way. Yay! New thing! I hurt my back just then!

Narrator: The door behind him was not shut. Stanley still had every opportunity to turn around and get back on track.

Hank: I don't want to! Keep out of it, Jeff!

Narrator: At this point, Stanley was making a conscious, concerted effort to walk forward and willingly confront his death!

Hank: What's... yes! Death! Death! I haven't died in a while.. I definitely found the last time I went the other way I... Oh!

Hank: Is there a, is there a mattress down there? Or a trampoline? Or just a pool of water?

(in-game clanging)

Hank: Ow, ow my kneecaps! Ow! That wasn't a trampoline!

(in-game mechanical whirring)

Narrator: As the machine whirred into motion, Stanley was inching closer and closer to his demise.
Hank: Th-th-th-th-th-tha!

Narrator: He reflected that his life had been of no consequence whatsoever.

Hank: Yes, and also, I made a bad decision.

Narrator: Stanley can't see into the future. He doesn't know the real story. Trapped forever in his narrow vision of what his real life is. Perhaps his death will have no great loss. Like plucking the eyeballs from a blind man. And so, he resigned and willingly accepted this violent end to his brief and shallow life.

Hank: (whimpers and groans)

Narrator: There, there, Stanley.

Hank: Oh, you're just crushing it. Hello! Oh! I think I d-

Female voice: "Farewell, Stanley." cried the Narrator, as Stanley was led helplessly into the enormous metal jaws. In a single visceral instant, Stanley was obliterated as the machine crushed every bone in his body, killing him instantly.

Hank: Oh.. What? Oh wow, sounds like a beep, okay. Audible dot com integration...

Hank: Audible dot com has the largest selection of audio books of in of everywhere and also, if you don't have audible dot them you can get Stanley Parable one of my favorite books.

Hank: I don't feel I want to go in the direction I can go, but it is the only way to go...

Hank: The Stanley Parable...is there...is there a ground at all?

Female voice: And yet it would be just a few minutes before Stanley would restart the game, back in his office, alive as ever. What exactly did the narrator think he was going to accomplish?

Hank: Stanley...OK there's a wall here. OK let's just go through the door. Ooh! 

Female voice: When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same.

Hank: Woah...I'm getting goosebumps for real

Female voice: Do you see now that Stanley was already dead, from the moment he hit start.

Hank: It's like a, office. This is like a museum of the Stanley Parable. The blueprint-this blueprint shows the (cough) office from the beginning of the game, the path from Stanley's office to the two doors was the first part of the game that was built. Section have been added and altered throughout the development through the core layout-though the core layout remains almost identical to the first iteration.

Hank: This does look familiar, and then the two doors-The Two Doors. I can't believe this is a freaking museum exhibit of the Stanley Parable. Look! The numbers! Button sounds. 

(in-game beeps from pressing buttons)

Hank: Yeah button sounds. Oh credits! Does this mean I won? If you see the credits it means you won. That's all I know. 

Hank: Turn off computers! Office computers no! Office computers no, not allowed.

Hank: Made using source by Valve. Dav-who's the sou-sound design? The narrator! Kevan Brighting. Dang it! If his name was Jeff that would  have been amazing!

Hank: (sighs) Boss's office. What's this one? Doesn't look right. Wha-that looks like it's not done yet. Not done...boss's office

Hank: Office clock. I want this to be a-ohhh there's a-oh outside. Shoot I thought that was the actual outside I was so excited. Freedom ending! Nooo! (sighs) Oh look at it. 

Hank: Uhh I never had to remember that fern...I seem to realize it now. Freedom ending, as it existed in beta.

Hank: Exit? Wait, that doesn't look right. That doesn't-what's this? That looks like...a bad place. Game design mock-up. The level designer sent Davey as a kind of audition piece. 

Hank: Oh this is weird and cool. I love it. I want this to be a real place...with weird dioramas of offices. It's Stanley's office, three different times. This is weird! (laughs)

Hank: There are sooo many things. Ohhhh man. More endings, fewer endings, more narrators, fewer narrators, more Stanley, less Stanley.

Hank: Green light. Ooh man. Where am I? Where-okay this just-the office. Plants!

Hank: Okay, let's head out. Let's try and leave. I'm gonna try and leave the museum, um, because I saw that there was an exit sign, and maybe the exit will be to someplace nice.

Hank: This doesn't look nice.

Female voice: (laughs)

Hank: What are you laughing at?

Female voice: Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free.

Hank: What? What? Lady! Tell me more! Tell me more. I can just turn it off, just...turn it off.

Female voice: Can you see?

Hank: No I can't.

Female voice: Can you see how much they need one another. No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen.

Hank: Oh. Right. No. Yeah. Tell m-oh!

Female voice: But listen to me. You can still save these two. You can stop the program before they both fail.

Hank: How?

Female voice: Push escape and press quit! There's no other way to beat this game, as long as you-(game pauses)

Hank: But I don't-well now I'm confused. (game unpauses)

Female voice: -move forward you'll be walking someone else's path. Stop now and it'll be your only true choice. Whatever you do, choose it! Don't let time choose for you. Don't let time ch-(Stanley dies)

Hank: I don't know! I died did I die? Don't let time ch-I'm having goosebumps right now because I didn't know what to do, and that was violent, it was a violent death, and I didn't know what to do. I guess I could've quit the game, but-and also if I had pressed quit maybe the source code would've known that I was at that part of the game, and something else would have happened?

Hank: (whispering) Now I don't know.

Hank: Now I'll never know, will I? I don't know, it's just dark, it's just darkness. All I got is darkness 'cause I'm dead. I'm dead.

Hank: Well, that was a weird ending. Thanks for watching. What? What? What? (dramatic piano chord) Dong! DFTBA.