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This video is a collection of terms that aren't all sexual but are helpful to understand to have conversations about sexuality. Please share in the comments other words and definitions you think are helpful to learn.

Also, please check out for a LONG list of texting terminology and for more on grapefruiting.

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I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and host of this sex-curious show Sexplanations.  Today's episode is sponsored by, an incredible advocate for sex toy accessibility and affordability.


Let's go over words you might not know the meaning of, like grapefruiting, which means stroking a penis with a grapefruit so that it feels both like vaginal and oral sex during a blowjob, fellatio.  A woman named Angel has a training video where she thoroughly demonstrates using citrus as a sleeve and someone added sound to it, uploaded it to YouTube, and it went viral.  

Clitlock, when you're only able to masturbate in a really specific way, one position or with certain strokes or objects, etc.  Genital lock is different.  That's when the penis of a dog enlarges inside the vagina of another dog so that they're temporarily locked together.

Bodycount, in sexuality, it isn't the number of casualties or deaths.  It's  the number of people a person has had sex with.  For some, body count includes oral sex.  For others, there's a separate head count to distinguish between the different types of sex.

STEM, science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.  White males have traditionally dominated these spaces so lots of individuals and organizations are working on initiatives to increase the diversity in these disciplines, in STEM.  "When we consider scientific research as group problem solving, instead of the unveiling of individual brilliance, diversity becomes key to excellence."

Transmasc, anyone who wasn't assigned male at birth, who identifies as more masculine than feminine on a spectrum.  A reminder.  Trans woman is someone who identifies as a woman, so your friend who was raised as a boy and lives as a woman is a trans woman.  Harisu is a trans woman. Althea Garrison is a trans woman.  Chaz Bono is a trans man and so is Laith Ashley.

Enby, someone who identifies as non-binary.  N, non, B, binary, enby.  Binary meaning two, in this case male/female, so enby is someone who does not identify as male or female, or at least not consistently.  There's a lot of other shorthand like this.  

MPFT, RUH, TDTM, DURS.  I highly recommend studying netlingo's fairly comprehensive list of acronyms and abbreviations.  We use them for efficiency and privacy, which is great.  It's a safer sex option.  It helps with open communication, but it's risky for example, if you're a minor.  KPC for GNOC or MIRL for 53x.

Hinge, it's a dating app that narrows your pool to people that you're already connected through mutual friends on Facebook.  Bumble and Tinder are also dating or hookup apps, but these show you everyone in a designated vicinity, then let you swipe left if you're not interested, swipe up to superlike the person, or swipe right to like and potentially match.

SESTA, FOSTA, this needs a much longer explanation, but in short, SESTA stands for Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act, a senate bill, and FOSTA is Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act, a bill passed by the house of representatives.  They're supposed to end rape slavery, yay, but the way they're written actually threatens and eliminates freedom of speech online, especially around sexuality, like sex ed, sex work, sex in the arts, pornography, etc.

Polyam is short for polyamorous.  This way, people of Polynesian descent can use Poly and there's less confusion, though there's still word combinations with polyamory that use just the prefix poly-.  Polycule, for example, is a portmanteau of polyamory and molecule, referring to everyone in a polyamory network of relationships.  You, your lovers, your lovers' lovers, aka, your paramours.

Mouthfeel, the way something feels orally.  For example, Adria, a character in the show ContraPoints, explains that the mouthfeel of a male penis is different than the mouthfeel of a feminine penis.  

ContraPoints: It doesn't get as hard.  It doesn't really ejaculate and it has a different mouthfeel.  Why is no one talking about the mouthfeel?

Lindsey: A sex club is a designated place where communities go to have sex, masturbate, or observe.  Think of them like gyms.  There's a protocol, you can get a membership or one time pass, sometimes there's a fee.  You can work out a loan, lift with a buddy, have a group workout, or just watch others sweat.  Everybody does their thing and then they wipe off the equipment to keep it clean.

Thot, a woman who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships, also used as a slur.  That ho over there or thirsty hoes over there, thirsty referring to someone who wants attention.  An e-thot, like an e-book or an e-mail, refers to girls or women who use their sexuality to attract online attention, likes and followers.

Top, in relationship dynamics, is the dominant partner, the daddy, the master, the dom.  It can also refer to one who penetrates a receptive partner.  So a bottom is someone who is submissive and/or is the receptive partner.  If you go back and forth between the two, you might call yourself a switch, and that wraps up 30+ words you officially know.  There will always be more to learn.  Stay curious.

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