Christmas is almost upon us, hooray!

I love Christmastime; even commercialism is pretty at Christmastime. There- I'm not afraid to admit it. And Jane will be back home soon, and so will Charlotte, and it'll be just like old times! And that makes me happy, and the holidays are all about being happy.

My name is Lizzie Bennet, and absolutely nothing will ruin this Christmas.

[Intro plays]

So my mother, predictably, has been panicking that yet another year has gone by and none of her daughters have gotten married. Sure, Jane got a promotion, I'm almost finished with my degree, and Lydia's actually attending school, but alas - not a one of us has got engaged, let alone married, and therefore...

[to Lydia] Uh, costume theater? You can be Dad!

Lydia: I don't know. I'm a little too energetic to play Dad. 

Lizzie: Oh, come on, you're not still mad about that? 

Lydia: [laughs] Um, yeah. I am. Peace out. [starts to leave]

Lizzie: Hey!

Lydia: I'm not staying here unless you have something to say to me.

Lizzie: I already told you I didn't mean it the way you took it.

Lydia: [pause] ...Wrong answer.

Lizzie: Gah, she can be so frustrating! I don't know how many times I have to tell her I am just trying to look out for her - and I am! Whatever. Lydia never stays mad for long. That's the good thing about sisters, I guess.

[phone buzzes] And we have a Charlotte...who is texting to say that Lydia just published and tweeted out a video called 'Dear Lizzie'? Okay...

[Lydia on video] -and it's not a bad thing, right?-

[shouts angrily] Lydia?

Lydia: What.

Lizzie: Sit down....what is this?

Lydia: It's a video, genius. 

Lizzie: 'Top five ways that I can stop being so incredibly lame?' This is stupid. Take it down.

Lydia: If it's so stupid, why do you care if I take it down? 

Lizzie: Because this is immature, even for you?

Lydia: Well, I assume you'll just cut this part out anyway - wouldn't want me embarrassing you in front of your new hate-BFFs Darcy and Caroline! Hi guys!

Lizzie: Stop that!

Lydia: Oho, my God! Did I forget to think before I spoke again? My bad. I won't be doing that on your videos anymore. 

Lizzie: That's not even what I want; you're the one who's making it into this whole-

Lydia: Oh, don't act all innocent. You started this.

Lizzie: Not maliciously. It's not the same. I wasn't trying to hurt you, Lydia, whereas you clearly-

Lydia: Yeah, well, too late. Don't worry; soon as Christmas is over I'm headed off to Vegas for New Year's, where people actually appreciate my epic ability to party-

Lizzie: Oh, no, you are not-

Lydia: Oh, yes, I am! And don't even bother watching my videos while I'm gone; you think I'm too much to handle now, you just wait.

Lizzie: What makes you think I would even want to?

Lydia: So this makes what, Lizzie? Best friend, boyfriend, older sister, younger sister, all gone, in what - four months? My video was wrong, you are good at something. 

[Outro plays]