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In which Hank discusses what it means to be a good person and pretty much proves that he, in fact, is not one.

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A Bunny
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Good morning, John. Last time, you came to us from the beautiful canals of Venice, Italy, and so today I come to you from the beautiful canals of Venice, Florida. I totally did not plan this. John, the discussion of whether or not George Washington was an evil person has spread like wild fire across Nerdfighteria, spawning many interesting and intelligent discussion both in Your Pants and in the comments. I like the concept of a What-if machine. Just so that we can go back and see what happened if we shove someone into the street, prevent a butterfly from flapping its wings. I like that there was a Nerdfighter called Deflin in Your Pants who decided that we should actually work up a list of criteria for what it takes to get into the Evil Baby orphanage, and I like that most of the discussion was focused on intent. If we wanted to be good people then, kind of, we are. Though I don't know that that's precisely true, and I start to get a little screwed up here because I start to realize that it's not that important that we figure out what makes a bad person because I know that I'm not a bad person, and as kneehighargylesocks pointed out in the comments, Sirius Black did tell Harry Potter that you can't separate the world into good people and Death Eaters; it's more complicated than that. And I know that I'm not a Death Eater, but I don't know that I'm not a good person, and I want to be a good person, so I want to know what the criteria for being a good person is. But that's not something that we necessarily intrinsically know. John, a couple years ago I sat on this very dock right here and I talked about how objectively bad the practice of eating meat is, and that's still true; the production of meat still accounts for about the same amount of greenhouse gasses as the transportation sector. Yes, that includes driving. And if we took all of the edible food that we feed to livestock in this country, and instead of feeding it to livestock gave it to people, no one in the world would be hungry. And yet I still eat meat. I know that it's bad, but I keep doing it because I like it. I recently read in Good Magazine; I don't know if you know what Good Magazine is, but it's a magazine, and I recently read that they're challenging their readers to not eat meat for the month of June, and so I think I'm gonna try to do that. Uhh, though I'm not going to succeed entirely because I'm with my in-laws right now, and I have to eat whatever they give me because I have to be gracious. Also it's really tasty. But I'm not that likely to get really excited about that idea, like I wanna eat meat, and so not eating meat isn't fun. I do get excited about technological solutions, like a bunch of scientists are trying to figure out how to grow meat in a laboratory, much more efficiently and without the need for, uh, suffering of an animal. And everyone I know, EVERYONE, when I tell them this idea, they're like “Bleurgh blurgaka blegh blerugh bleuurgh,” and I'm like “For real? You think that there's something grosser than the way we currently produce food?” Because no, no there's nothing grosser than the way we currently produce food. Also I find this hilarious - the United States just, uh, revamped the food pyramid into a plate in which half of the plate is vegetables and fruits, which is fantastic. And the other half of the plate is protein and grains. I think that the protein is hilarious because there's tons of protein in vegetables and tons of protein in grains. So what is up with that? Why is there a protein section at all? That would be because this whole thing is being designed by the United States Department of Agriculture and not the Department of Health, and the agriculture industry of America, uh, surprise, surprise, thrives on meat eating. So, yeah, it's a little bit disturbing that the, ah, United States Department of Agriculture is - is controlling, uh, the largest part of our health equation, obesity being the number one health problem in America right now. So Nerdfighters, if you can find it in your heart, go a little bit vegetarian this month. See how it takes you. Maybe you could just be a lunchaterian, maybe you could just eat meat on the weekends. Try it out, knowing that denying yourself this one indulgence actually, uh, is going to make you a little bit better of a person, which will decrease your chances of someone coming back in time and robbing you from your cradle as a baby and sending you to a Evil Baby Orphanage. There's links in the description with more information on all of this stuff. John, I'll see you on Monday.