Hank: Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. This is the weekly podcast where I, Hank Green, and usually John Green, but this week Emma Blackery answer your questions, give you dubious advice, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. But first, Emma, do you have a poem for us?

Emma: I do! I decided I would fill in for John and give a nice romantic sort of poem. And I'm going to dedicate it to John, I think. I think he'll enjoy this one.

Okay, are you ready? Yes. Okay.

Daniel, my brother, you are older than me. Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal? Your eyes have died, but you see more than I.

Daniel, you're a star in the face of the sky.

Hank: Thank you, Emma. I'm glad this is becoming a tradition. As long as John is gone, all of the poems will be Bernie Toppin lyrics. The man who wrote almost all of them.

Elton John songs. Thanks to Maureen Johnson for starting off that tradition and thank you, Emma, for continuing it. You're welcome.

Emma: It's a legacy now.

Hank: So for everyone who doesn't know, Emma Blackery is a YouTuber and a musician and you're something of an advice giver yourself. So I'm excited to welcome you on the show. Tell us about yourself. 

Emma: I started making YouTube videos in 2012. I originally started because I wanted to be a musician and post my own awful self-made music videos. And I'm going to read 50 Shades of Grey. I decided to start doing more like comedy vlogs and stuff and that's kind of taken over my channel now.

So it's kind of like my channel is a mixture of music slash comedy slash not reading copyrighted books.

Hank: Well the funny thing about reading copyrighted books is it's only okay if you're slagging off on it, to use your phrase that I do not actually know the meaning of.

Emma: Oh yeah, sorry, that's a UK thing, we have lots and lots of slang, but slagging off basically just means you're talking bad about it. Trash talking, I believe you would say. Which sounds so weird in a British accent. You know, trash talking.

Hank: Are you trash talking? Well it's like me saying, it's like me saying, slagging off.

Emma: That sounds really stupid.

Hank: JACOB SOBOROFF Yeah. So, but yeah, I mean, if you're actually critiquing the thing that you are reading, then it's okay to read the copyrighted material, as long as you don't read all of it in sequence, which I think is what you were doing.

Emma: SARAH LEWIS That's the problem. That's what I did. Word for word. Every single word.

I think I probably could have applied the fair use thing if I'd just taken some things out of context and read a few lines.

Hank: JACOB SOBOROFF Yes, that would have been fine.

Emma: SARAH LEWIS But I made 40 minute long videos. Just reading a chapter.

Hank: Just an audiobook of Fifty Shades of Grey but with occasional commentary about how bad it is.

Emma: I'd pay for that. The worst part about it is a couple of weeks before mine got taken down and they were like, hey, we might sue you for this. Which they didn't, which was great. Another person who was reading books online made a video saying, oh, I had this book publishing company take my videos down, don't read books online, and I was like, Oh, that's scary.

I'd better stop. Nah. You know what?

It won't happen to me. And then two weeks later, it just happened to me. So, word of advice if you want to start a YouTube channel.

Just don't read copyright content.

Hank: Well, but was that a contributor to your success, would you say?

Emma: Yes, it was. It was. That's how my channel kind of started getting big. So thank you, Ian and James.

Hank: Thank you very much. Well, in that case, then the thing that you should say is do do illegal. Thanks for watching Yeah, and I feel like if YouTube hadn't had those days of just like being a really great repository of stolen TV stuff, it would never have gotten as popular as it did.

Emma: Yeah, I think you're probably right on that, because a lot of people just wanted to access quick, you know, quick clips. And yeah, because I mean the first video was a guy at the zoo, the creator of YouTube, wasn't it?

Hank: Yeah, one of the creators.

Emma: Yeah, if it was just that, or people talking on webcams in black and white for ten years, I guess it wouldn't have taken off, no. I suppose you're right. That's weird. Basically, break the law kids.

Hank: It's gonna. be fine. As long as you're small enough to get away with it, and then as soon as you're starting to get on people's radar, run away and hide and then pretend like that never happened. And that's really, you know, the story of many YouTubers, not necessarily with copyrighted content, but with doing things that are slightly maybe, you know, the little hacks and tweaks and dubious is a good word for it. Thanks.

Emma: I like using that word. It's my word of the week. I have a word of the week that I never share with anybody. Is it really?

I have an inner monologue sort of podcast going on in my head all the time. Dubious is my word of the week. It's not even a joke.

Hank: No, I believe you.

Emma: That's just believable, isn't it?

Hank: You're going to have a lot of opportunities to use the word Dubious, I think, today. Just because you're going to have a lot of opportunities to use a lot of words. Because this is Dear Hank and John. Indeed, or Emma and Hank this week, right?

Indeed. Yeah, well, I mean, as long as that's the way you want to. say it.

Emma: Just wait until I can write a book and promote it around the world. And then I won't be available, and then it would just be Dear Hank and Hank.

Hank: Oh, no!

Emma: And then you're in trouble. Oh, God. I'd love to see that.

Hank: It'd be awful nice if I could borrow Wheezy Waiter's cloning machine and do an episode of Dear Hank and Hank because, you know, sometimes it's hard to get people on the phone. Everybody's busy, but I'm not. 

Emma: I think if it was a world full of Hanks if you were to replace every other living being on this planet I think it would probably be quite a fun place. I'd get sick of your voice, but...

Hank: I think it'd be super boring.

Emma: It'd just be, you know, things about Mars all the time, wouldn't it?

Hank: It'd be a lot of things about Mars. I think probably, yeah. I think that, yeah. Well, the problem is that all the Hanks would want to send humanity to Mars, but none of them would want to go.

Yeah, I can imagine that would inhibit the process quite a bit. Because there'd just be a lot of. vomiting on the way. You sure you wouldn't go?

You sure? The One Way Ticket. I live in Montana.

If I wanted a really exciting, high-stakes life, I'd move to a big city, but I don't. I'd lay back normal things and normal friends and normal life and doing the normal, human, American things.

Emma: Can I just say, if you want a life where you're just climbing big red rocks in really dry desert, just go to Utah.

Hank: Oh yeah, we got... We got some pretty Mars-like places in America Red Rock Red Rock. I live in Montana where a tiny town has like eight people.

Emma: Oh, okay. Well, we don't really have those kind of towns. We call them... Well, we say they're villages, I guess, but we don't really have like really small towns anymore.

Hank: Not that much. Yeah, there's not enough space for that in your country.

Emma: Well, that's the thing, actually, before we go on, you'd be very surprised because you've flown to England before and you've probably looked down and the amount of green that we do have in our country. Yeah. Apparently only 10% of our land is inhabited.

Hank: Well that's a hugely high. percentage on the global scale.

Emma: I don't know if that's actually the specific figure but I know that it's a very small amount. and like our politicians I have you believe oh there's no room for any more people. we shouldn't have any more immigrants come in because we haven't got the room but it's more a case of the room. yeah they genuinely say that but the truth is where are you gonna put them exactly? but the truth is I guess we don't have the money to build houses. I guess that's what they're trying to say right. They build this vision of the island being so heavy that it sinks. 

Hank: Can't add any more people.

Emma: Exactly, one more person and we're going down boys. We can't have it anymore. But a lot of it is just green.

Hank: Yeah, you've got a beautiful country. It's much smaller and with far more people than per unit of space.

Emma: It's a lot more compressed. It's like drinking squash rather than just juice. It's tough. You don't know what squash is, do you?

Hank: I do not! Oh, cordial? Have you heard of cordial? Nope, that's unfamiliar as well.

Emma: It's like really. really concentrated juice that you water down.

Hank: Oh, we call that concentrate.

Emma: Oh, well we don't call it concentrate.

Hank: You've got a whole new word for it.

Emma: This whole podcast is just me translating, well, you translating what I'm saying.

Hank: Well you translating what you're saying.

Emma: To you. Yeah. 

Hank: Thanks for watching! All right, our first question is from Alpha, who asks, Dear Hank and Emma, this is mostly for Emma. Last year I started a channel for music, but I've been inactive for about a year now. Now I'm willing to come back, but I can't find the motivation.

Emma inspired me a lot these past few days, as she's been watching your videos, and I want to know what keeps her inspired in making music videos and writing music. I need your sage advice.

Emma: Oh, okay.

Hank: What keeps you inspired? 

Emma: In terms of keeping inspired, in terms of videos I get inspiration from anywhere. Just today I was in a store and I bought a shirt and the lady said, oh that's a nice shirt. And instantly I thought I'm going to make a video about this. when store assistants judge the clothes you're buying. I get inspiration. for that sort of thing, just from everyday stuff.

That annoys me, don't do that.

Hank: Why not?

Emma: Don't tell me whether you like the clothes I'm buying or not because that means there are some clothes in the store that you don't like. And what if I picked that up and you're too rude to say? What if you don't actually like this shirt? What if you're saying that because the last thing that you beat through for my stuff was really horrible?

Hank: You know what I like though? I really like when I'm at an ice cream shop or some food place where you sort of create your own item. I'm gonna get a root beer float but instead of vanilla I'm gonna use cardamom ice cream and then the person behind the counter is like ooh that sounds so good. it makes me feel like this person is like they work at an ice cream shop. they're a connoisseur. they've heard everything but I like the idea that I could impress them with my my superior ice cream ordering skills.

Emma: that's true in the UK. I don't know if you guys have this but we have it where. you go into a restaurant and you say like what would you recommend? And you asked the waitress, like, what would you recommend, or server, whatever you guys say. But, like, I find that really weird, because you're saying to someone else with completely different taste buds, completely different genetics, like, what food pleases your palate?

It's like, well, I mean, everyone is different.

Hank: Well, but, this is a person who has more expertise than you do. They work at the restaurant, they've seen the things prepared, they've Theoretically tried a lot of the different dishes.

Emma: I totally get that, but I just find that really really weird, because what if it's someone, because I've had it before, they say, oh well I really like this, and it's topped with almonds and nuts, and I'm just like, well I hate nuts.

Hank: So that's out of the question. Yes, I also, oftentimes it'll be like, the mussels are particularly great here, and I'm like, that sounds disgusting.

Emma: Exactly.

Hank: Do not talk to me.

Emma: I will use my mussels and throw them away for you. Anyway, in terms of being inspired, yeah, making videos, I think actually, kind of sadly, it's more. a case of it's all I got right now. Like, I quit my job to start doing this. Like, I was a waitress and I started earning more money from YouTube than I did from waitressing and I was like, hey, you know what, I'm going to try real hard to make a living out of this and I was able to.

But if I stop making videos, then I guess I go back to waitressing. I get up at six o'clock in the morning again. This is a case of I have to do it, which sounds like a really bad sort of inspiration.

It kind of makes you sound like you're gonna hate it, like it's a job now. And I think that's very, very good in keeping me inspired. It's like, well, if I don't do it, I'm poor.

In terms of music, I'm a really bad role model in terms of inspiring people to make music because I haven't written anything in about a year. What do you think of this song? And luckily, they've all turned out pretty all right, I think.

But I don't force myself to write.

Hank: It sounds like you do force. yourself to write. It sounds like you have to record an EP. Right, right. But having that thing that you have to get done, for me, that's a lot of what it is too.

From the beginning of Vlogbrothers, we've had a schedule that we have to abide by or else. And knowing that I have to have a video done every Friday means that I'm thinking, you know, certainly today and also all of the previous days of the week, like, what the heck is that video going to be about? Is it going to be a response to John?

Is it going to be something about how to make sure that you don't use, like, I've been seeing a lot of people, like friends, emailing me and like they use the wrong word and I'm just like, that's fine, I know what word you mean. I'm not gonna, like, correct you on it, but if I were, like, an employer, I'd be like, you can't, you gotta watch, you gotta not do that.

Emma: Yeah.

Hank: You gotta, yeah. So maybe make a video about, like, here's some words that people commonly use wrong, and this will prevent you from. looking like an idiot. Not that you are an idiot, but you don't wanna look like one. So...

Emma: So you just get inspiration from, like, everyday things.

Hank: You get inspiration, but, like, but it's not, like... The thing that's really inspiring isn't the everyday thing, it's the knowing that you have to make a thing and so you're constantly, your brain is on looking for things to make things with.

Emma: Exactly, like if your creative switch is on, you can find inspiration from a lot of places. I think, in a way, I want to say you're kind of lucky, in that, obviously, you and John started this channel simply, you know, Vlogbrothers, to talk to each other. So it's a case of if you wanted to quit at any time you kind of could, but you kept it up because you were dedicated to it, both of you. And then suddenly you amassed this massive community of people, the Nerdfighters, that suddenly were also depending on these videos.

So now it's not just your brother that wants a video every Friday, it's like three million people want a video every Friday.

Hank: Right, and in the end that's the most. inspiring thing is like the. That's really the thing that keeps me making videos and keeps me like caring a lot about whether or not they're good and like fretting when I know that they're not. what they could be is that I have these people who I rely on and have given me great gifts and I can't let them down.

Emma: True, but like sometimes I look at all the things you're involved with and I just think, how is he doing this? Have you actually got Wheezy Waiter's cloning machine?

Hank: Now instead of a cloning machine, I hire people, which is how I do all the things.

Emma: But it's still you! It's still you with Crash Course and SciShow and Vlogbrothers and I see you all over the place, now you've got a podcast. I can't keep up with you. There must be six of you.

There has to be.

Hank: I sleep a normal amount. I work more than an average person, but only because my work is so fun. And yeah, I just have lots of help and lots of, and I also have, and also an inspiring thing about having this audience is that they are. like, because they're passionate and they want to help and we share values, If I have a new idea, a new thing, they're likely to come and check it out and at least see if they like it. And if they don't, they might go away.

But if they do, they might become new loyal podcast listeners. And sometimes just the fact that you can do something, it feels like since you can, you should, and you kind of have an obligation to. Because especially if other people want to do that thing and you have an easy path to it.

And I sometimes feel like a jerk if I'm like, well, I could, but I don't have time. Yeah, exactly. To fulfill this thing that is a dream of millions of people.

Emma: Like, the problem with me though is that I often get really spontaneous. I'll go through phases where like, I'm gonna make this channel, this is a genius idea, I'm gonna make this, I'm gonna be dedicated to it, and then like a month later, I'll just be like, oh I haven't uploaded on there for three weeks. I'm really awful at just making really rash decisions. I don't plan things out, I just do them.

Which I am working on. It's all about self-improvement. You've got to be a better human every day.

That's kind of one of my sayings. I always get really excited about projects. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to film.

And when I came up with my second channel, which is like a lifestyle... I filmed like 20 videos in advance. I was like, see, now I'm ahead.

Now I can keep doing this. And now I haven't uploaded on there in about three weeks. So in this case, being inspired is hard, I think.

I think it's hard to keep yourself motivated. But I would say at first, I don't know, because I don't know if it's better to apply pressure to yourself as in, you know, you have to have this done. You and John do.

Or whether it's easier to not apply pressure to yourself and go, I'm going to take it slow, I'm going to do it at my own pace, which is kind of what I do. But I think it depends on what works for you, really. I mean, I think we both work in very. different ways, but we both get our content up.

Hank: Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think that the... For me, forcing yourself to do something even if nobody's watching is great because I think no matter what if you're creating, you're improving yourself. You're being empathetic, you're thinking about what other people would think about your content, you're creating stuff that you think is good, you're getting better at creating, you're getting better at thinking critically, like all that stuff is part of the making process. no matter what you're making, if you're making a business or a painting or a video blog.

It's a very complicated exercise, and no matter whether you're doing it just for yourself or you're doing it for an audience, it's always a kind of self-improvement. So I try to think of it that way, even when I'm making something that I know that somebody's never going to see, I'm like, well, at least I'm doing this thing. that's helping me understand myself better and helping me understand the world better.

Emma: Yeah, like I think no matter what it is, no matter who sees it, if it has a positive outcome, whether it's for you. or whether it's just for like you and a friend or like, you know, if no one's gonna see it and it just makes you feel better, then do it. If it's only got a positive thing, then there's no reason why you shouldn't do it.

Hank: And there's, I mean, it's almost like because there's now this very sort of terrifying internet thing where anybody's creation, if it's clever, funny enough, can get, you know, a million notes on Tumblr. That it's almost not worth it to make something that's not going to get a million notes on Tumblr, but that's, of course, a fallacy.

Emma: I think it's a trap that a lot of YouTubers fall into. Like, a lot of YouTubers fall into... I mean, I've fallen into this trap where you think, I'm going to make this video because it's going to go viral. And it's the worst way of thinking.

It's completely, completely poisonous. When you choose a topic, you think, oh, that's going to get a lot of views, because that's the worst thing you can do. Especially if you've started to build an audience through not doing that.

D. J. R.

And I always say that, make. videos that you would enjoy watching and eventually the people that enjoy your stuff will find you, you know, if YouTube works.

Hank: Yeah, as long as all the parts don't break. Do you want to give us another question?

Emma: Sure, I'll read the next one. This one is from Ellen and she says, I'm in America with school for the first time, I'm from the UK, and I tried a corn dog for the first time yesterday. And I understand now why you like them so much, Hank. I'm not really sure if John likes them too.

I just wanted to ask, if you could only ever eat one food again, what would it be? My answer is definitely not corn dogs. I think they're the worst thing on the planet.

Hank: You've had a corn dog.

Emma: So that's a controversial- I have! Yeah, I had one at Disney. It was literally a hot dog fried, just deep fried, in batter. Yes, correct.

It was the weirdest thing and it didn't work. I just thought it was awful.

Hank: I cannot understand how you feel the way you feel.

Emma: I understand how what I mean is. I understand how people can like. them because they've got that kind of satisfying crunch the texture. but for me it was just. maybe it was the way it was cooked. maybe it wasn't done right at Disney but it was really greasy and I was just sitting there. it made me feel really full although I had eaten an entire dill pickle before I ate that. because as much as I don't like corn dogs I can just eat a whole dill pickle. you guys do them in bags. we don't have that in the UK, you guys do like bagged pickles. It's the best thing. They make fun of Canadians having bagged milk.

But you guys have bagged pickles and I think that's the best invention. So if I could only ever eat one food again, it would probably be bagged pickles. Dual pickles.

I think they're great.

Hank: That sounds so awful to me.

Emma: That's my answer.

Hank: You don't like pickles? I don't like pickles. There's so, there's way too much flavor in a pickle. All the vinegar, it's painful.

It's just, it is clearly a chemical that is designed to kill things, which is what pickling is. And so I don't know why. one would pour a bunch of, you know, dilute acetic acid solution into their stomachs.

Emma: I only found out like about a year ago that a pickle It's just a cucumber. I only found that out about a year ago. It's just a cucumber and vinegar and it blew my mind. I thought pickles just grew.

Yeah, I'm awful. Well, they give it a different name and everything. Don't rename it because you've shoved it in acid.

That's not right. I might get that framed.

Hank: Don't rename it because you've shoved it in acid. It's strange that that there's lots of pickled things like. you can have pickled beets and you can have pickled onions and pickled like relish is a kind of pickled like pickled things in relish. But you can't have. you can't have pickled cucumbers. You just have pickles.

Emma: Exactly. It's stupid. And what if you had a pickle? So it's a pickled cucumber and then you put it back in vinegar because then it's just a pickled pickle.

And that doesn't make any sense.

Hank: It doesn't make sense that they would call it a pickle.

Emma: The pickle is a verb. You can't do that. You know? You're changing from a verb to a noun.

That's not right. English language is mad. But I like them.

I think they're great. I don't know how often you personally eat McDonald's, but I have to ask, are you the kind of guy that would take the pickle out of the Big Mac?

Hank: Yeah, yeah well my wife loves pickles so I take the pickle out of the Big Mac and I give them to her and she like it's double pickles.

Emma: Okay, good. Because like even though I don't eat Big Macs anymore because I recently went vegetarian. Which explains why I don't like corndogs. I'm the person, well I used to be the person everyone would. just you know they'd take out the pickle and just throw it at me.

Although we call them gherkins over here, so.

Hank: That's a good name. See that's better.

Emma: G H E R K I N Gherkin.

Hank: And can you explain to me what a H is?

Emma: No. A H. Oh, you don't say H, do you? No.

Hank: You say H. Correct.

Emma: Oh, and do you know what really annoys me and a lot of British people?

Hank: What?

Emma: Why don't you say? herb? It's got a H. It has a H. It's a herb.

It's not an herb. What's an herb? It doesn't begin with a U?

Hank: I'm just really enjoying you saying herb.

Emma: It's awful! I'm using you as the spokesperson for America right now. Why do you say herb?

Hank: It's awful. Why do you say anherb?

Emma: Yeah, that's true. Because...

Hank: That's just awful. Like that makes no sense. The only reason that the N exists... Do we say anherb?

You do.

Emma: Is that a thing?

Hank: I've heard British people say that. I will have to check so that we can cut this part of the podcast if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Emma: Well, I mean, in my accent, I'm from a place called Essex, which is notorious for having sort of, you know, like cockney rhyming slang and sort of commoners like Oliver Twist. Please, sir, can I have some more? I know it's like London, but imagine those old-time Londoners coming to another place. That's what Essex is, and that's what my accent is, like Russell Brand, and it's that accent, and we would say, um, have you got any herbs?

Like, we do say herbs, but we say, have you got any herbs? Not like, herbs. You know, um, we leave out the beaches with my accent.

Hank: You are not, uh, convincing me that that's different. No, I guess not. Because of course you say it differently, because you have an accent. But you don't use the ancient herb either.

You have an accent. You have an accent. Everyone has an accent.

Emma: Alright, happy July 4th.

Hank: It came from us.

Emma: I don't know. We are not taught that history. You know that, right? I never learned anything to do with Independence Day in history.

Hank: Oh, I'm so sorry. I guess you guys still feel bad about it. You're like ashamed of losing the war.

Emma: July the 4th is pretty much the day where all Americans are really loud and the British just go really, really quiet. Really quiet.

Hank: You just talked to us on Twitter that day. You know like that's so separate like the July 4th is so separate from the idea of independence from the UK. We never think of independence from Britain. We think of independence.

Just like we are independent. We are free Then mostly we're thinking about Mostly just thinking. about ourselves. And in no way do we consider America's context, like the broader context of America in global society.

In fact, July 4th is the day on which you want to do that the least. Because if you do that, then it gets kind of complicated and you're like, is America great? It's done a lot of good and bad things.

Yeah. But you don't want to feel that way. You want to be like, boom!

That thing exploded! Give me a hot dog!

Emma: Exactly, man. Otherwise you get in a war of... whatever the tea thing was about, and then you got the smallpox thing. Like I said, we're not taught any of it. At all.

It's just not right. Yeah. Well, that's fine.

Hank: You got your- Well, we're not taught anything about all of your wonderful kings and your Cromwells and your- Oh, really? See, that's- No, we don't know anything about that.

Emma: We're not taught that.

Hank: and World War II. Skip over World War I?

Emma: Well, it kind of comes up, but not that often. It comes up when you're like 13, 14.

Hank: It's like, love will die at the end. Hitler! It was bad. Yeah, World War I.

Bad idea. Don't do that again. Okay.

Or just do it again immediately. Yeah.

Emma: Either way. Just a couple years later with another guy who served in World War I. So has the expertise. Smart man.

Yep.

Hank: Alright, we're good at chatting. We're good at chatting. I haven't answered the question. I would probably eat...

I don't know, what would I eat? No, probably not. I would want something that would have enough nutritional content for me to not die of a vitamin deficiency.

Emma: I would recommend, if it was a single piece of food and you wanted to live forever, I would probably recommend a tomato.

Hank: Oh, I don't like them.

Emma: I mean, I like them. I will leave this podcast.

Hank: I know, I like them, I just, I couldn't eat them, like, by myself, by themselves every day.

Emma: I eat them by themselves as a snack all the time.

Hank: Alright, Sarah asks, Dear Hank and John, I'm in my first year of med school and I failed chemistry, which means that I have to do it next year and will delay my career. I have always been a good student, so this is the worst. thing that has ever happened to me, and I feel like a complete failure. Do you have any tips on dealing with screwing up?

Emma: Yeah, it's happened now.

Hank: So, that's it. Yeah, life didn't end.

Emma: That's it, like, you can't go back. I hate it when people say like you know if you could do things differently what would you do? and then they say oh well I wouldn't do anything differently. because it's meant to be this way. because even though I believe in fate and I honestly do believe everything is meant to happen for a reason which you may disagree with being a scientific kind of guy but I think when it comes to screwing up you have to say to yourself at the time I did my best and it didn't go the way I planned and now instead of dwelling on the past I have to find a way of working around it. If it's put you behind a year, that year is going to give you a lot more experience in life. You might have some life-changing things happen in the next year.

And you might find that you're actually a lot more well-equipped. to do the next year. In the year that it's taken you to get back on track. If you wake up every day and feel bad about every mistake you've made, you're just not going to want to get out of bed.

And I think that's a very bad way of living if you just live in regret all the time.

Hank: Completely agree. I actually majored in chemistry in the first, my first semester of chemistry. I did very poorly. I don't, I think I got a C.

It wasn't bad enough that I had to retake the class, but it was bad enough that I was like, I have, I did not expect to, yeah, I did not expect to ever do this poorly in a class. Like I, I thought that I always would always do well because I'd always done well in high school because high school is pretty easy. And what I did for the next...

What I did was I was like, well, I can't do the same thing. I did again. I have to think about this differently.

And so it was an opportunity to say, like, why didn't I learn this well? Why? wasn't I able to do this? And I kind of completely reformed the way I studied and tried to learn things.

Emma: I think you're completely right. I think that's one of the best things you can do, improve on yourself personally.

Hank: And learning how to learn is really the trick of school.

Emma: Yeah, definitely. I wish I knew that 10 years ago. I wish I actually revised anything 10 years ago. I didn't study at all.

I never studied. I was the arrogant kid who never did any homework, never did any studying, and still got A's. Except for this. one time, I was in what you guys would call middle school.

I was 15. I think that's middle school? I think.

Hank: Maybe going into high school.

Emma: We just call it secondary school. But I started studying physics. It was a subject you could take in middle school. And in the first lesson, our teacher made us take a pop quiz.

And I went in there thinking, yeah, I've done really well in science so far. I've got this. I like physics.

Physics is cool. And I got an E, which was the lowest you could get because he refused. to come back. So I remember just getting it back the next lesson.

And I just I stayed behind after class and cried my eyes out because it was such a slap in the face not like not in an offended way but it was like reality hit me hard that I'm clearly not good at this. as I thought I thought I would just waltz in there and do well and come out going. yeah that was easy. but I I sat behind with my teacher. I said you know I'm really upset. what did I do wrong? and he was like first off you need to just you need to calm down. crying is not gonna give you an A. and That advice just sort of brought me through the next year. I worked super hard.

I actually did the homework for that class. I was lucky because my teacher actually made it interesting. I actually really, really enjoyed studying physics with him.

Although it was really, really, really easy physics. No, we didn't even learn many formulas or anything. It was just Chernobyl mostly for the whole year.

But at the end of it, when I took. GCSEs, I don't know what you guys would call them, your end of middle school exams, I got an A in physics. So I went from having an E.

A star, which is like A+. So I got like the highest mark you could get because I applied myself and I had a teacher who was really supportive. So I would also say like if you feel as though you've let yourself down in terms of chemistry, go back to your tutor and just have a chat with them and say, I feel really knocked back.

My confidence is completely gone. You know, what can I do? And see if they can give you extra classes.

I don't know, obviously, how the American school system works. If there's a way of staying behind and having revision sessions, studying, then I'd be all for that as well.

Hank: Yeah, absolutely.

Emma: I talk a lot, wow.

Hank: You can really go.

Emma: Wow, jeez, yeah, sorry.

Hank: I feel like you kind of remembered a great deal about your childhood there that maybe you hadn't thought about in a while.

Emma: Yeah, it was like eight years ago. Yeah, he was a good teacher. I feel like. this is probably going to be the longest podcast ever. Have fun editing this.

Hank: Yeah, indeed. Kat asks, Dear Hank and... Oh, what, what, what? Okay, fine.

Emma: And you missed a question.

Hank: Oh, you're right, I did.

Emma: Which is really important. You were reading the right question, but you skipped me.

Hank: Oh, right, right.

Emma: What's it like being a vlog brother, huh? Andrew asks, Dear Hank and Emma, or Dear Emma and Hank, if Eugene something, Cernan? Cernan. You know who that is.

I don't. If that dude had left a bacon sandwich on the moon in 1971, number one, would the bacon sandwich still be safe enough to eat? And number two, given the chance, would either of you eat said bacon sandwich?

I don't know about the first one, but the second one is kind of easy. I'm vegetarian, so no. Unless it was corn bacon, in which case, I think life is too short to not eat a moon sandwich.

I would say if an astronaut came up to me and went, hey, we found this on the moon, do you want to eat it? You'd be an idiot to say no.

Hank: All right, I will venture. a guess on number one, which is that it would still be safe to eat. You reckon? Yeah.

Emma: But they do have oxygen in space, just a little bit.

Hank: Just a tiny, tiny bit. Yeah, but it's been 44 years. It's been a long time. But what? the question really isn't? it? has it degraded or oxidized which would not make it unsafe It would just make it less tasty, which it definitely would be less tasty.

It wouldn't make it unsafe though because it even if it had bacteria on it would probably be sterilized by the temperature Fluctuations. it would be very hot and then very cold because like the sides of the moon one faces the Sun and like you know Yeah, oh yeah, the surface of the moon gets hot. Because it's in the sun. That's fine.

And it would be bombarded by the rays of the sun, which would also sterilize it. So it would be safe to eat, I'm pretty sure, unless I'm missing some way that bacon could decay into something dangerous.

Emma: Do you think light rays can sterilize bacon sandwiches?

Hank: I don't know. I mean it's just like this and it's some. sort of form of radiation. So it seems it could sterilize it or completely destroy it. Yeah, so what would happen is like the high energy UV radiation of the sun would sterilize and break down the sandwich.

Like if you, if just like sort of a bacon sandwich were sitting in space, the thing that would eventually degrade it would just be being bombarded by the radiation, like solar radiation.

Emma: Oh, I thought you were going to say if it just got hit by like tiny little...

Hank: Asteroids. That actually would be a thing, like eventually it would probably be hit by enough tiny little asteroids that it would break apart. That's a good point.

Emma: Just imagine a sandwich floating in space and this tiny little rock just hitting it and like the bacon flying out in slow motion.

Hank: Yeah, that is a beautiful, beautiful image.

Emma: I have never understood how space worked. Ever. Like, would a sandwich even move? Would it break apart?

How do things even move in space? There's nothing up there. I mean, it's all so completely dark, how would you see if anything's happening?

Hank: If a tree fell in the forest, would the bacon?

Emma: sandwich move? Who knows? I should be on the slideshow, that'd be great. I wouldn't be given answers, I'd just... 

Hank: If you want to just send us SciShow questions for us to answer and like to have an Emma Blackery segment of like, how do things even move in space? I don't understand how space works. Then I would be happy to answer those questions.

Emma: I genuinely did consider being a president of space so that I could get a question. I don't know what the question was, but now that this is now that this is official, there is definitely going to be an Emma Blackery segment on every SciShow. And from now on, it's confirmed by Hank Green himself.

Hank: Alright, it's done. And given the chance, would I eat the bacon sandwich? I would first want to do science on the bacon sandwich. I don't know what kind of science I'd want to do.

Oh Hank, there's no time for science. It's a bacon sandwich.

Emma: I mean, if you're going to bring it back to Earth, it's started to degrade, you know? That bacon has started to warm up since it got back in the rocket ship. Rocket. ship, spaceship, I don't know. I just watch kids' TV.

You know, it's gonna start degrading. It's gonna start getting gross. You have to eat it pretty quick.

I did food hygiene courses when I was a waitress, and you've only got a few hours before that meat gets nasty. So, you don't have to try the pro bit unless you're gonna, like, freeze it with that liquid.

Hank: Maybe I'll eat half the bacon sandwich and leave the other half to do science on.

Emma: But don't put science as the priority.

Hank: But I think if given the opportunity, you have to eat a space sandwich.

Emma: Thank you. It's a moon sandwich, but thank you. I'm glad you agree. Okay, you better ask the next question.

Hank: Alright, Kat asks, Dear Hank and Emma, how are you feeling about Google Plus these days?

Emma: We went on a date and they didn't call me back. I think they swiped left or something. I don't know. Google Plus don't hate me, which is good.

Really? Yeah, they don't. They hate me for a while.

Apparently I was actually told by a few people who knew people who worked at Google that they really, really.

Hank: were mad at me. Genuinely. If people don't know what's going on, Emma wrote a song about how she did not feel enthusiastic about the transition of YouTube's sign-in system. to integrate with Google+, which is a Google social media.

Emma: Yeah, so they were kind of mad. for a few weeks after I wrote that song, and about a week after I released it, I had to go into Google for a meeting, which it was alright, I thought it would be really awkward, but they just didn't mention it, which I think they just continued to do, I think they just did not mention it. Apparently now I have actually heard that a lot of people who work within Google+, said they completely agree with the song, which is quite bad, I think. If you work for a social media site and they go, yeah, she was right. Our site's awful.

I'm not going to name names, but yeah, a few people have said to me, yeah, they, they actually like it and they realize you were right. And now no one's on Google plus. And I'm not saying I brought down an entire social media website by myself, but you know, it did go viral.

You're looking at the person that can bring down a social website.

Hank: Well, we're not looking at you, but we are listening to you here. on Dear Hank and John, the podcast that is brought to you by Google Plus.

Emma: Oh, don't say that. I'll have to write another song about how great they are. I can go and find a ukulele somewhere.

Hank: You should do that. You should come back and you should write a song about how wonderful Google Plus is and how wrong you were.

Emma: I had a friend overdub on April 1st saying, we love you, Google Plus.

Hank: Oh, yeah.

Emma: They just overdubbed it with. it's the best thing since sliced bread. And it was terrible. How are you feeling about Google Plus?

Hank: Oh, you know.

Emma: The usual.

Hank: We talk sometimes.

Emma: You know, it's a casual shit.

Hank: I don't think about Google Plus ever.

Emma: I don't think it thinks about you, Hank.

Hank: I don't think it thinks. Let's hope it doesn't think. Because if it thought...

Emma: If Google Plus goes sentient, I am running for my life.

Hank: seriously yes hide like a transformer.

Emma: i am running away he will. not find me i will be on the moon. oh no now he knows i'll be on the moon. he's listening. can i ask you a question about walmart? is it sure that they sell guns in walmart like yes that is true that's ridiculous. that's like my local supermarket that's that's like asda selling guns. what yep Do you have like a gun section?

Hank: Is that a thing? It's like in the fishing rod section. No, no, no. So like you got like where the fishing supplies and the camping supplies are, then there's also guns so that you can take and shoot a deer or something.

Emma: But I mean like they don't. let you just pick up a gun and fire it, right?

Hank: Nope.

Emma: Like you have shooting ranges in the U. S. and everything, like you can just take your neighborhood gun.

Hank: Well, it's not like a shared gun, it's your own gun. You take your gun down, you could take it to the shooting range and practice your gunmanship. That's weird. So weird.

Yeah, I also think it's weird. It is not like. I am a gun owner myself.

Are you? Good. No, I'm not.

I was.

Emma: gonna say you don't seem like the kind of guy to own a gun. I mean, kids get fucking shot. I mean, it's not... It's not worth it.

It's not worth the first, slash second, slash whatever amendment you guys have.

Hank: Well, I mean, for a lot of people, it is the second amendment, yes.

Emma: The first one's freedom of speech, right?

Hank: Correct.

Emma: That's all I know.

Hank: Yeah, so we have the freedom of speaking with your mouth and you also have the freedom of being able to, if the circumstance arrives, to speak with your guns.

Emma: Oh, this next question's good. Do you want to read it out?

Hank: Uh, sure. Hallie asks, Dear Hank and Emma, I'm a senior in high school and I'm very, very short. Luckily for me, I'm a girl, and girls don't get teased as often about being short as guys do, and also high heels exist. But I'm also not very good about feeling confident about my shortness, and I was wondering if you have any advice.

Emma: My advice, as someone who is a hundred and... a hundred and fifty-seven centimeters, which is not tall, it's five foot two. My advice would be... You. can't do anything about it. You're stuck.

You're not gonna grow. So you either hate yourself the rest of your life or you embrace it. For instance, I was never teased for being short.

I always have people use it as an icebreaker. Whenever I meet people who watch my videos, they say, you're so short in real life, as if I don't know. And I've actually taken to it sometimes where I've been really sarcastic and just jumped back and gone, oh my god, really?

Ah! Oh my god, everyone's so tall! And just freaking out.

I was never teased about it but I started seeing it in a positive light. for instance if you're short you are the last person to know when it's raining and you are the last person that's going to get really drenched in. If you were to climb Mount Everest at exactly the same time as a tall person you would live longer because the air would be thinner for the other people. Although you would be the first to probably die in a room that was flooding if you couldn't get out.

I try to not think of that one. But you. know, being short has its benefits for sure. I can walk under many low bridges that my friends have to duck under.

I don't have to duck. I hardly ever have to duck. Which is great.

If I fall over, it's not as far to the ground. So even though you'd think it would be proportional, it doesn't hurt as much. I'm sure of it.

Hank: No, that is definitely true. I would say as a tall person, So I'm 6'1", which is above average. I never notice how, like, the height of other people unless they are taller than me. So because 90% of people are shorter than me, I, like, all people who are shorter than me are the same height in my perception.

So just as like, to understand how people who are taller than you are seeing it, they're probably not seeing you as particularly short. That's interesting. Yeah, I really, well I guess like when somebody gets to be like five foot four, four eleven kind of height, then I'm like, you are a short person, and like I see that, but like, I never feel like it's a- Well I'm five foot two, that's even.

Emma: shorter than that. I am very small. You mean like five, oh you mean like four foot eleven? Yes.

Like not even five foot, oh okay, I thought you meant like five foot four and eleven bits of an inch or something. That's really specific. Fair enough.

That's the thing. You notice the extremities. For instance, I wouldn't go up to you, I wouldn't think, wow, Hank Green is really tall.

Because you do see people who are six foot one.

Hank: Quite often.

Emma: I'm not saying you're very, very common. I'm just saying that you say, yes, it's above average height, but it's not ridiculously tall. I know people who are six foot seven, and they are very, very tall.

Hank: Yeah, then it's like, what just happened? Like if you see Rhett of Rhett and Link, then you're like, oh my goodness. And then he's got the hair.

Emma: I've never met Rhett.

Hank: Yeah, you'll come up to his waist. He's ridiculous.

Emma: What I find very annoying is that I once had a friend who, like I said, was like six foot six. And we went on tour together and people just made us stand next to each other all the. time. Just because it's funny, I was genuinely nipple height. It was horrible.

I really, really was nipple height. But another good thing about being short is that if you are a kind, generous person, if you are quite short, if you are 5'2", you are the absolute perfect height for an armrest. If someone tall or of an average height is standing next to you and they want to ponder, they want to just think, you know, stroke their beard but have their arm resting on something, you are the best perch.

Your shoulder is an incredible perch. I make people do it when they need to think. When they're stressed out, I say, perch, perch over here, and just tap on my shoulder.

And they do, and they feel better. So... you know it's all about embracing the things that you don't like about yourself. I mean if you're really really really insecure about things you can change then I'm all for people changing them.

I'm completely pro plastic surgery if the reasons are good If the reasons are just because it makes you feel more confident. But with your height, there's not much you can do apart. from, like you said, wear high heels or that really drastic surgery. I don't know if you heard about it where they break your legs and then they regrow the bone and you gain about two inches.

And I've read stories about people who have done that and they say they don't regret it even though you lose like a year of your life. But I would say, honestly, quite frankly, you can't do anything about it. You're short.

Yeah.

Hank: Well, and the other thing about being short is that it's fine. Like, I don't know that anybody has a lot of negative, like, they're sort of a general negative series of opinions about short people, especially short women.

Emma: Yeah, there's not negative connotations. Short men, you kind of see them as like Lord Farquaad from Shrek, a little bit. 

Hank: And this is a problem with society, not with the people who are at the outskirts of a bell curve. Yeah, so the good news is it's not that bad of a thing to be in terms of society's weird hang-ups, not in terms of reality, which of course it's not in terms of reality. And the other good news. is that even if it were something that society is weird and hung up about, the best thing that you can be is confident about it in your knowledge that society is weird about. 

Emma: Thanks for watching! Hank Green Hallie Emma, Emma Emma asks. Dear Hank and Emma I know that as people, we're always growing and changing. I'm someone who believes that everything happens for a reason.

I'm completely the same. However, some of the things that we do are just absolutely cringey and horrible. So my question is, how do you not regret the bad or strange things you've done, even knowing it made you who you are?

That's a good question.

Hank: You just, you already answered this question, this podcast. I did! That's weird. You do, you regret them.

You regret the bad and strange things you've done, and part of that regret is what made you who you are. Even the regret. And don't regret your regret, because then you just get caught up in the cycle.

Emma: Although the thing is, like, when you hear that day in day out, but you still get really, like, cringey about the things you've done, it doesn't really help. when someone says, oh, well, it's made you who you are today, because that doesn't negate the fact that what you did was really embarrassing. I think it's completely, I think it's a very, very, very positive thing to regret something, because it means that you've grown. It means you've changed. It means that you, going back in time, you wouldn't do that thing.

Therefore, you are a better person. As I said earlier in the podcast, my main motto in life is to be a better person every day. Improve on yourself every single day.

And looking back at things that you've done, thinking, oh, why did I do that? That means that you wouldn't make those mistakes again. And it's good.

Because if you said to yourself, oh, I don't regret anything I've done, then in a way you're almost being foolish in a way that you're thinking, oh, well, it was meant to be that way. And you're leaving the door open to thinking that you might do it again. I'm not trying to promote my own music, which you can buy on iTunes.

This podcast is sponsored by my EPs. But I look back at my. old music and some of the songs I'm like, oh, that song is so boring. or oh, that song is so simple. Because the first single that I released on YouTube, I loved the song at the time.

I thought it was so catchy, but now I listen to it. I was like, oh, this is so awful. The lyrics are so bad, but I don't see that as a bad thing.

I see the song as bad. But I see it as good that I'm now looking at it as an improved person saying that clearly I have got better at writing if I find this bad.

Hank: Yeah, I mean regret serves a purpose in us and it's a thing that is unpleasant, but it triggers the analysis of our previous actions that led to negative outcomes. And that analysis is good. up to a point, you know, over-analyzing that, getting caught up into it, and never leaving it behind is, you know, a kind of disorder. But, you know, in general, regret and considering and like those cringy feelings of like, oh god, I did that thing, It's about giving you an opportunity to think about, you know, the actions you have taken that have led to negative outcomes and why they led to those negative outcomes. So don't get caught up too much in regretting things, but don't not regret them.

The thing that you, that like I really dislike in our culture is often this idea that like you can't, you know, you have to stay true to your Something. And to me, you know, the self, like who I am, is a different person every day. Like, we constantly evolve.

We create ourselves, and we're different from day to day, and that is not something to be ashamed of, it's something to be proud of, because that means that, you know, like ideally, you have more life experience, you have a better understanding of yourself and other people, and that's allowing you to grow as a person, which means that... You're gonna look back at the some of the things you've done and said and and be like oh why was why? why did I believe that? or why did I make that stupid mistake? or why did I give into that that base emotion and do that mean thing? and that's good because it. means that like hopefully in the next the next time you're faced with you know like giving into a base emotion and doing a mean thing you'll be like well I don't want to feel this This bad, this regret that I've felt for years about that time that I did a thing like that, so I shouldn't do it this time. Yeah.

It's good.

Emma: Like, if you ordered chili cheese fries and you didn't like them, it's okay to regret it because then you're not going to order them again, is what Hank is basically saying.

Hank: Yes.

Emma: I just put it in the analogy of chili cheese fries, which I don't like.

Hank: Yeah, except the problem with your, the problem with your analogy is that chili cheese fries are amazing.

Emma: Ugh, you like everything I hate. I would just have the dill pickles, I'm fine. I would also say really quickly before we move on to the news of this week's podcast, I don't know if it's weekly or monthly or what by now, I would also just really quickly say that even though I say it's okay to regret things, don't live in that regret like you said. I think it is important to be able to keep The past separate from who you are now like. let your past experience affect who you are today in a way that means you know you won't do that bad thing again. but don't just don't don't dwell on them too much. you know i mean i know that's something i said. i don't like it when people say that but i completely agree with Emma that i i personally do believe in fate i believe in destiny. i do believe that everything is planned out.

I believe it's all mapped out for you, and I understand that might not be something that a lot of people agree with. But that's the belief that I have, and it keeps me going. I try not to preach about it.

But it's a case of you have to be able to say, that was then, and this is now. It's going to keep coming back to haunt you, but over time you do get less. Cringey Just write it out, embrace it and just say I'm not doing that again.

Draw a line under it and just keep going. You know?

Hank: Yeah, absolutely.

Emma: That went on, sorry. I thought I knew what I was talking about and then I just had like a ten second silence while I was trying to buffer. I was buffering my brain. That's why I call it.

Hank: That's why we can edit podcasts.

Emma: I think it's time for the news.

Hank: It is! Hank. It is. Do you have any AFC Wimbledon news for us?

Emma: Oh, I do. Basically, AFC Wimbledon is a football club and it's my favourite football club. It's one that I have personally followed for all of my life. I've definitely heard of it before John did something with them.

Although I would like to say, and I think this is very obvious to anyone who lives in the UK and listens to this, no one has heard of AFC Wimbledon, apart from John Green. No one on this planet. I live in this country, and I've never heard of them.

In the UK, football, pretty much, if everyone in the UK who likes football supports a club in the Premier League, which is like the big league. You know, I don't know what you guys would call it, but like the big players.

Hank: Yeah, the big league.

Emma: You know, you've got like the Miami Dolphins, I think, right? Is that a thing?

Hank: Chicago Bulls? I honestly don't know.

Emma: I don't know, but that kind of thing, right? Everyone who likes football will support the club that is closest to them, even if it's not close to them at all. I'm from, like I said, a place called Essex, and the closest geological club to us... You're right there, dear.

The closest geological club to us is a club called West Ham, West Ham United. And it's nowhere near me, it's miles out, but it's the closest club that's in the Premier League. So most people in Essex will support West Ham. you know very little people support small clubs. so I think it's great that John's doing that genuinely I really do but no one's heard of them. so so that's the thing. if you're in anything below like league one which is I think there I think AFC Wimbledon's in league two or something. yeah no one watches and no one cares.

I worry that John is the only person who turns up to matches but I will tell you the news. about them which I I went down to AFC Wimbledon myself and I got this news direct from the source. I clicked the link that you emailed me. So basically, from what I can gather from this week's exciting AFC Wimbledon news, which hopefully John will be able to clarify in the next podcast, from what I can gather AFC Wimbledon put in a request for planning permission to build a new stadium.

A few months ago, November last year, and they have been recently making a couple of changes to the original plans that they submitted. So I guess they would have said, this is the stadium we want to build. Oh wait, no, we're going to do this to it.

And I think by the looks of it, there were a few people around the local area who lived near the stadium who were kind of like, well, we don't want you to do this. So I think they've made some revisions and it's causing some sort of controversy. That John himself is going to fly out and make some videos with the people who are upset about this development.

And basically convince them that it's a good. thing. That's what I heard. John, I'm sure you'll be able to do that.

But basically a statement on AFC Wimbledon's official website revealed that the London Borough of Merton will shortly be conducting a further consultation and adding this additional information to the council website.

Hank: I love this so much. It's so exactly as weird and esoteric as normal AFC Wimbledon news.

Emma: Is this actually news? Is this a thing that John cares about?

Hank: As far as I can, I looked, I tried to find some AFC Wimbledon news and this is all I could find. that seemed like as close to news as I could get.

Emma: Although I would say... A very important point on this development of this stadium for a club that no one has heard of. The changes that have been made for the planning commission primarily relate to the basement, ground and podium level of the residential blocks, which I assume means that people live in the stadium. Which I would not recommend because football players practice all hours of the day and you don't want to be kicked in the head at five o'clock in the morning with the football.

The North South Street and the East Stand elevation of the stadium. So I can also imagine that they just want it to be really, really tall on one side. So it's more like a slope.

I mean, they're gonna probably have problems with the football rolling down it. But hopefully what they're, I think what they're probably planning on doing is putting The away team's goal on the bottom of the slope. I can imagine that's a good move.

Because then the ball is going to build up momentum and just roll in. Which is clever. I genuinely hope that the Dons, which is their colloquial name, are given this permission.

As a lifelong fan of the Dons, I can only hope that this is the start of something fantastic for the Dons. 

Hank: In Mars News for the first time, Opal has been found in a Martian meteorite. The meteorite in question was blasted off the surface of Mars millions of years ago and finally fell into Egypt in 1911. The tiny slice of the meteorite provided to scientists for analysis was found to contain fire opal, a mineral that tends to form here on Earth around hot springs. Hot springs, of. course, are perfect places for life to form and opal could, in fact, And that gemstone, Opal, is likely created by the interaction of water with silica.

I googled Mars really quickly.

Emma: It's a planet near us. Which is kind of hot and dry. It's basically a planet of Utah. But it looks hot, it's red.

Hank: That's not...

Emma: But it hasn't got any water on it. Correct. But if it hasn't got any water, it must have gone somewhere. Because they said that there was once proof that there used to be water on Mars.

Hank: There's ice on Mars. There's ice underneath the surface of Mars and there's ice at the poles.

Emma: Which kind of makes you think, okay, well the water's evaporated because it's hot.

Hank: No, it's frozen. It's frozen on the planet. It's still there. It's frozen.

Mars is sand. It looks like Utah. Yeah, it's below the surface.

Because on the surface, do you want to know? Do you want to know the answer to your question? I do!

Because I want it.

Emma: This saves you doing a slideshow on it.

Hank: So Mars does not have a magnetic field the way that Earth does, so Earth has. a molten core, or a molten mantle and a solid core, and the core spins around and it creates a magnetic field which deflects a lot of high-energy solar particles so that we are safer on the surface of Earth.

Emma: Oh, that's cool. So we have like a barrier. Yes. It's just like, no, go away, evil particles.

And I'm guessing Mars doesn't have that.

Hank: Yes, we also have a higher, a much higher gravity. We're like three times more gravity here on Earth than they have, they, than Mars has. I don't know who they are. The, so those two, those two factors combined, the fact that Mars does not have a magnetic field because it does not have a liquid mantle.

What kind of mantle does it have? It's solid. Just solid all the way through.

Mars is... I think. Actually, we're not sure about this.

We know that Mars doesn't have a magnetic field, but we're not sure whether or not there are still some molten bits of Mars, because actually, the most recent eruptions of the volcanoes of Mars were not that long ago, geologically speaking.

Emma: No, no, no, no, no. See, no, this is where. you're totally wrong. If it's a solid core, how do they have liquid magma? Huh?

I could answer that. I should go work at NASA. There's gotta be liquid stuff in there if you've got a volcano with stuff spreading out of it.

Hank: Well, the volcano hasn't been active in a few million years, but I'm not sure how long it was, but it could be. 

Emma: If we can slingshot Philae onto a comet, why can't we drill into Mars?

Hank: Well, maybe someday we will be able to.

Emma: Well, why can't we now, Hank?

Hank: Why haven't you done this, Hank? I haven't finished explaining to you why there's no water on the surface of Mars. Fine, fine, explain. So those two things combined, because there is no magnetic field and because the Because the gravity isn't as significant, solar wind can actually like blows the atmosphere regularly, like knocks the atmosphere off the planet and into interstellar space.

So there's a very thin atmosphere on Mars, it's very low pressure, so any water on the surface of Mars would, even if it were ice in a lot of cases, would immediately sublimate, so go straight from the liquid form to. the gas form and then be in the atmosphere and then get knocked off by the solar wind. So all of the first layers of Martian dust is dry, but we found that below the first few layers, where the atmosphere isn't interacting with it as much, there actually is quite a lot of ice.

Emma: But right now it's like a sauna.

Hank: It's very cold sauna with absolutely no water vapor because it's all been knocked into space.

Emma: Just take a water bottle and just enjoy yourself. Get a tan. I think it sounds great. I might go.

If you're too scared to go, Hank, because you're too scared. I would go. I'd go to Mars.

Whatever.

Hank: All right. I hope that you do.

Emma: It's probably kind of bad.

Hank: The internet would be a problem on Mars. You'd have to bring it with you.

Emma: Okay. That's a problem. I don't know how to set up servers. Another quick question about Mars.

You say it has no magnetic field. Could we resurrect life on Mars if we just made a spinning ring of magnets and spun it round real quick?

Hank: It would help. I don't think that life would... We just.

Emma: took lots of fridge magnets, stuck them together, wrapped it around Mars. Like slightly bigger than Mars. Bigger circumference because then it can actually go round it like a Saturn ring. Yeah, and we just spun it round somehow.

Like if we just like flew a comet into it because we can control comets now. I just decided. Would that help?

Because I mean then it could not call that radiation and then maybe in a few million years grass could grow and then we could have nice sheep on Mars and it would be nice.

Hank: That is, I mean one of the big concerns in the world of how do we travel to Mars is the radiation because it is not a safe place for humans to exist on the surface of. so possibly if we went to Mars we would certainly have to have radiation proof structures and even maybe build John, John, John, John, John. You know I don't I don't well. when it first happened I mean if you're talking about like right in the in the basement of Chernobyl where like the The bad stuff was that's definitely worse, but you know around Chernobyl I'm. not sure if now Mars is more radioactive than than the surroundings of Chernobyl. I the Chernobyl exclusion zone as they call it the area where you can't go because it's still radioactive. 

Emma: You know they're sending people to to Mars right on a mission. no no you you said they were sending people. there is a thing they're sending people to Mars.

Hank: ah I don't know like there's. there's this. there's this basically a private organization that says they want to yeah but they don't have enough money to do it.

Emma: yes but you just said that you pretty much fried her crisp.

Hank: so why would they do that?

Emma: that's stupid. well I mean Sorry.

Hank: If you have radiation shielding, you could make it. I think that part of the deal with that mission is that it's a one-way trip and they expect the first people to go to Mars to also be the first people to die on Mars, which is not how the government would do it, and also not how I would do it, and also not how I think we should do it.

Emma: They should put a dog on there first, like the Russians did.

Hank: that Sputnik thing. Send a dog first.

Emma: Oh, that one. I thought it was the Sputnik. I don't know. If they send a dog and the dog lives, then we go.

Or possibly send a multitude of dogs first.

Hank: And then a horse. What I like is the idea of just puppies. Just Mars puppies. Oh no!

Emma: Deep fried puppies! No! Crispy puppies! That's sad.

Hank: Well, maybe we'll genetically engineer the puppies so that they'll live safely and happily on the surface of Mars. And then we'll go there in, you know, 30 years time and it'll just be covered in small dogs. It'll be great.

Emma: Another real thing. You said Mars is cold.

Hank: Correct. Mars is definitely cold.

Emma: But radiation warms you up and crisps you.

Hank: So, yeah, radiation. It can.

Emma: If you've not used a microwave, it warms things up. And if you've never held your phone to your ear for five minutes, it's hot. So, like, surely they cancel each other out. It's like having a really long phone call.

Like this one, right? This whole podcast is me just asking you why Mars is and why Mars does. 

Hank: Who Mars are? We should do a new. podcast. It's called Who Mars Are with Hank and Emma, where you just ask me questions about Mars and I get increasingly exasperated.

Emma: Oh, oh, oh, I had a question, a genuine question. that's not just really stupid. Do you remember I sent it to you on Twitter? I said if they exiled the club members of AFC Wimbledon to Mars, who would be more mad, you or John? 

Hank: I wouldn't be mad at all.

Emma: Really? Because the first people to colonize Mars would be a relevant sports team, not leading scientists. I mean, John would be pretty mad if all of the football players for AFC Wimbledon were exiled to Mars. They would have had to do something real bad.

But I just don't know who would be more mad.

Hank: I think John would really be very angry that AFC Wimbledon lost their team, and I would just be sort of happy that anybody, like any old person, as long as they're given the proper equipment, can do some good science. It's just the football. I would be upset. I actually, you're right, I might be more upset.

And I think that a lot of people would be very, very upset at just sort of the unnecessary expense of such an exile.

Emma: Yeah, but I'm asking you who would be more upset. You and John. See what I mean? Because you'd be upset for the sake of humanity, for the kick in the face to science about it not being done properly, the, you know, the lack of, you know, the loss of life and then, you know, not being able to, they're not scientists so they can't report their findings, they're just, the first humans on Mars are just there for no reason, you'd be pretty mad.

Hank: I think you'd be mad. Yeah, I'd be pretty mad.

Emma: I'd be pretty mad. But John would lose his entire football team. So that's a tough question. I suppose John, I suppose John would be more mad.

Because I mean, how mad can you really get?

Hank: Yeah, we'd have to have him here to answer that question. We'd have to compare our levels of anger.

Emma: Yeah, I hope John addresses this.

Hank: I hope so as well. Sweet! I think that's important.

Emma: That's the news section, plus all of my questions about Mars. I could have probably googled it, really, but you. were here, and I watch SciShow, and I like your voice, so I thought it would be easier just to ask you.

Hank: Definitely.

Emma: Yeah, I didn't have to pay for my own SciShow episode. I just got you right here.

Hank: I win. Sweet! Thank you, Emma, for guest hosting this episode of Dear Hank and John, and thank you all to the people who are listening. I hope that it was enjoyable.

Emma: Yeah, it was good. And if you'd like to support SciShow, then you can go to patreon.com for SciShow, and I just use that outro on everything you do.

Hank: I'm sorry. I can't help it. And if you want to keep getting smarter with us, you can go to youtube.com slash scishow and subscribe.

Emma: That's the one! I like that one! I had it in real life! That's definitely clipped on the mic, but that was me genuinely freaking out that I heard you say that.

I'm gonna ask you to do that at Vidcon. Are you at Vidcon? Are you at Vidcon?

Hank: I'm gonna ask you to do that! I'm gonna ask you to film it, that's so good. Sorry.

Emma: Yeah, you might wanna just do the. intro, the outro for this, cause I don't even know the difference between intro and outro apparently.

Hank: Oh, I'm so happy now! Our theme music is by Gunnarolla, the podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins, who's a big Emma Blackery fan, I'll add. Can you say hi to Nick for us? Hey Nick, how's it going?

Sorry, I'm so happy. Hank and John at gmail.com.