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I can't promise these are any good.

Also, I completely failed to mention how the 2013 Hungry Games also factored heavily into this idea! That's here:

Recipe here:
1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
3/4 cups melted Hershey kisses (I used almost an entire 11oz bag)
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
1/8 cup dark unsulphured molasses
1 egg
1/4 cup Sriracha

Click through to my original blog post for the method:

Song is "Habanera" by Bizet. On repeat, like, fifty times.
Hey everybody! Today I'm going to be making chocolate Sriracha cookies! You might think that sounds absolutely disgusting, and you might be right but we'll let the judges be the judge of that. I don't know who the judge is. I probably won't take these to work at all. Probably don't know who is going to pawn them off to my intern. 

Before we do that. I have this amazing mug that I just feel like I need to share with the world at any opportunity. It's the Exodus. You have your Moses over here and in front of the Red Sea. And I have my espresso over here and you just keep your eyes on the prize guys. Here you go. Here you go. Whoa!

And all the Jews were saved! 

Except that someone pointed out last time I talked about mug is that when it cools down and the water comes back in and everybody drowns again. It's an endless cycle. I bet there's a deeper theological meaning we can infer from all of this. But in the meantime, I love this mug. I've had it for like seven years and it never gets old. Me and Moses are gonna make some cookies together today. Geeeah. 

Chocolate Sriracha cookies. Now there is actually a reason for this. I didn't just make this out of nowhere. But last April I posted a recipe that I had created. Like it struck me in a moment of clarity. Like "Ah! I could make a chocolate Sriracha cookie!" And the original recipe on my Tumblr had bacon added into it, but I'm going to old off on the bacon today. Because I feel like I need to concentrate a little bit more on the relationship between the chocolate and the Sriracha and kinda figure that out a little bit before I go totally crazy and introduce something nutty like bacon. Also a lot of people who tried the recipe at home said that they didn't really feel like the bacon added much. The Sriracha is pretty salty on it's own, so you don't really need the bacon. But I added like a maple bacon so it was this sweet saltiness of kinda like a hot and sour soup a little bit. But not at all, actually. 

One of my first jobs was working in a chocolate factory. And not like a Willy Wonka chocolate factory. But that would have been awesome. And it was a chocolate shop, and we would make our own truffles and we would make little turtles, pecan dipped chocolate things. And we would make gelato and kettle corn and candied pecans and all kinds of amazing amazing things. I gained like literally 50 pounds in like 6 months working there. And it was awesome. Worth every pound. And it took me like 10 years to work off, but it doesn't matter. 

I eat a lot healthier now. And by a lot healthier, I mean I don't eat 16 cheesecake truffles everyday anymore. But I could. 

But anyway, so one of the truffles that we had at this little chocolate shop was a chili chocolate truffle. And at the time I thought it was disgusting. I thought it was the most foul thing that we sold. But people loved it. And after I discovered Sriracha, my love, right over here, I put this on everything. And maybe it's because I eat really bland food or I'm a terrible chef, but I have a bottle here and I have a bottle at my office. And I put it on everything. And so why not also put it into baked goods. 

So anyway, thinking about that chili chocolate truffle, I was like "well, if you can do a truffle, why can't do you a cookie?" So that's what we're going to do today. 


So, dry ingredients first. We're going to add one and a half cup flour to a bowl. One half cup, two half cup, three half up. Thee quarter teaspoon baking soda. One, two, three. One half teaspoon baking powder. And one half teaspoon salt. And I'm gonna probably just do a quarter teaspoon salt since the Sriracha is pretty salty and I'm also gonna be using salted butter. So that's that. 

There's your dry ingredients. Whisk 'em. Whisk it. Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. And it's whisked. 

We're gonna do a double boiler! Double boiler time!

If you don't know what a double boiler is, it's pretty much just the act of boiling water in a saucepan and putting a glass bowl on top of it. So it's a way to do things like melt butter and chocolate without burning them at the same time. So that's what we're going to do. Also I use double boiler system all of the time because while I have a microwave right there, it doesn't work. 

You're just gonna fill it up about halfway with water. Then you want to take a bowl that's an appropriate size so that when you put it in the saucepan it's not touching the bottom of the saucepan. In fact, you want some space between the top of the water so you get this convection thing going on. But don't use plastic or something that can melt. That would be terrible. Also heat convection doesn't really work like that. 

One half cup butter. Doo do dododo do. That's my butter. Anyway, I put in one half cup. One half cup of butter. Then three quarter cup chocolate. One, two, three. Annnd some extra for good measure. And some extra for good measure. 

You're gonna want to stir it because the part touching the bowl are gonna be melting more quickly, so you wanna mix it all up. 

This is also how you can temper chocolate. If you ever want to use melted chocolate, it's better to temper it rather than like melt it in a saucepan because it's gonna burn. And then when it cools, if it cools too quickly, you're gonna get what is called a bloom. And the bloom is the like white streaks. That's the butter that's kind of surfacing, coming to the surface of the chocolate and separating out. All of it tastes the same, but it get a little dry and it doesn't look very nice. So we used to throw out, you know, well not throw out. I would eat all the bloomed chocolate when I worked at this place. 

Working at a chocolate factory was pretty sweet, but there weren't any like candy cane fields or walls that you could lick. Well, I mean, you could do it, but people would probably look at you weird. They probably didn't taste very good. 

So that's all melted. Next, we're going to make our own brown sugar. Brown sugar is essentially just white sugar with molasses introduced. You know, if you're gonna do it yourself you get a much fresher taste, you get a better texture. It's a lot fluffier than the store-bought, prepackaged brown sugar. But you also have to think about the fact that you're introducing a liquid to the granulated white sugar. And that's going to, you know, you have to equate for the runniness. Also, the molasses has a little bit of sweet in it. So you might want to scale back a little bit more on the white sugar that you put in. But you want to make sure you have enough sugar for the recipe. So, you know, I don't think about it that much and I just make my own. Cause that's what I do. 

One quarter cup, two quarter cup, three quarter cup. An eighth of a cup of un-sulfered molasses. And I don't have an eighth cup. I do have a quarter cup, so I'm going to fill this up halfway. 

One eighth cup. Looks about right. I love you, Grandma's Gold Standard All Natural Molasses. So good. 

A fork. Fork me! HA! Don't. 

Okay. I'm down here. Okay. You just want to fork it together. So like you can stir it to begin with. Stirring, stirring. And then it'll start to chunk up. So get your - just attack the little globules of molasses with your fork and push it on through. Mix it up. 

Look at it! Isn't it beautiful? It's like golden. Smells so good. Just want to eat it off the fork! Shouldn't do that. It's just sugar. Oh! I could put some in my coffee. It's like a sunset. It's just like the morning breeze on the prairie. It's one of the most beautiful colors I can imagine. It's just like golden. Amazing. So anyway, this is your homemade brown sugar. You will never buy store-bought brown sugar again. Ever.

Okay. Now I have this bowl. I'm gonna add my chocolate and butter into this. Pour it in. Oh, yeah. I just forgot. Combine the sugar and the chocolate and the butter. Oh goodness gracious. It's like chocolate lava. 

I'm gonna add the egg. Whoops. I got eggshell. 

It's so beautiful. 

After adding the egg, now it's time to add the Sriracha! Now instead of a quarter cup, let's do slightly less. Alright, so this is slightly less than a quarter cup of Sriracha chili sauce.  Aw geeze. 

Now I'm going to fold in the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. So that just basically means that I'm going to mix them together. And yeah, this dough is pretty soft. Because there are so many wet ingredients in it. And I'm sure I could fool around with the dry ingredients more too so it would be a little more solid. But then at the same time, you don't want it to be too tough. Also, it's pretty squishy right now because I added a bunch of melted ingredients. So. Look at that!

It's pretty well incorporated. And I'm going to wrap it in plastic wrap and stick it my fridge for at least an hour so all those melty ingredients can kinda cool down. And then, we will bake it. Look at it! Cookie dough. I probably got it all over my face. Not bad. I can't tell if it's good. But I can tell you it's not bad. 

So, back to cookies. Cookie baking time. First thing we're gonna do is preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit  It's preheating. There we go.

Something that I forgot to include in the instructions is that you want a little bit extra of granulated white sugar. Cause we're gonna roll the little cookie balls in it. It makes a nice sugary crust. it's delightful. 

We have our dough. And it's a little cakey. It's a little fudgey, but it'll be okay. So I'm just gonna grab just little chunks at a time. Probably like this size. Just like a large marble size. And then we're just gonna roll 'em. And then I'm gonna roll 'em in the sugar. And then you're gonna have these nice little balls. Little dough balls. So just do that. For like the next twenty minutes. I washed my hands, you know, for you at home who are wondering when the last time I had my hands in something dead. 

Coming up this week on Brain Scoop, filming set wise, I'm super excited because - I don't even know if I should tell you guys about it because it's mindblowing. 

"Have you seen it?!" And I was like "what are you talking about?" "Have you seen the two headed calf?!" I'm like "I think I could have remembered if I had seen a two headed calf."

We're gonna make an episode all about ant sex. 

We're filming star stuff. He researches, and dates, the universe. He doesn't like date it. He doesn't like take it out to dinner. He dates the universe and our solar system. And nanodiamonds. 

So these are gonna go in for - I put on my recipe seven to nine minutes. I'm gonna check them after seven and see how they're doing. 

Whoa! Cookies! Cookies!

Not bad.

I usually let them sit on the hot pan to kind of - and I wave my arms over them as if that does anything. 

So they're chocolate Sriracha cookies. I'm gonna eat it.

It's got an interesting flavor. It's a little bit doughy on the inside. But not bad. 

I might leave the next one in the oven for another minute. 

But they're like delightfully sweet, but then they're spicy. And then they have the sugar crust on 'em. 

I give it two thumbs up.

Thanks for watching! Bye bye now! See you later. Call sometime soon. Let me know how you're doing. Want a cookie?