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It was so exciting to talk with another sex educator on the red couch. Stevie Boebi has done incredibly positive work around sexuality awareness and acceptance. She's knowledgeable and curious and super fun. I would have a hundred dinners with her if she was up for it.

For all of these reasons and more, I wanted to know her experiences of and recommendations for vulva confidence. How is she so secure? What can all of us do to improve our sexual self-image?

Here are the videos from the introduction:

Stevie's YouTube channel is:

The book I mention is called Petals by Nick Karras, website here:

And the Great Wall of Vagina is by Jamie McCartney, website here:

Lindsey can be found in these places:
(t-shirts, sweatshirts, posters, clits, masturbating monsters coloring books)

The Real Matthew Gaydos can be found in these places:
TWITTER & INSTAGRAM @matthewgaydos & @mattandmatty
Lindsay: This is Stevie Boebi, and we're gonna talk about vulva confidence.

Lindsay: Stevie creates amazing content on YouTube. She talks about sex, relationships, LGBT issues, and her body. She's most well known for her video on why vaginas smell and this one on Bria and Chrissy's channel "Gay Men Touch Vagina for the First Time!" It's all made me very curious. How is she so vulva confident? 

Stevie: I love pussy, specifically mine. 

Lindsay: How do you think that you have come to be so confident. enough to, like, show people?

Stevie: I don't know. People ask me that all the time. It's not just my vagina. Just confidence in general. They're like, have you ever felt bad about yourself? And I'm like, "No!"

Lindsay: That's awesome.

Stevie: I really have no idea.

Lindsay: Stevie says she's been comfortable with her body for as long as she can remember. How? What did she do to cultivate this mindset.

Stevie: I just, like, leave it alone. 

Lindsay: That's a great answer.

Stevie: Yeah.

Lindsay: Okay, you leave it alone. Like.

Stevie: I stare at it a lot. I think that's how I take care of it. No douching!

Lindsay: No douching.

Lindsay: Douching, or squirting fluid into the vagina to rinse it out, can actually increase the risk of infections, inflammation, and complications. It flushes out the good bacteria.

Stevie: Wait, so what products do you think are okay to use? What's healthy to use?

Lindsay: I had to think about it for a moment, but here's what I've come up with. Should: body safe toys, condoms and other birth control, menstrual cups and healthy tampons, clean fingers and hands, medical devices, and some lubes. The vagina, like the eyes, cleanses itself, but using your hands to let water rinse off all the folds and pulling back the clitoral hood to remove smegma will also help.

Shouldn't: I do not recommend using "feminine hygiene products". Stay away from sugar, alcohol, glass bottles, things with sharp edges or scents, douches unless you need to flush out something worse like spermicide or yeast infections that are irritating your innards, and then anything with germs on it.

What else can we do to boost vulva confidence, Stevie?

Stevie: Practice, I think. 

Lindsay: What are they practicing?

Stevie: You have to practice the confidence, right?

Lindsay: Oh, okay.

Stevie: I think that with anything, it's like a habit that you form. Like, every day wake up and be like, "My vagina smells and is great!" Right? 

Lindsay: Smells, yes.

Stevie: Like positive affirmation?

Lindsay: Tastes great, looks great.

Stevie: I'm just like, "You pretty, girl."

Lindsay: (laughs/cheers) That's the best!

Stevie: Like, compliment, you know?

Lindsay: Yeah! Okay.

Lindsay: Here's some things you could say or think about your vulva.
- I'm curious about you
- I don't know how I feel yet.
- I'm thankful you exist.
- You're special to me. 
- I like you.
- I'm going to take good care of you.
Research shows that positive affirmations don't only improve your self esteem, they also serve as a reserve when your esteem is threatened.

Lindsay: So you have seen other vulvas.

Stevie: Yes. Lots of them.

Lindsay: Do they detract from your vulva confidence at all?

Stevie: Oh, no. That's like one of my first tips is like, don't compare your bodies to each other. 'Cause like, why? What? I don't understand. They're all so different.

Lindsay: These photographs are from Nick Karras's book Petals, a collection of vulva portraits, which vividly show the incredible diversity of lips, hoods, vaginas, and pubes. YouTube gave us permission to feature these for the very purpose of educating ourselves about the human body. Like Stevie emphasizes, there isn't one way for vulvas to be. Every single one of them is unique.

These images are from the Great Wall of Vagina exhibit by Jamie McCartney, a three-dimensional way to understand our genitals complexly and hopefully improve our confidence in them. Understand your vulva. Care for it. Be proud of it.

Lindsay: Thanks for coming and talking about your vulva with me.

Stevie: Yeah!

Lindsay: It's awesome. If you wanna check out Stevie's channel, you can find it in the description or here. And if you wanna keep learning things about sexuality, stay curious.

Stevie: They're all so different, and they're all beautiful.

Lindsay: Yeah, like faces.

Stevie: Yeah.

Lindsay: And you cannot tell from someone's face what their vulva is gonna look like.

Stevie: Really?

Lindsay: Oh my gosh! Do you think you can?

Stevie: (laughs) I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

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