Good morning, John, it's Thursday, September 27th. I have some bad news. My throat is starting to get kind of raw, I have a sinus headache, and my nose is starting to get kind of drippy, so I think that I'm getting sick. Also, it hurts to speak. (coughs)


But unfortunately this whole thing is about speaking. Textless, without text, meaning speaking only. I suppose it could be like charades. I could tell you what's going on but with my hands.

(Does gestures of writing, clocks passing time, wiping sweat from brow, and frantic typing)

That's right, I have a deadline, and I'm freaking out about it. The good news is that the person who I have the deadline for has given me a punishment for not meeting my deadline, which I haven't not yet met the deadline, but I think I'm going to do the punishment just in case.

The punishment for not meeting my deadline is to compose a thesis on who I would rather fight: Helen Hunt in an after-school special on PCP or the new Bionic Woman before she adjusts to her implants. It's this television show on NBC apparently. I went to watch it online, which I'm sure has contributed to my delinquency as far as the deadline goes.

But I did it nonetheless because I'm sick, and I feel bad, and I have cloudy cold brain anyway, so it's hard to write. And I have to be witty, and being witty is hard when you have cloudy cold brain!

PCP has been shown to allow people to unleash a great deal of strength. It's generally thought of as being beyond the physical norm while the Bionic Woman has been in some way enhanced by something that does not and could not as far as I can tell exist, possibly nanobots? I don't know; biologically it doesn't make any sense at all to me. Anyway, she's been enhanced, and she seems to be much stronger than I think Helen Hunt would be on PCP.

But there's one hazard that would be roughly equal for both the Bionic Woman and Helen Hunt on PCP, and that is the danger of being hurled upon. Both adjusting to bionic implants and PCP have been known to cause a great deal of nausea, and so in that case, if I could have gone with one that wasn't gonna puke on me, I would have gone with that one. But since they're both probably gonna puke on me, I'm going to have to make my decision based on other criteria.

Now based on intelligence I'm going to base my opinion on how much I'm going to get the crap beat out of me, but frankly, seeing Helen Hunt down there in the schoolyard dirt thrashing around in the broken glass, there's something different about that than being flipped onto my head by a nauseated confused young orphan.

I believe the best outcome of either fight would be me consoling the young woman on the ground as they cried through their confusion and disorientation. And based on what I've seen of the Bionic Woman, I would rather comfort Helen Hunt.

What can I say? She makes my heart do acrobatic stunts. She faces the brunt of the twister of my burning want. Helen Hunt. Yeah, I'm mad about her.

So if nobody minds too much this is going to be a little bit of a short video because I have to go back to writing, and my throat hurts. Hopefully, I will be feeling better soon, especially before Wednesday because I would really hate to have to sing a song with this voice. But we will have to wait and see. John, I will see you tomorrow.