Good morning Hank, it's Friday, February 9th, and it's laundry day. (shows washer/dryer) You will note that we have the world's smallest washing machine. It was the only washing machine slash dryer that was ever designed exclusively for Lilliputians. Let's see how many clothes it will fit! One shirt, one pair of boxers, one pair of pants, two pairs of, wait, what's this? (pulls out a book) Oh, it's The Naked and the Dead in My Pants! Two socks, one pair of boxers, and, it's completely full, in fact it's kind of overstuffed. I might have to take out one of the socks. Hank, I talked to Brotherhood 2.0 resident mathematician Daniel Biss and it turns out that there's a huge gaping flaw in your mathematical theorem about old people and dying and banjo concerts. The problem is this: A 70 year old may live, on average, to be 83 years old, but that doesn't mean that a 71 year old is just as likely to die as an 82 year old; in fact the vast majority of people are going to die closer to 82 than they are to 71. If you want to see a person die at a banjo concert, the key is not to go to banjo concerts that feature older people, the key is to go to longer banjo concerts; like thirteen year long banjo concerts. Hank, several Brotherhood 2.0 commenters have been asking three questions about my new book: "What's it called," "When is it going to come out," and "What's it about?" I am now happy to answer all of those questions, although I'm going to answer one of them with a long series of lies. The book is called Paper Towns, it will be published in September of 2008, it's about life in an orphanage in Imperial Japan in the 17th century. It's about the world origami championship of 2004. It's the story of a special boy and his special dog. I don't wanna ruin it for you, but the dog dies. It's about an ambiguously gendered child growing up in a Greek American family. It's about Hamlet. It's a historical novel in which I imagine the teenage years of Emily Dickinson. It's about a face that is half in the dark and half in the light. It's about coming to terms with the fact that even though sometimes even though you eat the points you're supposed to eat you still don't get less fat. It's about when the last ding dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will be one more sound, that of man's puny exhaustible voice, still talking. It's about a girl name Becca who has a very happy birthday! Hank, I'll be watching you on Monday from lovely Washington, DC. See you then!