Yeshmin: I'm here with Ham Green.

Hank: It's Hank.  How are you today, Yesh--

Yeshmin: I'm fine, Ham. 

Hank: I've never--we've never met.  It's Hank.

Yeshmin: Ham.

Hank: Okay.  Ham.  Sir, I do love you.

Yeshmin: Well, I'm a big fan of yours, too.  I haven't seen any of your videos, but I hear they're pretty good.

Hank: Your glasses are really dirty.  They're, like, it's just, it's distracting.  I don't know if you've ever--

Yeshmin: Is it better?  Is this better?  If I do this?

Hank: Yeah, just smush it around, yeah. 

Yeshmin: Is that better?

Hank: Have you ever cleaned your glasses?

Yeshmin: I don't need to.  Were you named after the Dr. Seuss poem?  The Green--The Green Ham--

Hank: No, I was named actually--

Yeshmin: I knew him. 

Hank: Yeah?

Yeshmin: He was a good poet and a good kisser.  We had a few dates.

Hank: Theodore Geisel?

Yeshmin: Now wait a minute. 

Hank: Yeah, what?

Yeshmin: Not Dr. Seuss. 

Hank: Oh.

Yeshmin: Dr. Joyce Brothers.  She liked black men.  That's why they called her Brothers.

Hank: Where'd you get your cardigan, Yeshmin?

Yeshmin: I get it--I have--there's a nice store near me, it's called The Sensation Army or something like that. 

Hank: I think Salvation.

Yeshmin: Salvation! 

Hank: Yes, salvation, yeah, got it. 

Yeshmin: The Salvation Army.  Beautiful store.

Hank: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeshmin: They got a lot of good stuff there.

Hank: I spent my whole college there.  They've got--

Yeshmin: They got good stuff. 

Hank: Can you say hi to my brother for me? 

Yeshmin: Yes.  Hi to your brother for you.

Hank: His name is John Green.  Can you say Good morning, John?

Yeshmin: Okay. 

Hank: Go.  Good morning, John.

Yeshmin: Oh, is it--is it time to talk with the thing? 

Hank: Your cue.    Yeshmin.

Yeshmin: Okay, Good morning, Johnathan, I'm here with your brother, Ham Green.  We're here at the Penis Arcade Expo.  What?

Hank: That was great.

Yeshmin: Did you like that?

Hank: I liked it!  I may cut it a little bit.

Yeshmin: Look at me, I'm a goddamn (?~1:48)

Hank: How's your store doing?

Yeshmin: Well, which one, I got a lot of stores.

Hank: Well, the restaurant. 

Yeshmin: The restaurant's pretty good.  You know, we only had four deaths this quarter, so it's a good quarter, you know?

Hank: How many people come?

Yeshmin: Six.  We had six people this quarter.

Hank: It's not a--not--you know, it's for extreme eating.

Yeshmin: One of 'em was a repeat customer though.  He came just about every day.  He works there, though, he's a chef.

Hank: Did he live?

Yeshmin: He's okay.

Hank: Okay.

Yeshmin: He coats his stomach with--he takes Pepto-Bismol tablets and it coats his stomach before he eats it, which is smart, because I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't eat there.  I tasted the food, it's horrible. 

Hank: Well, we can go anyway.  You can shout it out to your audience and have them come. 

Yeshmin: Okay. 

Hank: It's terrible! 

Yeshmin: Come eat the thing.  Good?

Hank: Yeah, that was great.  You're really good.  You're a really great pitchman. 

Yeshmin: You know, I'm pretty good with, you know, with the video making.  Don't forget to be acceptable.  That's his--that's his motto.

Hank: That's our slogan.  That's our slogan.

Yeshmin: Don't you forget to be acceptable, you son of a bitch.  That's what he does.

Hank: Yeshmin?

Yeshmin: That's what he says. 

Hank: Can I have a hug?

Yeshmin: You sure can.  Not from me, you son of a bitch.