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Last sync:2023-11-06 20:15
In which John eats a strawberry-flavored fat sandwich to show how disgusting Carl's Jr. really is (no matter what some youtubelebrities were paid to tell you).

Fast food is delicious. And then it destroys you.

Anyway, as annoying as it was to vomit strawberry-flavored fat sandwich, uploading this video was even more annoying. So hopefully it works now!


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good morning Hank, and welcome to Cooking with John, the show where we make and eat disgusting things!


In our last episode, you'll no doubt remember, I made and ate a Blenderized McDonald's Happy Meal.

Today, we're going to eat the nutritional equivalent of some Carl's Jr. specialty burger, but instead of eating the burger itself, we're going to eat its constituent parts. So, fat, corn syrup, salt, and of course, protein. Um, I got this, strawberry flavored protein because it was cheaper, so, that will probably be a regret of mine.

Also of course, a hamburger bun. I got the wheat buns because, y'know, I'm watching my figure.

So, we're gonna have a quarter cup of pure unadulterated Crisco fat, that is, really gross.

1 teaspoon of high fructose corn syrup, in the form of Ms. Butterworth.

And we're going to have 1 teaspoon of salt. And two scoops of soy protein. Strawberry flavored.

Now we're going to turn in on, and we're going to turn this into a delicious mush.

John: Do you think it's going to be better or worse than the Blenderized Happy Meal?

Yeti: Um, better.

John: Really?

Yeti: Yeah, just consistency wise.

John: The Blenderized Happy Meal was the worst event of my life.

Yeti: I think having the bun (John: Yeah.) as a, like, familiar element, (John: Right.) will help it considerably.

John: It's just a sandwich. Y'know, just a (Yeti: Yeah.) fat sandwich. (Yeti: Sandwich.)

Yeti: I kind of have a new fear.

John: What's your new fear?

Yeti: (laughing) I think you're going to like it.

John: You think I'm going to like it?

(John and Sarah laugh)

John: And I'm going to be like, "Baby, make me a fat sandwich! Strawberry flavored, please!" (Yeti laughs in background)

Time for the sexy closeup, Hank. Look at that beautiful fat sandwich.

Alright Hank, uh, I'm going to eat this.

Yeti: Describe it, John.

John: It's kind of delicious.


Yeti: That's what I thought you'd say!

John: Unfortunately, it's really good. The strawberry flavoring is amazing. And it's salty, and sugary, and fatty, mmm.

Okay Hank, I'm about halfway through my uh, my burger. Um, and, it is starting to taste pretty bad. Uh, that first bite was delicious, and now I feel kind of sick, but I'm just, I'm gonna power through.

(Yeti laughing)

It's really nasty now. It's really nasty now.

(voice over, frozen frame)

Uh, I'm just going to freeze it right there Hank, because a lot of young people watch our videos, and they don't need to see a 31 year old man having what is known in competitive eating circles as a reversal of fortune.

(end voice over)

Back to it. Oh god, the commitment. I love you nerdfighters!


Just like regular fast food, the first couple bites were delicious, and then it became progressively grosser, and then I vomited, and then I managed to continue eating.

To pay further penance, I will answer the first 317 questions asked in comments, particularly if they're at the Ning!

Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.