Hello.

I don't think there's anybody here, but that's ok. I promised that I would do a livestream every day of Pizzamas and I'm not going to let the fact that nobody's here in any way affect my doing a livestream every day of Pizzamas.

I made a commitment, and I'm going to keep the commitment. It might only be like a two-minute livestream, but I'm doing it. I'm making it-- Sam, Sam's here.

Hi Sam. And umm, boy what a day one of Pizzamas we've had over at pizzamas.com, y'all. This is ridiculous.

Umm, every- I mean, look, Hank and I, Hank and I are so lucky to be making YouTube videos at all having started in 2007. Like, the number of people who still get to do this who started in 2007 is so vanishingly small and we're so, so fortunate and we try never to take that for granted and remember that we're lucky and how good our jobs are, and how amazing this community is. But like, I did not expect that the biggest day in Pizzamas's eleven-year history would be today.

I would have expected that it would have been like 2014 or something when The Fault in Our Stars was a big deal. But here we are man. Pizzamas is crushing it this year.

I did shave off the moustache. No-- #NoRegrets. I hated it and I'm really glad that it's gone.

So yeah, today has been the biggest day in Pizzamas' history in terms of sales at pizzamas.com and it may end up being the biggest day in Pizzamas' history by a wide margin. And I think that's because the designs are so stinkin' good. Um, if you go over to pizzamas.com, and if you don't watch out, I'm gonna share my screen with you, but if you go over to pizzamas.com right now, you can just see that the quality of the t-shirts this year is stupid good.

There's me as a postage stamp with vaguely John Lennon-y, there's me at a pizza restaurant really cravin' pizza, there's this beautiful green t-shirt where I think it's a celebration of how we carry pizza together. We have to work together. I think it's a shirt about togetherness.

We've got this ridiculous LED-based "neon" sign, we've got a beautiful Andy Warhol inspired/pizza-inspired throw blanket. It's just--the stuff is so good this year, I think that's why it's done well. But I wanted to do a livestream first just to say thank you to Shannon and Hunter, and KB, and Christopher who just bought stuff at pizzamas.com in the last minute.

That's the other thing. We're getting like four orders a minute. It's crazy.

I'm just so grateful. So thanks to everybody who's bought stuff. Hank and I don't keep any of the money from Pizzamas because that would be inappropriate, you know?

Like, I think we all know that would be weird. But the money, some of it goes to support the artists who make the great stuff that we make. Some of it goes, of course, like part of it goes to help everybody at DFTBA, you know, make their salaries and everything.

But then all the like, profit, all the, you know, what for another company would be profit or royalties that would go to Hank and me, all of that goes to support better access to tuberculosis care. That's the special kind of emphasis that we're taking this year in our work with Partners in Health on Pizzamas. So, very grateful to them for being like, "Yeah, let's do it." You know, PIH has been so deeply involved in the world of TB for 30 years now.

I mean, in the '90s it was Partners in Health and Dr. Carole Mitnick at Harvard who proved that TB could-- multi-drug resistant TB could be cured in poor communities with basically the same cure rate that we see in you know, like the fanciest hospitals in Boston. Umm, so, ever since then they've been trying to expand access, especially to multidrug-resistant and extensively drug-resistant TB care, but also anybody with TB.

So, in addition to getting great stuff, the extra money goes to a good cause. There's so many great, there's so many other great things. There's this Barbie joke.

I mean, first off I find the bumper stickers this year just extremely weird and beautiful. "This is a pizza car," "My child is a Pizza John (Help)," "Honk if you love pizza," "This man ate my son," "Pizza John is real." I don't really get any of these jokes, but man are they intense and profound. That's kinda how I feel about Pizzamas in general. I don't understand it, but it's beautiful.

Umm, it's just gorgeous. So, yeah, just the best. "I am J-enough." Or "John-nough." (?) John-nough? John-nough.

John-nough. I'm enough, but I'm John. Umm, is one of the stickers in the sticker subscription.

And yes, you can cancel your sticker subscription whenever you want. No worries. One thing about DFTBA is we try really hard to make cancelling a subscription easy, because if you don't, you're kind of an evil company in my opinion.

There's also the Doctor Pepper bath bomb of course, which is shaped like pizza but smells like Doctor Pepper. And I am kind of looking forward to having a Doctor Pepper bath, I've never done that before. I've enjoyed Doctor Pepper a lot in my life but never in bath form.

So, yeah. So there's a few things that you can only get in the United States, I see some people in comments complaining about that, including the Chia, the Chia Pet. Which we can't call it a Chia Pet, I think we have to call it Chizza John.

So I didn't call it a Chia Pet, I called it a Chizza John. And it's not available outside of the United States for legal reasons, because it has seeds. (Laughs) You can't, you can't send something abroad with see-- I'm sorry. I just find it so funny.

You can't send something abroad that has seeds in it, so we can't send it. It's a very funny situation. Anyway, thanks to Melissa and Caitlin and Nicoletta and Kim and Zach and Mark and Andre and Elise and Abby and Jenny for all ordering in the last minute.

That's just crazy. Uh, so I just wanted to, I promised to do a livestream every day of Pizzamas. I don't actually know if I'm going to be able to do it because tomorrow night I'm going to be in Florida of all places.

I don't know how much you know about my relationship with Florida but I grew up there and it's complicated. One of my big fears-- I'll just tell you, I'll just be honest with you. One of my biggest fears in this world is dying in Florida.

Because they put where you died on your Wikipedia page, and if it says that I died in Florida, it's gonna make people think that I, like, lived in Florida for decades. And I know it doesn't really matter. Like, I don't think about any aspect of my legacy except whether my Wikipedia page is gonna die-- say I died in Florida.

But, I do think about that one. I don't even like believe in legacies, I think people who think about their legacies are like, uhh, their heads are in the wrong place, but I really don't want my Wikipedia page to say I died in Florida, so I gotta get in, have a great time, do a good job, and get out. And by the way, if I do die in Florida, just know that I'm really upset in whatever, whatever-- if there's anything beyond, know that I'm, like, permanently annoyed.

Uh, Jen (?) has promised to say, umm, if your Wikipedia says that we can edit it to say that he didn't live there. Which, which would be helpful, thank you. Thanks in advance.

But hopefully I'll make it out okay. If not, this will be like, um, yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have jinxed myself.

But anyway, I'm going to Florida tomorrow, so I don't know how I'm gonna do a, maybe it'll be a really late-night livestream, but umm, yeah. Megan's wearing their Pizza John soccer jersey, which is great. Love to see it.

I really like that Pizza John soccer jersey. It's funny, like every year there's such good stuff, that I, and then I see the new stuff from this year and I completely forget about the old stuff. But I recently did, I recently met up with some Nerdfighters in New York to talk about Partners in Health's work, and one of them was wearing one of the old really cool Pizza John designs.

And it was such a cool shirt, like there are a few shirts this year that feel that way, it's such a cool shirt that you just look at it and think it's a cool shirt, you don't even think about the fact that it's a Pizza John shirt at first. Umm, Stephanie's soccer jersey didn't fit. DFTBA will get you a new one.

They'll get you a better-- they'll get you a different size if you want a different size. Umm, I mean, it might be a little late now, but don't be afraid to do that in general. I feel like sometimes we're afraid to, like, contact customer service, but actually those-- that's what those folks do for a job.

Like, they like having a job and we have a great group of people at the DFTBA warehouse. The folks who work in customer service are awesome. So, I uh, do-- maybe it's a little late to reach out now, I don't know, they could probably still do it.

Yeah, alright so I wanted to answer some questions if y'all have any questions. Our customer serv-- oh look, it's Abby, Abby's here-- our customer service team IS so cool. Umm, I get compliments for my Pizza John shirts, the designs are always so good.

I know, right? Pizzamas.com, Austin. Umm, what are you talking about at University of Florida tomorrow?

It's a fireside chat, so like I'll talk about whatever the moderator wants me to talk about, but I mean if I had to guess, you know, Eileen, I would guess that I'm going to try to tilt the conversation a little bit toward infectious disease and the role that it plays in perpetuating inequality, and how, like, tuberculosis is both caused by poverty and a leading cause of poverty, and how these vicious cycles work to uhm make sure that the people who are most marginalized continue to receive the fewest resources and the least access to um technology and care.  And I don't know if I'm going to get to talk about that, so maybe I'll just talk about it tonight. But you know, we're so accustomed to thinking that people with wealth should or at least like there's something natural about people with wealth, uh, being able to access fundamentally better treatment or fundamentally better care, or better technology, than people with less, with fewer resources, that we never think about the fact that that's not actually the case. Like, there's nothing actually natural about that.

Nothing actually inevitable about it. Like there's no reason why we couldn't have a preferential healthcare option for the poor, instead of the current option where we have preferential healthcare options for the rich. Um, you know, it's mostly public resources that go into funding rich people's healthcare as well, not just uhm, not just the poor.

I don't know if I'll get to talk about that. So, I talked about it today instead, Eileen. But I don't know, I'm gonna talk about whatever they want me to talk about.

They're probably gonna want me to talk about book banning. Which I'm happy to talk about. Because there's been a lot -- my books have been banned very extensively in Florida.

Which is a bummer. It's especially a bummer because one of the people who's doing it in Orlando, like, I went to high school with. I remember them from high school.

Like, why, why're you doing that to me? It's a bummer. Can we get the cowboy barbie Pizza John as a shirt, please?

Maybe. I'll see what I can do about that. That's a good idea.

Uhh let me make a note. (typing sounds) Yeah, we'll see what happens tomorrow, how does that sound? Um, it won't be tonight though. Cuz Abby's not supposed to be working.

Uh, oh Zoe was sick today... but so happy to see how much people love the descriptions. The descriptions are amazing, so like if you go to pizzamas.com, each of the t-shirts -- I mean everything has a hilarious description, but --  the t-shirts are especially good.  Like, the um, the uh, it's hard to even pick a favorite. But the one that has my like uh, has my hair made out of like wheat and other plants, which is called the Pizza John Origin Shirt, I'll read you the description for that shirt.

Instead of saying what color it is or whatever, this is what it says: "There's a rustle in the wheat. Blurred movement out of the corner of your eye. Quickly, you turn, heart skipping, but it seems it was only the breeze gently stirring the field.

You let out a sigh of relief, but the breath catches on your teeth. There's something there, in the midst of the swirling grass. A figure, an old figure of the time when watches were kept nightly for fear of what was beyond the circle of fire light, catches your eye, and a word is whispered: Pizza." (laughs) So good.

So good. How does she do it? So good.

Uhm, copy-writing is I guess, the highest form of art. It has Shia LaBeouf vibes. It does.

Um, it does. It does. Uh.

You're walking in a field, there's no one around, and your hair is made of bread. Will more Pizzamas merch be added throughout the week. A little bit more, I think, well if we do that Barbie -- if we do that ' I am Johnough' shirt, John Cowboy shirt, that wou;d be one.

But yeah probably a little bit. We've never really done that before, but we're doing it this year just because things are going to sell out. Like, the blanekt's probably going to sell out, those neon signs are probably going to sell out, and so like, it'd be nice to have something that we can replace the things that have sold out with.

So I think there's a couple things in the hopper. But I actually don't know that much about what like Pizzamas stuff there is, because they keep me in the dark so I can have real reactions when I unbox the Pizzamas stuff. Like, I have not seen the designs before, and I feel like if I had seen them before, my reactions would feel super fake.

I'm not good at acting. As evidenced by the fact that I have been cut out of two movies that I had a cameo in. Um, and so they kinda keep me out of the loop and Hank does most of the design work with the team, and then I get to be genuinely surprised.

Like I was genuinely astonished by the neon sign. Um, and uh, all the -- all the designs and -- what else was the biggest surprise? Oh, the ch-- (laughs) I can't say Chia Pet.

Um, what I'm supposed to say instead of Chia Pet-- the uhm, plant ... made out of my face? plant thing made out of my face? That grows hair as in-- in plant form?  Um, yeah. That's uh-- that was phenomenal.

And I was deeply, deeply surprised.  Alright, people were asking for a poster of the pizzamas eras. That's a good idea as well. I'll make that note here.

Pizzamas Eras poster. (typing sounds) Alright. That's a good one. Thank you for these, thank you for these banger concepts.  I wish the mustache also grows plants.

I know, it would be better. Um, talk about TB at UF, do it. I probably will, I mean whether they give me the opportunity or not.

The barbie stickers are sold out? No way. Really?

We gotta.. we gotta fix that. Um... Let me see here.

Oh! They are sold out! Alright, I'll work on that.

Thank you for that. Barbie stickers, sold out. I'm just.. this is .... y'all are like my uh, my marketing team here. (laughs) You can still buy them through the app, apparently.

Um, Abby says they aren't sold out. But they are sold out on the website, Abby. I just went and it says Sold Out.

Um. It's a glitch in the app Abby mentioned earlier. Oh, ok.

Hi Sarah. I'm just doing a Pizzamas livestream. Um, are we in a meeting right now?

It's kind of a meeting. Because Abby and I are talking and Abby and I work together. So that does kind of make it a meeting.

But yeah, on the website if you click on the sticker bundle, it says Sold Out. Everyone says hi, babe.

SARAH: Hi! 

JOHN: Like hi, can you get offline and put the kids to bed? 

SARAH: (inaudible) ... just wanted to let you know, that like, hour deadline (?)

JOHN: I'm not gonna be on livestreaming in an hour. I gotta go to sleep too, I have to go to Florida in the morning. 

SARAH: (inaudible) (?)

JOHN: Gotta survive that trip. (sighs) Um, Sara @justsara says, I thought everyone was saying hi to me! Alright, well we'll say hi to you now, Sara with no H. Sarah just said hi to you. Um, why do some shirts say "Made to order?" I mean that's a great question, Gem, I have no idea.

None whatsoever. Will there be a reunion video? Probably not.  I would like to have a reunion video, like that's my favorite part of Pizzamas usually, and also Hank and I have to go to Rax.

Like just because Hank had cancer doesn't mean that we can get out of going to Rax. Um, and so um, so I would like to do a reunion video, but these two weeks are like epically bad for both of us. Hank's super busy, and also like, I think Hank is both super busy and trying to like find his new flow in life.

Which great, and I'm all for that. I don't want to slow that down in any way. But I am super busy.

I just got back from New York, I go to Florida tomorrow, I travel again, Sarah's out of town the rest of this week, and then I travel again next week. So. I don't think it's going to happen this time.

But hopefully soon. There are a lot of people in here. Oh, there's a Kenyon student in here, Alex.

Hi Alex! Kenyon was a great school. I'm sure it still is a great school.

I loved it there. I loved my time there. College is so weird.

What a weird time of life. I just, I think I said the last time I spoke at Kenyon, I think I said that even the bad memories become sort of glazed over in some way. In the way that some things only can once you've survived them.

So yeah. It's true. When is the Turtles All The Way Down movie going to come out?

That's a great question. It's done, it's good. It tested very well.

Test audiences loved it. So hopefully soon. But that's not up to me.

Just to state the obvious. I don't think it'll be soon soon, because I'm pretty busy for the rest of the year, so it'd be a bit of a bummer for me if it was soon soon. But we'll see.

It won't be on Netflix. Or maybe it will be. I don't know. (laughs) But it's Warner Bros, which is HBO Max, or whatever they call HBO Max now.

Um, but I think part of what's hard about it is that we don't, you know, how do you release a move in 2023 or 2024? It's just a different world now, and like, the kind of, you know I think, there was a while where theatrical made a lot of sense, theatrical releases made a lot of sense, and then there was a while when streaming releases made a lot of sense. Now I think people genuinely, it's hard to think what makes a lot of sense.

So they'll figure it out, and they'll do a good job, and they'll release it in the right way. Yeah. We'll figure it out.

Put it up against a Tom Cruise move? Yeah, I mean try to do a Barbenheimer? Turtles..

Turtles Mission? Mission Turtles? Mission Impossible, Impossible Turtles, Turtles Impossible?

That's a good idea. I like that. Maybe I could just release it personally.

I know the Taylor Swift shirt is more expensive. It's more expensive because it's direct-to-garment printing, which is a different kind of printing and it costs us more. So uh, I hate to do that, and maybe there will be some discounts at some point, you know, but yeah watch for that because I also feel bad about how expensive it is.

It's just a function of wanting to make the shirt look really good. Geez, a lot of people have been ordering from Pizzamas.com. We've had 50 orders in the last 6 minutes, which is 8 orders a minute.

Right? Yeah. Including Matthew and Christopher and Victoria and Alisa and Maggie and Bianca and Eva and Carter and Christina and Jessica and Jenny and Madison and John and Aaron.

Aaron? I wonder if I know that guy. No no no.

That's a different Aaron. I know a guy with your name, Aaron. Um.

And uh, I've been to your hometown. But I'm not gonna say what it is out loud. That's one of the weird things about (laughs, inaudible)...

I don't think I can hand deliver that one. It's a little far away from me. Moira says I know how to get people to order.

It's definitely giving P4A. Yeah. I mean, P4A we push it a lot harder.

Because it's all for charity. This is only the profits for charity. But anyway, we're grateful for everybody who's ordered.

Really grateful to have the biggest pizzamas day of all time. Like that's pretty wild. It just speaks to how great the team at DFTBA is, Abby, and all of our colleagues, and our new CEO LJ, and everybody worked so hard to make Pizzamas really good this year, and I think it has uh been mega, mega good.

It's just been awesome. Hey Henry! You wanna come in?

What's up? Alright. I think I should go because I think uh I think my kids um...

Am I going to hand deliver any? Hopefully, but uh, it's hard because I gotta .. I got a lot of stuff to do in the next uh.. next two weeks.

So it's going to be a tight squeeze. I think on Wednesday I'm going to make a video that's just like about kind of the thoughts from places video, about my weird trip to the UN. Hi.

You wanna come say hi? Or not really? It's just a livestream.

You don't have to say hi if you don't want to. But you also can. What's the news from Henry land? 

HENRY: Um, I don't know. 

JOHN: Nothing new? 

HENRY: Yeah. 

JOHN: Nothing important? 

HENRY: Yeah. 

JOHN: Ok. Um, cool. You didn't want to show off the braces?  HENRY (off screen): No. 

JOHN: Ok. That's fine. They're looking good though.

HENRY: Thank you.

JOHN: Are you going to sleep in my spot tonight? 

HENRY: No. 

JOHN: Are you going to sleep on my side of the bed? 

HENRY: I'm just tired so I'm just gonna rest here. 

JOHN: Oh, ok. Um, Henry's getting so tall, someone says. It's true. He's growing really fast. 

HENRY: I'm also taller than mom. 

JOHN: Yeah? What were you telling her? 

HENRY: I'm almost taller than her. 

JOHN: Oh, you're almost taller than her. Yeah, I know. But she's short. So.

HENRY: That's true. 

JOHN: Yeah. Alright, well we're gonna go...? Pizzamas.com. Pizzamas.com. Pizzamas.com. Pizzamas.... dot com. DFTBA!

See ya tomorrow.  [end]