(Construction machine sounds)

Demolition.

Good morning Hank, it's Monday.

So since people inside are currently demolishing my house, I'm filming in my front yard.

Okay Hank, today's video comes to you in four parts.
Part 1: Paige Railstone. She's real. That's right Hank, nerdfighters have successfully convinced the bots at 20q.net that Paige Railstone is a real person. God I love nerdfighters.

Part 2: Speaking of the awesome of nerdfighters, I get to announce some new Ningmasters.

So Hank, senior executive Ningmaster Tom has recruited some new Ningmasters. They are forum Ningmasters Eric and Chris, images Ningmaster Kate aka teamunicorn, showing that just because I hate unicorns doesn't mean I don't love people who love unicorns. The new chat Ningmasters are koohy and Shawn. And for the first time we've got a wiki Ningmaster, Jake. That's right Hank, we're relaunching the wiki-wiki-wookie. Nerdfighters if you want to contribute to the wiki, and we really need you to, you can go to wiki.brotherhood2.com. The books Ningmaster is going to be [username], the blogs Ningmaster is going to be Sarah aka cleverestwitch. Our anti-worldsuck Ningmaster is Anika. And our official duckies Ningmaster is Ashley.

I don't know why we have an official duckies Ningmaster but we do.

Part 3: nerdfighter gatherings. Hank, nerdfighters that live in or around the Bay area should go to an awesome nerdfighter gathering on October 10. Nerdfighters are getting together for a fundraiser for Sean Ahmed's Uncultured Project.

Also wheezywaiter's Driftless Pony Club will be playing. It's going to be so awesome, I wish I could be there, but since I can't hopefully many of you will. More info in the sidebar. I'm pointing in the wrong direction. Dang it.

Finally part 4: the winners of the Paper Towns paperbacks. Hank, I have ten winners left to announce. First, the winner of the song challenge, is mashcpb10 for his awesome Paper Towns songs. There were a lot of great songs and I hated to choose just one, but in the end I had to.

Ten word comment winners.
Soul tapestry.
When the wall is gone, where will Willy hide his victims?
Willy! Where do you keep the bodies? He's not talking.

Lemons349, all your paperback Paper Towns are belong to us.

Nair139, going naked under your graduation robe can never end well. Which is really one of the main lessons I was trying to impart when writing Paper Towns.

Meowy3, unicorns were totally left off the Ark for a reason. Amen.

Pineappleriot, oh noes, I'm wielding your guitar. Killin' all your fascists. If only Woody Guthrie could have known that one day I would use a line of his in a book of mine that would be turned into lolspeak by a reader.

rpm2004. Diary, September 13. Talked about sports and hidden testicles.

Fangirl of awesome wins for a video in which she explains the story behind the following ten word comment:
Sad Margo is sad because Happy Margo has been eaten.

Boonvt. Paper Towns in your pants chafes but still reads well.

And the last winner is morwin, who writes: don't worry Hank, my little ponies is a legit obsession. Don't listen to her Hank, it isn't.

I'm sorry if you didn't win one of the books. There were more than 15000 entries, which means you only had a 1:1000 chance of wining so hopefully you won't be mad at me and you'll still consider getting the book.

Winners, email me your address. Hank, DFTBA. Now let's listen to some of that great song.