Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday. So as you know, the Yeti and I have a lot of books. Like, we have several thousand books in our house at any given time. I mean, even Henry has a pretty significant book collection, and he's two. So, Hank, I do feel a little bit qualified to recommend books. I'm often asked what my favorite book is, I don't have a favorite book, I have hundreds. But today, since it's the holiday gift season and all, I thought I'd recommend some books in an if-you-then-you format. Example, if you liked Fifty Shades of Grey, then you can find lots of that stuff on the internet for free.

Okay, let's start.

If you like the fictional exploits of the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers, you might also like the Ballad of The Whiskey Robber, an amazing true story about a Hungarian hockey player who is a professional hockey goalie and a bank robber! Also a prison escapee, but I don't want to spoil anything.

Okay, if you're interested in decreasing world suck, or know someone who is, you might like Behind the Beautiful Forevers, the most interesting and complex book about poverty I have ever read. That makes it sound really sad and un-fun, but it isn't sad, it's a little bit sad, it's just great, read it!

For fans of The Catcher in the Rye, what gift book do I recommend, it's going to be a surprise, Sula by Toni Morrison. If Catcher is the great American novel of growing up without a friend, I think Sula is the great American novel about friendship in adolescence.

Downton Abbey nerds, I recommend Mansfield Park, Persuasion, really any Jane Austen novel. I mean, the costume design in those novels is fantastic.

If you like my book The Fault in Our Stars, thanks. I also recommend that you read Peter de Vries' book, The Blood of the Lamb.

If you like The Hunger Games, this is hard because I'm a huge fan of dystopias, I'm going to go Scott Westerfeld's Uglies series, also Ally Condie's Matched series, and Veronica Roth's infuriatingly unfinished Divergent series, give me an ending!

If you're interested in reading a book together with your romantic partner, the two books the Yeti and I read together this year and liked the most were Telegraph Avenue by Michael Chabon, Chabon, Chab... I don't know how to say his last name, and Bossypants, by Tina Fey, Fey, Fe... I don't know.

If you liked the Harry Potter books, you should just read them again, they stand up to rereading, but you should also read Lev Grossman's The Magicians series, which is a very knowing and wonderful take on the wizard school genre. And if you want to read a great book about the Harry Potter fandom, I recommend Harry, A History by Melissa Anelli.

How about you want to read a novel where you just care so much about the characters and you don't even understand why? I recommend The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach, or Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, gah, that book is good, also, Markus Zusak is so handsome, it's frustrating. Oh, don't tell him I said this or anything, but Markus Zusak has fantastic muscles.

Crash Course: World History fans who enjoy fiction, let me recommend two very long books that you will not regret reading, Wolf Hall and The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing: Traitor to the Nation, Volumes One and Two.

Crash Course: Biology enthusiasts, I am a huge fan of The Emperor of All Maladies, also, great title.

If you're a Looking for Alaska fan who mostly liked the boarding school-y parts, then I recommend The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart.

And if you liked the no-spoilers parts, then I recommend Everybody Sees the Ants by A.S. King and If I Stay by Gayle Forman.

Whovians, you thought I wasn't gonna get to you, but it's fine. I recommend the great and under-appreciated To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis which is maybe my favorite time travel book ever.

And Sherlock fans, this is gonna sound crazy, but stay with me, I recommend that you read The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Also, I think you'd like P.D. James a lot.

So those are my holiday book buying recommendations for Nerdfighters everywhere. Nerdfighters, I'm interested to know what you think I should be reading, so let me know in comments.

And lastly, a gentle reminder, books, especially those purchased at your local bookstore, make great gifts. Hank, over the years I've received and enjoyed many wonderful gifts, but none have lasted as long as the books. I mean, here is the copy of Ship Breaker that you got me for Christmas a few years ago, here's the copy of The Human Stain that Sarah gave me when we first started dating, this is the edition of Microserfs that Dad bought me for Christmas in 1997, and this is Where the Red Fern Grows, which Mom got me for Christmas when I was 10.

So give me your book recommendations, please consider giving books over the holidays, especially mine, but also other peoples', Hank, I will see you on Friday.