Matt: Hey folks, welcome to Vidcon 2013. We're here in the presidential sweet at the Hilton Hotel in Anaheim, California, and hopefully we will be be Saved by the Bell. (Musical intro)
So, uh who's our mystery guest, do we know?

Aaron: No, who is that?

Matt: It's Greg Benson of Mediocre Films!

Aaron: Oh my God!

Greg: It smelled like gasoline under there!

Matt: we're playing the Saved by the Bell game. You remember Saved by the Bell, it was that shitty show that everyone loves for some reason.

Aaron: Our new pal Colin brought the game to Vidcon, so we had it handy and now we're going to play it.

Colin: Because it's an amazing show with amazing people.

Matt: Nnnnnn

Aaron: Oh, I think-

Colin: You haven't met Lisa Turtle, have you

Matt: (Laughs)

Colin: Well you're going to very soon

Greg: 'At's a shitty ass kid

Matt: Why is your voice suddenly gone? Because it wasn't gone five minutes ago.

Greg: It's just 'cause I'm a little horse.

Matt: Give me this fucking thing (jokingly).

A & C: (Laugh).

Aaron: I want to see if the return of Bill Cosby with a stroke.

Greg: (slurred) You see, I'm Bill Cosby tha' had a stroke.

Matt: That's really sad.

Greg: My family is helping me (in voice of Bill Cosby).
You can't summon him, he just appears when you least expect him

Matt: We were at the mercy of shitty Anaheim convenience store, so we couldn't get cool beers. But Newcastle, I actually really like Newcastle, and uh, Modelo is good as well.

Greg: Pat and Lisa.

Colin: Congratulations to Pat and Lisa!

Greg: For sending us these lovely glasses.

Matt: We just met these guys downstairs, minutes ago, and they gave us these glasses commemorating their wedding. 

Aaron: Guess what?

Matt: Chicken butt.

Aaron: No. 

Matt: Uh, I think it's chicken butt.

Colin: (laughs)

Aaron: Here's what's happening: I'm gonna win this fucking game and go on a date with Slater.

Colin: Or...

Aaron: Or Zach.

Matt: The two douche-nozzles who are the stars of Saved by the Bell.

Aaron: Yah. which douchenozzle do you want to date?

Matt: The one with the biggest nozzle.

Aaron: (laughs)

Colin: Does that mean the loser goes out with Screech?

Matt: Works for me. Big dick Dusty Diamond. Now of pornography fame.

Greg: Screech does porn?

Matt: Yah.

Colin: Or did porn.

Greg: Why haven't I seen this?

Matt: And he's got a big horse dick.

Greg: Hey! It's John Green!

Matt: What?! John Green!

John: There he is!

Matt: John Green: the founder of Vidcon. The man who

John: He's co-founder.

Matt: He invented it.

Greg: All by himself with no one else.

Aaron: This is gonna be a wild night, because there's- this room is going to get filled up with crazy people.

Matt: So you might wanna do Bill Cosby with a stroke?

Aaron: Yah, you better do it now.

Matt: Mr. Cosby, are you having a problem with our facilities today.

Greg (as Bill Cosby): My family ignores me. 

Matt: I'm sorry to hear that.

Greg as Cosby: (2:56) Will not take my phone calls. Oh! 

Greg as himself: Bill Cosby with a stroke!

Matt: We're in the presidential sweet, folk, and anything can happen.

Colin: This is where the party is going to be.

Matt: People come in and out

Greg: I wonder if the president is going to come in?
You like pink, you wanna step in and take pink? Can we have a girl on the show?

Matt: Sure, yeah. I think she'll fit in the shot.
Hey! It's Kim Evey, everybody!

Greg: Kim Every?!

John: Wait, is there strategy in this game?

Colin: No, not at all.

John: Is it like Candyland?

Aaron: Zero strategy involved.

John: Perfect.-

Aaron: You get a note from one of our Saved by the Bell friends telling us which room they're in, and we have to go find them and get points. 

Colin: and now you need to turn over your pink note cards.


Aaron: Oh, my God I have constricting notes! Screech wants me to meet him in math class and home ec. 

Matt: Don't meet Screech anywhere. He's going to terrorize you with his horse cock. You know he's going to do that!

John: Tiffani-Amber Thiessen has been naked, Slater has been naked... but only in my house, so that - I don't know if that counts.  Then ah-

Matt: You have an encyclopedic knowledge of the nudity of all these people. 

John: Zack has never been naked. 

Greg as Cosby: Thank you. Thank you. I'm gonna go first now. 

Matt: Is that backwoods Bill Cosby?

Greg as backwoods Cosby:Theo, (?- 4:06)Jello Pudding.

Greg as himself: I got pink.

Colin: So take a note-card.

Greg: It's from Jessie. Jessie wants me to meet her in two different places.

Matt: Jessie wants me to fucking meet her

John: Typical Jessie. Yeah, also me. This is getting awkward. 

Matt: What is the deal?

Colin: Jessie?!

Matt: It's like there's only four people in this High School!

Greg: Meet me at the show girls?

John: What is the name of the chess magazine that Screech *thinks* he's going to pose for? Is it "Chess Boy Magazine," "Chess Board Magazine," or "Chess World Magazine"?

Kim: A!

John: Dang it! That's right. 

Kim: Wooo!

Colin: Move ahead three spaces.

Matt: She's running the board!

John: You said this game involves no strategy. In fact it seems to involve a great deal of strategy and knowledge. I wanna - I only like games like Candyland where it's just straight waiting to see who wins. 

Colin: Well look at you, you just made it to the gym. 

John: Ooh! Meaningless!

Colin: There's one that does ah, go anywhere and you can go straight to the date.

Matt: Shit.

Colin: Boom. 

Aaron: That'a like Goundhog's Day.

Matt: What the fuck are you talking about?

Aaron: You go straight to the date.

Matt: You're not explaining what I'm asking. 

Colin: He tries to go right to the date. Bill Murray - 

John: I think you are thinking of a different movie.

Matt: The movie "Go Straight to the Date."

Aaron: Oh, I'm at a locker, what happens?

(?) Roll a -

Adam: Green.

Colin: Oh, it's to detention!

Aaron: Aw, man!

Matt: Spin the spinner.

Aaron: "Lose a note." Aww.

Colin: Look at this, you gotta go to detention now. Mr. Belding is right there. 

Aaron: "Every school has a principal and Bayside High"s is Mr. Belding. He's really cool. Not! And totally (?). Not!

Matt: Oh, they got him!

Greg: I was on a gluten free diet for a while which was crazy because you have to add your own gluten.

John: Right! Do you really not drink beer?

Greg: I don't drink beer. 

John: Wow, that's great. 

Greg: You know why? Say it with me! 

All: Because it tastes like pennies!

Greg: It's true. Beer tastes like penies. 

Colin: Pennies!

John and Colin: I though you were saying panties!

John: I did too! I Seriously did. 

Colin: Me too!

John: I was like- 

Colin: I was like "Panties?!" Give me more beer!

 John: I was like "I don't even know-"

Colin: John Green and me both thought -

John: I'm rather proud to not know what panties taste like. 

Matt: Four. One, two, three, I'm in the gym!

John: Congratulations!

Aaron: You know who's waiting for you in the gym?

Matt: Screech dong.

C: Double D Diamond!

J: Can we pause for a second, because I'm not familiar enough with his work to know if this is, like, a real joke or a fake joke.

M: He did, he did porn.

J: I know he did porn, but like, you keep talking about how big his penis is

M: He's got a big dick.

J: Can, can you bring it up on your phone please.

G: I have an imitation I wanna do for you of Screech's, uh, horse cock.

M: Okay, alright.

G: *makes horse sound while waving horse mask*

C: Bravo.

G: Thank you very much.

J: Oh god.

G: Props, ladies and gentlemen, props.

J: Oh god.  Thanks for coming, carrot top, that's awesome. Glad you're here.

C: Oh, go straight to the date.

M: Go straight to the date.

C: If I were you-

G: I get to, I get to go to the date?

C: Pick, you know, Zack or Slater.

J: Do you like muscles or do you like, like a good, defined jawline?

G: (in Bill Cosby voice) Hey listen, as long as it's a young boy, I'm fine with anything. okay? Alright, quote me on that. Okay, this is the one I pick right there, of Zack. That's real nice. Okay.

K: I Googled Screech penis, but all I came up with was this baby.

A:Well that's unusual.

K: I don't know why.

G: You googled Screech penis, and came up with a picture of this baby.

K: Yeah.

J: You suck at finding porn. Hold on, let, let me get on it.

M: We've got a new kind of beer here.  This is Sierra Nevada Summerfest Summer lager.

C: Does it taste like summer?

M: It tastes really citrusy.  Like, this, there's almost no beer taste there at all.

A: Sierra Nevada beers are often like this.

M: I don't like it.

J: Anyway, thanks to our sponsor, Sierra Nevada.

G: "Sierra Nevada- I don't like it."

C: The boy of your dreams asks you to go steady, but your mom says you're too young.  Do you A:

J: First, can we stop, like-  If I were like, " Mom, I'm leaving my wife, cuz this boy wants to go steady." It's so unlikely that my mom would say, " I think you're too young to go steady."

M: Like a 15 year old boy.

J: Yeah! She wouldn't be like, " you're too young."

C: So A is go steady but keep it a secret,

A: That solves all your problems.

C: B, tell him no, you have to wait. C, discuss it with your mom, and try to make her see your side.

A: Yes, that's-

M: That's not gonna work, that's not gonna work.  Keep it a secret.

J: Hard A, I mean...

C: Oh I said, I thought C, discuss it with your mom and try to make her see your side.

A: Yeah.

K: That's what I would've thought.

C: So you win!

M: Okay, alright.

C: Move ahead one space.

M: Oh that's...

A: Pointless.

M: Who cares?

J: I take it back, this is a lot like Candyland. I just played Candyland with my 3 1/2 year old and he beat me and it was in- it was absolutely fucking infuriating. You can
t do anything about it. He was just like, " Meh, look, double purples." And I was like, " Shut the fuck up, man."  Like, no.  Like, I'm obviously smarter than you, what's the square root of four?  I love you Henry.

C: Jokes.

M: Why do Screech and Lisa annul their mock marriage? A-Screech is a nag, B- Lisa is allergic to him, C-Lisa wants to marry Zack.

C: I know this answer.

J: I, I hate myself for knowing.  The whole episode flooded back to me.

C: It hurts when it does that.

J: Oh god.

A: It's gotta be C.

M: The answer is B.

J: No, no it's B. It's B.

M: Lisa is allergic to him.

C: Bam.

J: You don't remember?

M: Okay, so why do you guys like this show?

C: Saturday morning...

J: I think it was generational. This is awkward but like, you guys are a lot older than we are, so, you know, you were watching umm..

M: Good shows.

G: I, I wa- I

M: We were watching good shows.

G: When I was a kid-

C: You were watching Quincey, and...

M: Sure, Quincey.

C: Dumbo.  I was watching Saved By The Bell.

G: I used to watch, uh, The Great Train Robbery, and Edison's The Sneeze.

C: Edison's The sneeze.

J: Early like, cinemas...

M: I only watch (?) types.

J: Every show you guys watched you had to crank.

M: Yeah, yeah.

J: A lot of web-lebrities in the background right now.

G: There's a Wheezy Waiter here.

C: You want beer?

Craig (W): Oh, sure!

M:Hey everybody, it's Wheezy Waiter!

W: Alrighty.  What are we doing?

(10:17)