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In which John answers dating questions from real nerdfighters. The Wimbly Womblys play QPR.

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Hello and welcome to hankgames without Hank my name is John Green. I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys who are playing in the Capital One Cup. The cuppety cup cup as some people call it.

Um, uh, today I am going to give some dating advice, uh, Meredith has some questions saved that I'm going to share with you. I'm going to share with you my dating advice, ah, but I'm going to first preface this by saying that my advice is terrible. As terrible as my FIFA playing and I should not be trusted.

Um, I love that move that they do every time with the leg where they, where they spread out their hips. They do that weird- it's almost like they're mounting a horse when they ah, when they start up here at FIFA. Anyway, uh, we're going with a new, new, new formation. 4-3-3. Um, four guys at the back. I felt like we were too exposed last time but I still wanna use more attacking force. So, um, we've got John Green, John Green and Dicko all starting together. We'll see how it works out. John Green target man, John Green, uh, right winger, and Dicko left winger. Very excited about this formation I think it has a future.

Um, I think Sarah might just've- my wife just might have returned after a week away. Oh, the longest, the longest week of my life. It was not three days. (Talking to Sarah) No, you left on Monday, it's currently Thursday. Monday is one day, Tuesday is two days, Wednesday is three days, Thursday is four days. If you round up, that is a week! 4/7ths of a week! That's how long you were gone for. An eternity! Oh my god I don't know how I got through it.

Speaking of how I got through it, I don't know how I didn't give up a goal there. 4-3-3 not working out that well so far. Meredith, what what kind of people, who needs dating advice. Is it you? It's nerdfighters who need dating advice. But you're a nerd fighter. Do you need dating advice at all? Oh you're good. Okay. Yeah. You sure? You wanna, you wanna know how to get Callum Kennedy to cut his hair? That's what you really need. You need advice on how to get Callum Kennedy to cut his freakin' hair. Um, I don't care if he cuts it long or cuts it short. Just cut it, Callum!

Aright, what's my first question? Do I have any advice on pick up lines? Don't use them. Um, do you agree Meredith? Has- has a pick up line ever worked on you? Pause, pause, pause! You've successfully used a pick up line for real? Oh g- name one successful pick up line that you used. You walked up to a guy, you said 'Are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see' and- and you later, um, engaged in- you kissed. After saying 'You're the only ten I see,' that same boy kissed you. Really? Same night? That is impressive. Okay. Well, I've got a great pick up line suggestion: Are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see. Note, it helps to be Meredith if you're using this pick up line. Let me submit, by the way, that it might not have been that the pick up line works so much as you- it's your overall charm. Um, I think like, yeah my- my main suggestion would be don't focus on the pick up line

(3:10) Oh! Oh! Agh! Focus on you're overall charm. You know? Bring- bring your charm game up and it'll take care of itself. Oh it's never good to see an injury. I hope he's alright. Oh, that's disappointing. Oh he's going to have to be substituted out. Yeah, well never good to see it but it's raining in England. This kind of thing always happens when it rains in England. Come on, boys! Get it! OH! It's off the goalie and (indecipherable) it's Hells Pells! 4-3-3 working out perfectly so far.

Hells Pells. He's not even that big but he just gets on up. And it went in off the crossbar too. I loved seeing that. I love- I loved seeing that. And then, Hells Pells didn't even know what to do with himself. He doesn't score that often. He just sort of ran around in a panicked circle. Um, it's great to see. 24th minute. We- we're still- this is a win or go home competition of course, so, we're either going to win or we're going to go home. And, uh, given those two options, I think we'd all rather win. It'd be great to add some silverware to the AFC Wimbledon trophy cabinet which was Milton Keynes in 2001. We uh- we still don't have the uh- the FA Cup that uh, that we won in 19-OH BOY- 88, but- OH BOY. Pass it out of the back guys, pass it out of- wait why are you pointing in the penalty spot? Oh, there was a little bit of a foul outside the box. Everything is fine, nobody panic. FFF- oooh. Seb Brown! Meredith, I ever tell you about the time Seb Brown saved two penalties against Luton Town to but us into the Football League? It was an amazing day. (4:43)

So yeah, I don't think it's the quality of the pick up line that matters. I think it's the quality of the person delivering the pick up line. Um, yeah. But I've never successfully used a pick up line myself, you'll be surprised to learn. Um, I uh- the only time I ever really like, successfully flirted at a bar was- was in my early 20s with a kindergarten teacher and um, yeah. Not gonna tell the rest of that story. What's my next question, Meredith? (5:11)

Who pays the bill on a date? Ah, I mean I- I don't know. I'm old fashioned I- OH! JOHN GREEN! Oh look he did the mustache because he loves his husband so much. That's so cool. That's so classy. Oh, and then Dicko gives him a hug. This 4-3-3 is working out beautifully. Admittedly, we're only playing Queen's Park Rangers but still. Um, I'm old fashioned. I believe that you should share the uh, uh share the expenses, um, of any of any of this stuff. I don't know. I mean I don't, I don't think it's- I, I think it's fine as long as it's pre-discussed. But I like to, I like a good, uh, I like a good Dutch date, as it's called. I like to go Dutch. What about you Meredith? (5:56) Yeah. I just, I don't wanna feel any kind of like, financial obligations going into the- the post date experience. Or, I don't really- yeah, I just, I would rather, you know, I'd rather, I'd rather pay $7, uh, if it's a $14 check and it shouldn't be more. Um, I'd rather pay $7 than um, than, than feel $7 in debt somehow. I don't know. I think that whole thing is weird. I think it- I think it constructs a uh, yeah. I think it constructs a weird power dynamic.

(6:29) Um, speaking of weird power dynamics by the way, uh have you seen Fifty Shades of Grey, Meredith? Yeah, me neither. Uh, what's next? Any advice on long distance relationships? I was in- my first serious relationship was a long distance relationship. It was an Internet ah, relationship before those were popular. Not to brag but I was way ahead of the curve. It looks like if we win this game, we're going to the Capital One Cup final which is exciting. We'd get to play in Wembley. We'd get some money which we're gonna desperately need because I've decided ah, this is not about long distance relationships, although I guess many of us have a long distance relationship with AFC Wimbledon. Um, including me. But, um, I've decided that um, I am going to make a big push. I feel, let me know what you think in comments, I feel that we are in a pretty good position- So one of my big ideas has been to save money from our transfer budget each year save a little bit of money to try to get, you know, like a little bit stronger for the future. Um, building toward the days when hopefully we can get really good players and- but um, I'm starting to think, as I- as I, uh, continue- What? What did I do wrong? (7:38) I was- woah,  are you criticizing me for my amazing back heel? No I guess I tripped him up a little. Um, I'm starting to think that maybe we should make a push for the Champions League this year. We're currently in 6th. Um, and we would have to finish in the top 4 to finish in the Champions League and that would be worth a crap ton of money. So, I'm starting to think that maybe we should, in the January transfer window spend all of our money- Seb Brown, no worries (8:03) and um, see if we can get strong enough to finish top 4. Uh, yeah so let me know what you think of that.

But, my long distance relationship with AFC Wimbledon is a lot like many other of my long distance relationships. It's very fulfilling, um, but it can get- I guess, I guess like, my worry is always is there a kind of romanticization that goes on with not having to be, um, in real life with a person. Like there's something really kind of magical and wonderful about uh, third space as I like to think of it. You know, like when you're talking on the phone or on Skype with someone, like you're not really in the place that you're in, and they're not really in the place that they're in, you're really in this like, this third space that's sort of a mutually defined, um, place that's that's really like deeply about the two of you. Um, and that third space, um, is in some ways limiting but in some ways like really really great because (8:57) you also- OH, that I- I just got clattered into! I should- there should be a red card involved for that, that epic clattering. That third space um, uh I think can be uh, it can be an escape. Yes, referee, you should bring him over and give him a red card. Red card, red. Nah that's disappointing. Syme Symes gets a yellow.

Um, yeah I think um, I think like sometimes it can be too much of an escape for me, um away from the dreary grind of daily living, like one of the things about um, a romantic relationship is that it isn't defined exclusively or at times even primarily by the two people in it, like there's other stuff going on in life and you need to be able to do that stuff, I guess. Um, so that would by my only- that's my, always my concern about long distance relationships when I'm in one, is like Are we using this as a way out of problems um or is this you know, like just, or is this, a healthy relationship where, you know distance is part of it. Um, that said like I also think (10:09) that you shouldn't worry too much about it, um you know, love who you love. I don't know. What do you think, Meredith? You ever been in a long distance relationship? No, just bouts in relationships? But never like never something like this girl and I, we were together two years and we never lived in the same place. And there was never really like a- ascertainable future where we could live in the same place like short of- short of marriage. Which would have been- I, I actually I think we would have been fine, I mean we would have gotten divorced but um but it wouldn't have been that bad. I don't think we would've had kids or anything. (10:47)

Aright what's next? Is there any forgivable scenario for cheating? I mean, that's way out of my realm of expertise, man. I'm not Dr. Ruth. I don't know- I don't know your relationship. Ah, I don't know- I, I, I don't know I think it depends. Yeah. Probably. I mean I know lots of, lots of marriages survive infidelity um, so you know I think that it's certainly- OH that's a foul! (11:12) I've been wronged! Um, ah, I don't know what do you think, Meredith? There is. There is. But, I mean, but but Meredith and I are both pretty pretty strongly opposed to having to find out. (laughs). But yeah, I mean I don't know. I think that relationships are complicated and like other people's relationships are are particularly complicated because you can't be inside of them right? So like I don't know what, um, yeah. I, I, I can only, I can only speak from my own experience and my own experience has been that like, having, it's not something that I've- we've had to like, live with or work through. Um, but I- I think there's lots of things that feel you know, that are I think there's lots of things that are survivable I guess in life. Yeah. But, you know, there's definitely, I think it would create a lot of trust issues for me and like trust is really important in a relationship, um whether it's a romantic relationship or not. So, yeah. There's my bad advice.

It's full time. Two to the good guys, zero to the bad guys. And AFC Wimbledon are headed to the Capital One Cup final. Who are we gonna play? I don't know let's find out. Let's see if we can find out. Let's not watch some highlights. Let's just find out who won the other game? I don't know. Well, well we'll see when we play them. Thanks for watching. Ozéia with man of the match congratulations, Ozéia. Under loved. Best wishes.