Hello and welcome to Games with Hank. I'm Hank. This is games with me, Hank. Today's episode is brought to you by the deliciousness of oven-baked barbecue-flavored Lay's baked potato chips. (No it's not.) We put sugar, on a potato chip. Tastes good. Fewer calories cause we put fewer chips in the bag!

Alright! Time to play Turbo Dismount!

I want to crash a car really fast and hard. I've not done this one. What's Scaramanga? Ooh... We're gonna- Eyelord! My friend Eyelord. Alright.

Oh, no, that didn't turn out well. What did I have to do to do that better? Oh! Well, no, that one! Yes! Full Speed? That's too fast! I didn't even make it across even a little bit.

Let's put some obstacles down here: a turbo pad, and a turbo pad, and a turbo pad. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Burn it! Burn- Oh man, that's a--not ideal.  Okay, faster maybe?  Oh, I unlocked achievement Scaramanga.  (unintelligible noise)  Yes, yeah, ohhhh, so close!  How did you stay in one piece, man?  Okay.  Again.  Again, and urghhh, spin, no, that wasn't good.  Again.  Burn it, after burner, yes, yes, spin, spin, land in the car, that--that counts!  That counts!  I don't care who you are, that counts!  My arm is twitching on the ground.  Why is my arm twitching?  That's super disturbing.  

Have I done the Freeway yet?  Freeways are fun, you can just make all kinds of havoc.  Havoc.  Everybody loves the wedge.  Go, go, go, you can do it!  Oh, that wasn't that interesting.  Wow, I have actually never played this level without destroying a bunch of cars, so I count that as a success.  No one had to die except me!  

Let's try a quarter-pipe.  And then another quarter-pipe.  We're gonna try and survive this.  And a turbo pad.  You just use all the speed you can muster, man.  You try and survive!  That was too far.  But again, I didn't kill anyone but myself.  That was great.  Oh, that's not, that's not gonna be fast enough.  Maybe.  Maybe I'll get to the second oh nooo.  Oh, ah, ohhh, my torso, oh God and Oh jeez, oh jeez.  Oh jeez, oh jeez, oh jeez, oh jeez, not good.  Everybody died.  These are always fun to watch.  Alright, where do I come from?  There I am!  Oh Grea-Oh grea-nierp boing  Pow.  Patchoongee.  Now how did this--what happened to you?  How did you suddenly all of a sudden just start popping up in the air, nothing even happened.  You just, you just were affected by nothing.  There was nothing there. 

Uhh, what's the fastest vehicle?  Well, that one flies.  Let's Flappy Bird this, this thing.  Flappy flappy flappy bird!  Fly!  Fly away, you didn't fly far enouuuu--ohhhh.  There was a toilet seat on my head for part of that.  That was ohhh, a truck just landed right on my body!  Why, daddy?  Why'd you land your truck right on my body?  Okay, fast and then slow it on down.  And then, real slow here, real slow.  Here comes.  Oh, there's that semi-truck, it's gonna hit me hard.  I'm flying!  I'm--look at me, I'm so at peace and ha--my car broke.  Ohhh, I moved fast.  My leg fell right off.  My hand broke and there's somehow I got a toilet seat around my neck for like this whole, this whole trip.  Oh, but oof.  Yeah.  I'm fine, though, I survived except no, that's my leg, that's my leg, just hanging out right here in front of, it's fine.  And then the head of the, of the car went faster than me.  Anddd there's hearts and then my body hits, every bone in my body breaks, and then everything's fine until this semi-truck right here, which was been flying in the air, comes down directly on me.  Ohh.  How did that not break my head?  There it is.  

Have I done a Loop-de-Loop?  I'm gonna try to do this very fast.  That was pretty fast, that was pretty fast.  Alright, get ready for the loop, loop it--oh nooo.  Nooo!  What hap--where'd the car even go?  What happened?  Why did I--why did I lose control of the loop?  

We're gonna, we're gonna go with a Corley here.  Everybody knows you can't go too fast on the Corley or you just--ohhh, too--whoaaa, ohhh noo, that's a far away!  My foot fell off, ugh!  I broke all of the bones.  That was my highest score, you guys.  I got a high score.  

Alright, reset.  Slower.  That was faster.  That was faster, you did not go slower, I went faster, hopefully it will be--ohh, not gonna be okay.  Oh, look at--how did my body turn into so many different parts?  That's a real surprise!  I was going real fast.  Alright, go slow, what happened, I'm, everything's falling apart here.  I can see that.  My foot's breaking, ohh, my foot hit the ground, it went under the motorcycle.  So that caused some--they're still moving, so--oh, I'm just scrapin' it off, little pieces of me just gettin'--ohh noooo, oh that's terrible, oh God, it just--ohh, more pieces just keep gettin' ripped off!  Nice and slow.  Oh, jeez.  Oh, don't ever ride a motorcycle!  That's why!  That's why I only ride bicycles, they go very slowly, and then I land right on my head!  Wow, it went into the ground so my head got injured at the end of the game.

DFTBA.