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The Stanley Parable: Today Hank Green is sick of Jeff... so he jumps out the window!
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Game Played:
Hello, and welcome to Games with Hank. Today's episode is brought to you by this little plastic thing that memory cards go inside of. If you wanted an extra plastic thing in your life, buy a memory card!

Today we're gonna be playing the Stanley Parable, again. It may be our last episode of the Stanley Parable, but it may also not be.

And here we are, in Stanley's world. I've decided to go back to the mouse and keyboard after you guys yelled at me for several episodes in a row.

Alright, I'm gonna not leave and I'm gonna click on the door. Cause I'm just gonna stay here in peace.

Narrator: But, Stanley simply couldn't handle the pressure.

Hank: I can't handle the pressure.

Narrator: What if he had to make a decision? What if a crucial outcome fell under his responsibility? 

Hank: I hate decisions. I'm the only person who works here now!

Narrator: He had never been trained for that. No. This couldn't go any way except badly.

Hank: Exactly.

Narrator: The thing to do now, Stanley thought to himself, is to wait.

Hank: Yeah! Just sit here.

Narrator: Nothing will hurt me.

Hank: Yes.

Narrator: Nothing will break me.

Hank: Maybe that pencil...

Narrator: In here I can be happy, forever.

Hank: could hurt me, if I...

Narrator: I will be happy. Stanley waited.

Hank: Crouching.

Narrator: Hours passed. Then days. Had years gone by?

Hank: Nah.

Narrator: He no longer had the ability -tililty to tell.

Hank: Woah!

Narrator: But the one thing he knew for sure

Hank: Oh, I tried to jump.

Narrator: beyond any doubt was that if he waited long enough the answers would come.

Hank: ability -tililty

Narrator: Eventually, someday, they would arrive. Soon, very soon now, he will be spoken to.

Hank: Woah, it's breaking.

Narrator: He will be told what to do.

Hank: Yes! Tell me.

Narrator: Now it's just a little bit closer. Now it's even closer. Here it comes.

Hank: and now it's closer still. (singing) Tiiiiime! Is marching oooon! (spoken) Hey, what happened? Is that the ending? No it's different out there now. I don't wanna go anywhere. (singing) And tiiiiiiime is still marching oooooooon! 

Ok, we're gonna begin again! That was just the end. It just happened to be...

Narrator: A soft wind blew outside, and perhaps rain started,

Hank: Oh. Well that's embarrassing.

Narrator: and if it did it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather.

Hank: It locked me in there. It said I will one day see weather.

Okay, one of these desks apparently I can get up on a chair and jump out the window.

Alright, so it's desk 434 I gotta get on this chair! Oh, eeeyuh! I'm up! I'm up! I'm up on the desk! I'm on the desk! Come on! Cooome on! Keep me on the d-, I wanna get it, I wanna die, let me diiiie!

Really? I did, I didn't succeed? That seemed awfully close. Let's try again.

Huuurrrrrrrrrr! Uh nope. 

Ok, huuuugu-gu-gu-, ohhhh.

Maybe if I start from over here. Huuuwah, nope.

Ok. Parkour! Parkour! Parkour! Park...our! Get me! Crouch. Should I crouch? Hello? Oh yeah! Crouch again? Let me out the window! Hello? Ooooh! I'm out the window! I'm out! I'm in the negative space! Alright can I walk backward now? WAAAAAH!

Oh. Well that wasn't very far.

Narrator: At first Stanley assumed he'd broken the map,

Hank: *laughter*

Narrator: until he heard this narration and realized it was part of the game's design all along.

Hank: It's part of the game's design...

Narrator: He then plays the game for its insightful and witty commentary -

Hank: That -

Narrator: - into the nature of video game structure - 

Hank: - is some insightful and witty commentary into the nature of video game structure

Narrator: - and its examination of structural narrative tropes.

Hank: - and its narrative tropes.

Narrator: So!  Now that you're here, what do you think?  Isn't this a fun and unique place to be?

Hank: Yeah!!

Narrator: Why don't we take a minute just to drink it all in?

Hank:  It's white!

Narrator: Okay, I'm over it now.  What do you think?  Are you sick of this gag yet?

Hank:  Oh!  Ummm....oh, I can just look.  No.  Not at all.

Narrator:  Ahh.  Then in that case we'll continue. 

Hank: Okay!

Narrator: But now, here comes the real question.

Hank: Uh, huh?

Narrator: What do you think would have happened if you had told me that you wanted this to stop?

Hank: I have no idea!

Narrator: Do you think it would have been particularly different?  Would I have taken the same idea but rephrased it superficially to fit that answer?

Hank: Maybe.

Narrator:  Perhaps you never would even have thought of it if I hadn't brought up the issue in the first place.

Hank: Yeah.

Narrator: Oh!  Now - think about it.  Would it be worth it for you to restart and then come back here -

Hank: No.

Narrator: - just to do the other option?

Hank: Definitely not.

Narrator: Clearly this whole gag takes some time.

Hank: Hey, Lemon!

Narrator: What if the other option is even longer?  How long will you spend -

Hank: This is taking quite a while.

Narrator: -in total, just to have heard all the narration?  Oh, and this is rich - 

Hank: I'm not really a completest.

Narrator: -perhaps you just played the other option and now you've come to see what happens in this one.

Hank: Ah! Yeah!

Narrator: So, what do you think?  Which choice was the better one?

Hank: Oh, good girl.

Narrator: Imagine if you had selected continue on your first play-through how tantalizing it would be not knowing what happens when you pick the other option.

Hank:  You....are a talker!

Narrator: Indeed, you are one of the lucky ones!  Though, if the other option is really miserable to listen to, then perhaps you're not.

Hank: Can I change my mind?

Narrator:  In fact, I'm just going to say that no one who's listening to this is lucky.

Hank: No one -

Narrator: Well now.  I've built up the other options so much that I'm going to stop talking -

Hank: That's interesting.

Narrator: - and leave you to your decision whether to come back here or continue with the game or just sit in this spot forever -

Hank: Why can you run into it?  It's weird that you can run into that.

Narrator: - and ever.  Jeez.

Hank:  Uh, you're just going to leave me here forever?  Okay.  Well, I don't believe you.  I think you're going to come back and say something to me, because I don't trust you....Jeff.  So, I'm just going to sit here.  And hum to myself.



*more humming*

(Singing)  I belieeeeve that my heart will go oooooooooooon.  Near!  Faaaaaar!  Whereeeeeeeeever you aaaare.  I belieeeeeeeeeve that my heart will, my heart will go oooooooooooon.

(Spoken) That's really all I know of that song.  This is all, this is all I got.  He's just left me to think by myself.  Well, I guess that's it!  I sang, I sang a whole Celine Dion song.  And by "whole," I mean "all of the bits I knew," which was not very much.  So I'm going to give up.  And say that this is the end of this episode of Hank Green plays The Stanley Parable on Games.  With Hank.  DFTBA.