(talking)
Hello there, I'm Hank. This is my guitar and we're going to play some songs now. Umm, this is basically my VidCon set but since not everyone can be at VidCon here it is umm. I've been practicing and I figured I might as well turn the camera on while I practice my err, dress rehearsal here; I'm dressed. Err, so I'm gonna come out and say.

(talking)
Hello, my name is Hank Green. I make songs and videos on the internet umm, and I went on tour recently and I got a question, pretty frequently and I couldn't answer that question so I wanted to write a song about why I couldn't answer that question a Sort of response to that question I got over and over again.
Here we go.

(singing)
There's something happening on the internet
And I don't really get it
Once again I'll have to say,
I'm not into that
But I'm sure that I'll regret it
Cause I know th...know thousands o... regret it cause I know thousands of people never cared about anything more
They've spent the last six months making Tumblrs, fanfic and bulletin boards
and I think all that excitement is great
But when they ask,
I have no choice I still have to say

That I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I've never seen that show
And I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I'm 31 years old
And I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I'm a self-respecting dude
And I don't have a favorite pony cause
I just can't choose Well
Dash the Pegasus has rainbow hair and the cutest cutie mark
And Applejack is the strongest mare, always working so hard
And Fluttershy has totally got that Marilyn vibe going on
But when it comes to the the beauty prize, 
oh Rarity's already won,
and Pinkie Pie's excitement could fuel a jet plane,
But Twilight's the nerdiest, and that goes a long way

But I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I've never seen that show
And I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I'm 31 years old
And I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I'm a self-respecting ahr... have a favorite pony cause I'm a self-respecting dude
And I don't have a favorite pony
Cause I just can't choose

 Well, my goal is to make this a better planet and I don't take that lightly I should be workin' my butt all day dammit
And with luck I might be
But it's equally probable that instead of changing the world I've spent the last 6 hours watching a cartoon made for little girls Oh, Battles in the real world are so complexly won It's all so much simpler in Equestria
But I don't have a favorite pony I don't have one even though I've spent the whole day trying to pick
By watching all episodes I don't have a favorite pony ahh...hav a f...It's so hard, have a fav... 
have a favorite pony
Cause I'm a self respecting guy
And I don't have a favorite pony, cause I,
I like Spike.

(talking)
That's that song err, that was the only sort of newish song that I'm going to play today because I hate when people do that and they come on "We're gonna play a songs from the new album" and you're like" I don't know any of those songs. Why are you doing that?" Umm, but yeah.
Maybe you should put some reverb on this, the whole thing. (with reverb) So it sounds like I'm in a big airy stadium.

(without reverb) (talking) Okay umm, so I'm a big fan of Harry Potter; as you may know. So I wanted to play some Harry Potter songs. This is actually about a book that doesn't exist.

(singing)
I know I’m not the only one
Who wants to know more about Harry’s sons
I really do think that there’s an unwritten story
And I think it’s time to put fingers to keys.
A lot of people I know wanna know more
About Grindelwald and Dumbledore
I really do think that they both batted lefty
And I think that there’s probably a good story there

For book eight I want a book eight
I want a book eight!
I want a book eight

And I want J. K. Rowling to say that The epilogue was crap because we all know it was crap
And I want J. K. Rowling to say that Voldemort had a son
And the story’s just begun
And I want J. K. Rowling to say
That she’s writing book eight

A lot of people I know wanna hear the tale
Of the mysterious veil
I really do think it’s a dimensional portal
And I think Sirius is in Middle Earth
And I know I want to hear the one
About Hagrid’s dad and Hagrid’s mom
I really do think that that’s nearly impossible
And I think there’s probably a good story there

For book eight
I want a book eight
I want a book eight

And I want J. K. Rowling to say that
The epilogue was crap because we all know it was crap
And I want J. K. Rowling to say that Voldemort had a son
And the story’s just begun
And I want J. K. Rowling to say
That she’s writing book eight

She could call it Harry Potter and the Pillar of Storgé
Or Harry Potter and the Knights Who Say Ni
Or Harry Potter and the Time lord fights the Dalek
Or Harry Potter and the giant squid of anger
Or Harry Potter and the map of the realm of Narnia
Or Harry Potter and the puppy sized elephants
Or Harry Potter and the Hankschannel viewers that didn't go to VidCon 
Oh, I. I want a book eight!
Yes, I want a book eight
Oh, Harry Potter!
I really do think that there's an unwritten story
And I think it's time to put fingers to keys
For Book Eight.

(talking)
Ah, two of the Harry Potter songs: the first son...the first like thing that happened to us Vlogbrothers that, like big, like big one day things. It sort of grew slowly umm. Most... through most of our YouTube experience but the couple spikes here and there and the first where we were like "this is pretty amazing" was when I sang this song about the release of the new Harry Potter book.
Which clearly err, is quite a anachronistic song by now but umm. I still love it anyway, so I'm gonna play it for you, umm.

(singing)
I'm gettin' kinda tired of this
Pre-publication media blitz.
They've got all of Muggle kind under their spell.

Don't you know the whole world's already gone
And reserved a copy at Amazon?
How many more books could you sell?
Now give me my book or go to hell.

Cause I need Harry Potter
Like a Grindylow needs water.
And as Saturday approaches my need grows!
Oh Accio Deathly Hallows, Incendio
Book Sales Embargoes,
It'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose.
Yeah Accio Deathly Hallows.

I'm getting kinda petrified.
What would Ron do if Hermione died,
Or if Voldemort killed Hedwig just for yucks?
I have no confidence in theories about the Half-Blood Prince.
And what if Harry's brain is a horcrux?
Oh, holy crap that would freakin suck.
It actually turned out to be pretty convenient 

Cause I need Harry Potter Like a Grindylow needs water.
And as that day approaches my need grows!
Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio Book Sales Embargoes,
It'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose.
Yeah Accio Deathly Hallows.

Whatever's up the sleeves of J.K. Rowling
I bet it has to do with Snape Unbreakably Vowing
To protect that pure-blood puss-faced Malfoy.
But in the end,
I don't think it's gonna matter
If Snape's good, or if he's bad
Because the weight of the world rests on our boy.
Yeah the weight of the world rests on our boy!

Cause we need Harry Potter Like a Grindylow needs water.
And as that day approaches our need grows!
Oh Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio Book Sales Embargoes,
It'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose.
Yeah Accio Deathly Hallows.

But mostly I'm just feelin' sad
I know this could end real bad
But I wish it didn't have to end at all.
Yeah, I wish it didn't have to end at all.

Cause I couldn't care more about Harry Potter
If Hogwarts was my Alma Mater.
And as that day approaches my need grows!
Oh, Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio Book Sales Embargoes,
It'll feel like phoenix tears on a broken nose.
Yeah Accio Deathly Hallows.
Oh Accio Deathly Hallows.
Oh, Accio Deathly Hallows.
Oh, Accio Deathly Hallows.

(talking)
I don't know what that was at the end there. I have to stop and re-start real quick.

(talking)
Okay I'm back.

But of course I write songs about things besides Harry Potter, umm. There's a... There's a err, fish in the deep ocean and it's sort of a fascinating animal to me, umm, because there's so few fish in the deep ocean that, err. It's very difficult for two of them to find each other when it's time to mate, umm, and err. One species of fish has solved this problem in a very elegant and beautiful way err, and that species is the deep sea angler fish and they have solved this by the males of the species are born tiny with no ability to even eat or digest food; they're basically just a mouth, a nose, err, a fin to move around, and some testicles and the mouth err... the testicles are there for obvious reasons. The tail is there to move around; the nose is there to sniff out a female angler fish; and the mouth is there for when they find a female angler fish, to bite her with. So they bite her and an enzyme in her skin dissolves his lips and then their circulatory systems fuse until they become, basically, the same entity and she...he is basically just a pair of testicles on her side; and I thought that, that story was so beautiful that I wanted to write a song about it; and here it is. 
 

(singing)
Yes it's true that I once went through life
As a guy who always had to rhyme life with strife
Yes, I've been burned and I've been spurned
And through it all, my friends,
I have learned That love is not about whether you get stabbed
But how slow the knife gets turned
But my friends I've found an animal Who doesn't feel this pain
And my life is so much better Now that I can feel the same.

Oh, you can't hate the night If you've lived your whole life without light
And you can't hate the dish If you've only ever eaten fish
And you can't feel alone If it's all you've ever known
Yeah the deep sea anglerfish Has no reason to be happy
But it has no frikkin' idea What else to be.

Well, the deep sea dwelling anglerfish
Never has to find a mate
They are always there together When it's time to procreate
See one dark night, a young male
Bites the female on her side
And then slowly he becomes
A sperm-producing parasite
And if we can say he lives at all
He lives until she dies
And until that day he liter...
And until that day he literally 
Never leaves her side.


Oh, you can't hate the night If you've lived your whole life without light
And you can't hate the dish If you've only ever eaten fish
And you can't feel alone If it's all you've ever known
Yeah the deep sea anglerfish Has no reason to be happy
But it has no frikkin' idea What else to be

For years this rule has kept me
Out of hopeless despair
You simply do not feel What is always there
I ask my brain to entertain
That pain is the same
That if I feel it all the time
Can you really call it pain
I don't have any friends
And I don't have any hair
But neither does the anglerfish
And she doesn't care

Oh, you can't hate the night If you've lived your whole life without light
And you can't hate the dish If you've only ever eaten fish
And you can't feel alone If it's all you've ever known
Yeah the deep sea anglerfish
Has no reason to be happy
But she has no frikkin' idea
What else to be.

(talking)
Ahh, such a fun one.

(talking)
So now lets move on to a song that isn't so fun. I wrote this song after my brothers new book came out , The Fault In Our Stars, and it is err, takes place in that...that universe. Umm, from the perspective of a 16 year old girl. So just imagine me as a 16 year old girl with a booming baritone voice.

Oh, I have to remember how it starts. (a couple seconds pass) Okay, I got it; haa.

(singing)
We all can dream of blazing glory
But all I dream of now is you and you blue eyes
It's strange to think how we could feel
We don't live our own lives
I wasn't sure about my own
But now I'm feeling fine.

You're video game book might get me funny looks
But staff sergeant Max Mayhem gets me hot
And I'm starting to see 
Not just what you want for me
But what you want to get from what you've got

Now what do you think you're gonna be
You think you'll leave some kind of lasting mark
Well with infinite tomorrows 
And no this isn't fair
No-one gets remembered
But right now I just don't care

You're video game books they might get me funny looks
But staff sergeant Max Mayhem gets me hot
And I'm starting to see
Not just what you want for me
But what you want to get from what you've got

There's not a lot
Of amputee heroes in history

I wish our lives were so much simpler
And I hope you get to have your moment in the fight
But no-one ever gets to be quite who they want to be
You wanted to matter, boy
Well you matter to me

You're video game books they might get me funny looks
But staff sergeant Max Mayhem gets me hot
And I'm starting to see
Not just what you want for me
But what you want to get from what you've got

There's not a lot
Of amputee heroes in history
But I've got one sitting right in front of me

(talking)
so we got to pick it up after that but I really do appreciate that John gives me a chance once in a while to write some more serious songs. I don't have a lot of them; I... you know have a fairly peculiar relationship with them but umm. I do like it a lot when II get the chance and it comes out really well, like I think that one did. 

(talking)
Umm, this song is about Quarks, there's no subtext at all, it's straight up about quarks. There's nothing ex...there's no hidden message; it's 100% about quarks and science. Like the angler fish song was a bit about you know pain and suffering and despair, err, and...but also biology.But this is just about quarks, just to be clear, umm.

(singing)
A quark is a fundamental constituent of matter
Observed in nineteen sixty eight through deep elastic scatter
We found that protons aren’t as simple as we thought
We thought they were solid particles but they are not
Protons are in fact made up of three separate pieces
It just gets more confusing as our knowledge increases
But that is what a quark is, it’s a piece of a proton
And they also make up other things including the neutron

Oh up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom,
If you don’t know what a quark is it don’t matter you still got 'em And with leptons and bosons unless something’s amiss
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists

(Hank forgets the second verse)(talking) Huh, got it. Huh, I always have a hard time with the second verse.

(singing)
Things made up of quarks including protons and neutrons
Are composite particles that Physicists call hadrons
Many types of hadrons are theoretically described
But most only exist for very brief amounts of time
Quarks have electric charge, color charge, mass and spin
And having color charge means they exist solely in- side of other kinds of particles and cannot exist alone
Which is why quarks have never been studied on their own.

Oh up, down, strange charm, top, bottom, If you don’t know what a quark is it don’t matter you still got 'em
And with leptons and bosons unless something’s amiss
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.

Quarks can join together in two different ways
Baryons and Mesons, but most instantly decay
If a particle has three quarks, then it’s a baryon
And if there’s one quark and an anti-quark, then it is a meson These tiny bits of matter are part of almost everything
And there is no unified theory to make it less confusing
But the fact that we’ve identified that they exist at all
Is so God damn remarkable that I just sit in awe.

Oh up, down, strange charm, top, bottom, If you don’t know what a quark is it don’t matter you still got 'em
And with leptons and bosons unless something’s amiss
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.

Oh up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom, if you don't know what a quark is it don't matter you still got 'em
And with leptons and bosons unless something's amiss
They make up everything that we can see and that we Know exists.
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.

(talking)
Thank you , my nae is Hank Green. You just had me play music for you. Waah! How do you end these things? Next up, I don't even know who's coming on after me but thanks. I'm sure it will go a little longer in the real world, so about 20 minutes, not bad; and I hope yo liked it. Bye!