Amp: So what did you do today, Amp?  Well, I just put, you know, Lindsey from Sexplanations in a spreader bar with some suspension.

(Intro)

Lindsey: I am submitting to your magic.  

A: Wingardium Leviosa.  Oh, whoa.  This is Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and host of this sex-curious--oh, damn it, I almost had it.  This is Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and host of this sex curious show, Sexplanations, and I'm Amp from WattsTheSafeWord hijacking the show.  Are you excited, Lindsey?

L: Yes.  

A: Tentatively, at least.  Do I have your consent?

L: You do. I'm very excited.

A: There we go, that's all we need.  Okay, bring in the cage.  No, I'm just kidding, and today, we're gonna talk about sensory deprivation.  Lindsey, do you know what sensory deprivation is?

L: Yes, I do. Tell me anyway.  

A: It's a kink in many ways in which you can take away senses in a bunch of different ways: visuals, your nose is a sense, your mouth, your hands, your ears, your touch.  

L: Oh no did I touch something?

A: No, you're good, you're good, and today, Lindsey is in our dungeon, which is actually very well lit for a dungeon, but we're at Mr. S Leather, the place that I work full-time and design our goods, so today, I figured, let's talk about some of my favorite things and so I wanted to test Lindsey's Sexplanations skills and her sexpertise to see if using some of her senses, she could figure out what some of our sex toys are.  

L: Oh boy.  

A: Are you sensory overloaded right now?  

L: I just wanna touch something.  

A: My Grindr bio. So Lindsey, with your consent and with your--you are such a good sport, I will say that. She just came in to my dungeon and we've had some fun. Can you sense the excitement?  Without further ado, I'm just gonna jump right in to it and give you your first item.  Are you ready?

L: Yes. Please.  

A: So polite, too. So for your first item, Lindsey, this is one of my personal favorites. I'm just gonna set it down right in front of you. Oh, yup, there you go. So tell me what you're feeling. As you feel it, talk me through your senses.  

L: Okay. I am feeling rubber.

L: It's very hard and very heavy. This feels like a...

A: I get told that a lot.

L: (laughs) A handle, a really nice grip, and a cord, so I could do something like this...

A: I'm leaning back so you can do all sorts of things right now-

L: Yeah, yeah..

A: ... and not hurt people. 

L: Yeah.  So we have a flogger...

A: Ding ding ding ding ding!

L: Is this actual leather?

A: So yeah, that is cut, hardened leather, but it is a flogger. And Lindsey, what would you do with such a tool?

L: You would drag it along a body like this...

A: Okay, yes.

L: ... or you would wield it.

A: (laughs) Yes!

L: Like- I don't want to hit anything!

A: You can wield it on the table, wield it- just wield it right down, you aren't going to hit me.

(snap)

A: Oh!

L: Woo!

A: You might hit yourself though! There you go, there you go, you're good. You didn't hit anyone yet.

L: It's gorgeous!

A: It is, it's hand-crafted too, here in San Francisco.

L: I can't see it, but it feels-are these screws?

A: Yeah, so it's got- it's- it's very hefty, it's got a nice weight to it, it balances really well. Nice, hardened latigo that's cut into strips, and it gives you a nice sting, but also a nice, solid thud. So like with impact play, you want to kind of mix the stings with the thuds if you've ever had any sort of impact.

L: Okay.

A: A thud is more like a hard, but a steady hit. So if you think about a fist might be a thud, or like a flick of just your finger might be more of a sting. So the more impact, the more area that's being hit, the more of a thud it is.  But if you're real quick with something that has nice hard but thin strips like this, you can feel that that might give you a real quick sting.

L: (gasp)

A: So you kinda- you can be diverse with floggers.

L: Okay, do you want to demonstrate on my forearm?

A: You kind of get that... 

L: Mhm.

A: That little... 

L: That's the sting.

A: Like that. Whereas if I got more of this flogger in hand... 

L: Mhm. Ah, that's a thud.

A: It's a little more surface area, so you're getting less aggressive hits, but more of a thud.

L: 'kay! I got it. 

A: Okay.

L: Sensed!

A: One for one! Some might say you're... sensational.

A: Are you ready for your next item?

L: Oh yes, I want it.

A: Item two. Right in front of you, right in front of you. Oh! There you go.

L: Ooh!

A: What do you feel?

L: A butt plug. Ok, so we have this tapered... yep that's going to go very nicely into the anus or vagina.

A: You say things like, so eloquently.

[both laugh]

L: And then it's got this wide end here so it doesn't get sucked up, and then- oh it's got a tail! Ok, this feels like rubber tubing that you would use, maybe in a car. 

A: Mhm.

L: What is at the end of this tail? [gasps]

A: A dollar.

L: It's not a tail! It's a pump. Yeah, get it. Ok.

A: It's not for taking blood pressure, I'll tell you that much.

L: How much is it gonna take?

A: Again, if I had a dollar.

L: I'm trying to pump my hand open and I think it's working.

A: It is working, yeah you can see it get bigger.

L: Am I gonna break it? Like, how big does this get?

A: That's what she said. Lindsey, what do you think it is?

L: It's an anal pump! A rectum butt plug pumper!

[both laugh]

A: That is quite the name. It's an inflatable butt plug, you're pretty much right. Can you figure out how to let all the air out?

[air hissing]

A: So we sell these for people who are trying to do some anal play, maybe even like, growing how big they can take, as far as toys, because some people are all about that size. Yeah, you can see it's much, much bigger.

L: Wait, how much bigger can it get?

A: You're pretty much-

L: I can't see it so I can't tell-

A: You're pretty much as big as you wanna get with this guy.

L: -what its elasticity is.

A: It almost doubles in size when it's inside of you.

L: [gasps] Ooo

A: So if you're really looking to stretch your limits...

L: Yes!

A: Okay, you're two for two.

L: My ears hear jingling 

A: Maybe I'm just trying to throw you off. This next one, item three.

L: Oh

A: Does it feel nice?

L: It just keeps going!

A: [laughs]

L: Okay, what do we... Ok this is a metal screw, thing, loop.

A: Mhm

L: All right. Then we have some rubber, then it goes down a very long handle. Is this a spreader bar? I think it is.

A: It is!

L: That would go, this would go between by wrists or my knees or my ankles.

A: Uh-huh

L: So that the person dominating the scene could have some control over my body.

A: Absolutely, wow. Have you ever used one before?

L: I have not.

A: Oh, so what I really like and why this is one of my favorite spreader bars that we have is it's got like a nice padding to it, like a firm-

L: Where?

A: -but not hard rubber wrapped around it.

L: This is padding?

A: Well it's better than a piece of wood or metal.

L: [laughs]

A: But it's got, like, it's coated.

L: Yeah

A: In such a way that it's easy to clean but also comfortable and it has the ribbing on it. What I like about simple items like this that are sturdy and nicely made, is that it really leaves it up to your imagination, where you put it, how you use it. That could be for your hands, that could be for your feet. If you had two of those, and you put one of them between and arm and a leg on one side, and one on the other side, the possibilities are endless. You just have to spread your imagination.

[both laugh]

A: Are you just twisting the pole?

L: [laughs] Well the thing is that I don't have to do anything with my face on this episode, because you're doing all the work so I can just like sit here and touch it!

A: Are you imagining what my face is doing?

L: I think it's being really animated and lovely and entertaining, and all the good things of a host.

A: Oh, thank you.

L: Yeah!

A: Ok, well you're three for three.

L: Ok, I'm excellent at this game.

A: You are!

L: I am terrible at the game we played on your channel. [laughs]

A: By the way, go check out-

L: Watt's the Safeword!

A: I'm waving it around like a wand now. Wingardium leviosa! Ok, next item.

L: I can't get any higher because I'm already so erect with anticipation.

A: I love when people are erect with anticipation. Next item.

L: Whoa! I want it to be like an enema ball but I don't... Ok, is there an opening? What is happening here?

A: [Laughs]

L: Have you stumped me? Ok, this must be something related to the prostate because of the curve, I'm guessing. Oh!

A: Oh, did you hear that?

L: [gasps] You know, ok, so, I'm imagining because this has like the piggy bank kind of base here.

A: Mhm

L:  That that would sit on a surface and then somebody could self penetrate.

L: --impale. Lower onto this. Sit comfortably here on this part and then they could squeeze that, give a reach around, and give themselves puffs of air in the anus--not the vagina because that would lead to problems. Am I right or what is it?

A: You know what? Actually, your very first guess was right. Do you remember what you said first off when you first picked it up?

L: That it was an enema.

A: [nods] Yeah--oh, I'm... I'm shaking my head like you can see (?~8:25)

[both laugh]

A: It is. It's actually a douching bulb, so it's--

L: Oh wait, how do you get the liquid in? [gasp] Wait, Ohhh Ohh [Unscrews bulb]

A: You got it.

L: See, once I know that it's there I can find. Okay, wait...

A: You got to twist it.

L: Okay.

A: Like everyone's favorite game, Bop It.

L: Ohhhhh! Ho ho ho ho!  Okay, so that goes in.

A: Mmmhmmm

L: Can I screw with my eyes closed. Yes. Yes.

A: Lindsey, I swear, this entire episode is just sexual innuendos.

L: So basically, I got it right and then just explained to people that you can get pleasure from [laughs] enemas.

A: I mean you could get pleasure if you enjoy air inside your butt, too, so you know what? I'll give you points on that one. I don't want to be anal.

L: [laughs]

A: This...I'm really curious to see how you treat this one.
A: Oops [item falls]

L: Ah!

A: No, you're fine. You're fine.

L: I don't want to break any of these fancy toys.

A: You're not going to break anything. I chose some pretty sturdy objects.

L: Okay. Okay. Ah, ooooh. I think I saw this one the last time I visited you.

L: Oooo, haaaaa. Hmmmmm

A: [laughs]

L: Like my brain is shutting down. All these, like, huge gates are like, "No, don't think about what that is!"

A: Why?

L: I don't even want to, like, be curious about it. Okay, give me a moment...

A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

L: [takes a deep breath] with my psyche. Okay, let's explore. This is for science.

A: Oh!

L: Am I going to break it?

A: No, I will stop you before you break anything. I promise. Oh! You're twisting.

L: I'm twisting and the

A: You're twisting. What's happening?

L: inside is retracting.

A: Retracting. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

L: or receding.

A: So now you're twisting the other way, and it's engorging, again.

L: My brain is telling me that this is some sort of torture device.

A: Oh!

L: It's shaped like the head of a penis and I'm very scared that it's, like, you put the foreskin in here and then you pull.

A: [gasp]

L: [gasp] Oh no.

A: [laughs]

L: Now I've-

A: It's not broken. You can put it right back in and twist it.

L: [laughs] Okay, I give up. You have stumped me.

A: Okay, so I'm gonna help you with this one. So give me, like your arm, put your arm out, so you've got this at the very bottom.

L: [gasp] It's like a.. uh.. suck.. uh... cupping!

A: Kind of!

L: Yeah!

A: Yeah! So this is a nipple sucker. [laughs] You understand how it works?

L: Oh I do! [laughs] I'm just thinking like clitoris...

A: Yeah! or-

L: shaft of penis...

A: well, so...

L: anus...

A: well so, I do wanna say real quick, that I've definitely seen this on a dick before and there might have been blood coming out of it because it's not really supposed to be used on a dick.

L: blood coming out of it!

A: There was way too much pressure and the guy kept going and it just... it broke skin. (whisper: it wasn't pretty)

L: okay, I think that's a moderation issue.

A: The wider the nipple sucker is, the more that you're gonna get the whole areola in there and enlarge the entire, like, size of it. But the thinner it is, and the more like, long it is that you can suck, that's gonna make your nipples longer. Depending on what kind of sucker you have, you're gonna get a different sensation.

L: You've taught me something!

A: I try! Again, these are some of my favorites and this one is definitely the favoritest of all. It is right in front of you.

L: That's your tail I think.

A: Well I'm not wearing it, Lindsey, but what do you think.. do you like shake it around and see...

L: I have felt it before! You gave me consent to touch your tail before and I think this is your tail or somebody's tail.

A: You are correct. It is not my tail, but it is a puppy tail. Can you explain how it works? Because sometimes tails go into the body but that's not happening right there.

L: Yeah, there would be a butt plug here so I'm guessing that there's some sort of harness that you would use, like for a strap on except the O-ring is on this side. I'm guessing...

A: You're really close.

L: Oh oh OH! I feel it! Sense! Use your senses! 

A: [laughs]

L: Okay, then there's straps.. you do.. yeah. straps there.

A: But this is one of our belted - so you can put a belt on it - it's a belted puppy tail. I really love these because they just, they have a mind of their own, like..

L: I bet you just did something really cute. Okay so then it goes around your waist-

A: Mmhm!

L: -not your asshole.

A: So, correct. So, those little belt holes, you could loop a belt in through both of the sides-

L: a special belt that you sell.

A: No, just any belt! These work with any belts. so you put one belt on this side, it goes through a belt loop in your pants-

L: Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah

A: and then out through the other side.

L: yep yep, gotcha

A: and that way you can actually like, physically shake your tail.

L: I like it.

A: They're- they're one of my favorite toys that we sell. are you ready for the real, the real, real difficult one?

L: ummmmm

A: what are you hearing?

L: uh.. like seat belt buckles?

A: and... go!

L: this is like a carabiner block... what. (12:40 ?) uh... horse. what are they called.. stirrups?

A: Interesting

L: is there another one?

A: there is another one. I'm -I'm - I am currently (12:49 ?) it for  everyone.

L: Okay wait... this feels wrist-sized but my guess is that it's actually ankle-sized based on the holes here and... what?

A: I saved the hardest for last, that's for sure

L: i bet this would be easier if i could see. Okay we have... ahhh! i'm afraid! So i'm guessing this clips into like a Saint Andrew's Cross or some sort of furniture-

A: Hmhm!

L: kink furniture

A: Yeah, you're on the right track

L: -to hold somebody in place. So some sort of like, restraint.

A: For this one, you might have to suspend disbelief, just a little bit

L: Oh my gosh! now i wanna try it!

A: [laughs] yep.

L: you could ha- yeah! okay so you're hanging someone by their wrists or their feet.

A: ding ding ding ding ding!

L: Yes!

A: And in fact, this is the last one, so if you want to take your blindfold off and really see this one... I love that you were just like, immediately like, a horse stirrup, because these are actually specifically, horse... oh [chuckle] can you see now? [both laugh]

A: Welcome back to the world.

L: This is a beautiful um...

A: Thank you

L: [laughs] no words!

A: What is it?

L: It's a blindfold.

L: ... blindfold, yeah. It's so beautiful. And look, it's padded.

A: It's very lovely padding.

L: So when you're telling me that the... umm...

A: Spreader bar?

L: The spreader bar is padded, I was like "oh no no, look at this padding."

A: In fact, we can put the two together. So what I really, really love...

L: Aww, they're so pretty.

A: ... is that even with your senses you were able to figure out this was somehow horse related, because these are actual horse metal pieces...

L: Ok

A: ...that people who work with horses use for a number of tools. And they're quick release so you spin them and then that releases.

L: Wait, do it again, my eyes are adjusting.

A: It's currently locked in place. 

L: Mhm. And then they err, "RED!"

A: And you spin it, 

L: And then you go, "boop"

A: And then it's easy to...

L: Off

A: Yeah, so long as there's tension there, it's going to hold it in place. Same thing with these guys on the side. 

L: I know my little fisting hand can fit right in here without loosening this.

A: Do you want me to put it on you? But let's say you get a little tired, because sometimes when your wrists are tied up, you're not able to get all that circulation in there, you might cut off some blood flow there, it's too tight. You can easily quick-release both sides. One and then the other. 

L: Oh, you do both

A: You could do one or the other or both. And then that's going to let that person down, of course, with ease. And then you can hook this up beforehand and then distract the person in, or you can strap them in here and hook it to a carabiner, or in our case, you can even hook it to a spreader bar.

L: Clever, clever.

A: See!

L: If you have carpal tunnel!

A: Are you going back in?

L: Yeah. I want to be fully...

A: Fully immersed 

L: If you consent?

A: I do

L: Goodbye everyone

A: If only that was the easiest way to sign off the internet for a bit. Block out those haters Lindsay...

L: And then have your friends

A: ...block out those haters! How does it feel? And it is kinda therapeutic. 

L: It is!

A: You don't have answer any tweets, you don't have to read those mean comments. You don't have to deal with demonetization that's going to happen probably because we featured toys even though they weren't really gratifying in any sort of way.

L: I am...

A: Well sexually gratifying maybe, well okay, we're not going to go there.