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In which Hank talks about his personal struggles with his sexuality and confusing his gender identity with his sexual orientation...and he does it all using quantum mechanics as an analogy...but only after he tells John the most fascinating thing about traumatic insemination in bed bugs.


Great Vlog on National Coming Out Day:

Animal Sex Truth or Fail:


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A Bunny
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Good morning, John, and thank you ever so much for your Truth or Fail on animal sex, 'cause boy, I- I couldn't have lived without knowing that stuff.

But, you missed the most fascinating thing about the traumatic insemination of bedbugs! How dare you?

Some bedbugs stab their sperm through the thorax of a female to inseminate her, and that is weird and gross and kind of horrible, but the men also do it to each other, not because they're, y'know, just like willy-nilly stabbin' everything they can with their sperm spikes, but because, and this is crazy, they are actually shoving their sperm into the other male to mix their sperms together so if that male is successful in inseminating a female, there is a chance that the sperm that actually ends up fertilizing her eggs will be the original sperm-stabbing male! [*shudders*] Actual video topic! You may have heard that small particles function both as particles and waves, and it's difficult to understand how weird this is, but there's a great video that you can watch that will actually explain it to you and then your mind will melt and you will, uh, never be able to function correctly as a human, again. You should watch that video; there's a link to it right here.

There's also a link to it in the description. But here's the thing: Electrons are very simple. They're as elementary as you can get.

But even electrons are difficult to categorize. Wave? Particle?

Both? We are orders of magnitude more complicated than electrons, and yet, we still attempt to categorize ourselves and each other. Today is National Coming Out Day in the UK, and it was yesterday in the US, so let's get this out of the way: When I was a younger man, I was a bit of an electron.

I wasn't sure if I was a particle or if I was a wave unless someone was observing in which case I was definitely a particle. Some people know if they're gay or straight by the time they're five years old, and I kinda think that those people are the exception rather than the rule, and by the time I reached puberty, I knew that being gay came along, at least theoretically, with several social cues. For example: If someone was a little bit more flamboyant than usual, if someone was a big fan of ice skating, and really loved his collection of stuffed animals and hung out almost exclusively with girls but in a non-romantic way.

Those social cues came along with homosexuality, and so I thought I might be gay, and this was scary for me because I really didn't want to be different, and I remember very specifically ice skating while listening to The Village People, and this is just idiotic, but y'know, I'm a kid: I'm twelve years old and I'm worried about being different. And I'm like, "I like ice skating to The Village People so much! This is a problem!" And it sounds funny, but it isn't; it's not funny for a lot of reasons: One, because someone can be so afraid of what they might be; two, because just because you like ice skating to The Village People doesn't mean anything about your sexual orientation.

So it turns out that I'm not gay. What I am is kind of effeminate. I'm just sort of a less guy-ish kind of guy.

Sexual orientation is very complicated and it's rarely 100% in either direction. I'm like a Kinsey-1 or -2 heterosexual. It's hard to recognize that, especially 'cause it makes a mess of all of our assumptions about what gender roles and sexual orientation are supposed to mean about people.

If an electron were a person, I would wanna know a heck of a lot more about that electron than whether it was a particle or a wave before I made a judgment about what kind of person-slash-electron it was. Here's my message on National Coming Out Day in the

UK: Be honest with yourself. Be honest with the people that you love. Be honest with yourself even if you're not quite sure who you are because most of us are unsure of who we are. I mean, that's a very difficult and huge question.

Just try and be who you are and be as honest with yourself as you can be, unless you are a bedbug, in which case just stop! John, I'll see you on Friday.