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Last sync:2022-11-03 04:00
In which John explores Los Santos, then gets a new mission.
John: Hi, I'm John Green. I am playing this game as myself, it's Grand Theft Auto V. I don't know where I'm supposed to go.

Woman: Get out of my way!

John: Don't yell at me! You know, I've tried to be nothing but nice to you guys. Oh, maybe I should get in my car. It's always good to be in. Alright, I'm gonna get in my car. And I'm gonna drive. I don't know where I'm gonna drive though because I don't, I feel like right now I don't have a mission. We're just laying low for a while. Me and... What's his name? Lamar. I feel like we're just taking it easy, chilling out. I had a nice nap. This has been... Oh, Lamar is calling. Oh! What's he wa... What does he want? Oh, we got a holler at you. Oh I bet you do. Why am I stopped? Oh, 'cause there's a car in front of me.

They're talking about the crime that I committed, Meredith, on the radio right now. I, I, I... Again, though, it was all in self-defense, it was a terrible situation but, like, I... Oh, excuse me, sir. I, you know, they shot at me and then I, naturally your survival instinct just kicks in, you know? You think like "Well I guess, I guess I've got to shoot back." But I've been thinking, I do believe that this game is all about dehumanizing me and dehumanizing the other and it's sort of like an exploration of...

I'm just interested in what this house is. What's going on here? I'll go ahead and get out and just see, see what the deal is. Hi! It's me, it's me. Oh, let me put that, let me put my phone away so that I can... Nope. I'm so good, I used, I was so good at climbing but I haven't played in, like, two weeks. There we go. Is this the house?

No, I don't really want to text anyone. I'm just enjoying some quiet time here without constantly being told what to do by Lamar who I continue to think does not have my best interests at heart. Can I get... I want to get into this car. No, I don't really want to climb it so much as I just want to... Oh. That hurt. You know what though? I've been shot, like, seven times so it's no big deal at this point.

Meredith, do you know what any of these signs mean? No, she doesn't. It's a good thing that I picked a Grand Theft Auto expert to help me out with my Grand Theft Auto playing in the form of Meredith. What about, is this a store? Hey everybody, it's me, Franklin. Do you guys know me? Oh, is this a house of ill repute, Meredith? What happens in there? Bad things or good things? Hi, it's me, Franklin. Can I come in?

Man: That's crazy as Hell.

John: I don't think it's that crazy, I just wanted to know if there was an establishment that I could enter. Hi, it's me, Franklin. Can I come in? Oh, it's for members only. Wait, I almost opened the door. Do I just need to keep pushing Y? Oh yeah. Am I a member? That's great! Hey, what is my bank balance out of curiosity? Ooh, I have a pin number, Meredith. This is exciting. $328! That seems a little low given my talents!

What do you do here? You just, it's just, just nudity? OK. By a drink for $10. I think I'll leave. Thought about, I thought about holding that place up, Meredith, to be honest with you. I find myself, you know, as I get older and I play this game more, I find that I really, well, there's just something about me that wants, wants money. I want, like, money. Oh dang it. Still not all the way there with the driving stuff but you know, I'm making progress. You can make fun of me if you want.

Oh, it's, it's almost night-time in Los Santos, Meredith. I just had to turn on my automatic headlights and then hit somebody. Is this a store over here? I just want to go to a better store than the strip club. I don't know why that was... Is it all strip clubs, is that what the deal is? Does the money sign mean a place where I can acquire money because I need money desperately. I only have $328. Huh? Oh, is that my place of work? Oh, I don't know. Here, let me go over there.

Wow, I'm too fast! Slow down, Franklin! I just, I'm feeling it right now. I'm feeling enthusiastic. Is this where I work? Premium Deluxe Motorsports? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh! And now it's day-time just like that.

Simeon: You're a racist.
Mr. Kenneth: Wh-what?
Simeon: You don't like me because you think that I am an Arab.
Mr. Kenneth: What? No! What are you talking about?

John: It's not... I'll tell you why I don't like you, it's because you only paid me $250 to murder a man.

Simeon: I am so proud of you.
Franklin: What do you mean, a mentor?
Simeon: Don't worry about that.
Franklin: Okay, so what you got for me?
Simeon: James De Santa. Some kid, he is already late on his payments. Try to bring the car back in good condition, huh?

John: No promises.

Simeon: It's so good to see you, my boy. Eh, good luck in... Law school.

John: Don't, don't... Do not call me "My boy" by the way. I do not appreciate that. That is not something that I enjoy. I will go to the house for you because you provide the only work that I currently can find but I do not like... Whoops! Sorry!