Hank, I have to make a housekeeping video today. How am I gonna make a funny housekeeping video? And yes I know I have a lot of puff for someone who got a haircut ten days ago. But the puff alone isn't funny enough. People have seen the puff. They know the puff. They're tired of the puff. I know! Willy!

Hank, today's video comes in twelve parts: Odd parts, housekeeping even parts, Willy.

Part one: The winners of the advanced copies of Paper Towns for my punishment last week are Ning-users robfromcornwell and kelly38 who, by the way, I think has been watching us the entire 16 months so that's pretty cool. And YouTube users juliax, darkbluecoffee, and martinaofsweden. Man I hope Martina is of, like, Sweden, Ohio or else I'm gonna pay a fortune in shipping costs. Send an email to sparksflyup@gmail.com with your address to claim your prize.

Part two: Willy has a new trick! Hey Willy! Sit. Yes. Good boy!

Part three: The nerdfighting-blurbing book club will be returning in the near future. Please let us know in comments what book we should pick next.

Part four: It's one thing to enjoy chewing shoes, but Willy wants to inhabit the shoe. He wants to become the shoe. He wants his self to be annihilated into the bright shining light of shoeness.

Part five: The 2008 Hank and John Green Great American Tour To Nerdfighting. Featuring hopefully The Katherine and occasionally the Yeti. That's right nerdfighters of America and hopefully a couple places in Canada. Mark your calendars for November because we believe... Sorry sometimes I catch myself in the viewfinder and I see my hair and I crack up.... But the point is that we believe that what happened in Grand Rapids can happen everywhere and we're going to go everywhere, hopefully. And hopefully you'll come visit us. By the way, if you're a librarian who'd be interested in hosting/sponsoring a public event featuring us, please email sparksflyup@gmail.com. I know I said that fast but it's in textual form either over here, over here, or down there.

Part six: Casts. So Willy had to get a new cast because he ate the last one because he loves the taste of cast and so then when they gave him his new cast they put a heart on it. A heart? You can't be the Dread Pirate Fireball Wilson Roberts with a heart on your cast. Anyway, I'm sure he'll eat through that cast in a matter of days so. Hopefully next time we'll get a skull and crossbones.

Part seven: T-shirt design contest. We're having one. Due to part five. Email your t-shirt designs to, is it getting old yet?, sparksflyup@gmail.com. The winners will receive some seriously fabulous prizes that we will not deliver to them for like six or seven months. Sorry in advance. God, we are bad at prize delivery. We're like the opposite of Ed McMahon.

Part eight: Boy is Willy cute when he's not peeing on anything.

Part nine: Omnictionary. Gosh, a lot of interesting stuff is happening on omnictionary.com where nerdfighters are using the form of a wiki wiki wookie to write a novel. But there also seems to be a strong desire to have like an actual nerdfighter encyclopedia which I think is a good idea. But it's not an idea for omnictionary. In fact we used to have something very much like that thanks to the hard work of executive vice president for nerdfighting in Australia, Stewart Kiddo. I'd love to see a nerdfighter encyclopedia recreated if you know how to make a wiki and can host one please email, that's right, sparksflyup@gmail.com.

Part ten: Look, he's a little wolf!

Part eleven: New challenge. Now, nerdfighters, as you know there's a standing challenge that if anyone can provide proof that Helen Hunt has seen or heard the Helen Hunt song then you can challenge us in any way you see fit, although our wives have veto power. Ms. Hunt has so far proved elusive, but today I'm announcing a second celebrity related challenge. The other day I was looking on YouTube at one of the most subscribed lists and I saw this: Down there at the bottom on the left. That's us. Up there at the top, Oprah. Now Hank, it's no secret that when it comes to recruiting new nerdfighters, Nerdfighterians value quality over quantity because we don't want to dilute the awesome. But Hank, we are a mere 6,000 subscribers away from pwning Oprah! Admittedly, 6,000 subscribers is a lot, but still.. Nerdfighters, if and when we pwn Oprah you can challenge us in any way you see fit. It doesn't matter how it happens, I just want to state for the record that pwning Oprah would be the greatest accomplishment of my life.

Part twelve: Best wishes!

He's like,"You woke me up from a nap to hold me in front of a camera and say 'Best wishes?'". And then I tried to explain to him the "Best Wishes" joke, but of course he doesn't get it because he hasn't seen all the videos yet because he's still a baby.