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In which Hank messes around in the turret factory some more and then finds a bunch of science fair projects.

Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays Portal. Last time I was watching this get manufactured, I was behind the scenes at Aperture Science Turret manufacturing facility with Wheatley, attempting to do something, though I'm not entirely sure what. Wheatley is lighting up this corner here, so I'm going to go there. Here we go. Oh man! So this is an amazing little thing here. Do I go down it?

(0:39) (Wheatley: Right. Well, I'm going to take this rail down the back way. See you at the bottom! Good luck.) Right. That's fine, whatever. You know, I'm, I'm extremely capable of - Ouaah! Ooh oh! Ah! Where am I going? Where am I going? Over there? Ah! Ouah! Ah! Ooh! Oosheeshishi!

(1:01) Thought I was going to talk in Chinese there for a second there, didn't ya? Now I can look at myself. Hello Chell! She looks - that's chubby, GLaDOS? You think that's a chubby girl? That is not a chubby girl. Nice boots, though. Nice boots. That's my Chell. She's a little bit of a weird-looking girl. But, anyway. Moving on. Moving on to the next, next stage in which I will, be hopefully shutting down her turret manufacturing facility. Because that's part of my job as, as Chell. The very capable, very intelligent lady with somewhat unfortunate bone structure.

(1:42) So, I'm sure that Wheatley will tell me what to do. Right? Authorized personnel only. Apparently there needs to be an emancipation grill there; I don't know why. Maybe so I can vaporize this cup of coffee? Yup. That's why. (laughing)

(2:06) (Announcer: Turret redemption lines active. Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.) Engage with them? In what way? Is there? Okay. (Announcer: Turret redemption lines are not rides; please exit the turret redemption line.) Me? I'm not pretending it's a ride. I'm pretending it's a way for me to - nope. Come on. That's what I thought. Ahhh! Almost died.

(2:42) Ummmm.... Where am I going? Where am I going? I don't want to burn to death, so, I'm going to avoid that, in whatever way possible- Please don't have bullets in you! Turret redemption line... How many turrets do you guys have? (Turret: I'm different...) Why are you different? He said he's different. Hoo ha. Hoo ha hoo ha. Okay. There was absolutely no way I could have hurt myself there; I just felt like I could. Wow. This is a lot of boxes. Theoretically boxes of turrets.

(3:16) Yeah, shoot that... man. Why - why are the bullets holes- (Defective Turret: Uhhhh, no bullets. Sorry.) Uhhh, no bullets. Yup, shooting them. (Defective Turret: So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?) What are you supposed to do? (Defective Turret: Uhhhh.... Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective!) (laughing) Blam! Blam bla-blam! They're totally sentient, that's so creepy.

(3:46) Uhh... Uhm... Aha! Ooh, hello. That one is not - Good. Good. Good. Wait- What? Aaaah! How do I get there? Alright, can I zap through this? That's how I have to do it? Ah geez. Aaaah! God dangit! 

(4:25) Okay, now you will stop shooting me and I'd have fewer bullets in me. It's amazing how many times I've been shot and how well I'm doing. (Announcer: Template. Response.) Template, response, announcer, it says. Oh, is it being tossed right over my head? (Turret: Hello) Hello. Waaaah! (laughing)

(4:55) Okay. Wheatley! I need your help, don't know what I'm doing! Just walking. (Wheatley: Ah! Brilliant! You made it through; well done.) Yeah, I did! No help from you! (Wheatley: Ta-da! Only the turret control center) Sweet!

(5:14) (Wheatley: See that scanner over there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss.) Okay, yes. I figured that out. (Wheatley: And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.) Well, you are a clever little Wheatley, aren't you! (Wheatley: Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.) Okay. (Wheatley: ...You'll need to turn around while I do this.) For real again? (Wheatley: Done! Hacked) (laughing)

(5:43) (Announcer: Template missing. Continuing from memory.) Done. Continuing from memory, because you're an idiot (Wheatley: Have you got any ideas?) So now it's my job. As a matter of fact, I do have an idea, in fact, I do. I'm going to go get a new template for you. (Wheatley: Ohhh, have you got an idea? Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.) Just do your idea and come straight back!

(6:20) Okay. Missed it. Missed that one. But, this next one will be- I'm all over it! (Hank's Defective Turret: Hello. You messed with the wrong turret. Oh thank God. You saved my bacon, pal.) I totally saved your bacon. (Hank's Defective Turret: Where are we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [defective fire]) Did you just try... to shoot me?

(6:42) (Hank's Defective Turret: Oh, this is just PERFECT!) You know, I'm trying to save your life here. This is me saving your little life. You are going to become the ideal turret. And everyone from now on will think, when they think of good turrets they will think of you. (Announcer: New template accepted.) I know. 'Cause I'm smart (Wheatley: ...I'm gonna go and hack the door open.) Which door (Wheatley: ...It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door...) Okay. Ten minutes is not really - I don't really have that - well, thankfully it didn't take that long.

(7:23) (Wheatley: This door's actually pretty complicated. Ah! How long's the door been open?) Well. (laughing at dialog) (Wheatley: I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention it in the future. Cough or something.) (laughing) Are you afraid of me, Wheatley?

(7:44) The Employee Daycare Center is right next to the neurotoxin production. That's perfect. That's uh, that's how I would do it. So here's - is this daycare? Doesn't really look that daycare-y, with the, lots of desks. Doesn't sound like very, very much fun. But, y'know. Maybe. Maybe for Aperture Science, that's what the kids want.

(8:08) That's what we're doing. We're going to - wait, what are we doing? Wheatley? What are we doing? Did you tell me something, and I missed it? Can I jump over this? What - tell me, tell me what to do. This way? I don't know what I'm doing! Wheatley, what are we doing? Go to the direction I need to go!

(8:45) How do I? Where do I go? There's nowhere to portal, friend. I'm confused. Well this is too bad. This is embarrassing. This doesn't even seem like a place that's supposed to be tricky. And I made it tricky for myself by wanting to investigate the daycare. What did he say? Did he say something? Did he say something important? Okay, you were just- you were just around the corner. You just went away and then came back when I came back. Oh. Frickin' frickity.

(9:21) Wow. Dot matrix. Eeeuuuughh! (Wheatley: Potato batteries...barely science, really, is it?) Barely science, really. Potato batteries. It's pow- it's powering an Aperture Laboratories alarm clock! Yes! Wow! Totally! This one says potato versus lemon. Pota - not a lemon. (Wheatley: Baking soda volcano.) That's good. (Wheatley: Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. But it's not terrifically individual, though.) No.

(9:58) Well, this one looks pretty impressive. Anything is possible with science. It's got a freaking Flux Capacitor that's still running! Oh, my God. (Wheatley: The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point, isn't it. At least you won't starve, though.) Yes, I'll be eating potatoes for the rest of my live. That's good, because so far I haven't eaten anything.

(10:18) Anyway. I've enjoyed exploring this episode of Hank and - clip - Hank plays Portal all by himself. But I'm going to end it here because it's time to end it. (Wheatley: I'm pretty sure we're going the right way) Okay. That's good. And you will not see me and I will not see you but you will hear me next time, click the annotation in the top right hand side of the video to watch, uh, to watch the next episode of Hank Green plays Portal. And you will hear me. Next time. Goodbye.