Hank Green: I knew that I had a lot of feelings about Harry Potter and about the last book coming out, but I didn't know that so many other people did too. And um, and so that song got sort of picked up by The Leaky Cauldron, first, um, and, and suddenly, like, I realized that there was this whole other world, you know? And it's real for us, you know? And uh, and so I started--I thought to myself, I should probably write more Harry Potter songs, but it took a little while um, before I finally did that, and I'm going to play all my Harry Potter songs in chronological order tonight, and I'm going to finish with one that I wrote last week. That I pretty much wrote entirely for LeakyCon, so I have never felt this, like--usually when I'm on stage, I'm--I like, hop around and I'm much more excited, but right now, I'm just sort of like...I feel like I felt at the end of the Harry Potter movie, where I'm just like...what is--what just happened to me? My life...I--oh my God, is this real life? So thank you all so much.

Oh, something just occurred to me while I was reading another book,
that I heard could be the next big thing, I thought
what would I give if that could be true?
If I could ever feel again the way I felt when I read you?

Well I'd pay a mil--sorry--pay a million galleons,
I'd dress up like I go to Beauxbatons.
I'd tattoo--ah, stupid bar chords--tattoo my head with a lightning bolt,
I'd pawn my wand and Firebolt.
But no matter how many good things I'm told,
everything I read turns out to be leprechaun gold.

Yeah, it's been so many years,
No matter how I try to read more young adult fiction,
I keep comin' up dry.
It's like, water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink,
My frustration, my agony, have pushed me to the brink.
I keep tilting back the glass but I never taste the water,
It seems no matter what I read, I think, this is not Harry Potter.
This is not Harry Potter.

Well, I was pretty impressed with Frankie Landau-Banks,
but compare saving the world with a couple epic pranks,
and there's no monopoly on non-human people,
There's fairies buggers, talking cats, and Nac Mac Feegle,
And Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes,
was fantastic but my Sneakoscope
would be flashing and spinning if I said
that it was the best book I've read.
And you've gotta know
that this is no joke,
when I also read lots of books that my own brother wrote.

Yeah, it's been so many years,
No matter how I try to read more young adult fiction,
I keep comin' up dry,
It's like, water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink,,
My frustration, my agony have pushed me to the brink.
I keep tilting back the glass but I never taste the water,
It seems no matter what I read, I think,
This is not Harry Potter.
This is not Harry Potter.

And in the darkest hours of my darkest nights,
I've found myself curled up with Twilight,
And I couldn't help but wonder as I ravenously read,
can you Avada Kedavra the undead?
Because Edward Cullen totally has it comin'
And if he saw Voldemort, then he'd better start runnin'
'Cause there's not much that the Dark Lord and I
Could agree on but I think that we would both hate that guy.
And Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington is a character name that
by itself is better than anything in Breaking Dawn.

Yeah, it's been so many years,
No matter how I try to read more young adult fiction,
I keep comin' up dry,
And Diagon Alley is cooler than Ankh-Morpork
and President Snow is no Voldemort
And Lyra Silvertongue is Mrs. Coulter's daughter,
That's a good plot twist, but it is not Harry Potter.
This is not Harry Potter.

(Cheering & Applause)

Dear Mr. Potter,
I got a lot to say to you.
I don't expect you to listen after all that you've been through,
but I'm saying this for me, I'm not saying it for you,
and it's true that I'--oh, sorry--and I'm also sayin' it for a few other people too.
And it's true that overall you get a positive review,
but I hope you don't mind,
I just got one question for you.

Well, is this it?
Is this the last piece of the pie,
the pie that most of us have been eating all of our adult lives?
Is this it?
Is this what we've been waiting for,
to watch as Daniel Radcliffe valiantly pretends to fight your war?
Is this it?
Is this it?
Is this it?
Is this it?

Dear Mr. Potter,
You did a lot for me,
you helped me pick up this guitar and learn more than G, C, and D,
you launched my whole career in actuality,
if it weren't for you, then literally none of this would be,
so I am hugely in your debt,
there's no doubt about that,
so I'm sorry if it seems if I won't get off your back

But is this it?
Is this the last piece of the pie,
the pie that most of us have been eating all of our adult lives?
Is this it?
Is this what we've been waiting for,
to watch as Alan Rickman tells us all why Snape killed Dumbledore?
Is this it?
Is this it?
Is this it?
Is this it?

Dear Mr. Potter,
I hope that you don't mind,
but it turns out that it's been years since we left you behind.
Because we're here because we love you,
we're not here for you,
We laugh and sing and learn and make videos for YouTube,
but more than any of that,
We're here to be with our friends,
and that's clearly not the sort of thing that will ever end.

So this ain't it!
No, this ain't it!
No, this ain't it!
No, this ain't it.
No, this ain't it, no, this place was built to last,
We got more fun in our future than we have in our past,
This ain't it.
We're here to watch and sing and play
We're gonna love these books and each other,
until our dying day,
This ain't it.
No, this ain't,
Well, this ain't it.
No, this ain't it.
No, this ain't it.
This ain't it.
This ain't it.
No, this ain't it.
No, this ain't it.
Oh, this ain't it.
We're gonna love these books and each other,
until our dying day.
So this ain't it.

I'm going to play--what? No, no, no, no, no, no requests, I have a set list tonight. No, we're gonna--we're doing something very special right now. I'm gonna play you Deathly Hallows again. But you know it is about Deathly Hallows? It's not a--it's not like a song for me, it's like...the thing that made all of this happen. So I care a lot about it, and to make it uh, to make it as big as it is for me, I'm going to do it again.

I'm getting kinda tired of this
pre-publication media blitz,
you've got all of Muggle kind under your spell.
Oh, don't you know the whole world's already gone and reserved a copy at Amazon,
How many more books could you sell?
How we doin'? Wha?
Now give me my book or go to hell!

'Cause I need Harry Potter,
like a Grindylow needs water,
and as that day approaches, my need grows,
yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio, book sales embargoes,
it'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose,
Accio Deathly Hallows.

I'm gettin' kind of petrified,
what would Ron do if Hermione died?
Or if Voldemort killed Hedwig just for yucks?
I have no confidence in theories about the Half Blood Prince,
and what if Harry's brain is a horcrux?
Aw, holy crap, that would freakin' suck!

'Cause I need Harry Potter,
like a Grindylow needs water,
and as that day approaches, my need grows,
yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio, book sales embargoes,
it'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose,
Yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows.


Whatever's up the sle--heh, where are we?
I've never done this before.
Where are we?
Whatever's up the sleeves--whatever's up the sleeves of JK Row--is that where we are?
I bet it has to do with Snape unbreakably vowing
to protect that pureblood pus face Malfoy.
But in the end, I don't think it's gonna matter,
if Snape's good or if he's bad,
because the weight of the world rests on our boy,

'Cause we need Harry Potter,
like a Grindylow needs water,
and as that day approaches, my need grows,
yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio, book sales embargoes,
it'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose,
Yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows,
Accio Deathly Hallows

But mostly, I'm just feeling sad,
I know this could end real bad,
but I wish it didn't have to end at all.
Yeah, I wish it didn't have to end at all.
--like a Grindylow needs water,
and as that day approaches, my need grows,
Accio Deathly Hallows,
Incendio, book sales embargoes,
It'll be like phoenix tears on a broken nose,
Yeah, Accio Deathly Hallows,
Accio Deathly Hallows,
Accio Deathly Hallows,
Accio Deathly Hallows,
Accio Deathly Hallows.

Thank you so much to Gred and Forge, but most of all, thank you to all of you for making my life really awesome. Thank you! And I will see you out there. I'll be at the merch booth for a while, too. Bye, guys! Thank you!