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In which Hank discusses marriage equality, which isn't actually an issue of marriage equality, it's an issue of human equality, and the fact that we're still struggling with it is very disappointing.


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A Bunny
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Good Morning John, r-rather complicated morning, John. 'Cause s-stuff's been going down this week.

As you know, the state of North Carolina, where our parents live, just decided to just outright ban gay marriage, like stick it in the Constitution. Opposing gay marriage is not a view point I understand and I know that this video is going to piss people off, and I don't care anymore. This isn't a political issue, it's just deciding that we are going to treat some citizens of our country differently than other citizens. That's wrong.

So I'm gonna go through some of the arguments that I hear and why they're crazy.

One. "What's the big deal? Why can't gay people, just you know, have a party and say that they are committed to each other? Why they gotta come in on our thing?" Irrelevant. This isn't complicated. If some people can get married and other people can't, then that's wrong.

Two. "But...God" Marriage can be a religious thing. It can also be a secular thing. And guess what? Not everyone in the world is of the same religion. Preventing gay people from getting married is not an expression of religious freedom. It's an expression of religious oppression. Because in the religion of gay people getting married, presumably their god thinks it's okay. And you are oppressing them.

"But...The Bible" The Bible is not a legal document. Our country was founded upon the idea of a separation between church and state. The Bible is also very explicit about the rules of farmers selling their daughters as slaves. Maybe not the best document to base our laws on.

"Gay marriage would undermine the institution of marriage" This is a thing that I have named; I've created a name for it in my head, because I see them all the time. I'm calling them hypothetheories. A hypothesis is a question that you ask. You say, 'I wonder if gay marriage would undermine the institution of marriage'. That's a hypothesis, that you can then go out and test in any number of ways. And then if you confirm that it is true and it explains phenomenon, then you can eventually confirm that into a theory. If you skip that middle step and just assume that now you have a true statement of fact, theory, then you have created what I call a hypothetheory. I could make the exact opposite hypothesis and it would be just as valid because it would have just as much testing behind it. I could say that not a lot of people who love each other to get married, that is undermining the institution of marriage. That seems like a valid thing, so let's go test it. So stop saying this as if it is truth, because you just made it up and you're like, "Oh! That makes sense to me! Why does that make so much sense to me, it does! Whatever! It must be true! Make sense?" And you know why it makes sense? It's because of the biggest actual complaint that people have about gay marriage which is:

"It's unnatural. It doesn't feel right to me." And maybe to you, it doesn't seem right because we build our world, we build the rules of the world that we live in. That's how we understand this place. And I think to a lot people, it feels like this is a big messy, gray world and at least there are some sharp distinctions. Like the distinctions between genders and sexual orientation and those are just lines that should always be hard lines, but saying that that simplicity is natural is idiotic because the most natural thing in the world is complexity, and gender and sexual orientation are proven over and over again to not be firm lines. This whole world is gray and if you just appreciate that, if you just understand that and appreciate that, then it's beautiful. But if you try and spend your whole life fighting against it, then you are going to be bitter about the world actually being more complicated than it is and you're gonna make other people's lives less awesome. Which is exactly what this boils down to.

Because there are a hundred arguments against gay marriage, you could come up with all kinds of hypothetheories and just spout them off and people will say, "Nod nod yes yes yes". But to me there is only one argument that matters for gay marriage. That all people should be seen as equals in eyes of the law. So North Carolina and all of the 30 other states that have passed laws like this, you better check yourself because we can't live in a society like that and call ourselves Americans.

John, I will see you on Tuesday.