"Look! A worm!"

"Yeah, they happen to be in the earth."

"Hold on, do it with your hands."

"Gentle!"

"Okay, I'm sor-"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday Hank!" crowd

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo!"

Good morning Hank, it's the most wonderful day of the year! It's Hanko do Mayo! Happy thirtieth birthday!

Hank, you're a tough guy to shop for, and Nerdfighteria spent the longest time thinking about what we should get you. We did get you this corn dogs shirt, hope you like that.

But that didn't seem like it was enough, so for the longest time we were tortured. What will we do for Hank on hie thirtieth birthday?!

But the we realized you like oxygen. And so to increase the overall oxygenation level of the world Nerdfighteria planted more than ten thousand plants and trees for you on six continents!

Even Henry got in on the act, he planted these Indiana native wildflowers for ya.

And now Hank, enjoy meeting some of the thousands of Hank trees and Hank plants that your awesome has inspired us to bring into the world. Happy birthday!

The years are going by so fast it really is bewilderin'
And we'll be so-called "grown ups" and have mortgages and children
I hope we all gain worldliness, and wisdom, and maturity
But I hope most of all that MySpace falls into obscurity

I hope our profiles all go dead, entombed in distant servers
A monument to our youth, although lacking its observers
Your page will be an empty shell, when no one is behind it
I hope your MySpace stays forever - and I hope that your kids find it
How I hope that you forget about your MySpace
I hope it slips completely from your mind
And I hope it stays up long enough for the next generation to find
And I hope that it embarrasses your children
Hope their bratty friends all forward it around
And I hope that you forget your password
So you cannot take it down

If your kids think you're vaguely square, it will be so much clearer
When they laugh at the pictures you took in your bathroom mirror
They will not know your favorite band, or any of the others
"Who is this Soulja Boy you reference, who's the Jonas Brothers?"

They'll marvel at how old you are, they'll "ROFL" at your outfits
Your style may pass as "vintage" in the future, though I doubt it
How I hope that you forget about your MySpace
I hope it slips completely from your mind
And I hope it stays up long enough for the next generation to find
And I hope that it embarrasses your children
Hope their bratty friends all forward it around
And I hope that you forget your password
So you cannot take it down
I hope your cynical kids say, "Holy crap, this is great
these comments date all the way back to 2008."
I hope they dig through your pictures, and find some we might call compromising
I hope that seeing young Mom in a swimsuit or smoking a hookah isn't too traumatizing
But it will be past their comprehension
They'll ask "Did Grandpa not give you enough attention?"

Denananananananana nanananananana nanananananananananannanana nanananananana

And who the hell is Tom? That guy knows everyone!

How I hope that you forget about your MySpace
I hope it slips completely from your mind
And I hope it stays up long enough for the next generation to find
And I hope that it will humble you forever
And I hope your kids won't let you live it down
And I hope that you forget your password
So you cannot take it down

They might go through your top 8 friends, read your comments at the most
I only wish that they could see the inane bulletins you post"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"I'm going to take these shoes and plant them, and then hopefully I'll get shoe trees! God, I hope they're dot martens!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Hank tree!"

"Hank, happy thirtieth birthday, and this is my version of the topsy-turvey tomato plant."

"Happy Hanko de Mayo!"

"I went out and bought these really pretty purple flowers that are in a hanging basket."

"Hank plant! Huzzah!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"We tried to get as nerdy flowers as possible."

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"I wake up in my racecar bed,
Tame the puff that's on my head,
My feet are cold as they hit the floor,
I don't think I'm home anymore.
John shouts, "Hank, I don't mean to scare ya,
But I think that we woke up in Nerdfighteria.
Settle down, clear the area,
Then look out the window."
Cause I don't know what it is that I can see.
This place is like the internet, but it's all in 3D.
There's no place I'd rather be
Than living here with my nerdy friends
Making videos happily
On Nerdfighteria Island.
Dressing up like I did in high school,
Taking sexy photographs,
Talking of women who like men
And giraffes who like giraffes.
Let's go down to Nerdfighteria City,
Where the roads are paved with Peeps,
And everyone is so witty,
And there are no perverted creeps.
Cause I don't know what it is that I can see.
This place is like the internet, but it's all in 3D.
There is nothing that I'd rather eat,
Than foods that perfectly blend,
God, I love smoothies made of meat
On Nerdfighteria Island.
There's certain rules you should obey,
Like don't ever FTBA,
And now I come to think of it,
Let's take the world-suck down a bit.
We don't care one iota,
About Winner, South Dakota,
Now we've got our awesome island,
With awesome seas and awesome awesome.
But I don't know what it is that I can see.
This place is like the internet, but it's all in 3D.
There's no place that I'd rather be
Than living here with my nerdy friends
Making videos happily
On Nerdfighteria Island.
On Nerdfighteria Island."

"Hi Hank, I know you like useful plants and stuff on your head, so I planted some parsley ad put it on my head. Happy Birthday!"

"Hey Hank, happy birthday! I planted you some of these plants, which will be named The Hank Plants."

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"DFTBA!"

"Breathe the oxygen. Hank is now watered. Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"We're jugglers/sword swallowers for VidCon. We planted three tomato plants because we wanted to raise the oxygen levels, and because my wife likes tomatoes."

"Happy thirtieth birthday, Hank! This is the tree that I planted for you."

"Happy birthday, Hank! I planted marigolds for you."

"This is begonia Hank."

"There are times
when the paper starts off empty
cause there's so much we don't know how to say
But if we think about it
it will all come out
if we remember it was waiting for today

These are things we want you to know

You should know the world is getting smaller
You should know how much these people care
and I know it seems like it's a lot to be
but we just thought that you should be aware

And you should know that this is just beginning
You should we're in it for the fight
If we find someday, it's done and packed away
Then it's because it all turned out alright

These are things we want you to know

I was taught that we're all getting older
But I've learned and I know that it's not true
Just take all these days
and let them melt away
because we've spent them here with you

You should know the things we have accomplished
and you should see the fondness we all share
And if you run aground
then just turn around
and we'll all be standing there

These are things we want you to know

There are times when you hear a thousand voices
and it spins, and nothing feels the same
But when they've moved on
when they've hushed and gone
you remember that we all know your name

These are things we want you to know"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo! This is my plant; his name is Hank."

"Happy birthday!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo!"

"Happy birthday, Hank!"

"Happy birthday!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo!"

"I'm gonna go plant some peas."

"This is for your hug bucket!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo, everybody!"

"Happy Hanko de Mayo!"

"Happy thirtieth birthday, Hank! (in another language) These are nerdfighter sign helpers because I can't do the sign."

"Hank is my hero!"