John: 'It's hard with the kids behind you, knowing that they're laughing at you.'

The Yeti/Sarah: *laughs* 'It's not hard at all.'

John: 'They didn't even notice, they didn't even notice, they didn't even notice. Some of the people there at the Amsterdam sign, they noticed. They're looking at us a little bit. Yup! That's okay though.'

Nerdfighters: "Good morning Hank!"

John: 'Hank, it's Sunday. It's news day. And the news today is that I went to the Netherlands and I want to tell you about it. So Hank I've just gotten home from a week of touring Holland with two other American authors, Jordan Sonnenblick and Steven Kluger, and, man, it was fun! God, I love the Netherlands! I love its public transportation, the amazingly nice teachers' lounges in its public schools. Its daring architecture and, of course, its amazing cafes with their brilliant bitterballs! Bitterballen! Oh man, Hank, I wish you had taste-o-vision so you could know what happens when they mix meat and hope and then fry it.

Mmmm. Hope.

Oh, Hank, and also on this trip to the Netherlands I discovered a new, amazing Dutch delicacy - "Hakinshlakin" (Hagelslag)! By the way, I pretty much made up the name "Hakinshlakin".

It's a Dutch delicacy. It's white bread, butter and, uh, chocolate, uh, sprinkles and I'm gonna *shoves bread into mouth* It's delicious. Really. Some say it's the new bitterballs.

I mean, Hank, as the poet hath wrote, "Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven, is a place on Earth." And, as if all that weren't enough, on Thursday night, the city of Amsterdam was inundated with more than one hundred made-of-awesome nerdfighters for an evening of hilarity, fun and me epically failing in reading in Dutch.'

(John epically failing at reading in Dutch, audience corrects him)

John: Hank, look! Ahhhhh! Oh, Hank, look! Wooden shoes with Willy. He's a pirate!
When I say bitter, you say balls.'
John: 'Bitter!'
Nerdfighters: 'Balls!'
John: 'Bitter!'
Nerdfighters: 'Balls!'

(Nerdfighters singing "Accio Deathly Hallows")

John: 'I mean, Hank, people were singing a song you wrote, in a bar, in Amsterdam. Allow me to quote David, after his visit to the dentist, "I feel funny. Is this real life?"

Oh, and Hank, one other story is that I was being interviewed by a journalist in Holland and she said she'd read Paper Towns in both English and Dutch and then she said, "It was MUCH better in Dutch." And then, I was like, "Why?" and then she said, "Much funnier." So nerdfighters, if you can read in Dutch, you should definitely buy Paper Towns in Dutch. That way my publisher, Lemniskaat, will bring me back over to Holland and I can eat more bitterballen and more "Hakinshlakin" and I will live happily ever after.

Okay, Hank, there are a bunch of awesome links, Amsterdam-y and otherwise, in the sidebar. I will talk to you about the Peeps-eating situation on Tuesday and - now I have to go sleep. DFTBA!