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In which John explains why he is always taken aside and searched when attempting to enter the great nation of Canada due to The Insufficient Funds Incident of 1995.

I'm at the Perimeter Institute in Canada learning how to get smarter by watching YouTube. Here are some channels you should subscribe to:
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A Bunny
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Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday. VidCon is this week; in a related story "Haaahhhh" is the sound that my anxiety makes.

So Hank I'm in a hotel in Canada at a conference about educational video, featuring, like, CGP Grey and Vsauce and MinutePhysics and Vi Hart. Tons of fascinating people!

But Hank, the operative word there is "Canada" because as you remember from the last time that we went to Canada, it is not easy for me to get into Canada.

Right, so this happens every time I come to Canada, but I fly in, I have my customs forms filled out, I get in line, and then I am sent to like the special immigration office for felons and other undesirables.

And then I am asked if I have ever been denied entrance to Canada before. And I say yes: in 1995 I was denied entrance to your fine country due to insufficient funds.

So Hank, this was in the halcyon days before teenagers had credit cards and when I was a freshman in college a friend of mine and I, we drove up to Windsor, Ontario (is it a friend of mine and I, or a friend of mine and me? A friend of mine and I! I was right to begin with. I should trust my instincts!)

So we drove to Windsor with a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew, a loaf of bread, and some peanut butter. And $14. I don't know by what definition that constitutes "insufficient funds". So we try to cross the border, they search our car for drugs, then they turn us around for insufficient funds. We go back to America where they again search our car for drugs, this time for 3 hours, even though we never got to Canada.

But it was fine. We had a nice story when we got back to college: "We were too poor for Canada." And Hank, I've never had a problem getting into Canada until 2001, when suddenly my name appeared on a list of undesirables.

And now every single time I go to Canada I am forced to explain again that in 1995 I was deemed insufficiently wealthy to visit this great nation. Oh, and they search my bags and let me go on my way.

So anyway, today I asked the guy, "Is this going to last forever? Is there any way I can clear my name, make a donation to your healthcare system, or something that will allow me not be on the list?" And he said, and I'm quoting him directly here, Hank, "Mr. Green, you're going to die on that list."

So, Hank, that's my story on how I became undesirable to Canadians. Canadians, perhaps this helps you understand why I don't tour here more often. Also, nerdfighters, if history tells us anything, it's that Hank will fail to upload his video on Friday due to VidCon stress. So prepare your punishment ideas and leave them in comments!

Did I say comets or comments? I really don't enunciate very well for an ostensibly professional video blogger.