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Uploaded:2012-11-15
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Hank is on a ship! He makes up a sea shanty! The traveler fights a bunch of sailors.
Hank: Hello and welcome to Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed 3, this is Assassin's Creed 3, I don't even know this guy's name yet. But, this is a ship and it's got an awful lot of space on the inside of it for hallways and stuff which seems not useful, but there are people's little rooms.

It's a little dark but I don't want to turn up the brightness on my TV but - what is this? What you got? You got some equipment hopefully for use on the boat.

Oh, are you okay? Are you all right? Are you giving this guy a massage, do you want some reiki?

Haytham: Good morning doctor.

Hank: Oh he's a doctor.

Doctor: To you as well

Hank: What happened to this guy?

Haytham: A question, if I may. Do you serve aboard this ship or are you simply taking passage?

Hank: Little of both.

Doctor: It's a bit of both actually.

Hank: Wow I called it!

Doctor: I've been commissioned by the Royal Navy to study maritime illness, I'll be observing the crew during the journey. We have found that sailors fare far better on the open seas than the rest of us. I hope to discover why that is.

Hank: Interesting.

Haytham: Well, I hope you are successful in your endeavors.

Hank: Ah, that's interesting.

Doctor: As do I. Thank you for the kind words.

Hank: I wanna know the answer, tell me why. Apparently those things are not for use on the ship, there are for use on patients. So, a little bit of autoclave would be nice in that hizzle, as it were.

Haul on the bowline, bowline haul. I thought I could go above decks but apparently not. I can smell this place just by looking at it. I do not like, do not want - it's a big boat. Boston it's headed? Headed these goods for Boston, these goods for Waterbury. That sounds like another sea shanty waiting to happen.

This shelf for Boston, this shelf for Waterbury, this shelf is going to my dear lady. This shelf for Boston, this shelf for Waterbury, this shelf for my girl home.

Mills: ...and then all will be well.

Graves: You sure about that?

Mills: Of course - have I ever led you astray?

Graves: Nah, but it don't sit right with the others.

Mills: Have faith my friend. You'll see.

Graves: Well well, seems our esteemed guest has deigned to grace us with his presence.

Hank: Oh come on!

Graves: You might wanna head back to your quarters, top deck's no place for tender Parnells.

Sailors: *laugh*

Haytham: So I thought, and yet here you are.

Sailors: OH!

Hank: I have killed more people than you've seen in your life.

Sailor: Fancy yourself a joker eh? Let's see how funny you find this.

Haytham: We're gonna fight?

Mills: That's enough Graves.

Graves: Stay out of this.

Hank: Oh, I'm gonna learn how to fight, I'm gonna learn how to fight by fighting this guy. Hold B. Yeah. Oh, dude dude dude. Oh, right in the -

Sailor: Listen to this Hector, thinks he can swagger on up here and declare himself king of the castle.

Hank: Oh, we're gonna try a different guy?

Mills: Please, call this off! If the captain sees us-

Sailor: To hell with the captain, and to hell with you Mills. Who's side are you on anyway?

Hank: Press B to counter. Oh, I already did that once. OH! How's your head? Not so good? Cause of how I just bonked it on the...

Graves: We're ready to go again if you are?

Haytham: This is unwise.

Graves: Why is that? You think I'm afraid of ya?

Hank: No.

Haytham: No, but you should be.

Hank: What am I doing? What's going on? Wow, ow! He hit me. Oh, your leg, oh your head. Oh, so many parts of you.

Haytham: Do you yield?

Graves: Never!

Hank: I'm on the ground. Oh, a sword.

Graves: How do you like these odds?

Hank: I'll be fine. Oh, A. Thanks for the knife.

Captain: What's the meaning of this?

Hank: I got this shiv.

Captain: Explain yourself at once Mr. Kenway!

Haytham: These four-

Mills: We were simply passing the time with a bit of sport Captain.

Captain: How about you pass the time by doing your goddamn jobs instead.

Hank: Language captain.

Captain: I wasn't aware I was paying you to loll about! A word please, Mr. Kenway?

Hank: That was probably a pretty bad curse back then, just saying.

Haytham: Oh, I nearly forgot. There's your knife back.

Hank: Everybody all right? That was fun, learning how to fight. A blue icon designates an ally.

Captain: I don't care for you Mr. Kenway. I've had nothing but trouble since you came aboard.

Haytham: Your problems have nothing to do with me.

Captain: I beg your pardon?

Haytham: You're a poor leader, ill tempered and cruel and it's clear your crew have no respect for you.

Captain: Look - I don't want to argue. In fact, I need a favor.

Hank: That is a very American outfit for a guy who doesn't - I guess the colors of the...

Haytham: Oh this is rich.

Captain: I suspect some of the men intend to mutiny.

Haytham: Really, what a surprise?

Captain: As I cannot trust any of them, I am compelled to turn to you.

Haytham: And why should I help you?

Captain: Because if they do intend to betray, I'm the only hope you have of reaching America alive.

Hank: Oh, we haven't been on this boat for very long because I saw some land...

Captain: Well, what will it be?

Haytham: If what you say is true, what other choice do I have?

Hank: We're not at open sea yet?

Captain: Thank yo-

Haytham: But let me be clear, should you ever dare to insult or threaten me again, I'll not hesitate to cut off your head myself.

Hank: Okay.

Haytham: Are we understood?

Hank: That's why I wear this cravat.

Haytham: Excellent. Good day.

Hank: It helps protect my neck from choppies like yourself. I call you choppies. That's a weird way to pour a bottle of booze. Limit health loss, ten percent - reach your cabin to end the day. I'm gonna go reach my cabin to end the day.

How do you lay circular boards like this? Where did this circular tree come - I guess all trees are circular. That's a good point, people who aren't me who are making a point.

Going down. Haul - I've got that song in my head. This shelf for Waterbury, this shelf for Boston. Um, where's my room, I'm confused by the layout of this boat. Is it right there, did I walk right past it? It's this one, it's this room? Oh, it is, I thought, I got confused.

I would keep that on you at all times. I don't know. Interesting, interesting, mappy, mappy. Yes. I don't know how much of a detailed map they would have had of the west coast at this point in history, I'm curious about what's behind you for an anachronism, just trying to find anachronisms. It's important to me, to make me feel like a smart person.

Okay, fine, fine, we're not doing that, we're doing something else. We are headed across the Atlantic Ocean which is - I'm pro heading across the Atlantic Ocean, in either direction really, just to increase international communication.

Captain: Mr Kenway

Hank: Yes sir, I mean -

Haytham: Captain.

Hank: You okay?

Captain: Whatever they're up to, I believe it's coming to a head.

Hank: Are we having a mutiny?

Haytham: I'd best get to work.

Hank: Haul on the bowline, bowline haul. All right, I'm gonna investigate some crew, if that's okay with you. I'm gonna interact. Hey Jeff!

Graves: You looking for another fight, that it?

Hank: No Jeff, I just was curious - tell me more about-

Graves: Go away.

Hank: Tell me more about you grievances. I'm curious. Well that was useless, that was some prime investigation. I feel like this is LA Noir right here. 'Sup Jerry.

Haytham: You there, I have some questions for you.

'Jerry': That's nice, but I ain't got time to gossip. Probably wouldn't have anything useful to share anyway. You want information? Try the cook, or the doctor - everyone's always chatting them up.

Hank: I think I will. All right, I can at least jog. This looks like fun, can I dance? I'm dancing, dance, I just wanna dance with you guys, can we dance? Can we dance together? Let's dance. Wow, that was an exceptional little computer glitch there. You cannot separate these two. Well, that was worth it.

Hey cook, what's up cookie? Whatcha cooking? What's cooking cook? 

Cook: Won't be serving for another couple hours. There are some biscuits in the barrel if you're desperate.

Hank: Yeah, I don't want no hard tack, thanks.

Haytham: Actually, I've come with a question.

Cook: What's that?

Haytham: Have any of the men been acting strange recently, said anything that struck you as out of the ordinary?

Cook: The boys cry about the rations - as if there's anything I can do about it - but beyond that I ain't heard much. My advice? Go find James, his ears are always open.

Hank: Yes sir.

Haytham: And where might I find him?

Cook: Right behind you actually, he's the one sitting on the barrel.

Hank: Huh, barrel gossip. Who's on the barrel? You? Is this a barrel? That's not a barrel. That one, that barrel over there. That was not behind me at all.

Haytham: Are you James?

James: Aye.

Haytham: Haytham Kenway, pleased to meet you.

Hank: So, Jeff, Jerry and James.

James: I know who you are.

Hank: Strange coincidence.

Haytham: I was hoping you could answer some questions.

James: I figured as much, but not here. Follow me.

Hank: Okay, let's go back to my room.

James: So, whatcha want to know?

Haytham: Have you seen or heard anything out of the ordinary since we left port, anything that gives cause for concern?

Hank: Yes, we're in the middle of an ocean on a bunch of wood.

James: Some of the men have been gathering at night on the upper deck. I've only caught bits of their conversation so I couldn't say for certain what they're up to - but I suspect it bodes ill.

Haytham: Is it a mutiny they're planning?

James: All I know is they've little love for the captain. Mills has been trying to talk them down but there's only so much one man can do.

Hank: So far I don't mind this story, I'm into it.

James: I only wish to see us reach the colonies alive.

Hank: I agree. Also, I've got this very expensive, one of a kind artifact from the people who came before and if we sink, that gets lost forever and that would be terrible. Oh, flash of flash.

Sailor: Evening sir.

Hank: You can't just tie that down or...

Haytham: How are things?

Sailor: Calm and quiet, just the way I like it.

Hank: Sweet.

Sailor: What brings you topside?

Hank: Boring, but sweet.

Haytham: Thought I'd wonder a bit. Stretch my legs. That's all.

Sailor: Take care where you tread, the deck hides all manner of danger in the dark.

Haytham: What was that? Someone's throwing cargo overboard, but why?

Hank: Oh, they're having a little party. A little tea party. Oh, investigate the noise on the lower deck. Well, I'm gonna do that next time, if there's no objections. I'm gonna investigate what's going on on the lower deck next time on Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed 3 where you will not see me and I will not see you but hmhmhdcvkhyfckjjk... goodbye.