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In which Lindsey gives you some more info on condoms. Sizing, types, alternative uses, how they're made, good stuff!

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Host: Dr. Lindsey Doe

Directing/Filming/Editing: Nicholas Jenkins

Titles: Michael Aranda

Executive Producer: Hank Green

Do you see this vest? 500 or more condoms were used in the making of it! And it has a hood!


Cave wall drawings dating back twelve to fifteen thousand years show something on the head of penises that historians call condoms. We don't know what the function of condoms were thousands of years ago, but now we use them for keeping guns barrel clean. This is not a penis metaphor. It just keeps out the sand. Keeping cell phones and microphones dry. Survivor kits as fire starters and water bottles. They are also quite popular in preventing pregnancy and infections and the leaching of chemicals into your body from sex toys. 

So you wanna know how to use them correctly! First, you take the condom and make sure it's not expired. Slide it over to the side, use your other hand to tear the packaging so that it doesn't go through the actual condom itself. Push. Grab with your fingertips, not your fingernails. Test it out by rolling it down on two of them. Grab the loose end and stick it on the head of the penis. Retract the foreskin if you have one. And then slight it all the way down. Leaving this receptacle at the end to collect any fluid. 

This is a very carefully manufactured, meticulously tested, quality-assured invention. To make one of these sex shields, phallic glass forms are dipped in one of three materials. Latex, polyurethane, and polyisoprene. Latex. Polyurethane. Polyisoprene. 

There's also a lambskin condom which is made a little differently. For starters, in a sheep's body, its intestines. On the positive side, it's biodegradable. On the negative "this condom does not protect against HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections." 

These are the effective ones.

Doctor Doe puppet show!

Even more so when there's less this, this, this. And more talking. 

Next, they are cleaned, powder dusted, and inspected for imperfections. Electronically. With volts of electricity, stretching machines, inflation, even microscopic scans that are looking for sterility.


What you wanna know is that oil is not compatible with latex. Oil deteriorates latex. 


This is huge! Who is too big for this?! 

The discomfort that usually drives users away band width. Or latex allergies. 

Latex allergies? Use polyisoprene or polyurethane. 

If it's band width, try this. There's a easy to print out called a fit kit. Two rulers. Cut 'em out. On an erect penis, use the rulers to measure length and girth. This one is a Z77. When you figure out your code, contact Condomania. They'll tell you what the best condom is for your dimensions. 

For the six percent of penises that actually don't fit in condoms, I recommend using a female condom or what I prefer to call in-condoms. These go inside the receptive partner rather than on the penetrative partner. 


The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. The largest sex study since Kinsey found "Adults using a condom for intercourse were just as likely to rate the sexual event positively in terms of arousal, pleasure and orgasm than when having intercourse without one." 


There are an estimated two hundred million women who want contraception but can't access it. There are even more people who can access it but don't. 

The result, yearly, is an estimated eighty million unintended pregnancies. That's the sum population of California, Oregon, Texas, and Ohio. With a 270 ton carbon footprint, about 750 for North Americans, condoms are probably the cheapest solution to climate change. Less people. 

Implementing this positively impacts the planet more than changing your driving use, diet, housing, recreation, everything! 

It' is also cheap, easy to use, and pretty darn fashionable. 

Have safer sex, save the planet, and stay curious. 


[whispering] Please don't break. Please don't break. Just don't break. Okay.
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