Good morning, Hank.

It's Thursday, November 1st. Hank, I want to begin by congratulating you on your rap song yesterday. Um, I laughed a lot.

I wasn't always laughing with you, but I laughed a lot. So, in today's video I want to talk a little bit about Nerdfighters. Hank, you know what I really like?

What I like more than anything else in the entire world? Nerdfighters. I have never met a Nerdfighter I didn't like.

I like going to My Pants and seeing what they're talking about. I like reading their comments. I like watching their videos.

I like it when they send me pictures. So, from all over the world, this, like, nation has been built out of nerds. I mean, it's a small nation; it's like, Liechtenstein.

But, Hank, there are two kinds of nerdfighters that I like better than all of the other nerdfighters in the world. First: little ones. Like, last night, Hank, there was this six year-old nerdfighter who was trick or treating and he came up to my door and he said "Trick or treat?!" and I said,"What are you dressed as?", and he said, "L'etat, c'est moi," and I was like "Are you Louis the XIV?", and he said, "Oui!

Trick or treat?" Little nerdfighters, so cute! And Hank, my other kid of favorite nerdfighter is when a nerdfighter finds another nerdfighter and they fall in nerdfighter-like. And, Hank, I happen to have inside information that that precise thing has recently happened.

One of our secret siblings, I'm not gonna reveal his or her name because she asked me -- DARN IT -- not to, has just started seeing another nerdfighter, a somewhat prominent nerdfighter -- I'm not naming any names. All I'm gonna say, Hank, is that both of these people are so awesome that if and when their awesome collides, it could result in a kind of nuclear chain reaction of awesome that could potentially lead to world peace. But Hank, there's a problem!

Take a guess at what the problem is, Hank. It's geography. The difference between Nerdfighteria and, say Liechtenstein (By the way, do you think there's any way we could take over Liechtenstein?

I mean, I know that nerds aren't known for their military capabilities, but does Liechtenstein even have a standing army?) is that Liechtenstein is located in one place whereas Nerdfighteria is located in like thirty thousand different places. Which is fine, because there are still great places in Nerdfighteria to hang out, like My Pants. Hank, the only problem is that occasionally you need to do something other than hang out, like you need to, like, touch, and hug, and that's all.

Let's make it perfectly clear for all the young nerdfighters out there: mommy and daddy nerdfighters don't do anything but touch and hug. Hank, our secret sibling and her nerdfighter boy are separated by geography. Fortunately, Hank, it's a geography that can be traversed by train.

But Hank, they're not business people, they're nerdfighters, so they don't have any money. Without the money, they can't get on the train. Without the train, they can't bring together their awesome.

And so I heard about this, and I was so upset, Hank, because, like, it's like my second favorite kind of nerdfighter, right behind nerdfighter babies! But Hank, then I remembered. We created a foundation to deal with this very kind of problem!

So Hank, we're gonna do it. There will be complexities. There will be complications.

It's gonna take a little bit, but we're gonna do it! It's going to cost somewhere around a hundred bucks, Hank. If any nerdfighters want to contribute to the project, they're welcome to do so at brotherhood2.com.

Hank, here is the semi-abstract pumpkin painting that Sarah and I made of you last night. By the way, when I say "Sarah and I", I mean almost entirely Sarah. I'll see you on Monday.

No, wait, tomorrow! P. S.

In Indianapolis, Indiana, there's a Subway restaurant just south of 86th Street on Ditch Road. Around the corner from that Subway, you will find two metal boxes. Something is taped to the top of one of them.

If you find that something, you should report its nature and contents immediately at brotherhood2.com/mypants. Thus begins the worldwide nerdfighter scavenger hunt. See you in My Pants.