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Uploaded:2018-06-11
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I've been threatening you with this video for weeks now so...let's do it LET'S START MY PATH TO BECOMING A BRAND SPOKESPERSON FOR SOMETHING TRULY IMPORTANT TO ME AND THE WORLD!!!

METAMUCIL...CALL ME MAYBE!
When you're an internet creator, you get brand deals sometimes. It's like a preroll (?~0:05) advertisement except it's coming out of my mouth. Like all that information in the marketing spot got filtered through my brain, through and came out of my mouth and it seems more influential because people are skeptical these days about advertising. And we know that it's all fake, so maybe if you hear it from a trusted source, like Hank Green, then it's true. And I do.

You can't pick what brands you say yes to but you can pick what brands you say no to if that makes sense. A number of people will come, and someone will be like, "No, I'm not going to advertise that product." And then they'll be like, "Well we'll send you this thing, and if you like the thing, tell the people about it." And I'm not alluding myself-- Alluding? That's probably not the right word-- into believing that I am not being influenced by the fact that I'm getting the product for free and I might get a bunch of money if I like it. So I'm given the incentive to like it by the potential of the brand deal. But, I do say no to plenty of brand deals.

Like, I've said no to Coca-Cola for example because I love Coca-Cola, but in a way where I realize it's not a healthy thing I want to spread across the world. If I could push a button and have Coca-Cola not exist, I would, actually no, if I could push a button and get rid of all sugar water, because that temptation is too much. Because I love it so much, it's a wonderful flavor to have in your mouth. You want to just suck in that candy, but I don't want to encourage people to drink Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola tasting the way it does, does that enough on its own. We don't need more people drinking candy water. So I've said no to Coca-Cola before, I've said no to a bunch of brands. But the thing that you can't do is pick, you can't say, "Of all the great products of the world, my favorite thing is this thing and I want to work with that company." And it's very difficult to make that happen. Usually, you have to pick from the people that come knocking, people that go knocking to the agency and the agency comes knocking to you.

And sometimes you don't want to say how much you love something, just in case some future date comes by where that company wants to pay you to say it. As an... influencer, you don't want to necessarily tell everyone you love a thing before they come and say they'll pay you to say that. I'm gonna undo that work, and tell you about a product, and if you've been paying attention to Dear Hank and John, maybe not, or Delete This definitely, my Twitter feed also, you know about my affinity for this product. There is a natural fiber supplement called Metamucil. There are generic versions of this, and if this were a brand deal I wouldn't be telling you that they are slightly less expensive than Metamucil. But I'm brand loyal to Metamucil, I think it's high quality, I like the taste. They did an excellent job of innovating a product that's important to the health of individuals, but I also think of the entire nation.

I am of the opinion that if everyone did a spoonful of Metamucil a day, and this is not an overwhelmingly pleasant experience, this is not drinking a Coke here. But if everyone did this once a day, the amount of happiness in the country would increase by a measurable amount. I'm not saying everyone is going to benefit, NO I AM. I am! I'm going to say everyone is going to benefit from this. If you have a person in your life, who goes to the health food store, and consumes, maybe your this person, consumes things with the hope that you'll get over your cold faster, or not get a cold, help your joint health or something. In the ways that it says on the bottle, this is not approved for medical use by the FDA, if you are doing that and you are not taking Metamucil, I don't understand you.

This is a product that has been proven over and over again to have huge, substantial health benefits. Maybe you don't need it because you've eaten a lot of fruits and vegetables and you've got enough insoluble fiber in your life already, but I don't know anybody that's actually like that. I don't know anybody like that person. Maybe they're out there, I don't know them. It is different. I have people that tell me, "Hank. I don't have problems pooping. I probably poop too much, I don't need Metamucil." You do need Metamucil! It doesn't help you poop, it helps you have good poops.

I am here to say to Metamucil and also to you that I want to stand from the rooftops and announce to people that having good poops is a part of having a good life. I will sell this product. I have the skills necessary. If you put me in charge of the campaign. I don't even need to be in charge of the campaign, but you can put me in charge of the campaign. I want a budget from the people probably at Proctor & Gamble, which is what I'm gonna guess who owns Metamucil. That's my guess, let me check. It almost certainly is, because Proctor & Gamble owns everything. 

Metamucil owner, ENTER. That's not. No, Metamucil is owned by Psyllium, that's what's in Metamucil. I need to find out who owns Metamucil because it's definitely not an independent company. It's owned by Proctor & Gamble, that took too much time to figure out. So if you work at Proctor & Gamble, if you happen to be the chief marketing officer at Proctor & Gamble, look I don't know if Metamucil is an important brand to you guys, I don't know how much you sell, but I would like to open up a new market for you. People who care about things like, where does Metamucil come from? Is it good for the environment? Yes, it is. It's a natural plant fiber, that's a waste product of agricultural processing, so this is stuff that we would otherwise throw away. It's so good, it's inexpensive because of that. It's a product that's sustainable, it's a byproduct of another industry, people don't even create it. People don't grow crops to grow Psyllium, the Psylliumgrows other ways.

A lot of people have told me that they don't like the taste of Metamucil, and to them I say maybe you haven't tried it recently because there are a variety of ways to get Psylliuminside of you that are pleasant. I like to plain Psylliumhusk, the regular Metamucil formula. It tastes a little bit like drinking a bread, but I like bread. It's actually surprisingly close to being gluten free. If you're super gluten intolerant then it might be a problem, but it's way down in the parts per million range of gluten. It also helps lower cholesterol. It also helps you feel more full, so it's good to have right before a meal. I tend to do it before I eat, and I'll stop eating sooner and realize I'm full. It's a problem that I have, where I keep eating because I think I'm still hungry even though I've eaten enough. And then 5 minutes later I realize I might have made a mistake, which is also bad for your digestive health. If you have digestive problems. and I know some people out there have good poops every single day. There are parts of that process that are genetic, some parts are microbiome but there's also the stuff that you eat, and it matters. 

Metamucil helps you have the stuff necessary to keep everything moving efficiently in your digestive system. One way that it was put to me once was that it gives something for your intestines to grab onto as it pushes, so if you're going to the bathroom a lot and having a lot of cramps, your intestines, the process of pushing things through is because your body doesn't have enough things to push on. You want there to be things for it to push on. While it adds bulk, this is a thing they say, it also makes it less hard for you to be able to poo. If your poo is less hard, it makes it easier and more pleasant to do the thing, and if you have problems like fissures or hemorrhoids, it makes the process better. It also speeds up the process.

I know a lot of people nowadays are like "Well I don't need to speed up the process, I've got Twitter. I could be here for half an hour and not have problems. My legs could fall asleep. I could not have legs at all. I've got the internet, why do I need stuff? I'll just live on the toilet." Well, it's good for the people in your life for you to not always be on the toilet. It's also probably good for you to not always be on the toilet, because that can cause problems, like some of the ones I mentioned earlier. I'm perfectly comfortable about being open and honest about the benefits of a healthy digestive system. I want to get on the rooftops and do dumb advertisements for Metamucil so young people will invest in their digestive futures.

Maybe you aren't having these problems seriously now, but you hit 40 and suddenly, hemorrhoid isn't just a punchline anymore, I have to sit on a donut. Like an inflatable donut, don't sit on a regular donut cause that will stain your pants.  I am here for this product that is not expensive, and is one of the best supplements for your body. I am here for science-based high-quality products that are being ignored because it's not sexy. I want to make it sexy. I want to be the what's that guy from the Old Spice commercials, but for Metamucil. I'll show you my muscles, they're gonna have to be enhanced with CGI, but we'll make it work. Or you can just get that guy, he's also probably available.

All I want to say is that I want to be a passionate advocate for you whether or not you're paying me, Metamucil. And I want to do that not because it's good for me, I want to do it because it's good for the health of the world. It is a low cost, science-based, evidence-proven way to make your life better. And this isn't just about you right now. It's about your entire future, you need to do things today that will do things to help you in the future. That's why you brush your teeth, that's why you put money in the bank. That's why you invest in the stock market, that's why you go to school, all these things are part of you making good decisions now, so you in the future will have a better life. And this is one of the easiest, cheapest, most efficient ways to do that. Metamucil or any other Psyllium fiber, until they give me the brand deal, I'm gonna be talking about the generic versions because they are available and slightly less expensive, though all of them are cheap, is a great product that will make your life better. Nothing like a clean pinch.