Hank Green: It's exactly where I thought it was, but I couldn't get to it. Hi. (Laughter) I have to figure out which thing to plug in. 

Audience Member: That's what she said.  (More laughter) 

Hank: I believe that is actually what he said. Just to be clear. Just in case you were a little confused about your physiology. Let's try and, let's try and to fix that.  It's important to me that we all understand science, so sometimes I write songs about science.

Audience Member: Science.

Hank: Science!

Audience: Science!

Hank: This song is about science. It used to be about science and Amanda Bynes, but I cut the Amanda Bynes part out.  (laughter) 
 This is great.  (laughter) It's about quarks.  (audience cheers) Raise your hand if you know who quark is. (cheers) Now well keep them up. Now Now... Keep your hands up if you know what a quark is. Okay. That's good. That's good (?) inspiration.  Now keep your hand up if you understand what a quark is. (laughter) 
We've got like one hand up and I don't believe him.  (laughter)

This song about quarks is called Strange Charm. It's brand new. It's not even on my album so you can't have it. (laughter)

(plays guitar)
A quark is a fundamental constituent of matter
Observed in 1968 through deep electric scatter.
We thought that -- we found that protons were more complex than we thought.
We thought they were solid particles but, they are not.

Protons in fact are made up of three separate pieces.
It just gets more confusing as our knowledge increases.
And that is what a quark is; It's a piece of a proton,
And they also make up other things including the neutron.

Oh, up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom
If you don't know what a quark is, it don't matter you still got 'em.
And with leptons and bosons, unless something's amiss,
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.

Things made up of quarks including protons and neutrons
Are composite particles that physicists call hadrons.
Many types of hadrons are theoretically described,
But most exist for only very brief amounts of time.

Quarks have electric charge, color charge, mass and spin,
And having color charge means they exist solely inside
Of other kinds of particles and cannot exist alone.
Which is why quarks have never been studied on their own.

Up, down, strange, charm, top, bottom
If you don't know what a quark is it don't matter you still got 'em.
And with leptons and bosons, unless something's amiss,
They make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.

These tiny bits of matter are a part of almost everything
And there is no unified theory to make it less confusing.
But the fact that we've identified that they exist at all
Is so remarkable that I am constantly in awe.

Oh, up, down, strange charm, top, bottom
If you don't know what a quark is it don't matter you still got 'em.
and with leptons and bosons, unless something's amiss,
they make up everything that we can see and that we know exists.
(Crowd cheers)
Did that look like the power of your applause pushing me over? Cause that was the mime I was going for. (Laughter)

So we are going to switch over from particle physics to evolutionary biology. (Crowd cheers) Is everyone in favor of that? (Crowd cheers) Ok. (Laughter) So there's this fish -- (laughter) -- in the deep sea.

It's called the Anglerfish and you've seen them, they have gigantic teeth and things hanging off their head that make light. (Crowd cheers)

Which is just weird right? But that's not the only weird thing about them 'cause sometimes, turns out, there are so many ang-- there, there's so much ocean and so few Anglerfish that when a male Anglerfish and a female Anglerfish see each other it's very important that they never part.

Because it's very unlikely that a female Anglerfish will see a male Anglerfish at the moment that which she actually needs him. (Laughter) Which is not very frequently as it turns out. (Laughter)

I think some of us knows what that's like. (Laughter) So when a male Anglerfish sees a female Anglerfish he bites her. And that's not unusual, I mean we all bite each other sometimes. (Laughter)

But it is unusual in that the female Anglerfish has an enzyme in her skin that dissolves the male angler fish's flesh until he becomes a part of her body. (Crowd cheers)

Which you know -- mhmm? (Laughter) I love my wife. I might go that route.

Katherine: I love you too! (Laughter)

Hank: But he actually -- he basically senesces into her body and their circulatory systems fuse until he becomes a sperm producing parasite on her side. (Laughter)

And this song is about that. It's about being happy -- (Laughter) -- I honestly did not think that was a joke. (Laughter) I love you, honey. (Laughter) Uh, this song is called The Anglerfish Song:

Yes it’s true that I once went through life as the guy who always had to rhyme life with strife!
Yes I’ve been burned,
and I’ve been spurned,
And through it all, my friends, I've learned,
That love is not about whether you get stabbed,
It's how slow the knife gets turned! (Laughter)

But my friends I’ve found an animal who doesn’t feel this pain,
And my life is so much better now that I can feel the saaaaame!

Because you can’t hate the night,
If you’ve lived your whole life without light!
And you can’t hate the dish,
If you’ve only ever eaten fish!
And you can’t feel alone if it’s all you’ve ever known!

Yeah, the deep sea Anglerfish has no reason to be happy,
But she has no frikkin idea what else to be!
The deep see dwelling Anglerfish never has to find a mate,
They are always there together when it’s time to procreate!
See one dark night a young male bites a female on her side,
And then slowly he becomes a sperm-producing parasite!

And if we could say he lives at all he lives until she dies
And until that day he literally never leaves her siiiiide!

Ohhh, you can’t hate the night,
If you’ve lived your whole life without light!
And you can’t hate the dish,
If you’ve only ever eaten fish!
And you can’t feel alone if it’s all you’ve ever known!

Yeah, the deep sea Anglerfish has not reason to be happy,
But she has no frikkin idea what else to be!
For years this rule has kept me out of hopeless despaired,
You simply do not feel what is always there!
I ask my brain to entertain that pain is the same,
That if I feel it all the time can you really call it pain?

Yeah, I don’t have any friends,
And I don’t have any hair,
But neither does the Anglerfish
And she doesn’t caaaaare!

Oh you can’t hate the night,
If you’ve lived your whole life without light!
And you can’t hate the dish,
If you’ve only ever eaten fish!
And you can’t feel alone if it’s all you’ve ever known!
The deep sea Anglerfish has not reason to be happy,
But she has not frikkin idea what else to be! (Crowd cheers)