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In which a stressed-out John answers some questions. (Sorry for all the Tour Talk for those of you who don't live in the US. There will, however, be ways to share in the awesome, I promise.)


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A Bunny
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Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday, September 23rd, which means that "Paper Towns" comes out in 22 days. Oh my God.


Ho boy, Hank, I am seriously stressing. The only way to get the puff under control, frankly, was to get a haircut. And even that can't keep it fully under control. The puff is like a wild heart, Hank. It cannot be broken.

But just because I'm stressed out, doesn't mean that it's not Tuesday. Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters!

"When does 'Paper Towns' come out?"

October 16th, have I not said that enough? Oh my God, I haven't said that enough. October 16th, October 16th, October 16th, October 16th. And you say Hank talks faster than I do.

"Why aren't you coming to Dallas, Washington D.C., Tuscon Arizona, Tempe New Mexico?"

Okay, first off, Tempe is not in New Mexico. If you want us to come to your hometown, you need to tell us the correct state it's in.

Second off, over the course of the next 5-6 weeks I promise you that I am going to every place I possibly can. But nerdfighters, sometimes you've gotta meet us halfway. Don't ask, "Why aren't you coming to Washington, D.C.?," ask "What can I do to get to Charlottesville, Virginia?" Don't ask, "Why aren't you going to Tempe, New Mexico?" Ask yourself, "Do I live in Tempe or do I live in New Mexico?" And then, based on the information you've acquired, find out the nearest spot on the tour and come to it.

Also, bring your friends. Unless you're too much of a nerdfighter to have friends in real life, in which case, bring your bullies.

"Are you gonna be doing any events before your tour starts?"

Yes, and thank you for asking.

This Friday and Saturday I'm going to be in the Twin Cities of Minnesota and then on October 1st I'm going to be doing a public event in Berlin. And not like Berlin, New Mexico but like Berlin, Germany. Details in the sidebar.

Also there are several new events in the Tour de Nerdfighting. You can find out all the details as they come in at, but I will tell you the names of the cities that we are definitely going to and this is it:

New York, Boston, Indianapolis, Columbus, Atlanta, Orlando, Miami, Naperville, Chicago, Phoenix, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Plano, Oklahoma City, Saint Louis, Indianapolis, Louisville, Knoxville, Gaston, Newport, New Charlottesville, Lancaster, Westport, Pittsburgh, Ann Arbor, Racine, Ames, Kansas City, and the Twin Cities.

So Hank, that's how fast I can talk. I know Frezned can talk faster but can you?

"Are these events free and open to the public?"

Yes, entirely.

"Do we need tickets?"

No, except in a couple of instances. You should RSVP to the event in Boston. Phone number in the sidebar.

By the way, Julia Nunes will not be at the event in New York, but she will be at the event in Boston.

Hank, I've decided that the official tagline for that show is "Oh yes, there will be Nunes."

"Do you know the girl on the cover of 'Paper Towns?'"

No, not personally, but I did help pick her out. Her name is Dana, she's Canadian, and she's awesome.

"Have you picked a punishment yet?"

Hank, we don't get to pick punishments. Nerdfighters do.

It seems like the two most popular options for punishments are 1. do Brotherhood 2.0-style vlogging for one month (yikes) or 2. dress up like a Peep for Halloween and hand out Peeps on the street. Nerdfighters, you can vote for your favorite punishments in comments.

"If I order the book online, which color will I get?"

You will get random color, which is arguably the best color of all, because the basic idea of the cover design is that each cover represents a misimagining of the person involved. And since both covers are fundamentally wrong, neither can be superior.

"I can't come to your show because I'll be in school and/or it's a school night."

Now those aren't technically questions but I'm still happy to answer them. I didn't schedule any of the events for during school because then no one would have come. And I know that many of the events are on a school night, but I'm sure that you'll be able to tell your parents that since it's, you know, book-related, you should totally be allowed to come. And if you can't convince them, just have them e-mail me, and I'll convince them.

"Will we finally get to see the Yeti?"

Yes, the Yeti will be at many of the events. Unless, of course, I've been making her up all this time.

Hank, DFTBA. Nerdfighters, hope to see a lot of you in Minneapolis on Friday and Saturday and some of you in Berlin on October 1st and John, uh, don't stress out so much everything's gonna be fine. Also, stop talking to yourself, it's weird.

Oh P.S., from Blue John, nerdfighters who are attending events in Minneapolis, there will be a pretty amazing surprise there.