Charlie: Good Morning.

Jimmy: I'm Jimmy.

C: I'm Charlie.

J: And today on the show, Would I Date That Dog?

C: Also known as the idea that we've regretted the most so far for doing. It's Cereal Time.

(Intro)

C: Hello, hello. Welcome back to Cereal Time. We're here every single weekday morning. We are the video equivalent of your partner kissing you lightly on the forehead to wake you up with a smile. That's what we do.

J: Ooh. (Kisses air) I like that. We're here every single weekday, of course. If you want to get in touch with us on the show then, send us an email if you want, we're hello@cerealtimeshow.com. A few people in the comments, I've seen, have been saying that when we say "It's Cereal Time", our thing, it sets off Siri, apparently, on iPhones so really sorry...

C: Do you want to try right now?

J: Yeah, shall we try it now? Okay.

Both: It's Cereal Time!

J: Call Mum. (Charlie laughs) Has that done anything? I'm sorry if it has.

C: So today is ugliest dog day, right? The theme is holidays. The general theme is holidays. It's ugliest dog day, and we don't like that holiday, honestly. It seems a bit mean so we're gonna try and spread a bit of love to the ugly dogs in the world by playing a little game called...

Both: (Singing) Would I Date That Dog?

C: (Singing) If I was a dog.

J: We on Cereal Time, we believe that beauty is not skin de... beauty is skin deep. Beauty isn't skin deep.

C: Beauty is in... on the inside.

J: Beauty is on the inside and it's personality that counts. I don't like that these people are calling dogs ugly. Don't you be calling my dogs ugly. (Charlie laugh) So we're gonna... don't know what that was. We're gonna have a look through and show that it's the personality that matters.

C: And hidden in here somewhere is a photo of the world's ugliest dog, the winner of the World's Ugliest Dog competition. And so we're gonna have one chance to guess if we see a dog and we're like "that's the one", we'll guess, and it we get it wrong we have to come in dressed as dogs.

J: So you remember how on this Monday, I had to come in dressed as Johnny Bagpipes? That's happening again on Monday. I really hope I don't lose again.

C: At least dogs will be cuter.

J: Yeah. Do you have to dress as an ugly dog?

C: Probably.

J: Yeah.

C: We'll see where that goes.

J: So we're looking for the winner of the Ugliest Dog Competition 2014. Yes, that is a real contest.

C: Shall we have a look at this one then?

(First dog)

J: I mean that's a scared dog. That's not an ugly dog, that's a scared dog.

C: I don't know what that hand is doing to it. Just giving it a bit of a rub? Maybe it has intimacy issues.

J: Yeah may... (laughs) maybe. I don't think that's an ugly dog particularly. It's got, it's been combed. It's been groomed.

C: Yeah, I would date that dog if I was a dog.

J: I'd date that dog if I was a dog.

C: Because I believe if I have a gentle touch and I could help it get through its intimacy issues.

J: It's getting weird already. (Both laugh) It's getting so weird. It's so weird! Move onto the next one.

(Second dog)

C: Oh.

J: Oh, woah! What's going on there?

C: Yeah. That's, that's a face and a half, isn't it?

J: I think it's maybe one of those wrinkly dogs, that's just been upturned. I mean that's kinda what I look like what I lie on my back like that.

C: Oh really?

J: Yeah.

C: Well I don't know if I would want to date you in that case.

J: No?

C: No, I am gonna say that I would not be interested in dating this dog.

J: I would date that dog, if I was a dog.

(Third dog)

C: Oh.

J: Oh come on, that's cute.

C: That's lovely.

J: Aw!

C: Oh, he's just trying to get out of that cage.

J: Hello!

C: Oh poor little guy. I mean, it does look like he has a very large nose, but that's just, that's just the photo, you know. That's not...

J: Bless him.

C: That's not the way he is day to day, I'm sure.

J: Or her. It might be a girl, we don't know.

C: Exactly, it doesn't matter. I would...

J: It looks so soft, that dog, doesn't it? I just wanna cuddle it.

C: He does look a bit sad. Right, I don't know if I would want to date him but I would definitely want to free him.

J: Yeah?

C: You know? In which case maybe I would date that dog if I was a dog, you know.

J: Just so that you could free it?

C: Yeah, exactly.

J: Let it loose.

C: Just so I could get him out and about. So yeah, I'd go for... (Jimmy laughs) Sure I would. This is such a weird... What the hell are we doing?

(Fourth dog)

J: Do you know what? I'm already going to say I'd date this dog, 'cause that dog clearly likes its food. I love my food, I think we'd get on great.

C: Do you think it would be a good chef?

J: I don't know if the dog would do the cooking, Charlie.

C: No?

J: Yeah I...

C: But if you were a dog?

J: I don't know if dogs are known for their culinary talents.

C: I don't know, in my head we're all, like, anthropomorphic dogs. I don't want to go down, any further down that route. (Jimmy laughs) I don't know if I would date this dog. Probably not, just cause, I don't know, he seems happy by himself right there, lying in the sun.

J: OK.

C: I don't feel like I wanna change his life.

(Fifth dog)

C: Ooh.

J: Oh.

C: Okay, so I, right away, am gonna say that I think that this is the world's ugliest dog, the winner. That's my, that's my guess. Because they've done stuff to this dog that makes it look like they're trying to amp up, like, the horror.

J: I don't think it's that ugly though.

C: Yeah? Well, that's what, that's... I've committed to that now so that's where I'm going.

J: They've put pearls on it.

C: Yeah, exactly. So they're trying to... I don't know.

J: They've sort of brushed out the hair. I see what you mean, they've tried to make it look a little bit crazy.

C: Yeah.

J: I think that could be a good shout. I mean, you've guessed it, so I'm not gonna guess it.

C: Okay.

(Sixth dog)

C: Oh wow. Yeah, that's pretty horrific.

J: That guy.

C: Yeah, oh.

J: That is the winner of the World's Ugliest Dog Competition 2014.

C: (Laughs) Instantly, instant regret on my side.

J: It has to be.

C: But yeah, that would be a pretty good contestant.

J: Oh bless it. I think it's adorable in a way.

C: Would you date it?

J: No.

C: Mmm, me neither.

(Seventh dog)

J: (Laughs)

C: Hiya.

J: He's going like that.

C: What's going on, mate? He looks a little bit like a pig to me. Maybe, I'm sort of convinced this is a pig, actually, in a way.

J: You think it's a pig pretending to be a dog?

C: Maybe.

J: Could be. Could well be.

C: A pig pretending to be a dog pretending to be a human, that's my guess. (Both laugh)

J: That's a lot, that's quite meta.

C: Would you date it?

J: Um...

C: Why do we have to add that on?

J: I'm decided I'm not going to answer this question anymore. I'd maybe take it for a walk and then would see how it goes. I'm not going to rush into anything.

C: So now we're going to turn to Josh, our producer, Josh. Did one of us guess which was the ugliest dog?

Josh: Certainly did. The answer's on the next button.

C: Oh, here we go. Oh, it was Jimmy.

J: Yeah!

C: Oh no.

J: Winner!

C: Oh! So that means that I have to do Monday's episode dressed as a dog.

J: Yeah, an ugly dog, please.

C: An ugly dog? Really?

J: Yeah.

C: I can't be a cute dog?

J: I'm seeing ears, I'm seeing face paint, I'm seeing a collar. It's gonna be great.

C: OK, if you insist.

C: It's Friday which means it's time for another Cereal University. Jimmy and I both have facts and if the fact is new to the other person then we get a point. And the more points we get the closer we get to the Cereal Time degree.

Both: Ooh.

C: Do you have a fact today, Jimmy?

J: I do. I've got a really good fact. I'm confident that you're not going to know this.

C: I'm usually pretty confident that I won't know it.

J: I've got my eyes on the prize, Cereal Time degree.

C: Jimmy's facts are always, like, history based and I don't really know...

J: Well I'm sticking with history this week, I might change it up next week, we'll see. OK. So, you know how in the 18th century...

C: No.

J: From oil paintings and stuff, royalty and aristocracy, particularly in France but sometimes in England, wore tights, males wore tights with high heels. Do you know why this was?

C: I didn't even know that males wore tights with high heels, but go on.

J: You've seen, you must have seen the pictures, like oil paintings.

C: I didn't... I feel like I've seen, I feel like I've seen the pictures but I didn't know that they would be classified as, like, high heels.

J: We'll put an example on screen. Well, the reason they wore tights and high heels is because in that time period big calves were seen as the ultimate sign of masculinity and what better way to show off your big calves than by wearing tights and high heels.

C: That's so interesting.

J: Yeah. That's my fact.

C: I'm always interested by the way that those kind of, like, beauty standards change from, like, era to era, you know? Just, you know, women obviously wear high heels now and that's, like, seen as, like, a sexy thing.

J: Yeah.

C: And it was different back then, it was for men instead, so...

J: Absolutely.

C: That's really interesting and I did not know it. So here is my fact.

J: Point for me. OK.

C: You ready, Jimmy?

J: Yeah, I'm excited.

C: It's another sciencey one for you, I'll see how best I can explain it. So you know how caterpillars-

J: Yeah.

C: -turn into butterflies.

J: Yeah.

C: What do you think happens in that middle stage when it's in the cocoon?

J: Um. I mean, I just always thought that it kind of grew wings and, like, got skinnier. I don't know, I've never thought about it really.

C: Yeah, well this is a really interesting thing, actually, is when the caterpillar is in the cocoon it essentially dissolves.

J: What!?

C: It dissol... Like if you are to find a cocoon and you would open it up what you'd find is basically like a white paste.

J: Ugh. Caterpillar goo.

C: The caterpillar just basically almost destroys itself and then reforms into a completely new being. This is kind of where the idea of, like, reincarnation, rebirth comes from.

J: Wow.

C: They'd see a, they'd see a caterpillar turning into a butterfly and be like "That is not anything" so they'd imagine that the caterpillar had died and then been reborn as a butterfly.

J: So has it got the same brain and stuff? Do caterpillars have brains?

C: This is something other, extra fact, also really interesting. Experiments have been done to kind of like take caterpillars and give them, like, a really horrible smell and then waited for them to turn into butterflies and then they'd see the butterflies and their butterflies would also really hate that smell.

J: Oh wow.

C: So memories do carry through the transition, but if you look at it it looks like the caterpillar has just been kind of destroyed.

J: That's amazing. I didn't know that, obviously. Point to you.

C: Yeah, points all round.

J: But also a great, great fact. Let us know in the comments if you've got any good facts. I'd really love to hear them 'cause I love learning new stuff like that. That's so interesting and I'll definitely pass it on as well. So there we are, that was Cereal Time University.

C: Still neck and neck.

J: There we go. Thanks so much for watching this week guys, really appreciate it. Give us a like if you like the video and please subscribe as well.

C: And also next week we think we are gonna try and do June Christmas?

J: Oh, June Christmas is happening, Charlie. That is happening.

C: We don't entirely still know what June Christmas is, so please do leave us a comment. What could we do in June Christmas 'cause apparently that's next week.

J: I'm gonna get a turkey but I don't know where to get a turkey from in June. I'm gonna have to do some research over the weekend. We'll leave you though with Twitter Thought of the Day, quote of the day. Today's is from Corinne, she says: "If the cat meows, rain will be in the forecast".

C: I guess that's technically correct, right?

J: No it's not.

C: Cats meow all the time.

J: Oh.

C: It rains all of the time, so... But I don't know if that correlation really exists.

J: I'm not sure about that one.

C: Not super inspirational but thank you for it all the same.

J: Thanks very much Corinne. Have a great weekend guys. We'll see you on Monday.

C: See you on Monday.