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This episode of Sexplanations is sponsored by, a toy store for your sex life.

I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and host of this sex-curious show, Sexplanations. Sex, sex, sex, sex! 

[Sexplanations intro]

A few months back, someone commented on a video, something like, "When is she going to address how bad vibrators are for you?" Hmm. (nods)
This is such a good question! For years now, Sexplanations has been sponsored by, which sells hundreds of vibrators!
I show them off, how they thrust and rattle and buzz! Let's talk about how they can be harmful. 

One: first of all, the material, which applies to all sex toys, not vibrators.
They can say "body safe", "phthalate free", "100% silicone", but there isn't a universal governing system for sex toys. Manufacturers can slap a "for novelty use only" sticker on them and not be held accountable if you put that dick-shaped thing in or near your delicate mucous membrane. You could say this is bad. Toxic leeching chemical burns are not words I want to introduce to my vulva.

But it doesn't mean that vibrators are bad. What they're made of and the effects of those substances are easy to mitigate. Do your research. If the material is not guaranteed to be body-friendly, verified by trusted consumers like Dangerous Lilly, Hey Epiphora and Lorax of Sex, cover it in a condom or use it on the outside of your clothing or bedding. 

The second vibrator danger is the actual vibrations. I made a whole episode of 50 ways to hold a vibrator without using your hands because my tiny hands don't like the buzzing and pulsing and electrifying repetitive shaking. Most of the time, my clit doesn't either. It's like electrocution, my clit being fried off, and then I can't feel anything!

The vibrator's intensity, that stimulation, is more than some people desire. So, another simple solution: don't turn the vibrator on! Many vibrators are shaped like dildos so that you can buy them, try out the vibrations, and then if it's not splendid, use it differently. This has multiple vibrators. I can turn one on, or both on, or just put it in and fuck things without micro machines stirring me up inside. 

(holding vibrator up, smiling, getting progressively higher in pitch) Hmm, hmm, hmm! 

Maybe I'll want the vibrations later, when my wrist is tired, or I'm arthritic, or your wrist is tired. Some people with spinal cord injuries actually need hefty vibrators to get off so that their boners don't last for hours. Do what works for you. 

What else is bad about vibrators? I think the big one people worry about is dependence on them: conditioning their bodies to only get off with a high-powered device.

This happens. Lots of people have talked to me about needing vibrators before, during, after partnered sex in order to come. They feel frustrated and use language like, "I'm addicted to it!" Then when they try to reprogram themselves by just using their hands or going without, they can't! Where's my vibrator?!

It's like food: if you eat mostly processed, preservative-heavy things, that's what your palate knows and what it wants. It may actually seem annoying to make a fresh salad and follow a recipe for homemade dressing, or eat organic vegetables that your partner cooks for you.

The reality is that we can condition ourselves to all kinds of specifications. I can only come with this motion, using this hand, in this position, or only with porn, or only fantasizing about feet, only taking it in the butt. It's okay!

You can also recondition yourself. You want to be different and have more versatility with your sexuality? Mix it up! Eat chips and cauliflower and blueberries and sopapillas! Masturbate sitting down and jumping up and down, with your right hand, with your left hand, on your head, with your legs squeezed together! Practice. That said, if the vibrator is your method, the one and only, embrace that! No shame.

Bad, bad, bad, think bad about vibrators. What's bad about vibrators?!

Ah! Let's put unrealistic expectations on the list. This is not a penis. Or a hand. Or a mouth. It's multiple mechanical engines. Expecting yourself or someone else to perform hundreds of gyrations per minute is going to lead to disappointment. 


One more criticism of vibrators: they make it easy. Vibrators were invented to give doctors a break from all the pussy-rubbing that they did to treat women who were hysterical, sexually dissatisfied. They deserved a break. They had multiple patients a day, all week. Us? Do we need this? There's value in working the body into a frenzy over time and giving it the opportunity to go through the physiological changes of vasocongestion and tenting, oxytocin release, stronger breathing, and heart rate. That plateau, when you feel fully turned on and time is just passing, you're just waiting for climax, that's important. This is important.

Here's another analogy. Sometimes you need to paddle the canoe down the beautiful winding river, reading the water, watching the eagles catch fish, working your muscles with each paddle stroke and getting into your body! Rather than attaching a motor to the back of said canoe and zooming through the rapids to your takeout. I'm not saying one or the other, but I do want you to have carefully curated body-shaking orgasms. I want you to be the vibrator!

Your body is powerful. Learn how to turn it on and turn up the dial. Then mix up vibrators. Stay curious. 

Vibrators are great if you've never had an orgasm before and you wanna just get it out, prove that you can. They're also not bad if you're on a schedule, feeling lazy, or hell, you're alone for an extended time period and want to see what kind of orgasmic potential your body has with all sorts of toy combinations! Yes, be careful with what you use and your intentions. The bad is not universal.

If you want to get a toy, one that vibrates or one that doesn't, has an enormous selection, including lingerie, condoms, lube, candles. When you use the promo code DOE at checkout, they'll give you an eligible item for 50% off and free shipping on your whole order to the US and Canada. Oh my gosh, this is so cool! I know you're all over the world, maybe feeling a little down, bored, horny. Coming is a mood-boosting, fun tension reliever, and toys add some variety.

(pretending to shoot with vibrator) Pow!

Electrifying redipiti-redi- (laughs)

At work, we say pussy-rubbing!