Will you guys say good morning to my brother Hank real quickly? On three, just say, "Good morning Hank it's-" What is today?
Crowd: Sunday.
John: That works. Okay. One two three!
Crowd: Good morning, Hank! It's Sunday!

John: Good morning, Hank! It's Australia!

Oh god, Hank, I am so tired but I am going to make this video anyway because I cannot afford to get punished again. So right, back to Australia. In Melbourne, I was in the amazing Reading Matters conference. And these outlandishly good actors performed a series of scenes from Paper Towns.

(clip of the scene)
Actor playing Q: So, May the fifth could have been like any other day, until just before midnight, when Margo Roth Spiegleman knocked on my window for the first time in nine years. (Margo knocks) Oh shit!
(John laughs from behind the camera) God, spare me please!

John: Then we went to Sydney.
Here we are in beautiful Sydney, Australia. A city named after our mother, where they really like Harry Potter. It's a Yeti Foot! I don't know what Australians calls this, but Sarah and I call it The Treethredral. (Yeti laughs from behind the camera) That's uh, that's why we brought the umbrella today. So that I could, y'know, do a little umbrella dance.

It's hard to tell if these guys hate each other, or they really really like each other.
Infinite me.
Hey Hank, guess what job I wouldn't do for a million dollar an hour. That one.
So this warship here at the National Maritime Museum seems to be called the HMAS Vampire. I'm telling you Hank, do not mess with Australia's navy, they will drink your blood!
And we went to the aquarium where we saw duck billed platypuses which reminded me that evolution can do extraordinary things. Speaking of which; Hey evolution, where is my puppy sized elephant? More on that in a moment.
I was about to see a dugong. I don't see why that guy is so fat when all he eats is lettuce. Maybe it's because he also has a brother who comes up with crazily fatty punishments.
He's like, "When does the door open? I know when the door opens I get food."

I notice that many of you are filtering this event through, uh, the medium of video. Uh, that's great! That means that like later you can go home and actually enjoy what happened. (crowd laughs) Uh, then you're gonna like, you can't enjoy it now but you'll replay it later and you'll be like, "Oh that was nice."
And I got to meet hundreds of Nerdfighters including Natalie aka communitychannel. Oh man, Hank, I was so excited to meet communitychannel. Plus I got to meet frezned!
Uh, look who's here. It's Tom!
Tom (frezned): Hey! How's it going?
John: Why doesn't he make videos anymore?
Tom: I made video games now.
John: I want you to make videos!
Tom: Okay I'll-
John: Make me some videos!!
Tom: (fake cries) There's no door here!

John: And I finally got to meet our Secret Australian family The Kittos!
Natalie: Hello!
John: So at the Melbourne Nerdfighter gathering, Debbie warmed up the crowd with a Happy Dance song.
(clip of Debbie singing the Happy Dance song)
And then Natalie and Calvin sang about puppy sized elephants. Hank, I hope that you have recently had your cute vaccine because otherwise, this might kill you.
(Natalie and Calvin sing the Puppy Sized Elephant song)

John: Nerdfighters in Australia, thanks for making my Visit Down Under so awesome! Nerdfighters, you can still vote on my punishment but it looks like the sandwich is winning at the moment so Hank it seems likely that you'll see me eating a fat sandwich on Tuesday.