(Hank turns mic on)
Hank: Oh, that's good, green light! 
John: Good call Dad!
Hank: That's better. 
John: Good call Dad. That worked. 
Hank: That would've been really embarrassing!
John: That would've sucked. (makes a fwoof sound)
Hank: It's gonna be echoey video. 
John: Well, just-
Hank: Cause we're in a big room. 
John: Don't, don't, project like that and speak directly into the camera's mic. 
Hank: Well thanks for the...tip. 
John: That's what I'm here for. 
Hank: Hey John.
John: Yes.
Hank: Hey John
John: Yes
(0:28)
Hank: Evelyn would like to know how do you find a newr-NEWWRRRD(nerd) Hey John, Evelyn--f**k me. 
John: Jesus Christ, you're terrible at this, you shouldn't do this for a living Hank, you should find another kind of work. 
John: Have you ever thought of hosting a conference? 
*Hank does a whole beaty clap thing*
(0:49) 
John: Ummmm, oh yeah, sugar-cubes. 
Hank:SUCARCUBES!
John: Sugarcubes, I don't know if that's their real name, uh, asked, how many posters did John sign?
Hank: We don't know, we haven't counted yet. 
John: Hank, how after so long have you guys not gotten tired of each other?
Hank: Oh, I'm so tired of you. 
John: My question is, how, after all this time have YOU guys not gotten tired of us. 
(1:06)
John: YOU! THIS IS WONDERFUL THANK YOU! 
Hank: That's very sweet. 
John: I was looking into the mic like it was the- 
Hank: Like glance, the whole time-
John: So that- 
Hank: YOU MICROPHONE!(John: You) WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
John:Thank you for hanging around microphone, I don't know what I'd do without you. 
Hank: If you don't have a Nerdfighter club at your University, you should start one. 
John: You can start one. 
Hank: Because, then you'd be like the starter. 
John: You'd be the founder. 
Hank: Everyone would say, that person's a starter. 
John: If it weren't for that person there might not even be a Nerdfighter club at the University of Wisconsin at Poughkeepsie.
(1:36)
Hank: Is that a school?
John: Oh yes, you've never been to Poughkeepsie, Wisconsin? We did a show there back in 2008!
Hank: Oh, that was Racine!
John: Oh, the Poughkeepsie of Wisconsin that's what they call it. 
Hank: John, what's the biggest lie you've ever told your parents?
John: So, this is very weird but one time when I was in like 8th grade Mom asked me if I had done pot at summer camp, and I hadn't, but I told her that I had.   
Hank: Yeah...that's...kids are weird. 
John: She was very upset and she was like, well what was it like, and I was like I-I, (wooft) and then I had to keep spinning the lie, like the lie got worse and I was so scared and I just wanted to be like, I haven't actually, I haven't done pot (Hank:I haven't)but I-I
Hank: I just wanted to seem cool Mom! 
John:Yeah Mom, I just wanted you to think I was cool. 
(2:16)
Hank:(with accent): This wood, is fake, to the bed! 
John: Jerry Seinfeld's father?
Hank: This wood, is fake! 
John: Woody Al-*the sound of sirens is in the background* (Hank: The cops are here) Yeah they actually, Hank is, Hank is literally gonna get arrested for that impression.
Hank: This wood, is fake.
John: Who is it doing an impression of Marlon Brando doing the godfather? Let me know in comments. 
Hank: And probably none of that, that's all for the outtakes video.
John: REALLY?!
Hank: I don't know
John: That was good. 
Hank: We'll see, we'll see. 
John: That was pretty good stuff. (Hank: We'll have to see.)
(2:46)
Hank: I basically, am the governor of Montana now. 
John: Is that how it works? 
Hank: Uh-Huh
John: You're t-you're the governor of Montana Twitter.
Hank: No, Montana. 
John: The whole state?
Hank:Yeah, he-he emailed me, the governor, and was like, I'm proud to p-, like pronounce you and give you this certificate, declaring you government, governor of Monta-s**t.
John: Government of Monta(Hank: f**k)na
John: Naturally, he is the whole government now. 
Hank: I've decided (John:oh) that that's what it means.
John: Uhmmmm
Hank: It's a lot of responsibility. 
(3:12)
John: Hank, Elaine has a really important question: What should I name my cactus? 
Hank: Katherine is just j**king off the air. 
Katherine: *laughs* 
John: What does that mean Katherine? Huh?
Hank: Spanky?
Katherine: *whispers* Spike
Hank: Spike! Stab. 
John: Stab? Eat? You want to kill me?
Hank: Pen!? Sharpie.
John: Why do you want to kill me?
Hank: *laughs* Sharpie! 
John: What did you-what did you want to name it or were you just mad?
Katherine: *whispers mock irritatingly* Mr. Pointy!
Hank: Mr. Pointy. (John: Mr. Pointy!) Oh, that's the name of Buffy's stake! *turns to camera* Mr. Pointy!
John:Yep, you should name your cactus Mr. Pointy. 
Hank: Just like Buffy but you n-
John: No, it was the name of Buffy's stake!
Hank: Right-
John: Buffy was named Buffy  
Hank: Got-good call, if you ever kill a vampire with your cactus, that's because of me
(3:48)
John: *sings harmoniously* YEEEEEEES YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SIGN POSTERS YES. 
*Hank claps* 
John: Did I hit all of the notes? 
Hank: That was beautiful. 
John: I tried to get to all of them. 
(4:03)
Hank: Valerie wants to know, what is it like when Hank Green pees? Is it like other people's pee?
*John grimaces*
John: Oh God
Hank: That's Valerie2776. They've been asking me that question every Question Tuesday for about six years. 
*John bends over laughing*
Hank: John.
John: Yes
Hank: Thank you for doing Question Tuesday with you and I'll see you..*sighs* it's so weird to say this
John: I feel like there should've been a me in that sentence, thank you for doing Question Tuesday with you. It's always a pleasure to do Question Tuesday with myself. 
Hank: Did I really say that? 
John: Yeah! 
Hank: Aw that's weird. 

                              THE END