John: Ready, One, Two, Three.
Crowd: Hi Hank!
John: That was good, good stuff.

John: Today’s video comes to you in two parts, although the first part has like three sub parts so the structure is gonna actually be pretty compl--

("Intro" cuts him off.)

John (cutting off "Intro"): Unh uhh, video intro. You do not get to cut me off just because I’m being boring, let me finis--

("Intro" cuts him off again.)

John: Uhh alright fine, part one 8/8/08, and by the way if you are wondering why I am not talking about the gravitational miracle that is my hair today, its because when I talk about it, it gets puffier.

On August 8th, 2008, at 2pm, I’m going to be at the Harold Washington Library in Down town Chicago at 2 pm. I’m gonna be talking, and signing books and giving stuff away, and because this coincides with the Harry Potter conference terminus, many special guests will be in attendance, like secret brother Adam, and secret sister Rosyanna, and 80% of the five awesome girls, and 20% of the five awesome guys, and one very special surprise guest who just called me to tell me he was gonna be there.

Maybe my hair is being like this because it is scared of all the awesome.

Then at four pm when I finish we are all gonna head over to Grant Park to listen to wizard rockers Leanne and Lina and possibly a very special guest play music. Then at 8:08pm on 8/8/08 I, and hopefully many other nerdfighters, will be joining Amy Krause Rosenthal in millennium park at the Bean, which by the way is the best public sculpture in American history.

That’s right I said it. Sorry Washington Monument, but you got pwnd by a beautiful silver bean.

So anyway at 8:08pm Amy Krause Rosenthal is going to do something awesome with all of us at The Bean.

Part Two, Audio Books. So Hank, this is me recording the dedication and the authors note and the acknowledgement in Paper Towns. In fact I’m going to be reading your name, and also I’m going to be saying the word nerdfighters.

So I went to Grandhaven to see the Paper Towns audio book recording, but then I also got to get like a whole tour of the process of making an audio book, which is amazing. Like I got to watch this guy as he turned extremely complicated dials, and I got to watch this guy as he edited down all the weird breaths and burps and stuff. And Then I go to go into the actual plant were the make the actual like physical goods. By the way Hank, look at that, remember that? I bet that there is someone watching this video, some young nerdfighter who literally does not know what that is. They're like, is it some kind of early zip drive? Sort of.

But by far the coolest thing of the trip was being able to listen to Dan John Miller, the narrator of my audio book as he actually recorded it.

Dan John Miller: Stand still, while mortals walk past and then we were too far past her, to many people walking between her and me.

John: Hank, I don't know if you know Dan John Miller, but he’s in the band Blanche which is one of my favorite bands in the entire world. He was also Luther Perkins in the movie Walk the Line. In fact Hank he'd like to say hello.

Dan John Miller: Hey Hank, How are ya sir?

John: Hank I can not tell you how awesome I think Dan John Miller is, but when I first saw him in the studio at brilliance, I did think, I’m gonna kill that guy and take his suit.

All right Hank I’m gonna stop now so we can listen to Dan play one of my favorite songs for a little while. I'll see you in Chicago.

Dan John Miller: (singing)
If we can't trust the doctors,
And our prayers have fallen flat,
And the fourteen pills she takes each day
Won't hold the sickness back.

Another room to wait in,
Another test to see.
If everything we've dreamed about
Will never come to be,
Will never come to be.

John: Hank guess who came to visit me in Spring Lake?
Tameron Tobian: Tameron Tobian!

John: Hank, it’s a Tobian!! How could you have thought that lovely women is evil!?!