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Watch the full live show from VidCon 2011.

John: Hi internet! Welcome to VidCon 2011!
Hank: You guys are very good at being loud!
John: Yeah, it's been this way for two and a half days, but tragically you haven't been able to join us. But now you can! Alright!
Hank: John?
John: Ah. So much noise!
Hank: That was a lot, yeah, it was like phy- it was like a physical wall.
John: Ah, awesome!
Hank: That is how they make tractor beams in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Crowds like that.
John: Woo! So for the last two days here at VidCon we have been having a great time, talking about online video, hanging out with each other, making friends, feeling the love and the awesome of this extraordinary YouTube community.
Hank: Online video is pretty freaking amazing. It's taken uh, entertainment to places that entertainment has never gotten to go before. Because you can do whatever you want. You can even do stuff that no one will want to watch. And then sometimes people will watch it anyway!
John: You can't hug every cat.
Hank: You can't hug every cat!
John: But it is amazing what you can do with online video. You can be anything in this medium, and we've seen that this weekend.
Hank: We've seen astronauts. We've seen chefs. We've seen musicians, amazing musicians that like would never have found an outlet for their craft if it were not for online video.
John: Yeah. We've seen Yosemite Bear himself.
Hank: Yes. The most famous discoverer of a double rainbow of all time.
John: It's been a magical weekend, and now for the next hour and a half we get to share that magic with the internet. We wish that you were here with us IRL right now, but you're not, so-
Hank: So we decided to do it without you. It would be better if you guys were here, but it's still pretty good without you.
John: So. So, in front of twenty-five hundred made-of-awesome people that are in this room and countless more that are watching at home, we're gonna have an amazing show for you coming up right now. And it's about to start.
Hank: One of the many things that you can do on YouTube, and people will watch it..
John: Juggleeeee. Rootberry ladies and gentlemen!
Hank: Rootberryyyyyyyyyy.


Jonathan: Hello!
Bill: Wait, how many of you are there? We said hello!
Jonathan: Yeah, well hello everyone, my name is Johnathan Root, this is Mr. Bill Berry; we are Rootberry on YouTube. We have a fun thing for you, right Bill? Bill.
Bill: I thought, they wanna see something unbelievable.
Jonathan: Okay.
Bill: Dangerous.
Jonathan: Alright.
Bill: Crazy. That's right, hold onto that Jonathan. Grab your pogo-ball.
Jonathan: Okay.
Bill: Can't stop hopping!
Jonathan: Alright, I'll start hopping.
Bill: Let's kick it off. Yeah. Hold it out Jonathan.
Jonathan: Hold on.
Bill: Hold it out.
Jonathan: Wait wait wait wait, I can't watch this.
Bill: Me neither. No, it's okay!
Jonathan: Not cool, not cool man.
Bill: Don't worry, don't worry, I'll be in no danger.
Jonathan: C'mon man.
Bill: I get three tries too!
Jonathan: Still - C'mon, one try.
Bill: Alright here we go.
Jonathan: Oh, easy.
Bill: Boy that wa- it's OK I can hear him bouncing so it should be right- yeah perfect, perfect. So it should be right about-
Jonathan: Owww!
Bill: Look how close that was. One more time. Bounce!
Jonathan: Not cool man.
Bill: Bounce, man! I get once more try! 
Jonathan: No, I'm -
Bill: Oh you wanna do it a diff-
Jonathan: No, I'm not doing it.
Bill:  We'll do it a different way. Here, how about this. I mean we should've taken a poll, because as cool as this is, I'm sure most of you would prefer to see it like this. Yes! Hahaha!
Jonathan: I have a masters degree and this is what I do for a living.
Bill: Now before we go any further, I would just like to point out for any children watching, this is why your parents always said "Don't swallow your bubblegum". Alright Jonathan, hold it out. This is gonna be awesome. If anything goes bad, remember the golden rule!
Jonathan: What's that?
Bill: Turn the other cheek.
Jonathan: C'mon.
Bill: Here we go, with the blindfold.
Jonathan: Ooohh, oohoho, owwww. Bad touch!
Bill: Well hold it tight or something! Here we go
Jonathan: Hold on, wait wait wait wait. What's that thing made of?
Bill: Where are you going? No, no, bad, bad.
Jonathan: I have an idea.
Bill: No, stop! I get at least one more.. No stop. Don't, don't. Give me one more try.
Jonathan: You've got this, one more try.
Bill: One more try.
Jonathan: Nope, you didn't get it.
Bill: Hold on, one more try, one more try.
Jonathan: I need a break.
Bill: Alright, while you take a break, how many of you remember when we did a little sword swallowing last year? Yeah? Alright, alright. I need someone to examine the sword to prove that it's real. A volunteer, someone brave, someone strong. You wanna check it out? I'm not a magician, I'm not here to trick you, just wanna show you something cool. Let me show- BAA!! See that, real sword, no buttons, no switches, no levers, no way for the blade to collapse, retract, or fold back into the handle. Is that a real sword?
Volunteer: Yes.
Bill: Yes it is! Thank you very much. Give it up for her, high-five! Alright. Here we go.
Jonathan: Now, since there are some kids in the room, please do not try sword swallowing at home, it is very very dangerous. and Bill is a- check this out - a "trained professional".
Bill: Alright, here goes nothing.
Jonathan: For this one particular stunt, if we could have absolute silence, it would be greatly appreciated. Just relax. I totally understand.
Bill: Yeah.
Jonathan: Go to the happy place.
Bill: Shut up!
Jonathan: I'm sorry man. Whenever you're ready.
Bill: I was ready! They were ready too. Here we, okay here we go. Don't make me laugh, 'cause this'll come out my nose.
Jonathan: With no further delay, letting the sword slide down his throat.. Give it up for the tall, the talented, Mr. Bill Berry. Wait a second. You ma'am, come here. Stand up, hurry, quickly, he can't do this forever! You're gonna grab onto the sword, you're gonna pull it straight out of his mouth. No twists, no turns. Give it up for our volunteer right there. Woah, she's got a knife, watch out. That was crazy.
Bill: That's true.
Jonathan: And that worked so well, I think we need one more..
Bill:.. Volunteer. Let's see if we can find somebody. Hi! Right this way! And jump!Good job. Alright, what I need you to do, is I need you to stand just like this. Perfect. Both hands out, right there, right like that, perfect. Now don't move at all. Now this is kinda new, but I think Jonathan's finally got this worked out. It's gonna be amazing. Alright. Oh, hold on. Wait, Jonathan, wait!
Jonathan: Don't move. I'm just kidding, okay? I actually have something a little safer. This is the Airzooka. Cup number one.. Woo. Cup number two.. Hehe.
Bill and Jonathan: And finally. Cup number three.
Bill: Focus, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Hold on.
Bill: Don't move, girl.
Jonathan: Op!
Bill: Op, Jonathan. Higher, a little higher up Jonathan.
Jonathan: Not those cups. So sorry, I am so easily distracted.
Bill: Jonathan! Focus! We're trying to do a show here, focus Jonathan.
Jonathan: Cup number three, not four and five. Give it up for our volunteer, she was fantastic!
Volunteer: That was really scary.
Bill: Good job, now just hop on my back, hop on! Oooh! Nobody's ever done it before.  Brum-brum-brum-bruh-bruh-bruh-...Good job, good job 
Jonathan: Give it up one more time for our volunteer, she was fantastic!
Jonathan: Okay, it's at this point in the show that we're gonna bring back last year. Last year, we endangered the life of iJustine. Woo! We're gonna do things a little bit differently this year. Instead of a girl, we're gonna bring a guy up. We're gonna bring a guy up. We're gonna bring up the biggest daily vlogger on YouTube. That's right.. No, no, not you. SonTard! Here, come on up here buddy. Here. Woah, look at that. He's got hops and everything. Alright.
Bill: Whoa.
Jonathan: Okay, woah man, I'm gonna have you stand right here. Bill's gonna show you what we're gonna be doing tonight.
Bill: That's right, that's right. We're just gonna take these juggling clubs, and we're going to throw them around you. some flying in front, some flying behind. It's going to be a m-
Jonathan: No, no,no, no, no. I think we need to do it with the machete knives. Alright, just, just don't move, okay? Alright. Oh cool Bill, you have machetes too! Why not try new stuff? Alright, okay.
Bill: Alright now just don't move. It's gonna be... 
Jonathan: Just relax, we're just gonna take them..
Someone in crowd: SonTard!
Jonathan: That's right, thanks for pointing it out. Okay thanks, alright just relax, we're just gonna go like this, we're gonna go-
Bill and Jonathan: whoosh whoosh!!
Jonathan:- in front of his face and behind his face. If, I said if, we pull this off, we will improve our record to seven and one. Pretty good odds, huh?
Bill: But wait a second, last year we passed around iJustine. I think we should up the ante and make it even more..
Jonathan: I think we should have two people. We need a girl! We need a girl to help us out.
Bill: Who do you have in mind Jonathan, who do you think?
Jonathan: I dunno, why don't you pick someone?
Bill: Oh wait wait, let's see. Hold on. How about.. Olga Kay! Right this way. Go ahead and stand right next to him Olga, this is gonna be awesome.
Jonathan: Alright, okay, you guys just stand really close to each other, don't move, okay. On the count of three Bill.
Bill: Well actually Jonathan, we're gonna have them play some classical music we can all relax.
Jonathan: Wait, wait a second. I don't think that's dangerous enough for these people.
Bill: Actually Jonathan? We've been passing machetes for a long time, you know we're very confident with this.
Jonathan: You know what, I think-
Bill: But I think-
Jonathan: I think somebody else should help us out.
Bill: If Olga had these.
Jonathan: Yeah, yeah.
Bill: If she takes those,
Jonathan: And I stand right here, like this.
Bill: And you're just gonna go right here, like this, perfect, just right there, and just don't move at all. Don't move buddy.
Jonathan: She's not very good at this.
Bill: And uh, are you ready Olga?
Jonathan: You guys, risking life and limb for your viewing pleasure. Olga Kay and Mr. Bill Berry of Rootberry.
Bill: Are you ready Olga? Here goes nothing.
Jonathan: Don't look over there, buddy. Don't look towards the danger. No pressure.
Bill: SonTard, SonTard.
Bill and Jonathan: SonTard, SonTard, SonTard, SonTard.
Bill: Hup. Give it up everybody!!!
Jonathan: Everybody give it up for SonTard and the lovely Olga Kay. Shay, you've got a log ways to go buddy 'til you're this good. Alright, give it up one more time for our volunteers. High-five buddy. You were awesome, alright, awesome.
Bill: You guys want one more? Alright, we saved one more.
Jonathan: Okay we have one more stunt for you, and then we gotta get out of here. Most of the stunts we do are dangerous and/or difficult for the person who does them. For instance, when Bill sword-swallows, it's very very dangerous. In this next one, I will be doing the juggling, and Bill will be the one in danger. Yeah. Let me show you what I'm talking about here. Not only am I gonna be standing on top of this board, rolling over Bill Berry's face, and Bill's berries.. I'm also gonna be juggling the three machete knives. In Spanish, this is "dos gringos, muy estupido. Here we go. Any last words there, Bill?
Bill: Yeah. Jenny Craig.
Jonathan: If I drop one of these, you guys just catch it and chuck it back, okay? Here we go. Woooo! Hup. Thank you very much! We are Rootberry. Have a beautiful night! Thank you!

John: Rootberry, everybody! Respects to Olga Kay and SonTard. And uh, and Shay for sharing his son with us. Alright, so we just learned that you can juggle on YouTube.
Hank: What else can you do on YouTube, John?
John: I dunno, maybe like uh, play the piano?
Hank: You can definitely play the piano on YouTube.
John: You can definitely play the piano on YouTube. Right now, let's here it for, The Piano Guys!

Paul: Hey, how's everybody doing? I'm Paul with The Piano Guys, and we are excited to be here. This is our.. We're kinda new to the YouTube world, but we just hope to spend the next few minutes to entertain ya, and hopefully have a lot of fun, and uh, if you like us, then maybe you can follow us on uh, I mean sorry that's Facebook. Subscribe! Subscribe, okay? And uh, anyway, we'll get going on this so you can enjoy it. Okay!
Jon: Anyway, thank you very much! I got one more song, and uh I just wanna say thank you to The Piano Guys for uh shooting these videos, because without them I would just be a piano player that nobody had heard about. And uh, so thanks to Paul and The Piano Guys. Let's give them a big hand. And I have to say, I'm so new to YouTube, it still hurts my feelings pretty bad when people put up bad comments and mean comments and uh, the other day somebody said uh, I look like Voldemort, and that hurt. That did hurt. And uh, but, you know I got thinking about it, Voldemort actually really wouldn't be that bad looking if he wasn't so pale and uh if he had a nose. So I feel a little better about it, but uh, anyway I thought that the guys at Piano Guys would enjoy, maybe we can get a close up of this. I think this deserves a blow fish. Can we get a closeup of the blow fish? Did that show up? We really didn't get much of an audience response on that, I dunno if it was worth it. But. Well, I had to do the blow fish because uh, the uh, Paul and The Piano Guys insisted that I do something very silly to end my act with, and that is to play a song called The Dumb Song, that has actually gotten 100,000 view on YouTube. And I have to wear head protection for this song, in the form of this wig, and I have to make a complete idiot out of myself, even worse than what I just did with the blow fish. So um. this helps though because at the end I have to smack my head repeatedly on the piano, and it provides protection like I said, so yeah. This was inspired by a tuna fish commercial when I was fifteen years old, and uh, I hope you enjoy. I know you're all thinking it looks really cool, but really, the only reason I wear it is for head protection. And it gets me really great discounts at Wendy's, which is nice.

John: The Piano Guys!
Hank: That is something that YouTube can do!
John: That's something you can do on YouTube. You can play the piano with a wig and your head.
Hank: I mean I really.. I honestly really loved that they are kinda bringing uh, classical music and an amazing skill set to a new generation.
John: Pretty awesome. And also they brought this piano for us to use, for free. Thank you Piano Guys!
Hank: Thanks for that!
John: So Hank, you know what else you can do on YouTube?
Hank: What else can you do on YouTube, John?
John: You can be awesome. Ladies and gentlemen, Charlie McDonnell!

Charlie: Hello! How's everyone doing? People, I need to do a talk, can you please be quiet? Um, when I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty nervous, because I was like, "oh my god. I have to do my VidCon talk today, and that's like thousands of people". But over the course of the day I've been getting more and more comfortable about it, so I went into the green room and found out this is being streamed on the front page of YouTube right now. Um, and not only that, but every single page on the whole of YouTube is linking right now to my face. So. We'll see how this goes. Why thank you. I also started writing this talk first thing when I arrived here at VidCon. I've been in the US for a couple of weeks just rehearsing for the Chameleon Circuit gig, which is happening this evening.

But yeah, I arrived at VidCon, I was like, "Oh, yeah, I actually have to do my talk now."  Um, last year, basically what I did is I took questions from the internet, and um, I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I'm gonna do that again.  But this is slightly different in that not only is there just questions but I've also just asked the internet for just topics.  I asked the internet, "What should I talk about at VidCon" so this talk you're about to see is just everything that VidCon wants me to talk about. Um, sorry, everything the internet wants me to talk about here at VidCon.  I'm sure some people at VidCon also want me to talk about some of the stuff.
"How do you come up with your video ideas?"  No single YouTuber likes this question at all.  It's, it's completely horrible to be asked it because all video ideas come from completely different places.  The only one bit of advice I can give to anybody who is stuck for video ideas is just go outside every once in a while, because I tend to find that I get more ideas from being outside in the real world than I do just in my bedroom.

Um, but other than that I can't really kind of give anymore, like, general advice.  And what I thought would be fun is to go over how I've come up with specific video ideas that I have.  Um, but these are all video ideas that I haven't made into videos yet, so these are literally just videos so I could just... hopefully are gonna give you a sneak preview of stuff that is coming up n my channel, but at the same time, who knows if any of this stuff will get made.

I'm gonna destroy a computer monitor at some point. Uh, this video, it's a good example of, um, how I can come up with video ideas that just come from all, like, different places in my life.  I made a video a while ago called the "Alex and Charlie Pilot" which was set basically-  (cheering) Oh! I'm glad you all liked that one, that one is more disliked than normal, so that's good to hear.  Oh no, that's alright I don't mind. I perfectly- I think it's perfectly fine when people, like, enjoy disliking my videos.  At least I m kind of giving them something.

But yeah, in that video I included this really old, like CRT computer monitor because I wanted it to be set in the nineties.  And I still have this really old computer monitor just in my bedroom, nothing to do with it. But then also recently I got in touch with these guys called The Slow Mo Guys, who told me that they have this really awesome slow motion camera, and did I want to use it for anything, and I thought, "Yeah I could destroy a computer monitor with it."  So that's basically how that idea came about.  Just from different places, and kind of piecing them together, thinking, "Yeah that could actually be a video."

"Corn Dogs With Charlie."  Um, I made this video a while ago called Cooking With Charlie, and I really liked it, I was really pleased with that one. {cheering}  Um, and I thought, I wanna do that again, and while I was here in the U.S. I thought, "Why don't I do an American-like Cooking With Charlie?"  And, um, one thing I did, actually, with this is, I wanted- I really like the alliteration of Cooking With Charlie, those two C's.  So I thought a good way to kind of, limit myself in terms of what I can do for this video is to make sure that the food starts with a C, hence, corn dogs.  And I think, in terms of thinking of creative ideas it's really good to give yourself creative constrictions like that, sometimes, because it helps you think just within those lines rather than within the lines of, you know, all foods ever. Thinking in terms of American foods that begin with the letter C, so, corn dogs.  And also, I've ever had corn dogs before.  I told Hank that a couple of days ago and he was just like, "What?" *laughs* "Can we shoot this video now because you need to have corn dogs."  But, yep, that's how I came up with that one.

And also, "No Head."  Um, this was one of the... the video ideas I came up with as a result of just my- one of my rare instances of actually being random. Um, in which I tweeted, "My head just fell off." And that was the whole tweet.  Um, and then basically, I ran with that, and I changed my Twitter profile pic to a picture of what my profile picture normally is, but without a head. And I started going on about where my head was and trying to find it.  And then eventually I decided, this is actually a video idea.  I could take this little random thing that I just put on the internet, and then use that to make a video out of it.  This is a video I've wanted to make for ages. It's basically, I- the reason I wanted to do it is because I really like the image of me kind of talking about, 'Oh, every now again my head just falls off,' I'm gonna admit to the world, make a fake documentary about my head falling off sometimes. And then I could have a talking head interview with literally just my head.  But I haven't been able to do it so far because I can't- I don't know how to work out the effects of it, but that hopefully will happen at some point.  That's the first topic everyone. {cheers}

["Fun Science" pops up on the screen] Yeah!  I can't tell you how happy it makes me t hear people just like, "Fun Science!"  That's just so nice.  'Cause I am, I'm just a massive science nerd.  I just think, kind of, science literacy is just like, it's an extremely important part of just, humanity today because science is so important to the world that we live in at the moment.  And I've wanted or a while to kind of communicate just like, a scientific message to the people who watch me on YouTube.  But at the same time, first and foremost, I'm on YouTube just to entertain people, I don't want to be just kind of sitting there boringly talking about the stuff that I think people should know. I wanna make science fun and interesting and so I decided to do- I keep looking up there [at screen behind him] expecting to see my slides, and then it's just me. Um, there I am!  Oh no I'm over there.

Um, so yeah, I thought that fun science was a really good important thing to do, and the reason I wanted to talk about it basically is, so far, I've made two fun science videos and I wanted- I get a lot of comments from people saying, "Make more fun science videos!" and I can tell you now, I will be making more fun science videos. {cheers}  They're the videos that just kind of mean a lot to me, so I want to make them as perfect as I possibly can.  So, yeah there will be more of those in the future.

"Talk about being a British YouTuber and how it is different to America."  Um, I found this, this topic quite interesting just because I, I found it interesting that someone would think that I would be, like, any more, like, in tune with like how to answer this question than an American YouTuber because I'm British, they're American, I don't really know much about the- what it's like to be an American YouTuber because I never have been one.  But I thought it, I thought it was an interesting topic an it sparked this thought in my mind, which is that I kind some ways, yes, sure, I'm a British YouTuber in that I come from from Britain and I have this accent and all that kind of stuff, but at the same time... {cheers}  Yeah, one for the accent. Hehe.  I made it myself. Um. *laughs*  Yeah, I, I thought it was an interesting topic because, although I am a British YouTuber, at the same time, most of my audience comes from here, in America. 

Forty percent of my audience, according to my YouTube insight data comes from this country, so if it's just going on where my audience is, I am an American YouTuber, so does that mean I should live, here? I don't quite know what.  um, and also because I am a nerd {cheers}  as soon as I found out that forty percent- 'cause I don't usually check my YouTube insight- as soon as I found out that forty percent of my audience members come from the U.S. I thought I, I would do some maths, um, which I never got around to putting in this, in this talk.  But basically I discovered that, I did the math, or the maths, as I should have put there, because I am British, that one, well, the probability basically of any one person here in the United States knowing who I am, apparently is one in one thousand, which I thought was, was just quite an interesting statistic, and just quite- also sort of scary in some ways but at the same time, I usually like people, like meeting people just around, just in the world because it's always nice just to have, you know, one in one thousand people be like, "Hey, I like your videos!"  It makes the world a bit nicer.

"Or..." Dot dot dot, I don't know why that's there, it just was there in the comment. "The first moment you realized you were famous."  Ahh. I talked about this last year, how I don't like the idea of being called famous at all, so at the moment, I, you know, I have no moment in which I realized I was famous.  Actually, I'm pretty sure there was an interview with Lady Gaga that happened fairly recently, my friend Alex was talking to me about it. How she was asked when she felt like she made it, and she says that she doesn't feel like she's made it yet.  But she's Lady Gaga!  And I, I mean I'm not Lady Gaga at all but I don't feel like I'm in a position to say that I am famous, but all this made me think about really is that fame is such a fairly relative thing.  Um, I don't know how many of you know Steven Fry. {cheers}

Well the interesting thing about Steven Fry is that in the United Kingdom he's just a massive celebrity, you won't find any single person who doesn't know who Steven Fry is.  I'm sure this audience is different because a lot of you watch my videos and therefore know who he is because he does the outro at the end of all my videos.  Um, but I have, I've asked a lot of people who Steven Fry is while I've been here and not many people know at all, um, and it's kind of odd that for me, someone who's a massive celebrity in the United Kingdom, I come over here, and just, a lot of people don't have a clue who he is.  And I think that YouTube is quite similar to that. There are a lot of people here who will, you know, come and be perceived as YouTube celebrities and suddenly, we're famous people. Like everybody knows who we are and it's just really really strange, but it's extremely relative, because I will, you know, go back to England, then I'll just be a normal person again.  So I just thought that was an interesting topic and I am basically finding it harder to say that I'm not famous now because it's, I think of it as such a relative thing But um, I'm still not gonna say that I'm a famous person.

Okay, yes. "Talk about Hungry Witches, that video that you never posted."  Um, if you follow me on Twitter you might know that I tend to try and make a lot videos, but about like half of the videos I make usually don't actually end up on YouTube just 'cause I'm, I'm quite a perfectionist in that sense.  But there was one video called Hungry Witches, which isn't really called Hungry Witches, um- this is going out on the front of YouTube and also there are a lot of kids here probably, s I changed on of the words in Hungry Witches to mean something else. Um, hehe.  Um, has anyone ever seen Two Girls, One Cup? {cheering} Hahaha, woo!  Um, if you haven't seen Two Girls One Cup, then you're probably at least aware of the reactions. Two Girls One Cup is, it's porn basically, um, and I discovered, I was thinking, "should I do a Two Girls One Cup reaction?" But then I realized that Two Girls One Cup is actually a minute long trailer for an hour long film called "Hungry Witches" and I decided to make a reaction video to that, but I could never upload it to YouTube because it was me narrating a porn film.  Um, but I thought because it's VidCon, well actually, I came up onstage thinking, "Oh I'll just show VidCon a little bit of this video I never got to upload to the internet," a kind of edited version, but now I'm gonna show it to the whole of YouTube as well, so let's see how this goes.  {cheering} Um... So this is thirty seconds of Hungry Witches, it's been heavily edited, it's not particularly interesting, but I thought it might just be fun just to show it to you. Let's hope the sound comes through ah!

[video begins]

Hello!  So I've just downloaded this uh, this porn film. You're probably aware of Two Girls One Cup, well Two Girls One Cup is in fact a one minute trailer for an hour long scat porn film called Hungry 'Witches'.  I'm now going to attempt to watch Hungry 'Witches'  (holds up computer) Hungry 'Witches! [live Charlie says, "after effects".]  Alright, Carla, starring Carla and Latifa.  Opens on a shot of some nice flowers.  Carla and Latifa enter... this is weird.  {laughing}

[video stops]

And then pornography begins, so it's not an hour long video or anything, I ended up skipping through because it was quite disgusting, but um.  Who knows? I figure that maybe one day when I'm like seventy or something I'll be like, "Ah, I don't care anymore, just show them Hungry Witches." So, maybe you'll get to see that video at some point.  But for the moment, it's locked away in my computer, um, and I only show it to very very close friends.

"What inspired you to start Chameleon Circuit?"  Um, I just wanted to, I just wanted to touch on this, because this seems to be a common misconception. I never started Chameleon Circuit!  Alex Day started Chameleon Circuit. {cheers}  That's all I want to say.

Here's a one. "Talk about Harry Potter." This person has written Talk About Harry Potter fourteen times.  Any Harry Potter fans... {screaming} Um, I want to talk about Harry Potter because, and this is sort of hard for me, because I know there are a lot of nerdfighters in the audience at the moment. {cheers}  But there seems to be this, this idea in people's heads that I'm a massive Harry Potter fan, and it feels like some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous thing.  But um, I feel like I needed to expel to you all, the truth about me and Harry Potter, which is that it's alright, but I've, I felt like I, yeah.  If any of you think less of me now that's fine, at least you know the truth.  But I'm just not a massive Harry Potter fan, I read the books once they came out, you know, pretty good.  I actually was reading them while they were coming out, um, when I was like, you know twelve but I stopped on book four because I was twelve and couldn't be bothered to read the whole of that book.  And I've seen all the films as well.  I think Harry should have kept the Elder wand, honestly. {cheers}  I mean that's just me.  I mean like, Dumbledore had it all his life, and what's like Harry, like... *mimes snapping wand* throw it away, pfft. {laughing}

"I think you should do a presentation on Charlie's hair through the years."  Um... {cheering}  Forty eight people like this one, so, that's what I'm doing.  It's a very short presentation, ready? (43:34) *Singing* Da da da dun, da dun da dun etc. {cheering when slides end} Personally this one here, is my favorite. Definitely. [picture of Charlie as a child] {cheering}  I can't, I can't remember if they actually put a bowl on my head or not.  But yeah, it's just, I think that's quite good.

"What if there was no YouTube?  What would your life be like? What would you be doing right now if YouTube didn't exist?"  Well I definitely wouldn't be on stage here at VidCon, um, that's the first thing.  But, um, I just wanna say, you know, thank you to everybody who watches me on YouTube and, um, all YouTube itself for existing.  'Cause I worry a lot about parallel universe Charlie who exists in a world where YouTube was never created, um, and about where nobody ever decided,'oh let's share online video, that would be a good thing.'  because YouTube has given me, just like a hell of a lot of confidence.  You might have seen me, you might have seen me wandering around here at VidCon, and I- I'm generally quite, just a shy person, but if you'd known me when I was younger, before YouTube, I was just incredibly kind of, I was incredibly shy, and YouTube's given me quite a lot of confidence as a person. So I , I have no idea what I'd be doing if it wasn't for YouTube.  I sort of, fell into this YouTube world and I was like, "Yeah, this is actually what I wanna do."  So, maybe, maybe Charlie, parallel universe Charlie is working in a fast food restaurant somewhere, I don't know, but um, I feel bad for him, and I, I feel good for me. {cheering}

"Where does Charlie go from here? (not literally, in your career.)" Um, I wanted to talk about this one, because um, I do know where I'm gonna be going next in my career, I have this, this thing prepared, um, at the moment that I've been kind of sitting on for the last, ah... I know it's been months, about four or five months maybe, and I can tell you where I'm gonna go next, in my career, but I can also tell you where I'm gonna go literally.  Um, this is only gonna be a teaser, a very brief, kind of annoying teaser because I am in the very early stages of planning this at the moment, I can' tell you a lot, but what I can tell you is that um, next year, myself, Alex Day, and Michael Aranda will... {cheers} Yeah, Michael, woo!  Yeah.  Uh, we're gonna be spending a lot of time uh, here in America. {cheering} And when I say a lot of time here in America I mean like... a lot of time here in America. {cheering}  And, uh, you might be interested in where in America we'll be going.  Uh, we're gonna be going everywhere. {cheering}

["Just do the nipple thing and walk off stage." comes up on screen] {cheering}  I'm so pleased that the nipple thing got such a big cheer.  So last year at VidCon, I took my pants off. {cheers}  That is what I did, and I'm living with those repercussions now, because here I am, at VidCon next year, um, not knowing what I do to finish my talk. Because I feel like I need to top last year, where I took my pants off. Or trousers off, um, and revealed another pair of trousers underneath if you weren't here last year.  And doing the nipple thing was like, then maybe that might be like, an ultimate version of the, you know the pants thing, but I don't feel like it was a step up.  And I need- I thought basically, I need to do something that is better than last year, or I need to like, be honest and say, 'I can't think of anything' and then just walk off stage. I can promise you I will no be doing the nipple thing onstage here at VidCon, especially not in front of all of YouTube watching me on the internet, haa! Um, so yeah, I don't, I don't have anything kind of special to do, but um, there is one more, one last thing.

["Take your pants off again." comes on screen]  {laughs and cheers} {screaming as he walks onto open part of stage}  But remember when I said I wasn't gonna do anything... *whispers* What's he gonna do?  I can't work him out. Oh my God, he's putting the microphone down. {cheering} {music starts playing} *takes pants off*  Thank you! *walks off stage*

[John and Hank walk onstage, laughing]

Hank: Let me just apologize.  Charlie did not tell us that his goal was to take his pants off.  He's just playing a little practical joke on the Vlogbrothers.

John: I love, I love Charlie so much and I don't think there's anyone more talented working in this, um, in this medium. Um... or hotter! {cheering}

Hank: I've completely forgotten why we're here.

John: Yeah.

Hank: What's going on? So, so John?

John: Uh, so you can do that on YouTube.

Hank: Yeah, well, almost not.  You can, you can, probably shouldn't.

John: You know what else you can do on YouTube? 

Hank: Well, many people can and do play music.

John: Ladies and gentlemen, here's Karmin! [cheering]

Amy: This is amazing! Hello. We are very honored to be here. We're going to preform a couple of songs for you live.

[Nick plays a few notes on piano]

Nick: Hi guys.

Amy (at same time as Nick talks): This first one...

Amy: This is my fiance, Nick. He's very hot. And my name's Amy, and this song is called "On Your Side". 

[Nick plays piano while Amy sings]

Amy: [singing] When nobody tells you what to believe and everything else tells you to leave, you know what I want, you know who I see. Here's hopin' your heart's lookin' at me. So many people talkin' and there's too many words to hear. Soon enough, you'll be walking and when all of the smoke is cleared. 

Nick and Amy: [singing] Maybe it's love cause I've given you all that I got. I will be here when they're not. I'm on your side. Maybe it's love cause I've given you all that I got. I will be here when they're not. I'm on your side. 

Amy: [singing] Ooooooooo, Ooooooooooooooo, Ohhhhhhhwhoaaa, Ooooooooo, Ooooooooooooooo, Ooooooooooo.

Amy: [singing] You act out a part you never rehearsed. It's like writing a book, but losing your words. Oooooo. I understand, you have been burned. Just leave it to me, I'll take your turn. So many people talking and there're too many words, soon enough you'll be walking and when all of the smoke is cleared. 

Nick and Amy: [singing] Maybe it's love cause I've given you all that I got. I will be here when they're not. I'm on your side. Maybe it's love cause I've given you all that I got. I will be here when they're not. I'm on your side. 

Amy: [singing] Ooooooooo, Ooooooooooooooo, Ohhhhhhhwhoaaaa, Ooooooooo, Ooooooooooooooo, Ooooooooooo.


Nick: [speaking] What's happening, YouTube? So first of all, thank you, thank you guys. What's goin' on?

Amy: [speaking] Thank you so much for all of your support, I mean you're the reason we're here

Nick: You are, 100%.

Amy: We started YouTube a little over a year ago so we feel very lucky to be here, um...

Nick: So we're just going to do, I think we're just gonna do one more-

Amy: Yeah there's a song that I know SOME of you want to hear...


Amy: What- what could it be?

Nick: If anyone knows the words feel free to uh-

Amy: Feel free to join.

[Nick plays piano while Amy sings]

Amy: [singing] Yellow model chick, Yellow bottle sipping, Yellow Lamborghini, Yellow top missing, Yeah, yeah, That stuff look like a toupee, I get what you get in 10 years [Amy points microphone to audience]

[audience sings "in two days"]

Amy and Nick: [singing] Ladies love me, I'm on my Cool J

Amy: [singing] If you get what I get, what would you say?, She wax it all off, Mr.Miyagi, And them suicide doors, Hari Kari
Look at me now, look at me now, Oooh, I'm getting paper, Look at me now, Oh, look at me now, Yeeeeaaah, fresher than a mo- what?

Lil' jigga bigger than gorilla
'Cause I'm killing every jigga that try to be on my stuff
Better cuff your man if you want him, I can get him
Cause he accidentally slip and fall on my crack
Oops I said on my crack
I ain't really mean to say on my crack
But since we talking about my crack
All of you haters say hi to that
I'm done [audience cheers]
No really though, I'm not done

Ay ay ay ay ay ay

Nick: [singing] let's goooo!!!

Amy: [singing] 'Cause I feel like I'm running
And I'm feeling like I gotta get away, get away, get away
Better know that I don't and I won't ever stop
'cause you know I gotta win everyday day, day
See they don't really really wanna pop me
Just know that you will never stop me
And I know that I can be a little cocky
Oh you ain't never gonna stop me
Every time I come a jigga gotta set it, then I gotta go, and then I gotta get it
Then I gotta blow, and then I gotta show that any little thing that jigga think he be doing
'Cause it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm gonna dadadada
Then I'm gonna murder every thing and anything a badaboom a badabing
I gotta do a lot of things, to make it clearer to a couple jiggas
That I'm always winning and I gotta get it again, and again, and again
And I be doing it to death and now I move a little foul
A jigga better call a ref, and everybody knows my style
And jiggas know I'm the the best when it come to doing this
And I be banging on my chest, and I bang in the east, and I'm banging in the west
And I come to give you more and I will never give you less
You will hear it in the street or you can read it in the press
Do you really wanna know what's next?
See the way we on it and we all up in the race and you know
We gotta go, don't try to keep up with the pace
Cause we struggling and hustling and sending it and getting it
And always gotta do it take it to another place
Gotta taste it and I gotta grab it
And I gotta cut all through this traffic
Just to be at the top of the throne
Gotta know I gotta have it- [audience cheers]
Nick and Amy [singing]: Look at me now, look at me now
Oh, I'm getting paper
Look at me now
Oh, look at me now
Yeah, fresher than a mo-...what?
Amy: [singing] Man forget these haters, how y'all doin'?
I'm Lil' Tunechi, I'm a nuisance, I go stupid, I go dumb like the 3 stooges
I don't eat sushi, I'm the stuff, no pollution or substitution
Now I'm chillin' playin' movies in my Jacuzzi, fruit is juicy
I never gave a damn about a hater, got money on my radar
Dress like a skater, got a big house, came with an elevator
You jiggas ain't eatin', go tell a waiter
Marley said, "Shoot 'em", and I said, "Okay"
You on that bullsh-- then I'm like ole
I don't care what you say, so don't even speak
Your boyfriend's a freak like Cirque Du Soleil
That's word to my flag, and my flag red
I'm out of my head, yo I'm outta my mind, from the bottom I climb
You ain't hotter than mine, nope, not on my time and I'm not even trying
What's poppin' Slime? Nothin' five, and if they trippin' forget 'em five
I ain't got no time to shuck and jive, these jiggas as sweet as pumpkin pie
Ciroc and sprite on a private flight,
Yo I've been tight since "Guiding light",
And my pockets right, and my diamonds white
And my Momma's nice and my daddy's gone
You peeps be scared 'cause I'm too wild, been here for a while
I was like no trial I put it down
I'm so Young Money, if you got eyes look at me now, oh
Nick and Amy: [singing] Look at me now, look at me now
Oh, I'm getting paper
Look at me now
Oh, look at me now
Yeah, I'm fresher than a mo-...what?
Amy: [singing] Okay, okay
Is that right?
I'm fresher than a mo-...what?

[audience cheers, Amy and Nick bow]

Amy: [speaking] Thank you so much, we would love to meet each and every one of you We're gonna have a little table set up outside I think afterwards, so, come say hello and thank you again for having us. [audience cheers]

Nick: Thank you guys, we love you, we love you so much.

[Brothers Green walk on stage]

John: That's Karmin everybody!! [To Karmin] thank you so much...[everyone embraces]

Hank: What!

John: What! How is that even possible?

Hank: I mean, also how it is possible that a band can go from, you know, relative obscurity um, to international stardom with only, uh, a little- a little website.

John: (?) video, they don't charge you anything to upload them, it's kind of a miracle. [Hank laughs]

Hank: I- I did have someone actually ask me one time; "How much does it cost, to upload a video to YouTube?" and I was like "You are ill-informed." [audience laugh]

John: It's a heck of a deal! [Hank laughs] So!

Hank: What else can you do on YouTube John? We have a schtick.

John: Yeah we have a schtick, if you haven't noticed We worked hard on this. Ah, well you could for instance um, do improv, like-

Hank and John: everywhere?

John: Yeah, you could.

[audience cheers]

Hank: Charlie Todd!! The founder of Improv everywhere!

John: Ladies and gentlemen, Improv everywhere!! Charlie Todd!

Hank: He's the man, there he is! [Brothers Green exit, Charlie Todd enters]

Charlie: Hey everybody!So I gotta get my presentation going, hold on one second... Alright. So, is it playing? Oh it wants me to log into the Wi-Fi no I'm not going to do that...uh OK, so hopefully it's- can I see my first slide? Just make sure that [video cuts to slide] OK good awesome I see it!

Oh cool so Hey everybody! Uh, I'm Charlie Todd from the YouTube channel Improv Everywhere, and uh [audience cheers] thanks a lot! And, uh, I moved to New York City in 2001 with an interest in being an actor or a comedian, give it up for New York [audience cheer]

And while I was trying to figure out how to do tha- I didn't have access to a stage immediately, I decided to start doing performance in public places around New York as a way of expressing myself. I'mma show you guys some of the early videos from Improv Everywhere and a couple of newer ones and the behind the scenes story of how it all got started today.

So the first project that I'm gonna show [screen cuts to video]; this is called the "No pants subway ride" and it's the very original one it took place in 2002 on the (?~1:60:15) train in Manhattan. It was shot with a hidden camera just on someone's lap with a magazine on top of it. These are 2 Danish guys who sit down right next to the cameraman, and this is me right here.

So it's winter, it's January, it's very cold, I'm wearing a brown coat, a hat, a scarf, but I am not wearing pants. And you can kinda see my ladybug (?~1:60:36) boxers peeking out- this girl notices me right here.

So this girl is the star of the video She is not in on it, she does not know what's happening. She noticed me but she went back to reading her book - I don't now if you can read the title but t is "RAPE" is the name... of the book which is, sort of a bizarre title for this situation. Um in the meantime, I have 6 of my friends who are waiting along the subway platform at the next 6 stops, and the way this prank works is that they are going to enter this car 1 by 1 at each stop also in their underwear- they're gonna act like they don't know each other, and we're all gonna act like it's just a coincidence that we happened to forget our pants on this very cold January day. So, watch this girl as we go to the second stop here. [clip plays for a bit, another man walks in in boxers, the girl looks a bit confused

So at this point she decides to put the "RAPE" book away, and be a little bit more aware of her surroundings. In the meantime the Danish dudes who are right next to the hidden camera they're cracking up, they think this is the funniest thing that they've ever seen before, And right about now she's going to make eye contact with them. [Girl smiles at Danish guys, and puts her head in her hands].

And I've always loved that moment in this video because it seemed like the experience was something that was maybe a little bit scary for her, or she was definitely confused; and once it became a shared experience& she was laughing with someone else, then it became something that was funny... so the train is now pulling into the third stop along the line. [A man walks in, past the girl and camera with brightly colored boxers the audience laughs]

So the video won't show all of the stops but this happens for 4 more stops 4 more guys get on, then at the 8th stop a girl got on with a bit duffel bag full of pants and announced she had pants for sale for a dollar uh, like you might sell batteries or candy on the train or something. Uh, n a matter of fact we all bought a pair of pants and walked away, exited the train at different stops and never said anything about it. So that was the first annual "No Pants Subway Ride". [audience cheers]

Thank you. And I love that girl's reaction so much uh, and I remember taking the video home, there was no YouTube it was 2002, and watching it on my television with my camera plugged in, and I was so excited about her reaction and it really... the main point of Improv Everywhere is to cause a scene, but to create something that gives someone else a great story to tell and is a positive experience for someone - no one is really the butt of a joke. We're the idiots in our underwear and it's more about giving someone else a unique, great time and awesome story to tell.

So over the years, um, ou know people always ask me where I get the ideas for Improv Everywhere projects and I come up with myself and I collaborate with a lot of people, but I also get ideas emailed to me every now and then, and in 2006 a high school kid in Texas emailed me a said "You should get as many people as possible to ut on blue polo shirts and khaki pants and go into a Best Buy and stand around". [audience laughs]

So let's see that image [projector shows a bunch of blue-shirted, khaki wearing people jumping for joy] ...there we go. So, uh, I wrote him back and said "You are absolutely right, I think I'll do that next week" and Improv Everywhere at that point was almost 5 years old and I had a pretty big mailing list of participants and it had just grown and grown, so I was able to get about 80 people and here's the video; [Video begins with the Improv Team and the text "Operation: Best Buy" with rock music] I'm gonna mute that, but here's the video right here. This took place in the Best Buy that was in, um, it was in 23rd street whoops...that's not right, sorry [Charlie had issues with the projector for a bit] sorry about that, embarrassing technical difficulty, OK here we go! Uh, so this took place in he Best Buy that was just opened in Manhattan, and I ad everybody wear blue polo shirts and khaki pants, it was people of all different ages, uh, here was one girl who I think was 8 years old, this guy was 65 and I told the participants "Don't work, but also don't shop". And if you go into any store and you don't face the products you look like you work there, particularly if you're wearing the exact uniform of the store... so in this video look for the yellow tags; anybody that has a yellow tag on their shirt is a real employee, if not, they're part of our army of pranksters uh, but most of the Best Buy employees thought this was pretty hilarious um, a lot of them went to the back to get their camera and pose for photos with us, a lot of them made jokes about putting us to work and asking us to go to the back to get heavy television sets, but the uh managers and the security guards did NOT think that it was very funny and they actually dialed 911.

So you can see that the security guards are in the yellow shirts and the black shirts in this video so quickly although employees were going around saying "The cops are coming the cops are coming, you guys have to leave you have to leave" - there's the cop there in black, and basically when they arrived they had to inform Best Buy management that it was not illegal to wear a blue polo shirt and khaki pants... [audience cheers]

Thank you. So. There's a photo right here of one of the cops at the end and basically hey were searching for our camera guys, um, and they found a couple of our camera guys - we just filmed it with hidden cameras in double bags, obviously you're not allowed to shoot in a, shoot video in a store like Best Buy. One thing that we did that I was really proud of was was I had 1 participant just came in with a blank mini DVD tape, and went over to camera department in Best Buy and just put the tape in one of their cameras and just filmed the prank, and looked like he was shopping the entire time. So we got a lot of good footage of the cops from doing that.

So some ideas for Improv Everywhere are emailed to me, and some come from just things that I experience, um, and places I see - and I think the best Improv Everywhere projects are site-specific. They happen at one place for a reason.

So this slide right here shows these 2 escalators that are in Manhattan, um, at 53rd Street where 6 train meets the E train and I was making the transfer there one morning on the way to work; it's a very miserable place to be in the morning and uh, long lines of people and I decided we needed to do something to improve it and make it fun and funny for one morning, so here's the video. [Video begins with the sign for "Subway EV6" with a caption of "8:33 AM 53rd and Lexington". Bust crowds walk through the subway] So again, this is January It's very cold, people are on their way to work. Perhaps they aren't very happy about that. There's a long line to even get on these 2 escalators. [Video shows people going up the escalators. At the bottom of the parallel stairs, a woman holds up a sign that says "ROB WANTS", a little further another lady with a sign saying "TO GIVE YOU" then a gentlemen nodding sagely, holding a sign saying "A HIGH FIVE". The faces of confused commuters turns to joy. A final lady's sign says "GET READY!" and then a man holding a sign saying "ROB" with a downward facing arrow stands a few steps above Rob, holding his hand out for high fives, which many commuters give him. The projector shows a photo fo the whole scene. The audience laughs]

So that's a photo of it too. So that was done completely without authorization, we just showed up with those signs and nobody from the MTA seemed to care apparently it was OK to stand there with those signs, and Rob washed his hands before and afterwards and did not get sick, so that was great.

Um in closing I just want to talk a little bit uh, about kinda my story on YouTube. Improv Everywhere started getting more popular and I started getting emails from TV producers saying there should be a television show. So I spent a couple years working with a variety of producers and pitching Improv Everywhere to a variety of TV networks and eventually something worked out and we sold the half hour pilot to NBC. And we shot that in early 2007, it was tonnes of fun to make, I was really proud of it... but they didn't pick it up! It failed. And I remember my agent at the time he said to me "Charlie, Improv Everywhere is now like a used car I can't sell it to anybody elese, nobody's interested now that hat it's failed at NBC you should just move on, move on to another project and forget about it. And I remember thinking that that was the stupidest advice I've ever heard in my life [audience cheers] and so, y'know, just because it hadn't worked out for one television network in this one time didn't mean that I couldn't keep doing what I had been doing for 5 years on the internet.

So I went back to doing what I love, and creating projects that I was excited about posting them on YouTube and over the past 4 years the Improv Everywhere channel has exploded and we have 8 times as many subscribers now as we did then, and it's just been getting more and more popular because of the partner program, and because of opportunities like touring speaking at college campuses, and producing projects at festivals all over the world, and I've been able to turn Improv Everywhere into a full time job [audience cheers]. Thank you; I just want to say to all you guys that it's so exciting that we are living in a time now where the gatekeepers don't matter. You don't have to have permission from somebody who works in a corner office in a tall building out here in Los Angeles in order to create exactly what you want to create and put it online for potentially millions of people to see it. [Audience cheers] And I think, y'know, that that's the sorta advice I want to give you guys like figure out what it is that you like to do and just make it. Don't wait for a big break don't wait for some kind of opportunity to arrive, you need to create your own opportunity and it's already there. And it's called YouTube. So just make as many videos as you can and do it because you love it, not because you want to make money or because you want to be famous do it because it's what you love to do. And I promise you that if it's good, eventually it will rise to the top and you will find a way to turn it into your career and you won't have asked anybody's permission at any point in the process. So thanks a lot. [Audience cheers as Charlie walks offstage]

John: Woo! That was awesome [hugs Charlie] that was so great thank you so much. [To audience] Charlie Todd from Improv Everywhere! [Audience cheers]

Hank: I mean literally he has create a genre. [John walks off with a microphone stand]

John: Hello camera man.

Hank: Oh yeah, check him out.

John: His camera's so big.

Hank: He's much bigger than ours, yes. [John claws at the camera and growls] Is that okay with you? [Audience laughs]

John: I can just smell the GIFs on Tumblr.. speaking of GIFs on Tumblr, I have an update for you. Charlie broke Tumblr. [Hank laughs, audience cheers] To be fair, it's pretty easy to break.

Hank [laughing]: Burn!

John: Well, they(?~1:71:38) sponsor the conference they can, and I won't say anything nasty about them. What were you saying Hank?

Hank: I was just saying that Ch- uh, it's been amazing to watch his online video has enabled people not just to create new forms of entertainment, but like, create new genres of internet. Like video blogging is not a thing that existed before. Improv Everywhere is not a thing that could have existed without the internet.

John: Yeah it's really really exciting to be at the dawn of his new art form with people, uh, experimenting endlessly, doing an astonishing variety of really really cool stuff.

Hank: Speaking of an astonishing variety of really really cool stuff exploding on the internet... next, we have, huh, well, I well, we can't break our schtick what's our, what was it? What else can you do on the internet John?! This is our schtick we have to do this.

John: You can be GEORGE WATSKYYYYYYYY!!!!!

[Brothers Green walk offstage as George Watsky walks on. Upbeat techno is playing.]

George [rapping]:

Oh, hi
I'm that guy
Built so fly in a silk bow tie
Don't know why I'm built so fly
But I am, no lie
Oh my
Rolled by on a low ride Huffy
Sitting on the pegs, shelltoes puffy
Cuff rolled up to my calf
Class out the ass
Bad with the swag like Buffy
Gotta be the one to bite the bullet
I'm a sinner but I bet I could of been a better man
I wanna be Zen, but I go sipping on some medicine
Instead of meditating, but I get it when I can
I don't wanna wind up in the gutter with a bottle of malt
Liquor, bitter cause I never got a call
Telling me that it's all figured out
I'm sick of doubt, but I'm looking at the wall
Part of me was hoping to be caught up in the moment
And to be open to the good and the God in me
But I got a lobotomy
And I get that I oughta become a bit of an oddity
When somebody gets offended by the thought of me

"Who's he? "... You gotta be kidding me! 
Do me like Gabourey Sidibe
If you see me with a chickadee
No diggity, it'll be giggity giggity giggity
Gonna send it like a letter from above
With a woman that I love, cause I get it like I live
But if my baby's gay, I'll say:
"You go, gay baby, work that crib! 
Work that bib! Burp that kid! 
Screw police, flip that car! "
I don't want a Jesus piece
But I want a Reese's Piece and a Kit Kat Bar
I want everybody focusing on getting me on Letterman
To kick it for the betterment of innocent Americans
Who never want to settle for their pop... 
Or not... cause my bedroom rocks
And the beat still knocks when I sort my socks
I'm five-foot-eleven of sex
From the tip of my head to my gorgeous... knees

[high pitch]

Who is that boy?
How does he rap so good?
I don't know how that pale boy raps so good
How does he do that?
Do that?
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow

George [speaking]: I don't know why I opened with that. Um, but I think it's really hip hop, um, to have "meow" solos in your songs.
Are there any cat lovers in the audience by any chance? [audience cheers] Really?! What a coincidence, that's wonderful. Because... I love all cats. Even bob cats. And your mom cats, even wombats.

George [rapping]:

I don’t want to battle but if you just wanna fight then you can fire at will
Let’s just play pirates till
Legit we’re scallywags
Hit me in the leg and put a peg in it instead
And then I bet that it’ll benefit my Cali swag
Hey where’s my rally rag?
Maybe my fanny pack
Winning winning winning
Every inning, every round
And when I’m gonna down I’m gonna hit like Manny Pacquiao
I’m running laps now
Do jumping jacks
Celebrate our friendship in a slumber party
Killing in a pillow-fight and with my Rumble Pak
I don’t hit punching bags
I pick the pumpkin patch
Who’s the little pisher so ambitious that he’s bigger than his
And has got two thumbs attached?

O hai!

This guy right here!
Credit to Reddit you bet I’ll never forget I’m forever indebted
And Ellen for getting the cougars to check it
It’s too good to take and so I’m gonna go dry my tears
Gonna meet up at a 7-Eleven to pick up a dank donut pack
I look at myself in the glass and go ‘Oh what?!’
Taking a bit of a nap, then I’m waking up for snack time
Making our way to the back of line, ’cause we don’t cut
Never get up at the crack of dawn if I can help it
Wanna be able to tag along when sun is setting
Gotta be open to having a long and healthy session
Taking the love I got and then I try to spread it
Why would I want a pet if I can’t even pet it?
I don’t know! I don’t want any lame pet
Me and my pet are winning
It’s game, set, match
I worship Biggie, Pharoahe, Eminem, and Busta Bust and Mr. Fade to Black
But could I be the Best Ever rap threat?
Of course I’m not, silly rabbit!
There’s billions of people
And we haven’t heard any animals rap yet

[Audience cheers]

George [speaking]: Thank you very much. Are you guys enjoying VidCon so far? This is amazing for me because I've been doing spoken word and rap for like 8 years, and it wasn't until months ago that people started watching my videos, and I can't tell you how humbling and um, y'know how much it means to me, for somebody y'know, there are so many content creators out there and we're all trying to be heard, and to get comments and positive feedback, it just, it's a it's really changed the complexion of my life and I want to thank you guys for allowing me to have an audience. Um, I really really appreciate it [audience cheers].

And one of the other amazing things about YouTube is that I rap, and I love rapping, but another thing that I really love doing is spoken word poetry. And I've been doing it for years and years, and all of these people have discovered my poetry - this like, weird fringe art form, through something more accessible, like rap. And I think that YouTube is helping to resurrect this art form that, you know, exists on the fringes and is something I love to do. And I would love to do a couple poems for you, if that would be alright for you. Um. This piece that I'm going to do right now is for anybody out there who's ever been made fun of, for the way they talk.

So someone said to me the other day I've got a lisp
A stranger
Said I've got a subtle lisp
And I should know
I sound a little stupid doing spoken word when all my words with "s" in them are spoken so absurd
Now, I'm not upset
Okay, it just sucks
To think you're speaking normally for two decades
And then shucks, find out your stuff sounds like a stanza of
Severus Snape's toughest Parseltongue - it's pronounced by Daffy Duck.
So I will say this.
My subtle lisp is not sinful.
I'm not sorry Saturday, I'm not sorry Sunday
I'm spiritual and when I speak I celebrate the Sabbath seven days a week
I've got special "s" sauce smothered on my skull walls like a tossed salad so silkscreen the Sistine ceiling on my soft palate.
I sing along with super 1:17:49